I've been watching
While you've been coughing
I've been drinking life
While you've been nauseous
And so I drink to health
While you kill yourself
And I've got just one thing 
That I can offer

Go on and save yourself
And take it out on me

	-"Cochise", by Audioslave

~0~

	Ned and Kramer put down their glasses, wiped the corners of their mouths, and sighed.

	"Good shtuff, eh?" Ned slurred. "'s from King Lil--Lar--Laza—LOUIS da Ex Eye's stash. Ma brudda 
gottit fer me."

	Kramer, perfectly sober despite having taken in half his body-weight in wine, nodded. "It's good 
stuff." He glanced at his watch. "Do you want me to sober you up now?"
	
	Ned grinned stupidly as he slid an arm over Kramer's shoulder. "Tha'd be GREAT, ol' boy..." The 
lesser-demon made an interesting noise as he dropped to the floor. Kramer poked him with the toe of 
his shoe; his only response was a throaty snore.

	Kramer sighed. "I guess I'll start without you." He stepped over the comatose Ned to grab a 
small, greenish-blue item from a drawer. It glittered in the dim light of the shop, sending little dots 
of light scattering over the walls and ceiling.

	Kramer left the shop. The dots of light remained, sparking slightly.

	Then a sound not unlike small, helium-sucking children laughing rang through the room and the 
dots smashed through the ceiling, leaving a hole Legion himself could have fit through.

	Hi-ho.


 =====================================
 New Haven
 -------------------------------------
 this is what happens when you leave the oven on

 Scene 2-6: Take Two Lives and Summon Me In the Mourning

 Chapter by
 Zeroin and M.Y.

 Story initiated by
 Thomas Wilde and James Howard
 =====================================


	Karen and her escort were just out of range when the dots made their escape, and the shop itself 
came into view just when the last piece of wood fell to the ground.

	Hence, all they saw when they arrived at Kramer's was the man himself, standing on the steps 
leading up to the entrance with a strange blue sword in his hand. The blade was a tightly wound spiral 
of indigo metal.

	"Mr. Kramer? Is that you?" Karen called out. She took a step back when he turned to look at her, 
then wondered why she'd done so. 

	"Yes, young lady? ...Karen, isn't it? And who are these blessed gentlemen with you?"

	Isaiah, Jeremiah and Jebediah introduced themselves.

	"Ah, yes..." Kramer smiled warmly at the men. "Followers of the Lord's Bullet, yes? I haven't 
seen any of your clergy in years." He grinned. "Well, this changes things." He turned to Karen. "And 
what is it you came to see me for?"

	"Well--"

	"Hold on, please, I'm sorry." The sword had begun to glow in Kramer's hand. "There's something I 
have to take care of." He turned his back to them, the blade of his weapon trailing sparks.

	Pastor Jeremiah leaned close to Isaiah. "I do not like this, Isaiah. Maybe we should--"

	A bubble of blue energy popped into existence around Kramer. Green energy bounced around inside, 
never hitting the man but coming closer and closer to doing so.

	Hi-ho.

~0~

	"What is happening in this city?" Stroika wondered aloud. The four mages were walking through the 
New Haven Zoo which, according to Drachmov and his map, was the quickest way out of the city from 
Kramer's shop.

	Something with the body of a penguin, the fins of a fish, and three heads--an elephant, a 
tortoise, and a flamingo--flopped in front of the group. Each head snapped at the group in turn before 
the whole thing collapsed and melted into a sizzling ooze.

	There was silence.

	"That was the *single* most useless creature I have *ever* seen," Drachmov said.

	"It comes right avter you on ze list, Drachmov," Stroika teased.

	"Fuck you."

	"You vant to?" Stroika asked innocently. "Right here, right now, hm?"

	Alice sighed as Drachmov edged away from the chuckling Stroika. "Maple, what are we going to do 
n--Maple? Are you okay?"

	The Canadian mage stood stock still in the...remains of the three-headed thing, trembling so hard 
that he was actually vibrating his way across the ground.

	Drachmov and Stroika, done squabbling, got behind Alice. "What's wrong, Maple?"

	"He's done it," was the only reply.

	Blue light exploded in the distance, and it began to rain little blue dots.

	Hi-ho.
	
~0~
	
	"Are we done yet?" Father Bruno whined.

	Archbishop Luccini grumbled. "No, we are *not* done yet. I feel useless, doing nothing while the 
others are out working."

