There was a large pirate ship shooting cannons in front.  There were at 
least a hundred armed cavalry behind.  In the middle were the only 
people standing between the world and its probable enslavement, if not 
destruction, at the hands of a mad ex-druid.  At such times, it's nice 
to have Destiny on your side, ready and able to get you out of such 
messes.

Unfortunately, Julian, Arica, Hans, and Darrow weren't the Destined 
Heroes, merely the next best thing.  The world was probably doomed.


--------------------------------------------------
Saving the World Again
Chapter 6:  Improbable Escapes, Obligatory Pirates

Started by Thomas Wilde
By Steven Scougall
--------------------------------------------------


"Vat now?" asked Hans.

"Keep rowing," grunted Julian.

"Are you mad?" yelled Darrow.  "There are *pirates* up ahead!  In a ship 
much bigger than this one, I hope you've noticed.  Our chances against 
them are virtually nil."

"But," said Arica, "if we go back to shore, our chances are also 
virtually nil.  The penalty for treason is execution, remember?  Either 
way we've got an almost impossible fight on our hands, and I would 
rather face uncertain pirates rather than extremely well trained 
cavalry.  That, incidentally, will have large cannonballs coming their 
way the whole time, whereas the pirates won't."

"Right," said Julian, nodding in agreement.  He heaved on his oar in 
time with Hans and their little boat sped another fifteen metres towards 
the pirate ship.

Darrow was watching the action on the shore through a portable spyglass.  
"That pink creature just had a sword shoved through it and it wasn't 
fazed in the least," he noted.  "It might be a help against the 
soldiers."

"Mewly is all the more reason to go for the pirates," said Julian, 
pulling a little harder on his oar.

"You've got to be kidding," said Darrow.

"He's not.  Don't you remember us telling you about Mewly?" asked Arica.

Darrow still didn't believe a word of the stories Julian and Arica had 
told of the demon fluffball called Mewly, but this wasn't a good time to 
argue about it.  "Oh all right," he said.  "I'd just like to remind you 
all that I thought all this was a bad idea in the first place."

"Shut up, Darrow," said Hans.

                              *   *   *

Back on shore, things were rather chaotic.  There were a hundred 
soldiers, all spoiling for a fight, yet their intended targets were 
halfway across the bay and out of range of the archers.  The alternative 
targets, the pirates, were even further away and were sending 
cannonballs their way.  To top it all off, a small cute thing was 
rampaging throughout the ranks.  It wasn't doing any significant damage, 
but getting knocked off one's horse by something that looks like a pink 
ball of fluff demoralises even the most stalwart of fighting men.  The 
captain had had to be led away, in tears.

"They're getting away, sarge."

The sergeant ignored the familiar mode of address.  There were more 
pressing things on hand.  Such as the escaping rogues, for one.  "That 
they are," he replied.

"Actually, Sergeant Krislen," said another private, "they're not."

"They're not?" asked the sergeant.  "Sure looks like it to me."

A cannonball crashed into the planking nearby and sent up a spray of 
wood and splinters.  The horses reared and neighed wildly, and it was 
all the soldiers could do to stay on.  Fighting to get the horses back 
under control, the three managed a hasty retreat.

"Now, explain," said the sergeant.  "How come they're not getting away 
when it looks, for all intents and purposes, that they are?"

"Because, sir," said the second soldier, "that's the pirate ship 'Aqua 
Terror'.  It's the ship of the dreaded pirate captain Aquila Clearwater.  
It's said that once she sets her sights on a victim, he or she is as 
good as dead."

"Really."

"Yes.  And I'm sure that we could negotiate for the bodies of Kestrel 
and Llewllyn.  The King said either dead or alive, after all.  Aquila 
will see sense."

"How do you know all this?"

"I grew up around here," said the private.

The sergeant scowled.  "I hope this Aquila manages to get them, then.  
We sure can't."

"Hi!" said an impossibly chipper voice.  "Are you bad men?"

The three went white with shock, and turned to see the terrible pink 
fluffball that had turned Captain Krondyke into a gibbering wreck.

"No?  Great!  Will you be my friends?"

                              *   *   *

Aquila Clearwater watched the small boat approach.

