Deep inside the bowels of the Dark Edifice of Happiness and Terror, a tense confrontation was taking place. Well, perhaps that isn't entirely accurate. Dark Queen Uzume's throne room wasn't exactly deep inside the bowels of the castle. It was, in fact, rather closer to being shallow inside the castle's throat. And the castle itself wasn't really very Dark any more. It was more of a Soft Pastel Edifice of Happiness and Terror now. And, come to think of it, the confrontation wasn't all that tense. More confused, really. But aside from those minor details, it was an accurate assessment. Well, mostly. Okay, so it wasn't at all accurate except for the "Edifice" and "confrontation" part, and that was mostly through sheer luck. Never mind that. The important thing is: ############################################################ SENSHI MUYOU! Episode 16 - Don't Call Us, We'll Call You By Scott Schimmel Original concept by Mervyn the Wonder Slug (c) 1999, 2000 Hosted by Indie Madnesse (http://www.students.rhodes.edu/~knoke/indie/indie.html) ############################################################ Princess Moonshine of the Magical Kingdom of Happiness faced Dark Queen Uzume with a puzzled frown. "You're not trying to make people unhappy?" "No!" Dark Queen Uzume snapped indignantly. "Really?" "Yes, really!" "Really really truly honestly really?" "Yesyesyesyesyes!" "But you're a Dark Queen," Moonshine stated uncertainly. The foundations of her world were in the process of being terribly undermined. "Yes?" "And Dark Queens want to conquer the world and steal people's energy and make them unhappy, right?" "No! I don't!" "Really?" "Let's not start that again," pleaded Pookie, waving a conciliatory tentacle. The two stopped arguing and turned to stare at him, having forgotten that he was actually present until this moment. "Um, I mean," he said nervously, "Can't you just take her word for it, Princess?" "Well, I guess if you say so..." "Wai!" Dark Queen Uzume performed Happy Bounce #47 (the Happy Bounce with a half-twist). "Then I can explain. You see, *I* want to make people *happy.*" Moonshine favored her with a skeptical glance, and she continued, "Disagreements make people unhappy. When I conquer the world, everybody will do what I tell them, so there won't be any disagreements, nobody will argue, and everybody will be a happy follower!" "Except you," Moonshine dutifully pointed out. "Yes," Uzume agreed. "It's a great responsibility. But as long as everybody is happy following my orders, I'll be happy too, so it will all work out in the end. Now, doesn't that sound nice?" "Well..." Moonshine thought very hard. "Will people really be happy if they do what you say?" "Sure!" Seeing that the girl was not convinced, Uzume crossed her fingers behind her back and prompted, "What's it like where you came from?" If she knew her kingdoms... "Oh, it's very nice!" Moonshine burbled. "Daddy -- he's the king -- tells everybody how to be happy, and then they... do... oh!" Uzume smiled triumphantly, performing Happy Bounce #8 ("I am simultaneously victorious over both my opponent and logic itself.") "Now you see. That's exactly what I'm trying to do here! So we shouldn't be fighting." "It... it sounds like I should be helping you," a somewhat puzzled Moonshine agreed. If Uzume really could make everybody on Earth happy, that would certainly end the threat to the Kingdom of Happiness. And once that happened, she'd have the power to get back home, even without Tewwance's help. "But..." She hesitated. "Just what are you doing?" Uzume motioned toward a door. "Let me show you our TV program... I have a feeling you'll like it." "Okay," Moonshine decided agreeably. "Can Mr. Pookie come too?" Uzume glanced at Pookie, who shrugged. This was quite an impressive sight, given the sheer number of pairs of limbs the teddy-bear youma possessed. "I guess I don't have anything too urgent due..." This was not, strictly speaking, entirely true. But Pookie liked this girl. She just looked so delic-- swee-- cute. Yes, that was it. "Okay, then. Let's all go watch together!" ***** Blade in hand, Shiryo slit open the envelope, gingerly extracting the folded sheet of paper within. The paper which contained his account statement. The account statement which he was not at all looking forward to viewing. Reluctantly unfolding it, he winced even before reading it, preparing for the worst as memories of Uzume's more profligate expenditures (i.e., all of them) fluttered through his mind, accompanied by a mental image of enough zeroes to make King Midas himself fall to his knees and beg for mercy. So it was quite a surprise that his statement showed he was in relatively good shape. Granted, it was relatively good shape only in the same sense that the average corpse was in