############################################################### SENSHI MUYOU! Episode 26 - (Second to) Last Call! By Reader in Invisible Fanfics Original concept by Mervyn the Wonder Slug (c) 1999, 2000 Hosted by Indie Madnesse (http://indiemadnesse.sandwich.net/) ############################################################### Staring at the board in front of her, Rei contemplated her next move. =| So, Macavity, it seems as if matters are coming to a head. |= =| At every turn you have thwarted me, |= =| But, as you see, I have yet to exhaust all my available stratagems |= =| This wager... shall be mine. |= --- --- Sitting back in a chair that cost more than the average earnings of most of his regular clients, Yamashita grinned. Everything was working out perfectly. Once this Fushin and his companions were well under his control, he'd have a disposable set of do-gooders to serve as distractions for Uzume's unusually competent security. As he pictured this, he idly stroked the black stiletto lying on his desk, the sign of the Agent- eh? "An admirable plan. Somewhat simplistic, but workable." Uttered a heavily muffled voice right behind him, Whirling about in his chair, Yamashita lashed out with his stiletto at the source of the voice- wait, what was his stiletto doing sticking from his chest? No, wait, he could still feel its comfortable weight in his hand, even if everything was going dark... The Agent snorted as it carefully withdrew from Yamashita’s corpse. It was almost a pity, Yamashita had looked like a promising distraction for its own activities, far better than the rest of the 'dummy' Agents it had set loose and later been forced to kill... but at this stage it was best to reduce the variables in play. At any rate, it still had a double contract to fulfill... and its employer was not a lady to cross. --- --- =| Ah, it seems like Macavity is slipping. |= =| My True Pawn is not yet out of play |= =| Despite the cat's efforts |= =| And what of Ebony? |= --- --- It lay there, on the dining table. Seemingly harmless, its plain exterior belied the horrors concealed within. "Hey Schein, Lord Shiryo. Watcha doing staring at that envelope for?" Heralded by the odor of burrito by-product, Marais craned his neck to get a better glimpse of whatever was the focus of attention. It was a sign of how distressed Schein and Shiryo was that the presence of the scruffy Dark General was a welcome distraction. "The letter, Marais, contains the overall financial assessment of our Dark Liege's expenditures." "Oh... geez, well, I'll just leave you two guys to open it in quiet, kay?" Schein smiled. It was nice to see that even an oaf like Marais had *some* tact- "I mean, I just ate." -and perhaps some day it might show itself. Sighing, Schein turned his attention back his Queen's brother. "Lord Shiryo, perhaps I should..." "No. I might as well get it over with." Gingerly picking up the letter, Shiryo reached across the table for the black stiletto lying in the centre. Wincing as he saw the letter opener, Schein reminded himself that the Agent, the treacherous Pookie, was currently confined in the dungeons under a enchantment requiring a princess’s kiss. As for the Agent's signature black stiletto, that was under lock and key in the armory. He'd had Varese, the most qualified amongst them, do a thorough assensing of the sinister little weapon (which was possibly the only thing the hair-care product abusing General was good for, having practically no talent for offensive magic), and that had turned up nothing. Still- "I-i-impossible!" His attention dragged back to current matters, Shiryo turned to face the Dark Litigator. "Lord Shiryo?" "It can't be... I mean... never thought..." As Shiryo dropped to the floor, Schein plucked the letter from his hand and began to peruse it. Moving to the side to give the man some space to twitch, Schein glanced over the column of figures. And froze. Blinking, Schein studied the letter. His Queen's show... was turning a profit. Granted, it was a small one, in light of Uzume's expenses, but even so... apparently the show was proving immensely popular across a wide range. The toy range was doing especially well (somewhat irked, Schein noted that the Marais action figure was outselling Dark Elf Perky). Recovering, Shiryo snatched the letter from Shiryo and began to study it anew. "Who would have thought sister dearest had it in her? If I can get her to channel these profits wisely, maybe, just maybe-" "Ooh! Shiryo! I see you've already seen the profits." Entering the dining room with Happy Bounce #82(sharing the success of my show with my sibling), Dark Queen of Happiness and Terror Uzume beamed. "Yes, and I think-" "Isn't it great! Now I can go ahead with the publicity concert!" "-that with some careful investment that we can- publicity concert?" "Why yes! Everything is going so slowly, so I thought that a nice big publicity concert would help." His face slowly assuming the expression of a man descending into the Pit of Doom, Shiryo slowly blinked. "Publicity concert. The sort that have free entry, right?" "Of course! And then there'll be all sorts of *fun* stalls and games-" "Stalls and