Aquila had been on pirate ships almost her whole life, learning the ins 
and outs of the business.  She'd been a pirate captain for five years 
and hadn't lost a crewmember to desertions for four and a half.  There 
wasn't a single eyepatch, hook, or pegleg anywhere on her, but there 
were plenty on the enemies she had fought in her long career.  Analysts 
predicted her private fortune to be somewhere above the value of half a 
million gold crowns.

As well as not having an eyepatch, hook, or pegleg, she didn't dress or 
act very much like a pirate.  She could have walked down a common street 
and not attract any attention.  For appearance's sake, however, she had 
a pet parrot.  She called him One Eyed Jim, taught him lots of naughty 
words, and eventually grew fond of the evil-tempered bird.  Except when 
he relieved himself on her shoulder, whereupon he learnt some more 
foulmouthed curses and set speed records.

And in her long and illustrious career, she had never seen *anybody* 
actually row *towards* her ship at great speed.

"What the hell are they playing at?" she asked.  "They're close enough 
to see the skull and crossbones, if the cannons weren't a big enough 
clue."

"They must be scared of the soldiers more than they're scared of us," 
said her first mate.

"I want to meet the people who would prefer to take on myself, the great 
and feared Aquila Clearwater, instead of common soldiers," said Aquila.  
"Organise it, please."

"Yes cap'n," said the first mate, and sighed.  It looked like there'd be 
another challenge fought between the captain and some newcomer.  He'd 
better go prepare the deck.

                              *   *   *

Approaching the pirate ship meant that the four not-so-destined heroes 
would soon be within the range of its cannons, if they didn't get hit by 
one of the cannons first.  That meant that they'd better be ready for an 
onslaught of arrows or offensive spells, which were generally a lot 
easier to aim than cannons.

"We're getting too close for the cannons," said Darrow.  "We need some 
sort of barrier, or shield."

"Good idea," said Julian.  "The only problem is, we don't have anything 
to make such a barrier with."

"We do have Arica," said Darrow.

Arica snorted.  "Without the Staff, I could barely stop a fly with a 
barrier spell, let alone a flying cannonball."

"Better than nothing," said Darrow.

"Oh, all right," sighed Arica, and threw up a barrier spell.

She needn't have bothered.  Once they were within the cannons' range, it 
was as if the pirates had given up on them.  They scudded through 
relatively calm water, the pirate ship looming ahead of them.

"This is strange," said Hans.  "They must not be beink up to any good."

"Strange, yes," said Arica, "but at least it's peaceful."

"Keep your barrier up, and stop for a second," said Darrow.

"Are you beink crazy?" asked Hans.

"No, oaf.  I want to test a theory of mine.  You might not be too 
familiar with the idea, as it involves heavy thinking."

Hans growled, but complied.  Julian, not wanting the boat to go around 
in circles, stopped as well.  Truth be told, he was glad for the break, 
but nervous.  What was Darrow hoping to achieve by stopping like this?

Julian's silent question was answered a moment later when a single 
flaming arrow shot from the ship's deck and splashed into the water 
behind them.  There was a brief sizzle and some smoke, and then the 
arrow sank beneath the surface of the water.

"Ah.  As I thought," said Darrow.  "They *want* us to board the ship.  
That was just a little encouragement.  All right, Hans, Julian, start 
rowing again.  We don't want them to get bored and start shooting at us 
some more, do we?"

Hans and Julian shook their heads in agreement.  With no better options, 
they took up the oars and resumed rowing towards the ship, slower this 
time.

"Zey *vant* us to board zem?" asked Hans.  "Vy on earth?"

"Instead of panicking and running away," said Darrow, "we're heading 
straight towards them.  Not many victims of pirates do that, so they 
must be interested.  If we play our cards right, we could still get out 
of this."

"I am hopink you are right," said Hans.

"Me too," said Darrow fervently.

Despite their slow pace, they arrived at the side of the large pirate 
ship too soon for their liking.  A rope ladder was already waiting for 
them.

"Do we go up?"

"Ye better," said a voice from above.  "Or we'll shoot yer where ye 
stand."

They looked up, and saw several pirates training arrows on them.

"I hate being herded," Arica said quietly.