relatively good shape as compared to one at ground zero of a nuclear blast, but it was a surprise nonetheless. His eyes flicked over the columns of numbers. The show couldn't possibly be showing a profit so soon... could it? The licensing deals hadn't even been worked out yet -- he made a mental note to discuss them with Nyuro -- and the theme restaurant franchises were still just a crazy dream. (As a Dark Litigator, Shiryo had lots of experience with franchising -- a Dark idea if ever there was one.) So, if it wasn't money from the show, then where was--? Just then, Schein derailed his train of thought by sweeping dramatically into the room. "Lord Shiryo," he began, sounding well-rehearsed. "I feel we should talk. I--" He blinked. "What the hell is that?" he asked, sounding considerably less well-rehearsed. Shiryo glanced down at the black stiletto that was still in his hand. "What, this? It's my letter opener." "Where did you get that?" Shiryo frowned, puzzled. "It was a gift with my subscription to the Economist." "You don't subscribe to the Economist." "Oh." Shiryo chuckled. "So I don't. My mistake. I meant the, um, Journal of Dark Law." "You don't subscribe to that, either," Schein stated. "Because there's no such publication. Besides which, it'd be redundant." Shiryo ducked his head and muttered, "soapoperadigest." "..." Schein shook his head, as though dispelling the beginnings of an ache. "I... see. Please excuse me." He turned and had nearly swept dramatically out of the room before Shiryo remembered why he had come in the first place. "Didn't you want to talk to me about something?" "Never mind... it's not important." ***** Hands clasped behind his back, Schein paced, traveling randomly through the corridors of Uzume's No-Longer-Quite-So-Dark-Really Castle. Often, this exercise served to clear his mind and focus his thoughts. Not this time. Shiryo had a black stiletto. Therefore, according to Macavity, Shiryo was (potentially) the Agent. But that made no sense -- he might be annoyed by his sister's uninhibited spending habits, but he didn't seem the type to kill her over them. Himself, possibly, but not her. On the other hand, Macavity had never lied before... well, he had never said anything that was entirely untrue, anyway. Not once you really looked at it. Come to think of it, perhaps the target wasn't Uzume after all. Perhaps it was Schein himself. The Agent had been known to assassinate the occasional Dark General, after all, and he was obviously the most competent -- and, therefore, the most important and most dangerous -- of Uzume's. Not that there weren't hundreds of reasons why someone might want the others dead... but strategic considerations were not among them. No, an intelligent enemy of Uzume's might well wish to eliminate Schein first. There was only one problem. Even he had to admit that it would be more efficient for an enemy, if said enemy were capable of hiring the Agent in the first place, to eliminate Uzume directly. The Agent didn't work cheap, after all, and it would be as easy to kill Uzume as Schein. Perhaps easier; she was more... well, not trusting, exactly, but more careless... than he. Nothing seemed to make sense. He'd been hoping to avoid alarming Uzume, but perhaps he'd better warn her, regardless. Just in case. ***** Schein swept dramatically through the corridors. He rounded a corner and somewhat less than dramatically crashed headlong into some clown who hadn't been paying any attention to where he'd been going. And whose belongings scattered humorously about the intersection. "Ouch," quoth Bozo, flat on his back. "Nnngh," Schein most eloquently agreed. "Hey, sorry about that. I guess I should watch where I'm going." "Quite all right," said Schein, who had more important things on his mind than disciplining an errant intelligence (and we use the term loosely) officer. Rubbing his head, he reached to gather some of the scattered papers. "My analysis," Bozo explained for no apparent reason, collecting the rest of the papers and the black stiletto he'd dropped. Schein experienced a sense of deja vu, exactly as he thought he had before. "What... is that?" he asked pointedly. Bozo chuckled nervously, hiding the knife somewhere among the elaborate and manifold neck frills of his clown suit. "No offense, but working for a Dark Kingdom is kind of dangerous. You need a bit of insurance, you know? Besides--" his voice dropped to a whisper, but, true to the nature of a performer, it was a stage whisper, "--the Silent Smiling Doom is escalating." Completely nonplused, Schein stared. "The... WHAT?" Bozo frantically glanced around, making sure the two of them were alone, before replying. "The war between the street mime faction and the circus clown faction," Bozo non-explained. "Don't let