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                    TO HELL AND BACK

    Chapter 1 - And From Endings Came A New Beginning

        Original Concept by Steven Scougall, 1999
              This part by Steven Scougall
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Treisel Arrayarli had to write a thesis.

He'd had a lot of good ideas about what it could be on.  All the theses 
he'd heard about had sounded extremely stupid, and had topics like the 
theoretical trajectory of golf balls in a lunar environment, or the 
migratory habits of flying elephants.  So he'd decided to do something 
different.

Unfortunately, Dr. Pfhizzitd, his supervisor, had turned down all his 
suggestions.  His first, "Having fun with levitation" had been turned 
down in just three seconds.  His second, "Practical uses of x-ray 
vision" had been turned down in four.  It was quite disheartening, 
really.  Didn't the old goat recognise a great idea when he heard one?

Then he'd worked out the language his supervisor spoke and had 
suggested "Common aspects of lightning spells in the magical systems of 
Zinnonth", which was slightly better in that it had been turned down in 
thirty minutes - a vast improvement.  The groundbreaking implications 
of "Research into earthquakes and the magic to suppress them" had been 
ignored;  the old goat had then muttered something about 'safe 
research.'

There had been many weeks of protest in much the same vein.  Treisel 
would suggest a topic and Pfhizzitd would nearly have a heart attack, 
and then uncategorically refuse before suggesting something 
tremendously boring, such as "The common thaumic modulation of the 
syllable 'felm' in the greater magical paradigms of Zinnonth."

But the two had finally decided on a topic that Dr. Pfhizzitd had 
thought was sensible and safe enough, and Treisel thought was at least 
halfway interesting.

He was going to write about "The implications of Faster Than Very Fast 
Speeds when measured relative to each other."  Pfhizzitd said the 
implications could dramatically increase the boundaries of human 
understanding;  Treisel accepted the old man's proposal because it 
meant he got to fly around on magic carpets at exhilarating speeds fast 
enough to cover half the continent in just a few hours.

The issue of the topic thus resolved, a wary truce had settled between 
the two.  They kept this truce by devoting much of their time and 
effort into avoiding each other as much as possible.  Which suited 
Treisel just fine.  Pfhizzitd was so incredibly boring and restrictive.  
Hopefully, he'd only have to see the old goat a couple of times, 
towards the end of the three years he had to write the thing.

But until then, he was free.  Free to do what he wanted, and enjoy all 
the benefits that being a PhD student at the Great Zinnonthian 
University's highly esteemed Faculty of Magic would bring.

He was FREE -

He had to submit a first draft in a week's time.

He stared, blinking, at the calendar he'd just unpacked and was about 
to hang on the wall of his dorm room.

He'd been doing this for just one semester so far and they wanted him 
to submit a 10,000 word first draft?  Didn't they know that went 
against the whole idea of a thesis?  Didn't they know that the entire 
essence of being a PhD student was that you handed in only one thing, 
and that was at the end of the three-year haul?  Didn't they know 
ANYTHING?

There was a knocking at his door.

Grumbling imprecations and curses under his breath he went to answer 
it.

It was Tao Feymu.  She was wearing her usual simple clothes, glasses, 
and frizzy braid.  As her appearance suggested, she was a slightly 
mousy undergraduate, and she'd started at the Faculty of Magic just 
last semester.  One day the two had just started talking - he could no 
longer remember how that had happened - and they'd become reasonably 
good friends since then.

Despite her bookish attitude, enthusiasm for learning, and excellent 
grasp of theory, she was never very good at actual practical magic.  
For some reason she could never quite control it correctly.  So it had 
been quite a surprise to see her back for the second semester - 
apparently she'd aced the theory questions on the first semester 
finals, and the Faculty had suggested that she go into theoretical 
research.

She hadn't been happy with that, as she'd told him on more than one 
occasion that she'd always wanted to become a great sorcerer, and the 
Facluty's suggestion had dulled her usual happy disposition.  Even 
here, right now, she looked glum.

Trying to lift her spirits, he grinned his best disarming grin.  "Hey, 
Tao, what's up?"

She sighed.  "It's your supervisor, Dr. Pfhizzitd, again.  He wants to 
see you in his office in a couple of hours."

He rolled his eyes.  "I'm NOT surprised.  I just got a nasty reminder 
that I have a first draft due in a couple of weeks.  No doubt old 
Fizzit wants to see me about that."

She giggled nervously, as she always did when he called his supervisor 
'Fizzit'.

"Anyway, thanks Tao, I'd better get myself ready for the meeting.  Ta."

"See you..."

"Yeah, seeya."

She turned to go and he closed the door, and frowned.  A meeting with 
old Fizzit in just a couple of hours.  To see how his first draft was 
going, no doubt.  He *knew* it wasn't going to go well, because he 
hadn't actually written anything yet.  True, he had done some research, 
but Fizzit would say it was nowhere near enough.  He grimaced.  He was 
NOT looking forward to this afternoon's meeting.

   * * * * *

Tao went only a couple of steps, and then turned and looked at 
Treisel's door half-expectantly.  Surely he would suddenly understand 
all the subtle hints she'd been dropping since the second day she had 
seen him.  He would open the door and be framed dramatically by the 
light, and claim that she was the only one for him.

She stood there looking for a couple of minutes before deciding that 
no, he wouldn't be doing that today either.  She sighed dejectedly, and 
continued down the hallway.

It was always the same.  She wore her best clothes, the rose tinted 
glasses, and let her hair out of its usual severe bun, laughed when he 
joked about Dr. Pfhizzitd's name, did her best to tell him she was 
interested...

None of her friends had this sort of problem with men.  But they were 
the sort that wore really small skirts, bared their stomachs and just 
about everything else as well, and the men were falling over each other 
trying to get at them.  Why, Musca even dyed her hair blue, green, and 
yellow.

Tao could NEVER bring herself to do something outlandish like that.

If only she wasn't so *shy*.  If she was just a bit more forward... 
just a bit nervier...  Then perhaps she could bring herself to tell 
him...

She sighed and continued down the hallway, feeling miserable.

