A deep breath broke the morning silence. Iryien smelled salt. She tasted it from the air, it was so strong. This rocks, she thought to herself. Looking out over the ocean, she watched the seagulls and doves fly about the ship. Freedom...such was the sea. And to think she was getting college credit for this! Waj woke up and looked outside. He drooled. Treisel, in the bunk below Waj's, looked outside, then quickly away. "Umm...er...." Rahve, from another cabin, was direct. "You might want to put some CLOTHES ON...." Iryien frowned. Could she help it if the sea made her feel a bit of the exhibitionist? And how hard was it to get Tao to notice, anyway? Tao slept to the gentle rocking of the waves. ------------------------------------------------------- To Hell and Back Chapter XVII: Spell Raiders and one Spellbreaker Started by Steven Scougall This chapter written by Nicholas Eckert, the Vidstudent ------------------------------------------------------- Two uneventful days at sea down, one to go - if Mordecai's estimate held true. The man seemed okay, though the learned tone he projected just set off the warning bell marked, "This Man Knows Too Much". Treisel let the feeling pass, however; things such as a temple that no one returned from were much more obvious dangers for him to pass the time worrying about, if he wished. Or, rather, if he didn't wish, but would occupy his mind almost forcefully. That, and the lack of a career following all this. Temple that no one returns from. Treisel sighed. He _was_ hoping that would work. Tao walked into the room, sweat-covered from the morning training session. Yesterday's session had been simple; hold staff, learn how to plant feet, tilt the body just so - Iryien was apparently a stickler for body position - all technical, without much movement. Today's lesson had involved basic sparring, which explained both the weariness and the sixteen or so odd bruises visible. Iryien said she showed promise, and hoped to get some time working with her once they reached shore as well. It felt good being useful, Tao noted; it was the various aches and pains as one learned to be useful that felt particularly awful. "Tao?" "Yes, Trei?" "How did I get myself into this, again?" "Well, you wanted to cheat on your thesis, so you stole a book from the University of Magic's library...." "Okay, bad question. How do I get myself into these types of situations?" "What do you mean?" Treisel sighed and collected the best words he could to express himself. "Constant, deadly danger all over the place types of situations, specifically when I'm trying to land opportunity and/or a decent life position." "I...think you're answering yourself, Trei." The Summoner thought about that one for a second, and sighed some more. "You're right. So, then, what am I going to do for a job?" "Have you ever...er...did you ever think about what specifically you wanted to do when you graduated? That is, before the incident." Tao tried to smile weakly, hoping it wasn't too sore of a spot. "Actually..." Treisel thought for another moment. "...well, not really. I figured I'd look at the jobs offered, compare pay and benefits packages, see what work was actually involved, check out the employers' records and their attitude towards employees...." "All you knew was that you were studying to be a sorceror," Tao summarized. "No specific interest." "Not one." He buried his face in his hands. "Damn, I am a slacker." "Cheer up, Trei. We'll figure out something." Tao mentally gasped. Did she just say, "We'll?" Treisel mentally gasped. Did she just say, "We'll?" They slowly approached each other, their lips - "Hey, Treisel, get a load of this," said Waj, standing just inside the door. Who am I to break tradition? ______________________________________________________________________ "...say, northwest...twelve knots per hour. We're not in any rush, I think." Caemryn nodded to her husband, and muttered a few lines ending with the word "WIND!" The result was a fine blast filling the sails, sending them on their way. From below, Treisel blinked. The ship had a magic user aboard *besides* them? Captain Mordecai, in no way to be confused with his rather inebriated brother, Morgan, called out from the crow's nest. "Ho! We'll reach landfall by tonight! You might want to pack up your things!" Treisel shouted back, "Who's that that casted the Wind spell?" "One moment! Don't want to make myself hoarse answering questions!" Mordecai and his wife climbed down, while Treisel, Waj, and, notably, Tao approached the mast. "Sorry I didn't introduce her earlier," began Mordecai. "Gentlemen and lady, this is my lovely wife and ship's wizard, Caemryn." "Cameryn...commerin...." Wajissabequahze, in yet more fits of irony (as if his banishment wasn't enough), struggled at the pronunciation. "And, my dear, these are some of our passengers; Treisel, Tao, and...'Waj', if I recall correctly?" Waj nodded in response. Treisel then re-entered the conversation. "You have a ship's wizard?" "I