anyone know I told you!" he added in a desperate, frantic stage whisper. (He was a born performer.) "You're an outsider -- I'd probably be rubber-nosed to death!" "Rubber... nosed...?" "It's like being stoned to death, only it takes a lot longer and it's funnier." "...Indeed." Schein paused. "I believe I shall continue on my way now." And he did. ***** Bozo watched the Dark General walk away. That had been close; almost too close. He doubted he could defeat Schein, if it came to a fight -- and it probably would have. Schein didn't seem likely to care for Bozo's, erm, extracurricular activities. If his true purpose were to become known, it would probably be the end of him. Still... His hand reached up to touch the concealed blade he'd taken from his daughter's collection. It was reassuring, in a way, to know that it was there. It just might give him the edge (no pun intended) in a battle. Besides, if the mimes attacked him, it could cut right though their invisible boxes as if they were thin air. Bozo would have smiled at the thought, except that, thanks to the greasepaint, he was always smiling anyway. ***** Reaching for the doorknob, Schein paused, grimacing. Through the door, he could hear the sickeningly cheery music that served as background to the Youmabibble show. Queen Uzume was watching the tape... again. It was almost enough to make him turn around and walk away. But he was a Dark General; he had a certain responsibility to uphold, no matter the personal suffering it might cause. Gritting his teeth, he pulled the door open. Then, because he had his standards, he swept dramatically into the room, trying to ignore the bouncy noises that served as backdrop to his every action. Nobody noticed his entrance. Uzume, Pookie, and the little girl in the frilly pink dress all continued to stare at the television. Giggling. Schein shuddered. Wait... the little girl in the frilly pink dress? "Er... excuse me," Schein said, quietly decorous. He was ignored. Drowned out by the goofy song he and the other Generals were in the process of singing in the video, most likely. Eyebrow twitching, he began to repeat himself slightly less decorously, only to be drowned out once again -- this time by the horrendous screeching keening wailing monstrosity that Queen Uzume called "the perfect ending theme." He fell over, covering his ears. Now, of course, they noticed him. "Why, Schein," Uzume asked, standing up. "What are you doing on the floor?" "Wai! It's Mr. Schein!" Now, Schein was no longer on the floor, having been scooped up by a hyperactive grade schooler. Wonderful. "Can I have your autograph? Please? Can I? Huh?" "Yes," Schein nodded weakly. "Just... put... me down..." "It looks like you've made your first fan," Pookie said. Uzume concurred. "And our show appeals to her age group, too. We're going to rule the world in no time!" She bounced happily. (Happy Bounce #3, "Wai! I get to rule the world!" -- a favorite of hers.) "Er... yes," said Schein. (It was always best for a Dark General to refrain from pointing out his Dark Monarch's bad taste.) "I'm... very happy for you." Uzume clapped her hands. So did the girl. "Er... who is she?" "Oh! I'm sorry, of course you haven't met yet. This is Princess Moonshine! She's going to help us." Schein's eyes narrowed. "My Queen... she is not from this world, nor from any Dark Realm. Are you certain--" Uzume giggled, interrupting Schein's dramatic warning speech. "I know that, silly. She's from the Magical Kingdom of Happiness, and she's going to help us make everybody happy." Moonshine nodded vigorously. "She'll be our very own Dark Magical Girl!" "Ano... do I really have to be Dark? It's just," she added hastily, seeing Uzume's upset look, "that Dark sounds so... um, dark." "But... it's a family tradition," Uzume protested. "But I'm not in your family..." "What a great idea!" Uzume enthused. "What?" Schein asked, looking lost and feeling... even more lost. "We can adopt her! Then she'll officially be Dark Princess Moonshine!" Uzume beamed. "And she'll have a place to stay, while she's here--" "Actually, I've been staying with Mr. Bozo. He works for you." Uzume continued on, not even noticing the brief interruption. "--And we'll have a legitimate tie to the Kingdom of Happiness... oh, I've got to tell Shiryo about this idea. And I'll call Daddy, he'll want to know...." "Maybe," Pookie tentatively asked, "you should ask Moonshine whether she wants to, first?" "Well..." Moonshine began, reluctantly. Uzume turned a truly pathetic, pleading glance on her, tears shimmering in her eyes, and her resistance crumbled. She just couldn't make anyone as nice as the Dark Queen cry. "...I guess so. But," she added, desperately trying to salvage something, "can't we call ourselves the Shiny Kingdom, or