This was nothing new.  She'd been feeling miserable ever since the 
beginning of the first semester.  Treisel's continuing blindness was 
only part of it - there was her continuing inability to actually 
perform magic.  No matter how much she tried, no matter how well she 
studied the theory, no matter how perfectly she visualised the intended 
effect in her mind, it never quite came out right.

When she tried levitation she flew sideways into the wall.  When she 
tried divination the only things she ever saw in the scrying crystal 
were embarrassing incidents from her past.  When she tried lifting 
things with just her mind they spun around in circles and sometimes 
turned into confused birds.  The one time she'd tried teleporting, she 
and half her bed had ended up a hundred meters above the Faculty of 
Heroism's swimming pool.

And when she stepped up to the firing range, people dove for cover.

It was all so disheartening...

She wanted to be a great sorcerer, had wanted to for as long as she 
could remember.  But the way things were going the best she'd ever 
manage was a Theoretical Researcher.

There was no justice in the world.

She pulled herself out of the familiar thoughts before they got much 
more depressing, and checked the nearest chronostone.

That was another thing.  She could never wear a portable chronostone, 
they always became wildly inaccurate after only a day or two.  She 
always had to go by public ones, and sometimes there wasn't one handy.  
A minor matter compared to everything else, but it was just another 
thing in the long list of life's annoyances...

She couldn't afford to let the depressing thoughts get her down.  She 
savagely fought them back, and forced her attention back to the hall's 
chronostone and the numbers it displayed.  It was ten minutes to noon, 
and she had a tutorial in just a little while.  She hurried back to her 
room to get her books and over to the classroom, walked in early -

There was a class already there - somehow, in her dour mood, she hadn't 
noticed. But that wasn't what really caught her attention.  No, the 
first thing she noticed was the tutor flying screaming through the 
closed window.  The second thing she noticed was a fire breaking out on 
the desk at the front of the room.

"FIRE!" she screamed, and instinctively cast a Water spell.

As usual, it didn't work.  Instead of the localised deluge of water 
onto the fire she wanted, water flew from her in all directions, along 
with clouds, wind currents, and even a lightning bolt or two.

A student yelped in panic as an arc of lightning came close enough to 
him to rip his hat from his head.  He gestured at the sudden storm, 
shouting arcane and mystical words.  In response, a lightning bolt 
split into several, which arced around the room, smashing chairs and 
desks into smithereens.  A student just next to Tao screamed and fell, 
several wooden splinters in her back.

By now everybody in the room was screaming and jumping out the windows 
or running out the door, the magic alarms were blaring, and the room 
was a big mess of confused noise.

A few enterprising students had stayed behind and tried to dispel the 
storm with their best magic, but their efforts weren't working.  If 
anything, they seemed to be making things worse.

Another lightning bolt flared into existence, smashed into a stray 
spellbook, and there was an almighty explosion.  The rain and the 
flames fought for supremacy, there was a sizzling noise and smoke was 
everywhere.  Triggered by the smoke, the fire alarms finally went off, 
their klaxons adding to the general noise and chaos.

The doors slammed open and the University's Emergency Squad dashed into 
the room, just in time for the fire alarms to trigger their rain 
spells.  But instead of falling from the roof, huge geysers of water 
flew from every conceivable surface in every conceivable direction.

The water kept on coming for a few moments, with no sign of it letting 
up.

"ENOUGH!" screamed Dr. Bulman, the leader of the Emergency Squad.  He 
raised his hands and shouted mystical and arcane words at the top of 
his voice, and the chaos instantly stopped.

"A Dispel Magic spell...  A really high level one..." breathed the same 
student from before.

Water cascading over the brim of his wizardly hat, the wizard glowered 
at the few students remaining in the room.  "WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!?" he 
screamed at them, his face purple with anger.

Tao and the students started babbling, scared out of their skulls and 
into inanity.

"It was her!"

"I just walked in!"

"Dr. Shimsen was demonstrating Levitation and then he suddenly flew 
sideways out the window!"

"And then a desk caught fire!"

"Get Lenna to the infirmary, quick!  She's hurt!"

"And then she started screaming and cast a huge storm to take care of 
it!"

"I just cast a simple Water spell!"

"Looked more like a Storm spell to me!"

"Vektor turned a lightning bolt into six!"

"I was trying to stop it!  But instead it split!"

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

The students instantly stopped their chatter, feeling very small indeed 
in the face of Dr. Bulman's ire.

"Now," he said grimly, "you are going to stop babbling and you are 
going to tell me what happened.  Slowly, and from the top.  Cooperate 
and we have the least amount of unpleasantness."

The students gulped nervously, loud enough for Tao to hear them.

   * * * * *

Treisel seemingly dragged himself along the hallway, somehow managed to 
open his door, staggered a couple more steps and crashed onto his bed.

The meeting with Dr. Pfhizzitd had NOT gone well.  As Treisel had 
thought, he wasn't happy with Treisel's progress.  Much to the 
displeasure of both, Pfhizzitd had scheduled half-weekly updates until 
he was sure Treisel was back on track, and had grudgingly given him a 
week's extension for the first draft.

And even though it was a first draft the standards weren't much laxer.  
No, Treisel had to write at least 10,000 words.

He could clearly remember Pfizzitd's explanation - "Most of what's in 
the first draft will probably be cut from the final version.  You need 
as much as possible."

Treisel didn't believe it for a second.  But his supervisor was the one 
calling the shots, and Treisel didn't have a choice.

How was he supposed to write a 10,000 word first draft in just two 
weeks?

"That's not my problem," the old goat had said, "*I'm* not the one 
who's writing this thesis, boy.  Now get cracking.  You've got two 
weeks."

Treisel ran a few calculations in his head to work out what writing 
speed he would need to write that many words in two weeks, assuming he 
needed to sleep.  Once he got the answer he realised he'd spent ten 
words worth of time on what was likely a flawed calculation.

And he'd only done the most basic research so far, too.  He'd need to 
do some more, too.

What the hell was he going to DO?

He lay there for an hour, staring at the ceiling, trying to work out 
what could be done.  Never mind the fact that he was wasting valuable 
writing time.  But despite an hour of almost constant thought, he 
couldn't think of anything...