games. Manned by people paid by us." The Pit of Doom today seemed to be lined with spikes- "-and lots and lots of the best quality fireworks, and expensive free prizes-" "High quality, expensive fireworks and gifts." --which were on fire. "-and oh, Schein, can you go check that the gargoyles have been changed, or maybe I should get the whole castle redone for this. What do you think?" Pausing, Uzume turned her attention to her retainer. Somewhat disconcerted, Schein tore his attention away from Shiryo's expression. "My liege, I believe that the gargoyles have been removed, and will be replaced with what you requested by this afternoon." "Yay!" Performing Happy Bounce #21, Dark Queen Uzume turned to leave. As she bounced out of the room, Schein was suddenly struck with a wave of apprehension. "Ah, your Dark Majesty? What does the changing of the gargoyles have to do with this concert of yours?" "Silly! We can't have gloomy gargoyles ruining the atmosphere of the castle when the concert takes place here!" Goodness, but the Pit of Doom was crowded today. --- --- =| So Ebony gathers itself. |= =| An opportunity is present here |= =| However, I must ware Ivory's interference. |= --- --- Gathered at the Advisor Cat's house, Sachiko, Meryl and Kagi waited. "Carlisle, exactly WHY have we been waiting here for so long?" queried Sachiko as she tossed the last of her knives at a makeshift target on the wall. "I told you, I've got a bad feeling about Whittington and Fushin. If we get any sign that they are in trouble, I want us all to be ready to go at a moments notice." Finishing her speech, Carlisle resumed pacing the tabletop, tail lashing every few steps. "Ah, Carly, you always worry too much. Relax." "Not now, you lazy ball of fur, we've got to stay focused for any possible sign that you're in trou- Whittington?!" "You missed me, you really did? Anyways, we gotta talk." Sauntering over to Carlisle's side, Whittington began to groom himself. "You... encountered no difficulties?" "Nah, couldn't find a thing around that apartment. But listen, I got bigger news. Uzume's planning something big, some sort of event at her castle. Gonna be lots of people round there... good target for draining, right?" "If that is the case, she would be practically unstoppable if she managed to drain energy on that scale." "Yeah, but the fun part is... entry is free. We can waltz right into her castle, without any trouble." "The potential of that... that sounds like an excellent plan Whittington. Quite unlike you," adding the last in a wry tone, Carlisle leaped off the table to settle in a nearby chair. "Hey, that hurts. Oh, and I sent Fushin home already. He had a pretty hot date with that Yuriko." Rolling onto his back, the gray lump of fur leered playfully at his fellow Advisor Cat. "Fushin? On a date? Nice to see him do SOMETHING lively for a change." "Can we go home NOW?" Tapping her foot impatiently, Sachiko regarded the two cats. "Well, if nothing else comes up-" *SLAM* "Wai! You're all here! Kitty-cat-san told me you'd all be here and he was right! Now I can lead you all and beat that nasty Dark Lady!" Bouncing into the room, Nadako proceeded to natter on about how everything would be just great with her leading the team. "Oh, and Kitty-cat-san told me to do something VERY important!" Recovering slightly, Meryl held Sachiko back with a slight telekinetic grip and asked in a neutral tone "...and that is?" "He told me that you were all doing really well, even without me, but that you were missing one thing!" Reeling under the barrage of perkiness and exclamation points, Meryl tightened her grip. While it sounded like Nadako was actually offering help- "We need a NAME to rally around and inspire us onto greater heights. From now on we will be known as Happy Shiny Beautiful Princess Cheer and the Pretty Mystical Joyful Jubilee Cherry Office People! I thought it up all by myself too!" Carlisle and Whittington blinked thrice. Kagi actually tried to say the name too fast and tied his tounge in a knot. Meryl took one look at Sachiko, decided that she'd need something on the order of a riot squad to hold her back, and released her grip and ducked. "Mystical... Joyful..." *BOOM* As it turned out, it took two riot squads and the better part of a SUMP team to hold Sachiko back. Fortunately, upon meeting Nadako, the officers accepted a plea of temporary insanity though. After staying in Nadako's presence for a further five minutes, they dropped all charges just to keep her out of the station. --- --- =| Committing your Pawn, Macavity? |= =| An unexpected maneuver |= =| Worrying about my new Knight perhaps? |= =| Ah, further movements from Ebony |= --- --- One arm resting on the polished surface of the bar counter, Schein contemplated his drink. Nobody knew just what went into what was served down at the Doom 'n Gloom Bar, and after a few mugs, nobody was in any shape to think about it, or anything else for that matter. Besides him slumped the limp form of Shiryo, living testimony to that fact. Perhaps he was looking at things in too negative a light. True, the castle was going to be flooded with hordes of unscreened visitors soon, but there