the Bouncy Kingdom," (Schein snickered; fortunately nobody seemed to notice,) "or something other than the Dark Kingdom?" Uzume laid one finger along her jaw, studying Moonshine with an evaluating gaze. "Well, actually, there is one other reason we go by Dark. Aside from the tradition aspect." "What's that?" "Dark has a better wardrobe. I mean, look at you." She gestured to Moonshine's pink-on-pink outfit. "What's wrong with this?" Moonshine asked, slightly afraid. "What isn't?" Schein muttered. Pookie eyed him, but, fortunately, neither of the females heard. "Well, it's cute, but it's overdoing things just a little," Uzume explained. "And Queen Uzume knows all about people overdoing things," Pookie broke in, helpfully. Uzume took the comment at face value. "Right. Everyone says I have good taste. So... let's see... give me a minute." As Moonshine and Schein both watched, slightly puzzled, Uzume picked up the phone, dialing a number from memory. "Hi," she chirped. "It's me, Uzume. Could you send a #34 up to my castle? Yes, charge it to the same account. Thanks!" She hung up, performing Happy Bounce #5 ("I got to go shopping with Other People's Money"). "Now," she said, turning back to the others, "I'll be able to show you in just a second." A second later, there was a knock at the door. Squealing happily, Uzume rushed over to open it. A man walked in, holding a box. "Plot Device Express, when it absolutely has to be there right now for no plausible reason," he introduced himself. "You must be Dark Queen Uzume. Sign here, please?" Uzume did, and took the box. "Thanks again, ma'am," he said, leaving the room and the story. "That was different," Schein noted. "What's in the box?" Moonshine asked, endeavoring to peer over Uzume's shoulder by the simple expedient of jumping up and down. "It's a present for you!" Uzume turned around and attempted to whisk the lid off and triumphantly display the contents. Attempted, because the lid wasn't budging, having seemingly been taped, glued, tied, and cemented into place. Dark Queen Uzume sweatdropped. "Here," said Pookie, "Use this." He extended a black stiletto to the Queen, who cheerfully attacked the packaging. Schein nearly suffered a heart attack. "There we go! Thanks, Pookie," Uzume chirped, handing the blade back to the teddy-monster. She whisked the lid off, triumphantly displaying the contents. They were black, and leather, and could be considered a dress primarily because neither washcloths nor dental floss were typically made of black leather. Alongside this outfit were three matching pairs of shoes -- no heels, heels, and truly ridiculous heels -- plus a matching pair of bedroom slippers. There was a belt, and a tiara, with touches of silver and luminous moonstones complementing the dark sheen of their onyx. There was, rather disturbingly, a coiled whip. There was a scepter with a heart-shaped onyx at the top that reminded her fondly of her broken ruby wand. There was a tiny keychain with her name on it. There was, for some obscure reason, a toaster. Moonshine stared at the contents in something approaching a state of shock. And slowly smiled. "Ooooh," she breathed. "Shiny!" "Try them on," Uzume urged, bouncing yet again. (Happy Bounce #22: "I have succeeded in corrupting the arguably innocent.") "And later, we can go shopping, and get you a few more things you'll need... oh, this is so exciting! I always wanted a little sister!" Schein, having progressed well on the way to developing a massive headache, departed to save what remained of his sanity. He didn't realize until much later that he'd forgotten to warn Queen Uzume about the Agent. ***** Princess Moonshine (*Dark* Princess Moonshine, she reminded herself) skipped merrily along the street, humming a simplistic yet addictingly jolly tune that she'd picked up from the Youmabibble program tape. She'd made a lot of new friends, most of whom were cute and/or fuzzy. She'd met a television star, and he'd promised her an autograph. She'd got lots of nice, shiny new things, which she was currently wearing. Best of all, she'd made progress toward completing her mission by finding an ally. It was a very good day. That called for an ice cream sundae. Ice cream was, as far as Moonshine was concerned, the perfect food. It tasted good. It *looked* good. It made people happy. And, of course, as a Magical Princess of the Kingdom of Happiness, she could draw power from consuming it, or other sugary snacks. There was no down side to ice cream. With this on her mind, and multiple scoops of vanilla and strawberry slathered in chocolate sauce and whipped cream and a cherry on top, she was able to completely overlook the reactions of those around her who were not, as yet, inured to the weirder happenings that plagued the area. There was