He sat up on the edge of the bed and looked around his room, looking 
for inspiration.

His posters of popular bards were no help.  If anything, they were just 
more distractions.  His desk held no clues.  The chronostone above the 
door just glowed slightly, the numbers in it showing that it was late 
afternoon - no help there.

His roving gaze found his bookcase.  Briefly he wondered if there was 
anything in "The Amazing and Improbable Adventures of Smith Yintana" 
that applied to this sort of situation, and then dismissed the idea.  
While Yintana was a learned academic, there was nothing in any of the 
twenty volumes about his actual PhD days.

His attention wandered on and then stopped.

His bookcase.

With the more useful textbooks and notes from his undergraduate days on 
the lowest shelf, behind the tacky magazines.

Including all his old spellbooks.

His attention dragged itself back to the bookcase.

An idea came to him, slowly.  It was simple and it would solve a lot of 
the problems in just a couple of nights, too.  But he thought slowly 
and hesitantly - to actually pull this crazy idea off he'd need to use 
a *lot* of magic, and he'd have no room for error.

It also meant he'd be cheating.  No, not just cheating, it'd be worse 
than just cheating.  If he got caught, being expelled was the best he 
could expect.  He didn't want to think about what the worst could be.

But what else could he do?

Well, he could be honest and do his best to write 10,000 words in two 
weeks.  He mulled that over, considered his options and eventually 
reached a decision.

   * * * * *

Being the Chancellor of the Great Zinnonthian University was not an 
easy job.  The University had fifty faculties and an average of ten 
departments in each faculty.  Half the faculties deeply distrusted the 
other half, and interfaculty warfare wasn't just common, but expected.

In addition, the campus was enormous, in order to accommodate 
approximately five hundred departments, and the groundskeeping staff 
was similarly enormous, with a very high turnover rate caused by 
magical accidents and the occasional interfaculty warfare.  The 
canteens strained to meet up with demand of the staff, students, and 
occasional many-toothed green monsters who had been created by the 
aforementioned magical accidents and wanted a chicken sandwich.

To top it all off, there was also the surrounding town of Zinnonea, and 
its council was always complaining about how an institution the 
University's size should be paying much more tax.  They never minded 
the fact that the original reason for the town's existence was the 
University and that without it the town would be much less important.

The effect, thought Chancellor Feyluck Hatstring, was much like trying 
to control six hundred self-important young children, each trying to 
shout the loudest, and each wanting more pocket money.

Feyluck Hatstring wasn't his real name, of course.  He was from the 
Illylyawamal valley, and his name was really Pbvheywlliuhcqkwe 
Hattdhessztryinggnkgywe - a fine old Illylyawamalese name.  However, 
this was the most unpronounceable name in the entire Great Zinnonthian 
University, and nobody on his staff could ever pronounce it properly.  
He'd told his staff his nickname - Pbvheiy - but nobody had been able 
to pronounce that properly, either.

So instead of stumbling around the vagaries of Illylyawamelese 
pronunciation, people had suited his name to their own pronunciation 
and started calling him Chancellor Hatstring.  His first name followed 
the same route shortly after and became Feyluck.  He'd protested, at 
first.  But that had been long ago.  He now accepted the change, even 
to the point where he sometimes signed official documents with the 
simplified name.

"Chancellor Hatstring?"  It was his secretary, poking her head into his 
office.

"Yes?  What is it?"

"It's Dr. Zerev.  He says it's urgent."

Chancellor Hatstring pursed his lips thoughtfully.  Dr. Zerev was the 
head of the Faculty of Magic, easily the most powerful faculty of the 
entire university.  It was so powerful and so influential in the 
University that most Chancellors were drawn from it.  Annoying its 
director was not a good idea.  And anyway, Hatstring knew the man well, 
from his own student days - Zerev wasn't one to embellish his 
statements.  If he said that something was urgent, it was something 
that had to be seen to right away.

"Send Zerev in," he instructed.  "Tell the Head of the Faculty of 
Dentistry that he'll have to wait."

"Yessir," she said, and retracted her head.  It opened a moment later 
and Zerev came through, a dejected looking young woman walking in 
behind him.

"So, Zerev.  Tell me what's so important."

"I'm sure you remember... ah... *those* accidents that we've been 
having ever since the beginning of this year."

"The ones where many tentacled monsters keep on appearing at the top of 
the Tower and head straight for the womens' bathrooms?"

"Ah... no.  Not those.  We're still trying to work out what's causing 
those ones."

"Then are they the ones where students mysteriously disappear into the 
depths of one of the libraries and show up a few days later, saying 
they've been in an alternate world for months?"

"Um, no, not those ones, either.  No, I mean the ones where tutorials 
and spell demonstrations in lectures have gone awry, and the tutors and 
lecturers responsible have sworn blind they didn't do anything."

"Oh, *those* ones."  Chancellor Hatstring remembered those.  They were 
quite irritating, for even when subjected to heavy questioning the 
lecturers and tutors stuck to their story.  And when asked to perform 
the spell that had gone wrong, they could always perform them without a 
problem.  It was almost certainly not them, but if it wasn't them, then 
what was causing the accidents?

Intuition, coupled with the immediate facts, suggested that the young 
woman with Zerev was the one responsible.  He nodded towards her.  
"This is the girl responsible?"

"Well, after a fashion, she is."

"Expel her at once then."  He glared at the girl, who shrank back from 
his gaze in fear.  "Young lady, this is the last time you'll make a 
mockery of-"

"Ah, that's not quite it, Chancellor."

Hatstring blinked audibly.  "Would you care to explain?"

"It might be better if I give a demonstration, first.  It'll be easier 
to understand, then."  The head of the Faculty of Magic reached into 
his robe and pulled out a metal bar.  "Have a look at this."

Hatstring took the bar.  As he had been selected for the Chancellorship 
from the Faculty of Magic, he could instantly recognise the magical 
energies inside the metal and what they meant.  The bar was an old 
style magical thaumometer - the size and colour of the bar changed to 
reflect the level of the surrounding magical field.  If it was blue and 
small, then there was very little magic in the area.  On the other 
extreme if the bar was red and larger than a brick, it meant that you 
should be running for the hills before a stray magical current turned 
you into a newt.