were ways to maintain security. Tagging and tracking spells, hidden cameras, alarm spells and wards for the more sensitive areas... all he needed to do was to consider it another way to showcase his strategic genius. Of course there still was the Dark Elf Perky costume... Gloomily, Schein was about to wave for another mug, but paused as another gained the bartenders attention first. " YO, BARTENDER! ANOTHER JUG!" "Will you try and keep it down!" Wait. He KNEW those voices. "Mike?! Fred?!" "SCHEIN?!" "Schein?" "What are you two doing here, together?" "HAH WE-" *ZOT* "-GNGH!" Lowering his still smoking hand, Fred, nee General #3 regarded his drinking companion with a baleful look. "Mike, I'm getting a headache just listening to you, and that's supposed to come during a hangover, not before it." Holding his head and wincing as the last of the Partial Sobriety Spell worked its magic, Mike, AKA General Asheron shrugged. Working under Nyx and having to speak quieter than the grave at all times gave one a powerful desire off duty to create as much ruckus as possible. "At any rate, youngest sibling, we are currently off-duty. It looks like we're going to be busy quite soon though, so Mike and I are getting in a few last drinks." Draining his mug as he spoke, Fred eyed Schein thoughtfully. "Erg, yeah. Hey, so how's tricks little bro?" Shifting in his seat, Mike reached for his mug again, but halted at a small cough from Fred. "Ah, well things could be better, or they could be worse." Settling back in his seat, Schein regarded his siblings with a careful eye. "And you two?" "Hah! Soon Dark Queen Yasha will crush all who stand before her!" Translation: Know of any job vacancies? "Once all those fools are gone, I alone shall receive the greatest of rewards from Her Dark Majesty Nyx!" Translation: Oh dear lord, once Tartarus is gone that'll leave just me. "Ah. Well, at least you two don't have to deal with Macavity." The minute the words left his mouth, Schein cursed himself. "..." "..." "Schein..." "Little bro..." "Macavity doesn't exist." "...does too." "Yeah, he just happens to disapear every time we turn around so that only you get to see him." "Most people YOUR age outgrow their imaginary friends." "This is why we DON'T meet more often." Standing abruptly, Schein pulled his sodden companion to his feet. From Shiryo's last mug, a small clawed hand emerged from the portal formed by the brew's fumes, and snapped angrily. Head held high, the Dark General stalked out of the bar. Watching his brother leave, Mike shrugged, then met Fred's gaze. "Do you think we shoulda told him about the alliance between our Queens?" "No, little brother knows the difference between personal and professional. I am sure he would understand. At any rate, we really ought to get back to planning the assault on Uzume's castle." --- --- =|Ah, it seems that Onyx and Obsidian are on the move|= =|They approach Ebony's position|= =|This may be of use...|= =|For now though, my True Pawn demands my attention.|= --- --- The Agent lurked quietly in the darkness as it contemplated its position. With the last of the 'dummy' Agents it had spawned to test and distract Uzume's security, things were falling into place, for what seemed to be the first time. Nyokurmiryu had done well for an initial probe, allowing it to penetrate deep into the heart of the castle at will. Still, it always paid to be prepared, and so Pookie had been kept in reserve. But now... it was sheer luck that had kept it from being rendered powerless after Pookie had failed to eliminate the secondary target, Shiryo. While its new position was possibly even better, this Schein was proving entirely too competent for its liking. With a silent sigh, the Agent resigned itself to the situation. Soon, everything would come together... including its backup. At any rate, it could have come across a worse candidate- Staring at the mirror, Varese opened his third bottle of mousse of the day, tching as he dripped some on the black stiletto he was using as a razor. Odd, hadn't he thrown that away earlier? -the Agent reminded itself silently as it tried to ignore the indignity it currently suffered, lying next to the washbasin of its current tool. At least it wasn't exposed to the stench of Marais... but if that over-permed IMBECILE spilled one more drop on it, it'd see how the fool enjoyed being shaved bald. --- --- Bozo Nishida was grateful for his heavy makeup as he sat in his appointed place at the Eldritch Table of Dark Foreboding in the main conference room. It made it a lot harder for people to tell if he was paying attention, for one thing. The mimes had been awfully quiet lately, and those above him were concerned. After several shoephone calls, several crack agents had arrived in the area, with Uzume was definitely the best target for the Silent Smiling Doom. Now, how was he to sneak them in here. "Bozo, do you think your people could help out with the concert?" Bingo. "I think I could arrange for some jesters and joculators to help man the booths and organize everything... but if you are planning to have them in soon, it'll be kind of expensive." Fingering his braces, Bozo tried to restrain