*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Indie Madnesse proudly presents: IMPROFICROAST: Improvisational MiSTing or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Come Up With Riffs In Two Days http://indiemadnesse.sandwich.net/ifroast/ifroast.htm Episode 005: Embryonic Eclipse Participants: -W4 (indiemadw4@home.com) Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion -Ranma X (drstupid@geocities.com) Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion -Kate Malloy (kamalloy@home.com) Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion -Neo Vox (suzaku@madasafish.com) Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion -Signus Megido () Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion -Zeek Silverfire () Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion -Echo Albarn () Cameo appearances -Dr. Thinker (winkstwo@sssnet.com) Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion, Guest Villain -Ripper Jak (WYVERN5555@aol.com) MiSTing, translation, editing -Jonatan Streith (a99jonst@ida.his.se) MiSTing, translation, editing */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* OBLIGITARY LEGAL BLAH MST3K & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Skribulous, Kate Malloy, Zeek, Neo Vox, Ranma X, Dr Thinker and W4 are owned and copyrighted by their respective creators. ImproFicRoast is owned and copyrighted by Indie Madnesse. "Embryonic Eclipse" is copyright by Echo Albarn, a darn good sport if I may say so. MISTING CLASSIFICATION [MST]: Meta-Misting - Misting Of A Misting, Or A Unusual Misting The misting was completely improvised; see the ImproFicRoast home page for more details. [NONE]: Era Unknown or Unspecified The cast and characters are completely independent of the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" Storyline. [TOON]: General Cartoon Fanfiction The story is based on the anime "Sailor Moon" and also make references to other anime series. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* It all started in a room. A huge yellow room. It had enough science junk to make it look it was the headquarters for Dole Fruits. Monitors and video equipment were strewn across its neglected metal floors. It looked like any normal mad scientist's testing center, but unfortunately, it was no ordinary scientist running the controls. It was a grossly exaggerated figure with Coke bottle glasses and a cowlick, in a dust yellow lab coat over a Pokemon shirt with Ash, Misty, and Brock on it. The simple label on his coat said one word. Thinker. This was the Computer Lab of Doc Thinker. For years, he had searched for captive audiences, astounding them with inconceivable wonders. He had earned quite a few awards for this, and he became a household word in the mad scientist community. Yet he felt something lacking. The challenge was dimming. He needed another pursuit. After all, torturing a temp and a couple of androids was losing its... je ne sais quois as the French say. Or as Thinker would say, "I have not taht good feeling anymoer." He sent his robot helper, Diane, to look for opportunities that would provide adequate fun and repast. Within hours, she found one. "I'm here abut a string place run by kook who car himslef W4," stated Diane in the similarly disjointed Engrish as her master. "It's called 'ImproFicRoast' or something like that. Bonzur stuff." "Perfect," Thinker replied, smiling a bit. "By the way, the Henchgoofes has been lanch." stated Diane. "Good. I am usang my Test Theather for this story. Tank you, Diane." Diane wheeled off to oversee the capture of the subjects and their orientation. Thinker leaned back into his chair. To bed Miek ad his little bots gate down, Thinker thought. I wil wat to shwo ff bad stres and othir thengs. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* W4 grimaced menacingly at his captive. "Okay. This is the last time I'm going to ask," he spoke in a deep, rough voice. "The absolute last time. WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?!?" The captive looked up at W4 with innocent eyes and replied, "Meow?" W4 balled his fists in anger. "Ooooh. You're a tough one, Mr. Kitten. But I will not be denied! You will tell me everything!" he declared. The kitten hopped off of the Comfy Chair and nuzzled up against his leg. "Hey!" W4 protested. "Stop that! If you think your 'cute' schtick is going to save you, then-" The kitten purred. W4 sighed, picked up the kitten and gently petted it. "Well, fudge," he cursed. "At this rate, I'll never become a card-carrying mad scientist." A moment later, a Henchgoof clubbed W4 over the head with a large mallet. (It had a note attached that read, "For Anti-W4 use with my blessing. A.T.") It gave the kitten a saucer of milk and dragged the unconscious W4 away. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Ranma X. had returned home and, after a steady three day non-stop Ayn Rand reading marathon, returned to his normal, cynically skewed self. "Wow. In my torment and collapse, I failed to notice I'm almost done with high school. Wow...I wonder what my future will hold now...I wonder at the things I'll do or see. What I'll be exposed to and what I will become? I mean-" He stopped as he heard someone knocking on the door. Ranma X. walked up to the door. "I worship the Dark Lord, so go away!" "I knot a Jehavoh Waitness..." "I filled out my census!" "I knot wicth the Cansis beareau..." There was a moment of silence. "IRS?" "No." "FBI?" "No?" "Society for the Promotion of Plot Nazis?" "No!" "Well, who are you?! If your not any of those things, you probably are just some guy who's here to kidnap me and- Oh god..." Ranma X. yelled until the door was broken into with a single kick. "Can't you people just call ahead of time?! Doors are expensive, you know! I meAG-URK!" Ranma X. complained until a lead pipe to the skull shut him up. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Kate was calmly polishing her lance when the Henchgoof showed up to kidnap her. She glanced up at him, blinked once, then resumed polishing. "Ummm...escuse my, bat I'm sippised to kadnap ya now," the Henchgoof pointed out. Kate looked back up at him. "It's rude to interrupt someone when they're in the middle of doing something important," she replied. "Could you give me a few more minutes?" "Uh.er....I gus," the Henchgoof answered. Kate nodded and went back to work. Exactly five minutes later, she held up her shiny lance. "All right, I'm done. Kidnap away." The Henchgoof shrugged. Hey, she was being reasonable... */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* In a theater across town, two Henchgoofs retrieved a red and white ball from a desk drawer that someone put a sticker that said "Caution: guarded by live weasels." There were no weasels, which was a relief to the robots. "Ths is the ridaz of the dragazon nut?" one of the robots asked, palming the ball and tossing it up and down a couple of times. "Corrict." replied the other robot. "Is called Skribby-Loos or someting. Doc sed it reeeeeeeel wakkout." "Ooh. I like wakkout dragazon. Can I pet it?" "Errrrr...no." "Shazbot." The first Henchgoof looked downcast. The second robot looked around. "Ennyway thas the usazul thather that W4 usa for this nightmare plon." He fingered the poster that showed Akane Tendo being bludgeoned by what looked like a sledgehammer. "Tacky deko, ne?" "Yah. Tacky max," the first robot said, settling himself. "Let's teka ham to the Tast Theather's tuffy." "Righto," the second robot agreed. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* The human known as Neo Vox was harder to find, but the Henchgoons hatched a Foolproof plan to retrieve him. Neo Vox, summoned to a certain location with a note supposedly from Jonatan, had found himself in a giant white room, with long tables lined up stacked with ice cream. The black-clad kid kicked a bowl. "Jeez, there's enough here to feed an army! In different flavors too," he thought as he absent mindedly ate a massive bowl of Rocky Road, Volcanic Lava and Cookies and Cream with sprinkles. Then he felt something on his head. Double Mocha Almond Fudge? What the hell?! He suddenly froze, and looked above him. Ice cream was raining on his head! Within seconds, he was smothered in ice cream. It took only minutes for the Henchgoons to dig Vox out and put him in custody. Needless to say, the man from the Mr. Sweet Tooth Ice Cream Store wasn't very happy about the mess. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* "One more to get, Doc," Diane reported. "Exerrent," Doc Thinker replied. "All we ned now is Zeek. You send four bots to Dream City?" "Yes, Doc." "Ya rearly impress me, Diena." Just then, a door opened, and four Henchbots walked in, carrying a rather beat up, spherical robot. "Here, Doc," the lead bot saluted. "Fund him in a thetre wit wird humans." Doc Thinker looked at the hostage, then shot the lead bot a confused stare. "Wat you try to pul? Thas don't ZEEK!!!" he yelled. The Henchbot was confused. "It don't?" "Thas ZEEKBOT, blot-fer-brain!" "Oops." the Henchgoof muttered. "Take this thang brick! Lot me ran duwn the scinnars. I fidn Zeek." "Lazt juzt hopa thaz got Kal-El invovled," one of the Henchbots muttered as they carried Zeekbot back. Three minutes later, the scanners picked up something. Thinker smiled. "So that's where Zeek at... on there... didn't hose tune to mess with ending of the roofs ago." He pulled out a button and pressed it. He then gave a big sigh of relief. The fun was about to begin. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* "I wonder what all that commotion with the bot was. Ah well. I better be getting to Graalish lands again." Zeek pulled out a ring and flashed it to the sky. When the light dimmed, he looked around. "This isn't Graal. Lets try this again." He held up his hand but the ring didn't activate. "Damnit... Where the heck am I...wait a sec... this was the place the bot shown... where is this?" "Hell," Ranma X replied. "Specifically, you're in the bad-fanfic- themed circle of Hell." "You mean..." Zeek's face paled. Then a loud torrent of swearing was heard through the theatre. After the outburst, a small hatch slid up on the wall. A red and white ball dropped down the floor towards the group. With a familiar *POOFSplortFOOMPT!*, the Pokeball opened up... revealing an odd- looking Dragonite, who looked rather confused with his surroundings. "Oh, poopie..." W4 groaned. Kate blinked. "Hey..." she said. "Isn't that...Skribulous?" "Oro?" Skribulous, who was NOT a Dragonite after all, scratched his head. "What's going on, anyway? The last thing I remember, I was at the snack bar in Woofy's 'Theater of Pain', then something hit me behind the head and put me in the Pokeball... What is going on, anyway?" "Trouble. Fan-Fiction Trouble." replied Ranma X. "Yarou..." Skrib growled, turning to W4. "Why is it whenever we bring up bad fanfiction, you're always involved?" "Well..." "Oh yeah, I remember now... you put me in that Ultra Ball, didn't you?!? Woofer..." As the others prepared for mass smiting, Skrib advanced dangerously towards W4... ...only to stop at the sudden loud grumbling from Skrib's stomach. "...I'll deal with you after I get something to eat, though." Everyone else facefaulted. The captured folks looked around, wondering why they of all people were dragged here. Almost everyone looked at W4 as if to say "Not this again, you mad jerkanazunalon," except Kate, who just pointed her spear at him and muttered, "No hugs for you," and Neo Vox, who was still recovering from being trapped in the pile of ice cream. Skrib quickly jumped at the mound of frozen condiments that had congealed on Vox's trenchcoat. "Wai! Ice Cream!" "KYAAAAA!!!" Neo Vox screamed, scrambling out of the way. "Why didn't you look at me?" asked W4 curiously. "I don't know who you are, and besides, there was this ice cream mound that crashed down on...HEY!" replied Neo Vox, trying to get the mess of ice cream and the dragon off his body. Then a giant blast of hot steam blew off the stuff for him, except a load of chocolate ice cream atop his head. W4 smiled. "Oh. Well, I'm just a run-of-the-mill chibi-author-and- lunatic-turned-mad-scientist who uses bad fanfiction to try and find the perfect text-based weapon of destruction." Neo Vox glared at W4 just like the others. "...oops," W4 murmured. Neo Vox replied, "Yeah, oops." Then he donned a Schwartz ring and blasted W4 right in the nether regions. "Something Spaceballs is useful for at last!" Kate fwapped Neo Vox over the head with her lance. "Hey, if there's going to be any senseless violence around here, I'm going to be the one to do it!" The group STARED at her. A yellow robot then entered the room and hit Kate on the head with a large hammer, stunning her a bit. "The only voilestenace allew on thas thon that is that of my master," it said, explaining its actions. "And just WHO is your master?" W4 asked. "You will compute it soon." replied the robot, leaving. Kate sweatdropped and scratched the back of her head nervously. "Eheheh...guess I got a bit carried away, huh?" "That's logical," Zeek replied, still a bit confused. Skrib looked down at the fwapped Neo Vox. "You gonna eat that?" he asked, hungrily pointing at the lump of ice cream on his head. It was just about then that a huge computer with a digital camera popped down into the lobby. On the screen was Doctor Thinker. "Helo, ImproRiffers, my name is Doc Thinker," he said, as way of introduction. Neo Vox spoke sunnily like he was at an AA meeting. "Hello, Doc!" "Wow, live and in person!" Kate exclaimed. W4 paled. "A loser is us," he gulped. Doc Thinker remarked. "Thot wis sow finny, I firgot to lugh. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ranma X. sighed and looked up. "So, this is for all the times I fantasized about the Asian girl on 'Ally McBeal' on those cold, lonely nights, huh Takahashi-kami-sama?" Ranma X turned to kick the kowtowing Skrib, who had shapeshifted back to human form in the mean time. "Don't encourage him, baka." "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Skrib intoned. "Yes. I'm truly the mad writer." stated Doc Thinker. "Really? Thought you were foreign with a bad spell checker." Neo Vox muttered. Neo Vox quickly dodged a small ball of flame that nearly took his head off. "Hey, watch it!" he protested. "Hey, yourself," Skrib, who threw the fireball replied. "I resemble that remark." "Cute. But thet well sive ya groy mittens." replied the Doc. "We don't had groy mittens?" replied Ramna X. "I think our minds is what the Doc wants." replied Skrib. "He speaks the truth," W4, still white as a ghost, muttered. "Dear God, does he speak the truth." Ranma X. smirked. "Well, look at the bright side. If YOU had captured me, you'd be on the wrong end of a elmekia blade right now." "Your stores for taday are a lit bit of a short my me. It's called 'Pokemon Oav' and I hope it's goes down like a avil in our stomach. And the main thing to day is a strange Sailor Moon fan-fic, called 'Embryonic Eclipse', which makes my stories like a bit seriesable." "Two fanfics?" Skrib shuddered. "And you say they're more convoluted than yours?" W4 eeped and groaned, "If my fellow riffers don't pulverize me, the stories will." Kate just grinned and waved her spear. "Sorry, you might be needing the advil for proofreading it." Neo Vox thought. "They is none time like the prisent. Tme for ya to get a whiff of the Mad Writer's fine skill. BWAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH" "Hey, Kate? Can I borrow your spear?" W4 asked hopefully. "No," Kate answered, clutching it like a favorite plushie. "I think I'm going to need it." "Hey, gerroff! Stoppit!" Everyone turned to see a gray kitten trying to eat the ice cream off Neo Vox's head. "Hoi!" The kitten stopped and looked over Neo Vox's head. "Sorry, but I like chocolate," it said. "Awww...cute," Kate said. The kitten hopped off of Neo Vox's head and rubbed against Kate's leg. It then stopped when it realized that she was wearing armor, and walked away in disinterest. Kate sighed sadly. Skrib licked his lips. "Mmm... kittens..." "That is SO gross..." Ranma X commented. "Hey," Skrib shrugged. "I'm a growing Dragon." "Hey! Diane! Send the fake facts!" the Doc shouted. "Take facts silding." replied Diane. "We got the FAN-FICTION SIGN!" replied Kate. "Great! Let's go!" */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */DOOR TIME\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* 8. It's cooked hamburger with cheese with lettuce and tomato. The riffers eat their way through. Afterwards, Kate replies "Need catsup." 7. It's a door covered with 20 locks. There is a note with instructions on how to open it, but it's written in Thinkerese. One kick from Ramna X makes the door history. "OOSHA!!" Ranma X. yells, causing everyone to look at him. "What?" 6: Made out of living venus fly traps... was eaten for a second, then, the thing burps. 5: A barricade hastily built by evil penguins. The riffers pass through by bribing them with corn dogs. 4:A slow monorail arrives carrying you to the next door. 3: An elevator. You go inside, while hearing a muzak version of the Foo Fighters' Everlong. 2: A door with a sign on it that says, "This is absolutely not a door, really." You ignore it and go through. 1: It's a slide. You slide down into the theather. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* > POKEMON OAV Vol #1 -- "Press Start" by Skrib: I don't care about pressing Start. I want the RESET button, or I'm gonna be pressing charges soon. > Dr. Thinker Lord Thinker: [over loudspeakers] That's "LORD Thinker!" Ranma X.: [snickers] Crazy doctors... they always like to play God. Dr. Thinker: [over loudspeakers] Oh, my characters someitme has a life of them of they own. Don't mind them. Messila: [over loudspeaker] Got to catch them all! W4: Huh. It's just worse. >########################################### > Note 1: All Pokemon characters are > owned by Nintendo. Ranma X.: And here I was thinking they were owned by Satan. Silly me. > Note 2: E-mail me at > winkstwo@sssnet.com > Note 3: Don't think > Gary is the last fight in this > universe. He's got trouble female worst > then the anime version of Misty. Ranma X.: Um...I'll be sure to remember that ...yeah... Skrib: (confused) Remember wha...? Neo Vox: So Gary has 'female trouble'? Kate: Please tell me this isn't a Ranma crossover. W4: This isn't a Ranma crossover. Kate: Thank you. > ########################################## Neo Vox: The pound sign chorus line! > Ash Ketchum is looking awe at the > Pokemon Reaserch Station in Pallet > Town. Ash is feeding the six Pokemon. Skrib: The last six remaining pokemon after a string of habitat destruction and mass poaching... > He tells each one belongs to his only > friend reminder in the Oak side, and W4 : Come...to the Oak