But old style thaumometers like this were never completely accurate and 
were very hard to read.  Some time ago a research team from the Faculty 
of Magic had developed a better design, where there was a needle that 
pointed to a wheel of numbers, and stronger magical fields pushed the 
needle further to the right.  The newer style thaumometers were more 
accurate and easier to read, and the old style had all but died out.

Chancellor Hatstring hmmphed and placed the bar back onto his desk.  
"So it's an old style magical thaumometer.  Why don't you go with one 
of the more recent ones?  Those are better."

"Ah, but they can't do this."  Zerev took the bar back and tossed it 
gently to the young girl, but she made no move to catch it.

When the bar was ten feet away from the girl it suddenly slewed to the 
side at incredible speed, then abruptly changed course and spun rapidly 
around her for a few moments.  With a suddenness that left him gasping, 
it stopped dead in front of her, and he could see that the bar had 
turned into a sphere sometime during its wild flight.

As Hatstring watched in stunned amazement the sphere became a fork, a 
spoon, a rake, and for a very brief moment it was a confused frog, and 
then the frog was a sphere again.  It slowly elongated into the shape 
of a cylinder, slowly spiraling outwards as it changed.

Without warning it started hurtling around the girl in completely 
unpredictable patterns.  Sometimes it stopped long enough for Zerev and 
Hatstring to see that it had changed shape again.  One moment it was a 
coil, another it was a lamp, another it was a bird, another it was a 
full size desk, causing the girl to go 'eep!' and duck her head as it 
hurtled past and smashed a picture hanging on the wall.  Hatstring 
winced - that had been a favorite of his.

"Very interesting Zerev, but stop that damn thing before it ruins any 
more of my office."

The thaumometer was now a chair hanging ponderously in the air in front 
of the girl.

"Yes, Chancellor.  Miss Feymu," called Zerev, "step away from it now, 
while it's stationary."

"Yes, Dr. Zerev," she said miserably, and stepped away.  Just as she 
did so the thaumometer-turned-chair changed into a duck.  It dropped to 
the floor and quacked a couple of times.

"They always seem to settle on ducks," said Zerev musingly.

The duck quacked forlornly a couple of times, and then waddled over to 
Hatstring's desk and jumped, wings flapping madly, up onto the top of 
it.  Hatstring slowly edged away - his experience with animals was 
limited to dead ones at dinner, and he wasn't quite sure how to deal 
with a real live duck right in front of him like this.

It quacked a couple more times.  If Hatstring was any judge of avian 
expressions, the duck was quite thoroughly confused.  Alright, he 
thought, I don't blame it if it's confused, it was a thaumometer not 
too long ago...

It quacked yet again.  This time, however, there was smoke coming from 
its bill.

"It's happening again!  DOWN!  UNDER THE DESK!" screamed Zerev, as he 
and Tao dove behind the sofa.

Hatstring didn't need to be told twice - showing remarkable strength 
and agility for a man of his age, he kicked his chair away and rolled 
under his desk.  And not a moment too soon - there was a muffled 
explosion, and then there were feathers and paperwork floating 
everywhere.

There was a slapping noise, followed closely by Zerev saying "OW!" and 
then by the girl shouting "Get OFF me, old pervert," her voice muffled 
and full of acid.

Hatstring emerged from under his desk in time to see Zerev hastily jump 
to his feet, mumbling apologies as he went.  Hatstring ignored the head 
of the Faculty of Magic, however, as his attention was focussed on his 
office.

It was a mess.  Paper and feathers were everywhere - on the carpet, in 
the bookshelves, in the lamp and there were even a couple comically 
sticking out of Zerev's hair.  What was left of the duck was a red 
splatter all over his desk.  His priceless, Illylyawamalese oak, desk.  
He saw red, which wasn't just the duck's blood.

"My DESK!  That damn thing just ruined my desk!"

"Sorry, sir," said Zerev.  "I didn't think it would do that again."

"What do you mean by 'again'?" he raged.  "You KNEW this would happen?"

"I didn't think it would happen so soon after the last time.  It makes 
sense for it to be as random as possible."

"Zerev," said Hatstring dangerously, "would you mind telling me what 
the hell you're talking about?"

"It's quite simple, really," said the director of the Faculty of Magic.  
"Miss Feymu here has an aura of magical disruption around her.  As you 
can see, it's not just the usual case where the magic flows are 
reversed.  Her distortion effect causes random and bizarre mutations of 
the magical field.  Shapechanging, direction changes, and so on and so 
forth.

"We theorise that it might be some sort of protection.  After all, if a 
fireball cast at her turns into a confused duck, it can't hurt her.  We 
aren't sure, however, and we are further confounded by the fact that 
Miss Feymu cannot remember anything that would have caused this effect.  
Our preliminary studies indicate that it is not a fundamental part of 
her - in other words, it was forced on her, probably a long time ago.  
That would be consistent with her not being able to remember what could 
have caused it."

"Interesting," Hatstring said, once Zerev had finished his explanatory 
exposition.  He sat back in his chair, placed his feet on his desk, and 
chewed his lip as he thought about this development.

Auras that disrupted the magical flow were not that uncommon.  However, 
most of the time they were a simple reversal of the magical field, and 
once the magic user discovered that he or she had such an aura it was 
easily compensated for;  they just cast their magic in reverse.  There 
were some rare cases of sideways distortion, which was a lot harder to 
account for, but still possible.  There had even once been a case where 
a student had a distortion field that turned all his spells into Change 
To Frog spells.  The student was still trying to work out a way around 
it, but at least the effect was regular.

Miss Feymu's wasn't.  Hers was random, something which had never been 
seen before.  And Hatstring wasn't sure if there was anything the girl 
could do about it.

Why did she have it?  Zerev had indicated that it had been forced on 
her.  But the girl couldn't remember anything that would have caused 
it.  Either she had blocked out the experience - which was quite 
possible, inflicting a magic distortion effect on someone was traumatic 
indeed.  Or it had been done long ago, when she was just a small child.