"We all do," said Julian.  "But we have no choice."

"Hurry up," said one of the archers - it was the same voice as before.  
"We don't have all day."

With great trepidation, the four clambered up the ladder and onto the 
deck, and looked around.  Thirty pairs of eyes gazed back, along with 
several eyes whose only companions were eyepatches.  Blind Bob, the 
laundryman's assistant, didn't look in their direction for obvious 
reasons, but what remained of his eyebrows did rise in anticipation.

The pirates were less gaudy than they had been expecting.  Their clothes 
were muted, only a few wore big hats, and there was a general absence of 
stripes and ruffs on their shirts.  There were a couple of peglegs and 
hooks in place of hands around the place, along with the previously 
mentioned eyepatches, but the number of deformed pirates was greatly 
dwarfed by the whole and healthy ones.

One of the pirates stepped forwards.  She was probably the most simply 
dressed of the lot, with a white shirt, black vest, and black pants.  
Her medium length brown hair was tied behind her neck, flowing over the 
sword strapped behind her back.  The single eyed parrot on the woman's 
shoulder turned its head and fixed its steely eye upon the four, its 
hard stare matched only by its owner's.

Throughout it all, there was the constant booming of the cannons as they 
fired upon the soldiers on shore.

"Why are you four on my ship?" she asked.

"*Your* ship?" asked Darrow.

"Yes," she said, her eyes narrowed.  "I am Aquila Clearwater, captain of 
the dreaded 'Aqua Terror'.  And I have never seen anyone racing 
*towards* my ship.  Away, yes.  But never towards.  You interest me."

"Thought so," said Darrow.

"Shut up," said Aquila.  "I didn't allow you to speak."

Darrow grumbled, but wisely kept his mouth shut.

"So, what shall I do with you?" she asked.

"You could be lettink us go," suggested Hans.

"Why would I want to do that?" asked Aquila.

"Because we're hardened criminals that King Laurence will tear your ship 
up to find," said Julian.  "I doubt you want that."

"Why don't I just hand you over to the King and avoid the trouble?  I'm 
sure he'd grant me disposition for doing his work for him."

"You can't!" said Julian.  "We have to save the world!  There's this man 
called Rothschild Damane, and-"

"Heard it all before, kid.  There were plenty of people who said that 
when Brandomere was terrorising the world, and then again when Lorin 
rose to power not long after.  Last month when M'korth was threatening 
the destruction of the entire world, I couldn't visit a pub without 
encountering at least one half-witted wannabe hero claiming he was the 
one that would defeat the would-be god.  And you know what?  All they 
ever did was talk about it.  I find that all these would-be heroes get 
annoying after a while."

Hans eyed the sword on her back.  "You are a fightink woman, ja?"

"*So* glad you noticed."

Hans jerked a meaty thumb in Julian's direction.  "If he can be 
defeatink you in combat, do ve gain command of zis ship?"

"Don't be absurd.  The crew wouldn't abandon me just because some 
wannabe hero can defeat me with his probably magic sword."

"Let us find out, ja?" asked Hans.

"Hans, what are you getting me into?" hissed Julian.

"I know vat I am doink," said Hans.  "Just like Frea ven she vas 
captured by za pirates of ze foreign sea, and she is defeatink zeir 
leader in honourable combat, and ze crew instantly hails her as zeir new 
captain."  His eyes misted over.  "'Lo!' cried zey, and raised her high 
and true; ze captain of old was gone already from zeir hearts; and 
onwards she sailed to find the enemy Oddenvolf.'"

Everyone was staring at him.

"Vat?" asked Hans.  "It iz a piece of great literary work!  Vy are you 
all starink at me like zis?"

"That's *fiction*, you oaf!" shouted Darrow.

"It is ze greatest story ever told!" Hans shouted back.

"Isn't that bit longer?" asked Arica curiously.

"It is from ze abridged version," explained Hans.  "Zere is no time for 
ze full twenty verses."  He turned to Julian and pointed mightily 
towards the pirate captain.  "Now, Julian!  You be fightink her, and 
like Frea you shall become ze captain and go to find your Oddenvolf!"  
The massive barbarian turned again, towards Aquila this time.  "You vill 
be greatly shamed if you turn down Julian's challenge!" he warned her, a 
single massive finger waving under her nose.