one other girl eating ice cream who was not so blissfully oblivious, however. "Mmm... chocolate-chocolate-chocolate-chocolate chip..." Well, perhaps she was. But her cat wasn't. "Hey, kiddo," Macavity murmured from the seat beside her. "Don't look now, but a Dark Something-or-other just walked in." Nadako briefly tore herself from her dessert. "Really?" She looked. "How do you know?" "I can feel the vibrations in the ether caused by her Dark power." "Really?" Nadako's eyes, normally wide as saucers, began to resemble dinner plates. "Wow." "That, and the black leather, crown, and scepter are usually a dead giveaway." "Oh." Nadako shifted uneasily. "What do we do? Should I call the others?" "I think she'll have left by then." Macavity smiled slightly to himself. "I'll stop her!" Nadako reached into her pocket and retrieved her wand. "Not now!" Macavity hissed. "Do you want all these people to know who you are?" Nadako pouted. "I wasn't gonna transform right here," she protested. "Anyway, I'm not even done with my ice cream yet." "Hmm. Well, I hope she's not secretly draining people's energy while she sits there eating that sundae." Macavity stretched, yawned. "That wouldn't reflect very well on us." Nadako looked at her ice cream mournfully. "Perhaps," Macavity added languidly, "they might even close this shop while the cops investigate..." "No ice cream?!" Macavity hadn't known it was possible to simultaneously whisper and shriek, but Nadako managed. "That does it!" she declared righteously (but quietly). "I won't forgive her!" And she ducked into the restroom. Macavity chuckled. This should prove interesting. And the repercussions might just force a certain entity's hand... Moonshine was about halfway through her sundae when a teenage psychopath in a pink, purple, and white dress (which boasted more frills than a top-of-the-line automobile) burst out of the restroom and struck a pose, pointing a color-coordinated plastic wand in her direction. "Evil Magical Girl... um." She lowered the wand a bit. "What was your name again?" "Moonshine," said Moonshine politely. "Dark Princess Moonshine. I like your dress," she added. "Dark Princess Moonshine! For threatening to steal the hopes and desserts of young girls, I, Happy Shiny Beautiful Princess Cheer, will never forgive you!" "...What are you talking about?" "Don't try to trick me! Prepare to die!" "Can this wait until I finish my ice cream?" "No. If I don't get to, you don't get to." Moonshine sighed, standing up. "Okay, fine," she groused. "Have it your way." By this point, the customers and employees, not being utter fools (rather unlike the magical girls), had evacuated. Or, more to the point, run like hell. So there was only Macavity to witness as Happy Shiny Beautiful Princess Cheer once again leveled her wand. "Special Joy Joy Escalation Activation!" A sparkling rainbow arced toward Moonshine, but, being a Magical Princess of the Kingdom of Happiness, she was not subject to freezing from sugar shock at the sight, as regular youma would be. She snapped her hand forward, palm out. "Shine Sparkle Effervescence!" she trilled, and a spray of golden sparklies neatly blocked the rainbow ones, causing only a small explosion as the opposing forces canceled out. (Moonshine was not merely a Magical Girl, like Nadako, but a bona-fide Magical Princess, and, as such, had no need to announce her attacks. But she thought they were much cooler that way, so she did.) The combatants glared at each other for a moment, then did what any magical girl would do when their attacks had proven useless. They pulled out higher-level powers. "Unbearable Cuteness of Being!" shouted Dark Princess Moonshine, firing an impressive array of energy bursts in the shape of stars, hearts, flowers, Tewwance, teddy bears (of the untentacled variety), frilly bows, assorted plushies, and, for some reason, a scale model of the Tokyo Tower. Nadako panicked for just a moment before throwing both hands forward. "Shiny Happy People Dying!" A burst of canary-yellow energy of a magnitude that would have made a Dragonball Z fan swoon with envy met Moonshine's attack. The explosion was rather larger this time. When the dust had cleared, Moonshine looked in shock at the rubble that was all that remained of the ice cream parlor. And burst into tears. "Waah! You blew up the shop!" "I did not! It was all your-- ack!" Desperately, she cast about. "Mr. Kitty? Mr. Kitty! Where are you?!" Macavity slowly emerged from beneath the table where he had taken refuge, seemingly none the worse for wear. "Why... don't you... call it a draw," he gasped out. And collapsed. "Mr. Kitty!" two girls shouted in unison. ***** The Dark General Varese stared at his reflection with the hollow eyes of one who had seen far too much unpleasantry. His