But who would DO such a thing?  And WHY?

That was something he could worry about later.  For now, he had Policy 
to Make.  And he could think of something right away - there was a 
spell that couldn't possibly be distorted.

"Zerev, I want you to go and teach Miss Feymu the most powerful Dispel 
Magic spell the Faculty knows.  Her distortion field won't be able to 
affect that."  On the periphery of his vision he could see the girl 
brighten up.  "And then come back..." he checked his calendar.  "Come 
back tomorrow afternoon, once I've had time to work out what to do 
about this."

"Shall I bring her along?"

"That would be a good idea."

"Right, Chancellor."  Zerev turned to go.  "Come on, Miss Feymu, let us 
go.  We have a spell for me to teach and for you to learn."

   * * * * *

Treisel needed a book.

It wasn't just any book.  It was a very specific and very magical one.  
And there was only the original - because of its nature, copies of it 
simply couldn't be made.  And precisely because it was so dangerous and 
so magical it was held in the maximum security vaults of the Faculty of 
Magic's library.

The very library he was currently standing outside.

From his furtive manner and the fact that it was the middle of the 
night, it might be guessed that Treisel wasn't going to borrow it 
legally.  No, if he'd gone in during normal borrowing hours and asked 
to borrow it, its existence would be denied and he'd be laughed out of 
the building.  Even if they took him seriously, they'd want to know why 
he wanted it, and then there'd be trouble.

Treisel looked nervously from side to side, made sure nobody was 
watching, and muttered a few words of power under his breath.

There, that should take care of the alarms on the window.  He jumped up 
and scrambled through it, using magic to unlock the window as he went, 
and dropped noiselessly to the floor below.

After a nerve-wracking hour, during which he expended a lot of magic on 
detecting and deactivating the alarms, occasional guards, and the 
guards' magical protection, he scrambled back out the window.  Slowly, 
as if fearing that going quickly would reveal his presence, he eased up 
on the magic that was silencing the alarms.

There.  All the alarms were working again, and none of them had gone 
off when he'd started them up again.   And if the vault was as unused 
as the dust on the floor had seemed to indicate, nobody would be going 
in there for a while, and so wouldn't notice that the book was missing.

Good god, he was tired.  He'd been expending so much magic in there...  
He  tried not to slump to the ground and fall asleep.  He had to get 
back to his room before collapsing - being discovered out here in the 
morning would waste all his efforts.

With the last of his fading strength, he muttered the words to a 
Rejuvenate spell.  A moment passed, during which he thought he'd 
miscast the spell for sure, and then he felt energy running back into 
him, along his limbs, firing his brain back into gear.

There.  He'd be able to last a few more hours.  He quickly picked up 
the book where he'd dropped it, clutched it to his chest like the prize 
it was, and hurried back to his room, being as quiet and stealthy as 
possible.  He slipped up the stairs, padded quietly along the hallway, 
noiselessly unlocked his door, carefully opened it, ducked inside his 
room, and slowly closed the door again.

He fought a sudden irrational urge to dance around cheering for a job 
well done.  That would ruin everything he'd just worked for.

He had it, he had the BOOK!

It was, if the rumors were true, the Book of all Books.  It was a 
stupendously magical tome and contained every book that had ever been 
written, was being written, and would be written.  It contained all the 
books that might have been, all those that the authors gave up on 
halfway through, but in what their full form would have been.

It was a rather boring red colour and looked like it had only a few 
pages.

However, Treisel knew that in this case appearances were deceiving.  
Oh, were they ever deceiving.

He looked at the Book thoughtfully.  On its cover was a simple title - 
"The Book of Books."  Curious, he flipped through its few pages, and as 
he did so his mouth dropped open.

In its few pages there was a simple user manual.  Everything he needed 
to know about working the Book and even a troubleshooting section at 
the back.  He quickly read through it, gleaning as much information as 
he could, and then closed it with a decisive snap.

He held it up in front of him and said "I would like my thesis on 'The 
implications of Faster Than Very Fast Speeds when measured relative to 
each other.'"

The Book remained unchanged.  Cursing quietly, he opened it to go 
through the troubleshooting section again.  But he didn't get any 
further than the first page - it had changed and now had a paragraph or 
two politely explaining that an error had occurred and perhaps he 
hadn't quite asked the right question.  Treisel cursed again - he 
thought he'd been quite specific.

He closed the Book and tried again.  "I, Treisel Arrayarli, would like 
the full thesis I write on 'The implications of Faster Than Very Fast 
Speeds when measured relative to each other.'"

The Book completely failed to morph into a nice fat book that easily 
contained at least 10,000 words.  He opened it and saw that it had 
exactly the same error message from before.

What was going on?  Why wasn't it giving him his thesis?  Was it 
because he never actually wrote it?  But that was *insane.*  According 
to the way the Book worked, if he even had the merest of intentions to 
write it, even if he wrote just *one* word, the Book *had* to give him 
his full thesis.  And he *did* have full intention to write the stupid 
thing - it was why he'd risked stealing the Book in the first place.  
He reverted the Book back to its usual self and checked through the 
troubleshooting section again, but it was no help at all.

He closed the Book and tried a slightly different approach.  "I, 
Treisel Arrayarli, would like my research for my thesis on 'The 
implications of Faster Than Very Fast Speeds when measured relative to 
each other' in a nicely summarised format."

The Book flickered again and the title changed to what he had 
requested.  But it was only about a hundred pages long.

Only a hundred?  That was nowhere near enough research for a 10,000 
word thesis...

Feeling increasingly nervous, Treisel opened the Book to see what it 
contained.

It wasn't much.  Most of the pages were filled with the methods he'd 
tried and the results he'd gotten so far.  But on the last couple of 
pages there was something new - a hastily scribbled incantation that he 
didn't recognise.  There were no notes on what the results of the spell 
were.

What the hell was going on?  How did one simple spell constitute all 
the further research he did for his research?

He should have thought more about things, and studied the spell a bit 
further.  And normally he would have.  But in his agitated state he let 
things get the better of him.  Perhaps it was just his nervousness.  
Maybe the artificial stimulation of the Rejuvenate spell was messing up 
his thinking slightly.  Whatever the reason, he followed the directions 
and chanted words he didn't recognise.