a smile, then remembered his make up and relaxed. "Oh, that's okay! For my employees, no expense is spared." At the far end of the table, Shiryo began to slowly bang his head against the table. Sweatdropping slightly, the rest of Uzume's staff ignored it. "Ano... Shiryo, why are you doing that?" *thump* "It's to help me relax, sister." Sarcasm dripping from his voice, Shiryo continued introducing his face to the table. "You mean like retail therapy?" *thump* "Kind of." "Oh, okay then. Maybe I should try it sometime." *THUMP* --- --- A little after the meeting... "My Queen, may I speak to you in private regarding the security system?" "Sure!" A series of muffled coughs and what sounded like 'suck up' came from Marais as he left the room, leaving Uzume and her General alone in it. "While the security of the castle has been upgraded, we now require a person to stay in the castle to ensure its smooth running from this Control Room." "Okay... ummm, then... ooo, who's available?" "My Queen, I believe I am the only one qualified for such a task. However, I know that you were counting on my acting in another capacity during this event. Therefore, I have found a replacement." "Oh... well in that case go ahead! Oh, and do you know whether there are any pop tarts left in the kitchen?" "Last cupboard on the left, third shelf." "Wai!" --- --- Dark Princess Moonshine, skipping through the halls of the Edifice of Happiness and Terror without a care in the world(or thought in her head), paused as she passed a mirror overlooking the courtyard. "Ne, D-chan. Those daisies you had me plant, are they supposed to glow like that?" "Youw pwattle onwy stwengthens my wesolve to sacwifice you to the Dark Word [Bun-Bun] fiwst" mumbled the rabbit cradled in her arms, "ewen if I fiwnd this wewy cowmfy." --- --- "Ooooh, she can't do this to US!" exclaimed Nina. "WE're the stars of her stupid show!" nodded Nona. "EVERYone watches it to see US, not some STUPID guys and girls dressed like office workers!" shouted Nana. The resident Snotty Rich Girls of Gimei High strode along the road, shoving people out of their path as they visualized themselves gaining stardom once they got their parts back. A synchronized triple bitch laugh cleared their way. "Scuse me. Down here." "What? WHY on earth should WE listen to WHOever you are-". "Why, don't you want to be stars?" said Whittington as he stalked out of a nearby alley, his eyes glowing a dark green. "Well, I've got just the thing for you three... just take these pens and Uzume'll get some REAL villains..." --- --- Elsewhere, Macavity's grin got even wider. Rei had actually put one over him! This was getting INTERESTING. --- --- Mnemmlem frowned as he studied the note in front of him. On it was depicted a small stick figure moving through a complicated series of motions. At last, the debt was called. Tapping the hilt of his stiletto against his thigh, he remembered the deal: training and weapons to use against the Clowns, in exchange for a call to arms at the other's discretion. He smiled, the Silent Smiling Doom had sworn vengeance against Uzume for her desecration... and it seemed like the perfect opportunity had arisen to take it. Standing he pointed to his lieutenants, piroutted three times, balanced on his head, rowed an invisible canoe, and as an afterthought, moonwalked. Each in turn performed a triple flip with a pike twist whilst blowing their noses. On the morning, they would descend upon Uzume's castle. The Agent would get his wish... and the mimes their vengeance. --- --- The Big day... Schein smiled as he watched Uzume greet the crowd that was already filling into the castle. Manning the control room for castle security was somewhat tiring, but he could always put it on automatic if anything needed his personal attention. More importantly... being in here meant no more Dark Elf Perky. Of course, the promotions had mentioned three Dark Elves, so someone had to take his place. Smiling as he settled back in his chair, Schein watched through a camera installed an animatronic Youmabible(the replacement for the gargoyles and the price of which had sent Shiryo down to the wine cellar) as Marais, AKA Dark Elf Frumpy, pandered to the crowd. Couldn't happen to a better fellow. --- --- =| All falls into place |= =| It would seem, Macavity, that your position is imperiled|= =| Your previous victories for naught |= "Endgame approaches, Macavity, and I do not intend to lose to the likes of you." (TO BE CONCLUDED!) Tune in next time to see the fic end! Or not? Authors Note: Gah. It's done. Considering how long I spent waiting for this to start up again, it would have been ironic if I had to bow out due to time constraints now. Still, the penultimate part is now out, despite my schedule. Credit for this must also go to my prereaders, black dub and Mervyn, as well as Mervyn again for a very generous extension. I'm a bit afraid this was a little more serious in tone than the rest of the series. I tried to make Rei more of a threat(she's being shoved or anticipated by Macavity a bit much). At any rate, I had a blast both reading and writing SM!, and I look forward to seeing how Mervyn ends it.