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SENSHI MUYOU! 
Episode 18 - Don't Call Me Shirley
By The Jusenkyo Guide 
Original concept by Mervyn the Wonder Slug (c) 1999, 2000
Hosted by Indie Madnesse
(http://www.students.rhodes.edu/~knoke/indie/indie.html)
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Last Time on Senshi Muyo! ...
   Through an overly dramatic (and overly expensive) entrance, it was revealed just how much
control Uzume has over Shiryo's bank account! Er, I mean, that the nefarious Nyuyokumiru was 
none other than... The Agent! Or maybe not. Oh yeah, and a clown died too. 
					**************

   Uzume glared at the still bleeding Nyuyokumiru who was busy trying to look calm and cool with 
a broken nose (Courtesy of Uzume's slap attack) and the fact that Dark Elf Perky was holding
the black stiletto to his neck. "Mou...." she said with unhappy bounce #105 (Someone with a 
knife tried to grope me), "What's going on?" 
   Schein gestured with his free hand at the man he was holding at knifepoint, the dramatics of 
the moment were somewhat ruined but the twinkling of the bells on his costume however. "Queen 
Uzume, this man is The Agent!" he declared.
   Shiryo gasped and turned paler than when Uzume had told him the cost of her little platform. 
Varese and Tallis looked confused, Marais was out of sight and smell, and the audience 
was really starting to wonder if this was part of the story or not. 
   Uzume blinked, "Ano... I know he's the agent." 
   Schein caught himself before he could land on the floor, and incidentally shorten 
Nyuyokumiru by a head, "You knew?!" 
   "Of course, that's what I hired him for."
   "You hired The Agent?" Shiryo demanded.
   "She most certainly did not," Nyuyokumiru responded. 
   "I did too, we had that nice lunch remember?" 
   Then to Schein's annoyance, they all started talking at once. 
   "Why did you hire him?"
   "What lunch? I was hired my normal way."
   "We had tea and you told me you would have no trouble in getting who I wanted."
   "You know that black stiletto looks an awful lot like mine."
   "Ano... has the show started yet? The sound and lights people want to know their cues." 
   Schein pressed his free hand to his head, "ENOUGH!" he roared. "My queen," he said politely to
Uzume. "Did you hire The Agent?"
   Uzume gave a rather confused bounce, "I told you I did!"
   Schein nodded slowly, "Ok, may I ask why you hired him?"
   "To find those three sailor girls to be villains in the show remember?" 
   The Enchanted Forest of the Youmabibbles shook from the combined face faults. 
               				************

   In a little known part of the nice happy flower garden of Uzume's Edifice of Terror and 
Happiness (Or is that Happiness and Terror?), dirt was flying fast. Whole rows of Uzume's happy 
man eating flowers were being ripped up by the roots and tossed like so much tossed salad. 
   "Um, D-chan, are you sure that Queen Uzume won't mind us digging up part of her flowers?" Dark
Princess Moonshine asked. She was still dressed in her new clothes and stayed far away from her 
digging advisor as possible. Dental floss does little if anything about keeping dirt out of 
certain places.  
   The void bunny, now named D-chan, stopped in his digging, "I'm suwe she won't, Pwincess. 
Daises make people happy after all."
   Moonshine pondered this a spell, "And that will make Queen Uzume happy right?" she asked with 
a cute blank look. 
   "Of couwse."
   Moonshine gave beginners bounce #69 (I'm making my adoptive sister happy wai!) and settled 
down to watch D-chan dig. 
   "And when the enewgy that the daisies collect weaches Lowd [Bun Bun] all will be given to the 
[Void] and I will be fowgiven about not killing that telemawketew to get the seeds." D-chan said 
softly and continued digging. 
					*************

   Meanwhile, back in the vase. 	
   Rei frowned at the chessboard. The black pieces had grouped together and now the bishop had 
moved to capture the marble she had placed so lovingly. 
   [The marble has been captured] the floor moaned. 
   [And the other is no longer under our control] the clock chimed in. 
   "There is still the girl," Rei said softly. 
					**************

   Yuriko sneezed, scattering some J8R paper fasteners around her desk. "I hope I'm not coming 
down with a cold," she said to herself. "It would be so inconvenient." She turned back to 
her new book, 'Dating and Conquering Tokyo for Dummies'. 
					***************