For a moment nothing happened.

Then there was a faint pop and a demonic figure that looked as if it 
came from the depths of Hell (which was quite a coincidence) appeared 
in the middle of his room, a trident held threateningly in one hand.

At the same time every single alarm in the building went off.

Treisel's stomach filled with dread.  It was all clear now.  He 
summoned the demon to ask it questions about the implications of Faster 
Than Very Fast Speeds when measured relative to each other, and its 
presence set off the alarms.  The Faculty's Emergency Squad identified 
what set off the alarms and broke into his room -

Right on cue, the Emergency Squad broke down his door, their staffs 
pointed at everything in sight.

- he was discovered with the Book -

Bulman, the leader of the Emergency Squad, saw the Book in Treisel's 
hand and his eyes widened, and then narrowed.  "Let me see that!" he 
shouted, swiping it from Treisel's unresisting hand, and quickly 
flicked through the pages.  "God Almighty, this is The Book!  You're 
going DOWN, sonny!" he roared into Treisel's face.

- and he went down in flames.  Was expelled, to be specific -

"First thing in the morning, you're seeing Chancellor Hatstring!  
You'll be lucky if you're just expelled!" shouted the leader, right on 
cue.

- and thus he never even started his thesis, explaining why The Book 
couldn't pick it up, and he never did any more research for The Book to 
pick out of the literary dimensions.

"But for now, you're going into the cells," said Bulman, grimly.

Treisel sighed and slumped.  It was all clear, now.

"Hey, what's going on here?" asked the demon.

   * * * * *

It was some time later.

"Hi," said the demon amiably.

"Go away," said Treisel.

"You know I can't," it said reasonably.

Treisel groaned again, and tried to get comfortable.  This was 
difficult.  Cells weren't typically designed for comfort, and this one 
- a magically reinforced cell in the maximum security lockup of the 
University - was no exception.

There was a pause, during which Treisel and the demon could hear the 
sounds of fighting coming from a nearby cell.  That would be the party 
of drunken brawling louts from the Faculty of Adventurers that had been 
brought in a couple of hours back.  All they had to worry about the 
next morning was some verbal abuse from their tutors.

Treisel thought about what he was going to go through the next morning, 
and felt very very sorry for himself indeed.

"I'm Wajissabequahze," said the demon.

This was a sufficiently weird enough comment for Treisel to sit up and 
take notice.  "Huh?  What's wajass-"

"It's my name," it said.  "Wajissabequahze.  What's yours?"

Treisel groaned, and slumped again.  The demon was just trying to be 
friendly, again.

"I mean, I know your name's Treisel, because it got shouted a lot while 
we were being taken here, but that's not a proper introduction.  I just 
thought that if you were going to be getting me back to Hell, it'd help 
if we knew who each other was."

Treisel groaned, yet again.

The demon had touched on yet another sore point of this entire mess.  
Not only had he accidentally summoned a mildly ineffectual demon, been 
caught in possession with The Book, and was going to be expelled, if he 
was lucky, there was also the fact that the demon had been stranded 
here in the mortal realm by its so called 'friends' as a practical 
joke.  And as Wajissabequahze's Summoner Treisel had the responsibility 
of getting it back to Hell.

Some god somewhere must be having a great big laugh at his expense.
  
He muttered darkly, and tried to get comfortable again.

There was nothing, now.  His life, after he got expelled and turned 
out, wouldn't be worth much more than a puff of marsh gas.  He knew his 
parents too well - they wouldn't be helping him out, oh no, they'd be 
furious.  He wouldn't be able to even set foot in his hometown without 
something bad happening, possibly with spikes.

He had about enough money to buy a day's worth of food.  He wouldn't be 
able to go very far on just that.  And where was he going to get more 
money?  The employment prospects for expelled students were so slim 
they were practically nonexistent.

And that's if he was just expelled.  Nobody had ever said what the 
University might do that was worse than being expelled, and Treisel 
hoped he wasn't going to find out.

And to top it all off this cell had no amenities - it was just a room 
of uncomfortable bare rock.  No matter how much he squirmed against the 
walls, he couldn't get comfortable.  Perhaps they were deliberately 
keeping him awake all night before he saw the Chancellor.

Going by what he knew about the bullheaded Bulman, Treisel didn't doubt 
that possibility for a second.

   * * * * *

It was the next morning.  Or, in Treisel's case, later the same day.

Tao was virtually skipping along the corridor.

Alright, when she got down to the heart of the matter, nothing much had 
really changed.  She still had that distortion effect in her aura, and 
she didn't know how to get around it.  But the main thing was that she 
now knew it was there.  Now she knew why she couldn't do magic very 
well.  Also, she'd learned a really high level Dispel Magic spell.  
Alright, so she couldn't cast it very well at the moment - she still 
needed practical experience - but at last there was a magic spell she 
could perform.  Plus it was a Dispel Magic spell, one of the more 
useful ones.

She was going to see Chancellor Hatstring later today - surely he'd 
worked out something that could be done.  She wondered for a brief 
moment if he was going to send her off to some other university or 
something to get rid of her, but then dismissed the idea.  The 
Chancellor, by reputation, looked out for every single one of his 
students.  There were at least half a million of them, so he obviously 
couldn't look out for them individually, but at least he did so in 
spirit - Tao had experienced some of it yesterday.

She had to go tell Treisel about all this.  He'd be amazed to hear that 
she'd finally worked out why she couldn't do magic properly.  Maybe 
even... just perhaps... he'd feel happy for her.  He'd sweep her off 
her feet and look deeply into her eyes and... and...

Tao started to feel uncomfortably hot and just a little bit foolish, 
and it seemed that ever her glasses were fogging up.  She adjusted her 
clothing slightly, rubbed the fog from her glasses, and continued down 
the hallway, trying to banish all thoughts of how Treisel might react.

After what seemed like an eternity, she was outside his door.  She 
knocked loudly, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Go 'way," came Treisel's voice.