"My what?" asked Julian.

"We can't take him anywhere," moaned Arica.

"Let's get this farce over with," said Aquila.  "And when I'm finished 
with you I'll deal with the barbarian next.  You've outstayed your 
welcome, you hero wannabe."  She sneered.  "Look at you.  You even call 
yourself Julian, after the great Lord Julian Kestrel no doubt.  Is he 
your hero?  Do you want to be just like him, sequestered in his castle 
with the Lady Arica?  Hmph.  You have to put in a lot of hard work for 
that, boy, more than you probably can stand!  You have to go on lengthy 
adventures for more than a year, and even then he had help!  For much of 
his adventures, he had his barbarian friend Hans, and the magician 
Darrow, and Alan, and..."

She trailed off, looking at Hans.  She looked at Darrow's alchemist 
cloak, which wasn't too far different from a magician's.  She looked at 
Arica.  She looked back at Julian, her mouth wide open.

"Impossible... *you*?"

"Yes, I *am* Julian Kestrel," said Julian.  He drew his sword and moved 
it into position.  "En garde."

"Oh, *shit*."

                              *   *   *

Aquila found herself in a bit of a fix.

This was Julian Kestrel, for gods' sake!  Out of all the heroes that had 
come and gone over the past few months, he was one of the few that had 
stuck in her mind.  The stories said he had ventured for more than a 
year - an impressively long time for a questing hero on Caera; many 
heroes took at most four months, which didn't seem long enough, in 
Aquila's opinion.  On top of that, in that year Julian had made 
dangerous pacts for his sword Darkslayer, and come dangerously close to 
death far more often than usual.  Yet he had made it through.

The stories now said that he stayed in his castle most of the time, and 
shady men in pubs whispered that the King was trying to keep him 
contained.  She'd never been sure what to think about that, or even if 
she should believe them.

And here he was, standing on her deck, challenging her to a fight, and-

-his stance was wrong.  A casual observer might not have been able to 
spot the marginal errors, but they were there.  His feet were a little 
too close to each other, making him precariously unbalanced.  His sword 
was held a touch too low, meaning he couldn't guard attacks aimed at his 
head quickly enough.  He was turned towards her too much, presenting a 
larger target.  There were a host of other small problems that meant she 
could easily skewer him before he even realised what she was doing.

If this was the slayer of Brandomere, with the sword Darkslayer at his 
side, then why was he such a sloppy swordsman?

On top of that, could she actually go ahead and fight him?  She'd always 
wanted to talk to him at least once, and she couldn't do that if she 
killed him three seconds into this fight.  Not to mention he was 
probably on some important quest at the moment.  Her crew would be able 
to tell if she threw the fight, though.

She drew her sword, wondering what the hell she was going to do.

                              *   *   *

When he returned the sword Darkslayer, Julian had given up a large part 
of his swordsmanship.  Without the enchanted sword, he knew he wasn't as 
good a swordsman as the stories said he was.  However, the constant 
monster attacks between cities on this latest quest had fired up his old 
instincts and he was getting slightly better, and hadn't been killed 
yet.

On the other hand, this pirate captain was still all in one piece.  He 
wasn't sure how long she had been in this line of work, but just getting 
to captain meant she had to be good.  He swallowed nervously, hoping 
like hell that he'd be able to get through this alive.

She drew her sword to meet his own.  With the heightened senses his 
adrenaline rush was giving him, he easily noticed that her grip was 
wavering slightly, and that her eyes were flicking between him and her 
crew.  She must have been nervous.

He remembered the way she had spoken about him, before she knew who he 
was, and groaned.  It sounded like he was a big hero to her.  If that 
was the case, then she wouldn't want to fight him.  Perhaps he could use 
that to his advantage.

He put on his best tough guy voice.  "If you surrender now," he said, 
"then I'll spare you and your ship.  If you don't, I'll kill the lot of 
you."

She dropped her sword.  "I surrender," she said.

Julian gaped.  He hadn't expected it to be that easy.

"Vell, zat was anticlimactic," Hans said from the sidelines.