hands, clenched tightly around the sink basin, nevertheless trembled. His lips parted, and a scowl of defiance crossed his flawless face. "Never," he growled low in his throat. Then, flinging back his head, he howled, "Never shall I accept this!" And lo, there came a response, a distant voice answering his impassioned declaration. "Shut up for a change, would you?" Schein shouted. "Some of us are trying to sleep!" Varese sighed. Of course his compatriots didn't understand. How could they? None of them knew. None of them had to deal with the sort of life he, Varese, led. No, among the Dark Realms, he truly stood alone. And he was growing tired of this, so tired. Perhaps he would end it all now. His hand crept to the black stiletto that lay on his vanity (his favorite furnishing, but that should have been obvious). Yes. "Now... I shall make an END!" he cried, slowly raising the black blade until its razor edge rested lightly against his throat. The door was slammed open by an irate Dark General Schein, dressed in a Dark Nightshirt. "Varese, I told you to-- what do you think you're doing?!" Varese ignored the intrusion, calmly drawing the blade over his neck. Only then did he turn to his fellow general and scowl. "I'm shaving, of course. Some of us," he added loftily, "care for our looks." Schein slapped his forehead and struggled to control his Urge To Kill. ***** Schein lay in bed, unable to sleep. The Agent occupied his thoughts. Shiryo? Bozo? Pookie? Varese? All of them had the telltale black stiletto. None of them seemed to have the motive or the competence, but that was irrelevant; the Agent was, of course, very good at hiding his true nature. But his thoughts were going in circles. He was getting nowhere. It was time to consider a new tack. Restlessly, he flicked on the television. "--And kill him with kindness. Black Stiletto, the new fragrance from--" He clicked the television back off. Perhaps that hadn't been such a good idea, after all. Schein was absolutely surrounded by black stilettos, now that he was looking for them. It was ridiculous, really. After all, there couldn't be more than one Agent... ***** A shadowy figure crept stealthily through the distant, as-yet-unexplored recesses of the Only-Formerly-Dark-Overall-But-Still-Quite-Dark-Down-Here Edifice of Happiness and Terror. She (let's call it a she) held her infamous black stiletto ready before her. Her mental map told her that she was, laterally, several hundred yards from the center of the above-ground portion of the castle, but approaching rapidly. Soon, she would fulfill her purpose here. "'Ey!" a voice rang out, causing her to whirl. "Who the bloody 'ell are you, then?" She frowned, approaching the second shadowy figure. "You shouldn't have let me know you were here, friend. I'm the Agent, and now that you've seen me, I can't let you go." She smiled ferally. "You can't be the Agent," he stated. The certainty of his statement made her pause. "Of course I'm the Agent. Look, here's my stiletto." "That's ridiculous, that is. See, I just happen to be the real Agent." He held up a stiletto of his own. "What? No, you're not." "Now, look 'ere, I think I should know whether I'm the Agent or not... seeing as 'ow I'm the Agent, an' all." "You're not the Agent! You're not even from the Dark Realms! You're an American!" "'Merican? Am not. Don't'cha hear the accent?" "Yes. It sounds like an American attempting a British accent and failing miserably." "Oh, now you're just getting insulting. B'sides, I happen to know that the Agent isn't from any o'them 'Dark Realms.' So what'd'you say about that, eh?" "I say," said a third shadowy figure, "that neither of you is the Agent." "Oh, for..." The first shadowy figure sighed. "How many Agents are there down here? Speak up!" she insisted. "Me." "Over here." "Er... up here, too." "Sorry." "I'm the real one..." "This is bleedin' ridiculous, this is." "Would you *please* drop that phony accent, already?" "..." "Well, one of us must be the real Agent... right?" "There is a real Agent, isn't there?" "Ha! That proves you're not the real one!" "Of course he's not. I told you, I'm--" "Oh, stuff it, we know better." "Damn." "Hey, did you guys hear someth--" Mercifully, the ceiling caved in, burying all of the shadowy figures beneath several tons of rubble. ***** Tune in next episode and see Dark Princess Moonshine adopt the Vorpal Void Bunny as her animal advisor! ...Or maybe not. ***** Author's notes: Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. Hope this amused you a bit. Sorry I didn't get the chance to do anything with Yuriko, but things were getting out of hand as they are... Good luck, Kate. ^_^ Scott Schimmel Ex ignorantia ad sapientium; Ex luce ad tenebras "You really aren't normal, are you?" - Miki Koishikawa