Tao's eyes widened - his voice was nothing like its usual happy tone.  
It was sullen, dejected, morose, and lots of other unhappy adjectives.

"Treisel," she called softly, "it's me, Tao."

"Who's Tao?" came an undoubtedly male voice, with a hint of gruffness.

There was the sound of footsteps and then the door opened.

Treisel was a mess.  His appearance was shoddy - nothing like the usual 
smart and clearcut figure he usually represented.  His hair was dirty 
and straggly, his face was haggard and his eyes were red - almost as if 
he'd been crying?

"Oh my god, Treisel, what happened?"  Her gaze widened, and she saw 
that his room was filled with boxes, and that he looked like he'd been 
interrupted in the middle of packing.  On top of that, there was a male 
figure sitting on Treisel's bed - but it couldn't possibly be human.  
Humans, after all, generally didn't have flame-red skin, pointed ears, 
spiked tails, and little horns on their forehead.  Not unless they were 
dressing up, that is.  Tao immediately discounted that possibility.

A demon in Treisel's room and he was packing, so soon after the start 
of second semester.  There could only be one explanation...

He must have noticed her shocked expression, for he then said, quite 
unnecessarily, "I've been expelled."

"But... but... WHY?  Why did you Summon a demon?"

"I wasn't planning to," said Treisel.  "Please, come in, I don't want 
everybody to be able to hear us."

She was being invited into his room.  Normally she would be so excited 
and giddy with the prospect she wouldn't be able to think and would 
make a complete and utter fool of herself.  But in this situation being 
alone with him was the furthest thing from her mind.

Once the door was shut she almost shouted.  "What on earth made you 
Summon a demon?  Don't you know that's really illegal according to 
GZU's rules?"

"It was by accident!" he protested.  "I wasn't trying to summon one, it 
just happened to be the spell in the -" he then faltered, and stopped.

He was hiding something.  "You're hiding something," she said.

"Yes, I am," he sighed.  "And when I tell you what you're going to 
think I'm the lowest of the low."

No, don't tell me, don't ruin my perception of you, she said, but only 
inside her head.  Something, maybe her shyness or possibly her 
curiosity, stopped her from saying it.

Treisel went on.  He explained how he'd got the idea of 'borrowing' The 
Book so he could see his thesis before he actually wrote it, how he'd 
stumbled across the demon summoning spell, and how he'd been caught 
both with The Book and a demon in his room.  As he went, Tao's feelings 
sank further and further.  This was the man she l... really liked, and 
to think that she felt that way about someone who would cheat like 
that...

And, the weirdest thing about it all was that she still wanted t... she 
still l... really liked him.  She felt that perhaps she shouldn't feel 
like this about him anymore, but... but... she couldn't stop just like 
that, couldn't get rid of her feelings for him...

"You can guess what happened this morning.  I was frogmarched by Bulman 
straight to Hatstring's office.  There was lots of shouting.  Because 
I've been a reasonably good student so far, Hatstring went easy on me 
and said he'd just expel me."

"'Just'?  That sounds pretty extreme to me.  What could he do that's 
worse?"

Treisel looked sick for a moment.  "Don't ask.  You wouldn't like to 
hear.  So I'm packing up - I have to be out by the end of today."

His mouth quirked.  "But that's not all.  Wajissabequahze here," he 
indicated the demon, "has been stranded in the mortal realm.  I cast a 
Detect Magic spell to find out what was obstructing his line back, and 
found out that it had been blocked by his associates in Hell."

"It's the kind of stupid practical joke those sods would play," said 
the demon named as Wajissabequahze.

"And as his Summoner I have to get him back to the Gates of Hell."  He 
paused.  "Wherever the hell they are," he finished bitterly.

"Entrance to it," the demon said promptly.

"I've TOLD you, Waj," said Treisel tiredly, "that when a human puts the 
word 'hell' in their sentences, it's usually just for emphasis.  
They're not actually talking about Hell.  Okay?"  He turned his 
attention back to her.  "And, of course, neither of us has a map."  He 
paused and rubbed at his eyes for a moment.  "Anyway, Tao, why'd you 
come?  It'll be the last time you see me, probably, so it might be a 
good idea to say goodbye."

Never see him again?

She couldn't bear the thought of that, even if he had become a gross 
cheat.

An idea burst to life in her head.

"I have to go," she announced, and rushed out the door.

"Tao, wait!" shouted Treisel, but she was already halfway down the 
corridor, and accelerating.

   * * * * *

Tao skidded into Chancellor Hatstring's anteroom a few minutes later, 
caught the edge of the secretary's desk, and used it to hold herself 
upright as she panted in an effort to get her breath back.

She noticed she hadn't heard the usual "How can I help you?" yet.  She 
opened her eyes and saw that instead of the usual secretary, there was 
a man - more accurately, a man young enough to be called a boy - 
sitting behind the desk.  His eyes were glazed slightly and fixed on 
her chest.

Two seconds later he was on the floor and Tao was fuming in anger at 
the stupidity of perverts everywhere.  She glowered at him for a few 
more moments, and then turned and strode towards the Chancellor's door.

"Wait," he croaked, reaching a hand out imploringly, "you can't go in 
there.  Chancellor Hatstring's in a meeting with my Head."

"Your head?" she asked, confused.

"Head of Department of Secretaries," he gasped, and then slumped, the 
effort too much for him.  "Don't go," he mumbled.  "I'll fail for 
sure."

Fail?  She knelt down and checked on him, and finally noticed the "Hi, 
I'm Neville, I'm on Work Experience from the Department of Secretaries, 
please be nice," badge on his shirt.  In order to fit on the badge the 
writing was really small, which was why she hadn't noticed it before.  
She was instantly embarrassed and apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Neville.  But next time, don't stare at a woman's... um... 
well, don't look at her like that.  It's not nice."  She helped him 
back up.  "Now, I have to see the Chancellor.  It's urgent.  It's about 
Treisel Arra-"

His eyes lit up in recognition and he started rummaging amongst the 
paper on the desk.  "Treisel Arrayarli?  I know I left that note 
somewhere around here," he said, and continued to search.

"Note?"