	"Why aren't we preaching to the masses, then? Surely we are better suited to that than *this*," 
Edgewood pointed out. "Inspecting the food stores is not something we have experience with, 
obviously."

	Luccini glared at his comrades before returning to the can he held. The three were in the food 
storeroom of the New Haven Maximum Security Prison, inspecting the food as Edgewood had said. Rows 
and rows of cans lined the steel-gray shelves that filled the brightly-lit room. They all seemed to 
be cheap generic brands.

	The can in Luccini's hand twitched.

	"Get me a bowl, Father Bruno."

	Bruno hesitated, then shrugged and handed the Archbishop one of the plastic bowls from a pantry.

	"And a can opener."

	"*Here*."

	"Thank you." Luccini applied the opener to the can and poured the contents into the bowl.

	Black clams, each as big as a quarter, snapped with equally black teeth from a sea of creamy 
white goop.

	"I am *not* eating that."

	"No one's asking you to, Edgewood." Luccini sprinkled some holy water on the clams, which 
immediately evaporated. "But I think this whole batch of New England Clam Chowder is, well, inedible. 
Mark that down."

	"On what?" Edgewood sneered.

	Luccini didn't even blink. "Your hand, maybe? Anything's fine."

	Edgewood reluctantly took out a laundry marker and began to scribble on his hand.

	Aria giggled from the Archbishop's side. Luccini gave her a semi-lecherous grin and returned to 
his work.

~0~

	"Rache...how nice to see you," Stephan Carroll muttered. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?" He backed 
away from the glowing boy.

	Rache spat as far as he could--which, considering the fact that he was dead, wasn't all that far.

	Elizabeth's face lit up when she saw the boy. "Aaron?"

	Rache looked over at the woman. His mouth dropped open.

	"Mom?" He ran to the woman and hugged her. Stephan did not miss the fact that she was glaring at 
him from over the boy's shoulder. He wiped at his forehead. Today was not the greatest of days.

	Things got worse when Rache and Elizabeth disappeared.

~0~

	Edgewood had just finished scribbling when the still-hugging pair appeared right next to him. He 
stared uncomprehendingly at them, his marker wobbling in his violently-trembling hand. The woman's 
eyes...the irises seemed to have been made of fire...they were boring into his mind...his 
soul...devouring him...

	He opened his mouth to scream--and died before he could draw the breath, shifting from 
solid/liquid composition to a simple set of gases in less than a second. Bruno fell to the same fate.

	Luccini averted his eyes just in time, but Aria never looked away. Seeing the two old men just 
disappear had triggered something in her far more volatile than simple handgun-based destruction. 
Words unlike any uttered by human vocal cords rumbled from within her throat, creeping across the 
floor and crawling up the bodies of the two offenders, caressing them with their raw power.

	Rache and Elizabeth grimaced and rose into the ceiling. They escaped with little damage, if you 
don't count injured prides.

	Luccini stared at his young caretaker.

	"...I like the way you work, young lady."

	"Thanks!"

~0~

	"Done what?" Alice pressed as she shook Maple's arm. "What's happened?"

	Maple said nothing.

	"Maybe something possessed his mind," Drachmov suggested helpfully. "Or maybe that something is 
eating away at his soul, ravaging it with relentless anger--"

	Maple took a raspy, shuddering breath, cutting Drachmov off. "We have to go back. Now."

	"But--" Stroika protested.

	"*NOW*." He looked at them, and they saw only one thing:

	Fear.

~0~

	Johnny Basquain wasn't watching where he was going.

	Johnny Basquain, still stuck in his pessimistic musing, took an entire minute to figure out he 
didn't know where he was going.

	Johnny Basquain fell down a very, very deep tunnel.

	Hi-ho.

~0~

	*Yes*, the chapter *is* short. I can explain. No, really, I can. Babysitting, the general lack of 
ideas, and housecleaning all prevented me from getting anything done until Twelve In The Morning 
TODAY. The DAY it is DUE. I did what little I could in what little actual time I had.

	Sorry it's so short, sorry it's so surreal, sorry it isn't funny enough, just plain fucking 
*sorry*.

	We'll see if I can pull something better out of my ass right after Senor black dub, who is UP 
NEXT, and will PROBABLY KICK YOUR ASS with his CHAPTER. I'm sure he'll do a helluva better job than I 
did, this time around.

	Thanks go to M.Y. for ideas and brainstorming. I couldn't use 'em all in this installment, but 
hey, there's always next time.

	-Zeroin
	12/15/02