know, it's a bit peculiar," said Mordecai. "But, for one, it's nice to have a bit of luxury that stands out against the rest of the ships around. Imagine a flying carpet with a crystal ball reasonably attached for in-flight networking. It's just something that makes the ride a little more pleasurable for my guests." "And...?" Caemryn nudged her husband. "Oh, yes, there is the 'I'm married to her and it'd be lovely to take my wife along' bit. I shan't forget that." Caemryn gave her hubby the "You'd better not" smile, noted as number three hundred ninety-one by her husband. "Not to offend, but...do you think some ships would be interested in hiring a wizard to help them out? I mean, I know this ship's taken care of, but...well, after all this adventuring is over, I'm going to be needing a job and all...." "Some might," said Caemryn. "Most don't really think about it, I suppose. You'd have to ask first, most likely." She paused for a second. "That's odd." "What, dear?" asked Mordecai. "I swear, I only set the spell to twelve knots. But, the sail's full, and looks like it's about to tear off." "Eh?" said Mordecai, looking up. He then chose two more two-letter syllables: "Uh-oh." He finished by choosing four more letters, which we will ignore. Treisel then had a brainstorm. "The spell's effect radius reaches this level, doesn't it?" "Of course." The other party members caught on all at once, which, incidentally, is how the ship was sent full into a storm, and, with Tao knocked immediately against the mast when a good wave said "Hello!" to the boat, things reached that point of hysterical panic one would come to expect by now. The porcupines helped. ______________________________________________________________________ "PTOOOEY!" "Ow...sand burn...." Rahve was the first to look up. "Is that...." Mordecai was second. "Yeah, that'd be it. Which would mean we're well off course." One of the crew stood up. "Not that it matters much now, Cap'n - the ship's torn to shreds in what places she ain't battered to splinters." "Damn." Waj guessed that to be the "expression of disbelief" type. He was getting better at this. He smiled. "Um, sorry..." said Tao, shaking out more than a few stray cobwebs. "I guess this one's my fault." "How so?" asked Caemryn. "She has a magical distortion field around her," added Treisel, taking off his boots in a vain attempt to remove the newly-injected sand from them. "Spells tend to go...wacky around her." "Wacky?" asked Mordecai. "Don't ask," pleaded Treisel. Iryien finally stood, having managed to shake out her own cobwebs caused when the quarterstaff she'd been using to recall classwork for Tao's training sessions had blown into her face at gale force. That was going to leave a welt, though she wore it beautifully...at least, Waj thought so. "We're here, then? Well, what are we waiting for?" "Accountability check," said Mordecai. "Coming back to our senses," said Tao. "The fear to go away," said Treisel. "All right, all right, enough already...." ______________________________________________________________________ Five hours later, after seeing that, somehow, everyone was all right (save for being soaked, shaken, sand-clogged, and with a few quills in places best not mentioned), the ship's crew broke out the survival equipment, including sleeping bags, tents, and around fifteen kegs of ale. It was going to be rough, but the ale'd get them through a day or so. Meanwhile, Treisel and friends looked at the temple map. "Lessee...that's the door there, so turn the map like this -" Iryien, having taken Orienteering for Adventurers II, was in charge for the moment, and hence did said turning - "...go through the main hallway, avoid the gargoyle, and you're well inside. From there...nothing else is marked, as apparently the gargoyle does a pretty good job." Triesel gulped. "Eh, it can't be that bad," said Waj, sampling a portion of the pirates' rations. I mean, if it's only a gargoyle, then -" "I said, that's as far as the map knows. The person who drew the map didn't get any farther." "Oh. So, how'd the map get out then?" "Probably an Item Return spell," Triesel said. "It's one of the middle-echelon enchantments you don't hear about much. Its only practical use is to make sure your loved ones receive your last effects. It activates as soon as the person's soul leaves his body, thus severing the magical tethers keeping the items on oneself. It almost is like a rubber-band attachment." "Huh," said Tao. "So, the wizard or whomever got to the gargoyle, then either went further or got killed right there, and the map snapped back home?" "You got it." At this point, Mordecai strode towards the group, mug in hand. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're probably going to be here for a while, until we can negotiate a ride back with another ship. In the meantime, while I take care of that bit of business, my wife would like to know if she can accompany you, having little else to do and all." "Don't see why not," said Treisel. "Sure," said Tao. The rest nodded agreement. "Very well, then, she'll be over in a bit. Your call whether you want to rest the night and leave in the morning, or get it over with." "We'd best get going. No telling how long it'll take." "Very well, then - I wish you all luck. And, if you could, do take care of her for me? I'd hate to have to go in there and kill everything just because she didn't make it out, or somesuch." "Will do," said Waj. "Good, then. I'll have a ship ready when you return. In the meantime...." He turned to the sailor in charge of the rations. "Pour me another! For the ship!" "AYE!" went the crew. ______________________________________________________________________ Thirty minutes later, the group, with Caemryn now in tow, approached the door. Rahve pounded Waj for looking at her the wrong way (did I mention this was the fifth time?), then pushed on the old gate. It creaked open slowly, to reveal ancient stone steps and a rather musty smell. Plugging their noses for a bit, Iryien and Waj lit torches and took to the front. Five steps in, and they saw what looked like a large stone statue with a large gem embedded slightly in the forehead. Nearby, a skeleton held a sling. "Well, that's a new take on the 'David and Goliath' bit," said Rahve. "Had to hurt, too. Well, maybe." "So, he killed the gargoyle...but what killed him?" Treisel wondered. "Maybe the gargoyle gave him a fatal blow, but he lived long enough to kill the gargoyle in return?" Waj suggested. "No," said Caemryn, "look at this." So saying, she dropped a nearby loose stone on the panel in front of him. A second later, a spike shot up through where the man's gut likely once was. "Floor traps! Of course!" said Iryien. "Eighty percent of the dangerous architecture known today contains some sort of automated defense, with only fifty percent having guardian monsters. The reason is that -" "Monsters die out," said Treisel. "Usually on such traps, or magical wards, or the complete lack of food offered." A pause occured here, which included looks of disbelief. "I couldn't get any sleep that day - the test in Wards and Enchantments I had me worried." Understanding came, and put many at ease...for the time being. "So, we'll have to keep on our toes," said Tao. "Yes," said Rahve, trying not to note the complete, blinding flash of the obvious that was. This _was_ an evil temple, after all. And down the hallway they walked, talking and praying and jumping out of the way of poison arrows as they went. One of the rooms they explored contained a rusty old sword and shield; another, a corpse holding his small pouch of gold coins. Most of the others had stuff that hurt, and was deftly avoided. One such room lay before them, lit up in the corners with some handy methane fuel engineering. A swamp sat in the middle of the room, with clear pools on two sides. In front lay your standard statue, this particular one being of a man...maybe...holding up a large globe. Along the other walls were standard unreadable runes from an earlier age, complete with loads of dust and pictures such as a man with a shortened hammer, a phoenix fighting a dragon, and a turtle with a world on its back. After stepping into the room, and then to the side to dodge the globe as it came off the statue and rolled towards the doorway, they stopped to look around. "Well, there goes the exit," said Rahve. "Any ideas?" "One good Lightning spell should take care of it," said Treisel. "I'm more worried about...er, that...." He pointed up above all the words and pictures to a balcony that had been behind the door. Said balcony was filled with patrons, which, while unusual for an abandoned temple, was perfectly normal for a temple that was actively used in secret by priests and such that didn't like (well-earned, in this case) religious persecution. "INTRUDERS!" called one of them. "GET THEM!" shouted another. "Oh.....................damn," said Treisel. Iryien, drawing her sword, said, "Shouldn't that be -" "Not now," said Treisel, as he started warming up a good batch of flaming magic death. Tao got a safe distance and picked up a long, metal rod in the corner with a little mess of wax melted on the top. While the rest got into some semblance of order, nets dropped from the ceiling, along with sleeping powder and several blunt objects. Iryien found herself the only one left standing. She _knew_ she should've given them a quick overview of her lessons from Melee Combat II. Too late now, however - no, wait.... Caemryn got up, shook off the effects of lingering sleeping powder in the air, and, looking rather annoyed, said, "Blind fools." Beams of light shot out in about four-hundred-odd rays toward the peanut gallery. "Wha...?" "It's a blind spell, multiple targets, medium effect. They'll stumble around for a bit, maybe curse..." - a sickening thud interrupted the sentence briefly - "...and, perhaps, a few of them will fall off the balcony to their death, but, most importantly, they won't