"About Treisel Arrayarli's expulsion.  Ah, here we go.  Ahem.  'Treisel 
Arrayarli's expulsion is immediate and unchallengeable.  Anybody that 
comes in to talk about it is to be turned away.'"  He blinked.  "So, 
um, I guess that means I have to politely but firmly turn you away, 
kind of thing."

"I'm not going to leave," she said, determinedly.

He looked at her, and the light glinted off his glasses.  Suddenly, 
instead of being a weedy ineffectual geek from the Department of 
Secretaries, he was an unmovable force of secretarial nature.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you past, Miss... er..."  Seemingly out of 
steam, he reverted back to being the weedy ineffectual geek.  "I didn't 
catch your name, I'm sorry."

"Tao Feymu," she said, through gritted teeth.

"Feymu, Feymu," he said, tapping a pencil on the desk.  "That rings a 
bell."  He rummaged amongst the paperwork on the desk again, and drew 
out a calendar planner.  "Oh, of course, you're going to see him today 
anyway, with Dr. Zevel."  Suddenly he was the uber-secretary again.  "I 
suggest that the best course of action would be to simply wait until 
your appointment to talk to the Chancellor.  However, I doubt that he 
will want to talk about Mr. Arrayarli's expulsion."

He reverted back to his usual geeky self.  "How'd I do?"

Gritting her teeth, she said "Very well, considering," and then hit him 
again before leaving in a huff.

   * * * * *

A few hours later, Treisel put the last box into PackingSpace, picked 
up the keys, stepped outside the door and closed and locked it, and 
handed the keys to the warden assigned to watching him.  The woman gave 
a small 'hmph' at him, but didn't leave - she still had to see him off 
the grounds.

The campus was so large that it would have easily taken the three of 
them half an hour to walk to the main gates.  Treisel didn't want to 
spend that half hour, so, after clearing it with the warden, he cast a 
Teleport spell to take all three of them there.

"Well?" she asked, glaring at him, hands on her hips.

Treisel sighed, and stepped over the line that marked the boundary 
between the University and the town of Zinnonea.  There was a brief 
flicker and sizzle to the air, almost impossible to make out against 
the general hubbub of Zinnonea all around him.  But he saw it.  In the 
context of him getting booted out, there was only one thing it could 
have been - a Ward spell.  They'd actually gone to the extent of using 
a Ward spell to keep him from specifically entering University grounds.

That was it.  He was definitely done here at the University, and would 
never be able to come back.

"Alright, come on Waj," he said dejectedly to the demon.  "We'd better 
go."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIT!!!" came a familiar voice.

Treisel turned and stared in shocked surprise as Tao came running up to 
and through the gates and out of the University and almost crashed into 
him.

"Tao?  What are you doing here?"

She didn't immediately answer - she was too busy panting, trying to 
catch her breath.  But once she could speak again, the words spilt out 
in a rush.

"Long story.  But in short, I found out why I couldn't cast magic - a 
random magic distortion aura.  I convinced Chancellor Hatstring that 
because nobody here could help me fix it, he should let me leave and 
look for someone that could."

This was a lot to take in at once.  Treisel felt overwhelmed by it all.

"A magic distortion effect in your aura?  It figures, we should have 
worked that out sooner.  But don't throw your life away by coming with 
me - you could do much better here."

Her mouth twisted into an almost-sneer.  Treisel looked at her, 
surprised, he'd never seen her look like that before.

"As what?" she asked.  "A 'Theoretical Researcher'?  Treisel, you 
*know* I want to be a proper sorcerer.  If nobody at the university can 
fix the distortion effect, then I have to find someone who can.  And 
seeing as you're going I might as well go with you.  It'd be too 
dangerous to go just by myself."

He remained standing there, wracked with indecision.

"You know I have to get Waj back to Hell, don't you."

"Yes."

"You know it'll probably be dangerous."

"Yes."

"If she wants to come, Trei, let her," said the demon.  "Just let's get 
going."

He was clearly outvoted.  Outmoved, and flanked on both sides.  There 
wasn't much he could do.

"Fine," he said grumpily.  "You can come with us.  I still think - 
urk," he urked as Tao suddenly hugged him with enough force to crush 
rock.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" she said.  "Thanks for letting me come!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he said, carefully extricating himself.  "Now 
let's go."

   * * * * *

But before we leave our trio of mighty, or perhaps just mightily 
ragtag, heroes as they start to wander away from the gates, let us stay 
for a brief epilogue and listen to their voices for just a few more 
moments:

"Um, so what next, Treisel?"

"God, *I* don't know, Tao.  Where the hell do we start looking for 
Hell?"

"Hey, Trei.  Which one of those 'hells' was the emphasis, again?"

"The first one!"

A pause.  "Oh, I get it now.  Well," the voice continued in a very 
reasonable tone, "if I knew where to start looking for Hell, I wouldn't 
be needing you, right?  So lead on, Trei."

"I know it's not much, Treisel, but I don't know either...  Maybe 
someone here in Zinnonea knows?"

"Nah, most humans generally don't."

"Then how the hell am I supposed to know!?"

"As my Summoner, that's your problem, not mine."

"ARGH!  This SUCKS!"

(To be continued)


 Author's Comments
-------------------
Gah...  Over 55KB and 21 pages in MS-Word.  There are lots of things 
things I'd like to say, but I'll try to make this note short.

Observant readers will notice that I've already written a couple of 
stories set in a world called Zinnonth.  These are available from these 
URLs:

   http://www2.crosswinds.net/~sscougall/cg/stories/offer.html
   http://www2.crosswinds.net/~sscougall/cg/stories/zin.html

Even more observant readers will notice some rather similar ideas from 
those two creeping into this one.  ^_^  Anyway, I had all these other 
ideas (circa 1994 - 1996) for another story set in the same world, but 
I never got very far with those.  So, this story pulls a lot of those 
old ideas together into one starter.  Future authors can decide if they 
want to include ideas from the other two stories in this one.  That is, 
if there are future chapters.

And last (but certainly not least) thanks must go to Lady Chaos and 
Jonatan Streith for prereading this starter and spotting my silly 
mistakes, and helping me improve it to what you see before you now.  
Thank you both.