   "Or maybe not."
   Rei hissed softly as Macavity strolled out into the firelight. "I thought you would be to busy
with your pawn," she said.
   Macavity gave her a real solar flare of a grin, "The kid's busy trying to find a new ice cream
store. I just wanted to stop by and see how things are going." He looked at the chessboard where 
blue knights had just swarmed the marble. With a soft pop it disappeared from the board. "You 
know Rei, you should just give it up."
   [There is still time yet, Macavity] the clock said.
   "Of course there is." Macavity's grin got even wider if possible. "You might want to see what 
you pawn's up to Rei, you might not like it."
   Rei turned her attention to an odd pink marble with a black star in the middle; she frowned 
even more. "What are those flowers?" she asked, turning back to Macavity. 
   But all that was left was a slowly fading grin.    
					***************

   The boys in blue had led Nyuyokumiru away and the show went on without further hitches. The 
dark elves bounced, jiggled, and sang their way into the hearts of toddlers and were mobbed after
the show. Uzume ordered everyone to be happy and the Youmabibbles were the delight of screaming 
kids everywhere by sucking out the energy of the parents. And Shiryo went around looking like a 
duck that someone had hit on the back of the head. 
   As a Dark Litigater he had heard of the agent. He was stunned that someone had gone to the 
trouble to hire that person to take out his sister. Brotherly protectiveness did not come to him 
all the time, but now that Uzume was clearly in danger of being killed without getting a chance 
to pay him back it was a whole new ball of wax. Leaving the rather sickening sounds of the 
Youmabibbles song being sung, again, with full audience participation behind him. Shiryo wandered
back behind Uzume's platform to get some time to think.
   Loud applause and cheering singled the end of the show, hopefully for the day. "Hmm, why would
anyone hire The Agent for Uzume? It's not like she's doing anything or has done anything major to
anyone," Shiryo wondered out loud. He froze when he felt a sharp point press into the back of his
neck.
   "You're right, no one would send me after your sister." The voice was muffled and Shiryo 
couldn't tell if it was male, female, or even if it was human. "But you now... The man who holds 
the purse strings as they might say."
   "Could you at least tell me who hired you?" Shiryo asked through a dry throat. 
   "No."
   'Ok,' Shiryo thought calmly. 'The best killer in the world has his knife on my neck and isn't 
going to let me stall for time. Now what do I do?'
   "SHIRYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Uzume's perky voice called out dripping sugar. 
   The voice hissed, "Next time." Then it was gone.
   Uzume bounced into view leading Varese, Marais, and Schein. "Guess what?!" She exclaimed 
happily. "The TV people loved this so much they're going to pay for us to do 5 more shows!"
   "My Queen," Schein said, "We still lack sailors remember? Ours are still hospital bound." 
   "Don't worry, I know were to get some replacements." Uzume said, thinking of those girls who 
had defeated her Youmabibbles and that yummy guy. "They'll love to help us! Oh yeah! Shiryo, the 
TV people not only going to pay for this, but they want us to add a mini circus too! Isn't that 
great?"
   'What to do? What to do?' Shiryo was still thinking. 
   "Ano... Shiryo?" Uzume asked.
   'What do I do? Oh yeah, THAT!' Shiryo collapsed.
   "Maybe he isn't used to getting stuff for free?" Varese suggested. 
End

Notes:
Nihao! 

   Sorry for this being short and well, short. But finals, Mother's Day, girlfriend, writer's 
block, and my own damn laziness kept this short. That and a malfunctioning ISP is leaving me 
writing this and hoping I can actually send this sucker out. Thanks to Aaron who intro'd me to 
this wacky series and our nice Slug for making it. 
 Who's the Agent? I don't know. Why isn't the team in here? Didn't feel like writing them. 
Besides, I figured whose ever next should have the fun of writing Sachiko's reaction to Uzume's
job offer. 
   So tune in next time to Senshi Muyo! When we'll here Uzume say, "But I'm not into the whips 
and chains, and things any more!" Or not. PLEASE let it be or not.

Ja!
Jusenkyo Guide