A pirate stepped forwards.  "Are ye the new cap'n of this ship?" he 
asked.

"I guess so," said Julian and Aquila at the same time.

"Me name's Cochran, cap'n, the ship's first mate.  There's an important 
message from the gunners.  They're runnin' out of cannonballs, and the 
cavalry on shore is still there, if reduced.  The gunners don't think 
they can finish off the cavalry."

Julian didn't know anything about running a pirate ship and didn't 
particularly want to expand his knowledge on the subject.  He looked at 
Aquila, an idea forming in his head.  Sure, it was an idea as old the 
hills, but useful nonetheless.

"Aquila?" said Julian.

"Yes?"

"As my... ah... 'advisor', sort this out, would you?  Then let's get out 
of here."

"Sure thing.  Come on, Cochran, let's go."  Aquila and the first mate 
headed for the stairs to belowdecks.

                              *   *   *

"Cochran, I'm getting old."

"Cap'n... no, sorry, it's Miss Clearwater now, innit?"

"Call me what you like," said Aquila.  "As his advisor I'm captain in 
all but name, and the crew knows it."

"Sure thing, Miss.  Anyway, Miss, as I was saying, you ain't old.  
You're only twenty-five.  There's plenty of pirating years left in you 
yet."

Aquila snorted.  "And he's, what, twenty at the very most?  And he's off 
to save the world for a second time.  I haven't even been off to save 
the world once."

"Not everyone gets to be a hero, Miss.  Lots do, but there's just too 
many people for all of 'em to be heroes."  He opened the door to the 
cannons' area.  "Anyway, here we are."

Aquila ran a quick eye over the gunners, and the small pile of 
cannonballs at each cannon.  They wouldn't be able to keep up the attack 
for much longer.

"How many cavalry are left on shore?"

"Crow's nest reports fifty out of the original hundred, Miss," said the 
first mate.

"Right.  The attack's off.  We're leaving.  Gunners, stay here, you need 
to provide cover fire."

                              *   *   *

The fluffball had thankfully been driven away.  Well, not driven, 
exactly.  It seemed it got bored very easily, and hopped away to find 
someone else to bother.  The private wasn't getting off so easy, though.

"Now the ship's getting away!  Private Clough!  You told me that this 
Aquila Clearwater would bring them back!"

The unfortunate private shrank back.  "She's one of the best known 
pirate heroes of this area, Sergeant Krislen!  How was I to know that 
Kestrel would be even stronger than she is?"

The sergeant slapped his palm to his face in frustration.  "Private 
Clough, I'm going to... no, I won't, you weren't to know.  Just get out 
of my sight."

The private, thankful that he hadn't lost anything except some pride, 
quickly hurried away.

"I didn't think that Kestrel would be this much of a problem," said 
Severn, the other man present.

The sergeant looked at Severn.  Clad in the purple travelling robes of 
the bureaucracy, the man was one of the highest officials in the entire 
Guild of Heroes.  He had invited himself along on this expedition, 
wanting to be present to make sure that the capture of Julian Kestrel 
and Arica Llewellyn went smoothly.  Instead, all Severn got to see was 
the ship they were in sailing out of sight.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it," said Severn.  "But 
it's true.  They no longer have a Guild representative with them."

"What does that mean?" asked Sergeant Krislen.

"It means," said Severn, "that Julian Kestrel and Arica Llewellyn, along 
with any that happen to have allied themselves with the two, are to be 
considered the most severe threat to the peace."

That sounded more than a little strange to the sergeant.  "What about 
Damane?  I gather he's supposed to be a major threat, too."

Severn waved a hand dismissively.  "Damane is just a regular villain of 
the week.  He might want to destroy the world, but a properly sanctioned 
hero will be along soon.  Kestrel and Llewellyn, on the other hand, have 
no such check on them.  They must be stopped."

(To be continued)

Quick author's note:
Yes, this is the obligatory "beat up the future party member" bit.  ^_^

If you see this version, then W4 has been very nice and let me squeak 
by, a touch past the deadline.  The reason this version is better is 
because Thomas Wilde has preread it, and it has some fixed bits in it.

Steven Scougall
10th July 2001