harm us. Here, help me wake the others, and we'll continue." Iryien nodded, and gently shook Tao, noticing how cute she looked when asleep. Caemryn sighed quietly, woke Waj and Trei, and Iryien (eventually) went and woke Rahve. "Okay...now, where were we?" said Trei. "Looking for..." Rahve stopped for a second, looking at something on the wall to the right of the big statue. "...this?" Trei looked at it. "Um..." Waj looked at it. "Er, what's it say?" "It's an old language...picked it up in that Secretarial class I took one semester for GPA...." "What's it say?" said Tao. "Oh...well, it's talking about the deposing of some old gods, and a curse." "Go on," said Iryien. "Well, it seems the old gods didn't take well to the new system, let alone that they were getting thrown out due to...lack of worship? Huh...anyway, they particularly laughed at the idea of having evil being represented by a deposed being of good. Such a person would know all the strategies, and, with Good being strict at times, Evil would simply be able to counter what they knew Good did. Of course, the new being in charge, called simply God here, said to them, 'I can not tolerate evil. But, I can do anything. If such is true, then I will triumph.' "They said, 'But, that's a paradox.' "God said, 'No, it is not. For I also know all; I know things that are good that Evil will not be ready for. The Spellbreaker will wreak destruction upon them like a storm; their own powers, powers I once gave them, will bring their end to them all.' "Then they asked about the Spellbreaker. God simply said, 'If I told you, he'd know how to counter it, wouldn't he?' They nodded. They still didn't like the part about getting deposed, though, so they set up a couple of curse traps just to mess with him. One, the Spellbreaker would be from both Good and Evil, that he would know, and reversed; and two, that corruption and use by the Evil would be just as likely as conviction and use by Good. God then laughed, and said, 'Good, then! But, do you not know? Of course not! For, she is the Spellbreaker...but what of the spell?'" "Huh." Triesel rubbed his chin. "So, she's a universe-wide bet?" Rahve blinked. "That'd be an interesting way to put it, but, yeah." "'...but what of the spell?' Any guesses what that means?" asked Tao. Heads shook furiously. One of the heads shaking, it should be noted, was the statue's. It then stood. "YOU! YOU DESECRATE OUR TEMPLE, OUR LAST REMAINS, OUR LAST FOLLOWERS! FOR THIS WE WILL DESTROY YOU ALL, AND THEN LET MAN FEAR AGAIN THE GODS LONG FORGOTTEN!" "I'd say he's mad," said Waj. "I'd say I'm running. Fast," said Rahve. All agreed. Treisel then noticed. "Oh, boulder. One second." He mumbled out a lightning spell, which hit the boulder. The boulder absorbed the blast. "Uh-oh." ______________________________________________________________________ Back at Hesgeynford, Genni was downing an unknown alcoholic beverage when Dr. Bulman stepped into the bar. "Enough, Genni," said Pavel. "We're on our way in a bit; the University has a ship requisitioned for us in the harbor, and they'll be picking up the books on their way by to pay for the voyage. "Whazzzzzzzuuuuuuup?" droned Genni, giggling. "Ahem. *We're* *leaving*." "Oh, ssshhhoorry. Okeeeey, Profffesser, I'm ready-" Suddenly, a large bolt of lightning annihilated the premises. It was a clear day. "WHAT THE-" seemed to be the common question around town at that moment. ______________________________________________________________________ Death just arrived in the arena, when he saw her. The man was dead, so he did his duty first. Then, he looked to make sure he wasn't dreaming. No, wait, he was Death; he didn't dream. He pinched himself anyway, just in case, but, being bone with a cloak around him, it didn't do anything in particular. Still, he felt it, and he was still awake. That was Tao Feymu, if They had the description right. Okay, she's found, Death thought. Now what? Then, he noticed the other deity in the room. If Death could muse, it would muse on the extreme extent that "Now what?" was a good question. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Author's Notes: Well, that's that. That was actually pretty easy to write, which surprised me. With all my newness to this story, I did not expect to have a chapter ready for pre-reading by Wednesday. It may not be quite so Pratchett-like as one might wish (including myself, as I am responsible in that regard), but it'll do quite nicely. Thanks to Steven Scougall for both pre-reading and starting this thing; thanks to The Black Snotling for both pre-reading and doing the next chapter in the face of small gods...[author ducks blunt objects]...and thanks to Wanderer, for allowing the pre-reading to take place on the Ballad of Shame and Wasted Lives (http://network54.com/Hide/Forum/15388 = shameless plug, yes) and setting me up so nicely. Snotters, it's all yours. Nicholas Eckert vidstudent vidstudent@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/vidstudent/