side! Ranma X. : Never, father! > their aren't the Prof's private pets. > The Marrwok, the Fearrow, the Magaton, > the Persian, Ninetails, Blastorstie. Zeek: Blastorstie? You mean there's ANOTHER Pokemon? [Zeek flips out his bow and thunks a few arrows in to the wall] W4: What was the point of that? Zeek: Relaxation. > Ash had passed a easy test to own > Pokemon at just pets. Zeek : Question 1! Do you want to own a Pokemon as a pet? NeoVox : Um... er... damn it! And I studied so hard last night, too! > Jane Oak goes in. Ranma X.: And out... In... out... in... out... in... AAGH! (hits himself with a spatula) What am I doing?!? Skrib: You miss Jonatan, don't you? > Jane Oak is Gary's sister. Ash tells > her Pokemon had been feeded. Skrib: ...to the grinder. Kate: (wincing) Ow. > But Ash > heards familar foot of boots. It's Gary > Oak. Kate: Thought it was the mailman for a sec. > Ash ask Gary why he's here. Zeek : Hey, I can do this myself! > Gary > remarks "Don't you know it's your own > birthday whimp?" Neo Vox: Well he doesn't realize a girl loves him, his mom is sleeping with professor Oak, or that James is even gay, so...I guess Ash could forget his own birthday... Skrib: (blinks) Wha..? Prof and Mrs. Ketchum?!? (eyes glaze over) Wooo... Ranma X.: (baps Skrib over the head with the battle spatula) Hentai. > Ash replieds "Yeah. I do. That means I > get a Pokemon and I think you were born > two day later?" Skrib: Oro? This is kinda... confusing. Ranma X.: Understatement of the fic. > "Wrong. Mr. Ketchum. I was born on th > same time as you!" W4 [Gary]: See? I got the birth certificate! Skrib [Ash]: Do they print birth certificates on cocktail napkins in crayon? > The stomping of Prof. Oak, forces Ash > and Gary to close there mouths. W4: Because we all know what a menacing and frighenting bastard Professor Oak can be. [rolls eyes] Oy. > "Well, > looks like we had rivals in the > making." remarks Prof. Oak. Zeek: Naw...What ever gave you THAT idea? Ranma X.: Rivals? So that's what they call murderous arch-enemies nowadays... > Ash reflects on his mother W4:Reflects on his mother, sounds like something a mirror would do more than a kid. > and his > father were Pokemon trainer back when > they was only 4 PokeGyms: Posion, > Fighting, Water, and Rock. Neo Vox: Thought the gyms were DX, Kane, Rock and Angle. Kate: Now you know they're Leonheart, Dincht, Loire and Kinneas, the best of all! > Now Ash > notes that they are 7 Gyms now, but > since the locations of each kind of > Pokemon are different then normal. Skrib: He's not kidding. I mean, we've never heard of Posion Pokemon before... > He > doesn't know what Pokemon he needs to > kick the new Leader's Pokemon back to > the nearest Pokecenter. RanmaX: He'd been kicking Pokemon long distance since he was six to accomplish this. Zeek: Kick the Pikachu! > Gary gets impation and picks up a > Charamander. Then Ash pick the right > Pokemon giving Ash a Squirte. Skrib: But these Pokemon were in heat, so they screwed 'till the c-*CLONK!!*--OWWSS!!! W4: That was...different. > Squirte > sprays Charamander with water, forces > Squrite to run past Gary and outside. > Gary is mad as a wet hen and he's going > to him back. RanmaX : CLUCK CLUCK! Kate : It's back to Foster Farms with you! Zeek: Hmm...chicken. Where's the bars? [gets up and walks around a bit] Kate: Bars? Zeek: Yea, to provide the drinks...Wait, you don't have any here do you? *sigh* > Prof. Oak tries > unsuccessly to stop his laughing. All: KEEP LAUGHING!!! W4: It's for a good cause. Neo Vox: You can lose weight. > > As Ash walks away from Pallet, he > founds a group of small Rattatas. Ranma X: Who all had the PokePlague. > > Ash gets one Kate: Just gets it? How boring... Zeek: If anyone says anything at all. > and walks on and right > into nest of Pidgey. Most of the Pidgey > gets out, but one gust Ash's > Charamander and it's atacks him. Ramna X: BEEP! CONTINUITY ERROR! ZEEK: They is no error! Kate: Ash got a Squirte, not Charamander! W4: Doc is alien. Doc T: (over P.A.) Cute! > > Ash meats up with a Sparrow and uses > Pidgey to attack him. Kate: Poor little Sparrow. Zeek: Not like they got powers or anythin' ...and meats up with one? They don't really have enough meat on them... Skrib: For that matter, Sparrows don't exist in Pokemon. Unless Dr. Thinker was referring to Spearows... > He gets three > Pokemon. Ash walks right into the > locaton Pokemon Center, whee he meets a > Nurse Joy. Kate : Actually, my name is Miranda, and my hair is short and br- Skrib : Hi, Nurse Joy! Kate : [grumbles] > As soon as Ash sits down. He gets a > call of his mother. As mother > complaints him on getting to Viridain > faster then his father. W4: She complains at Ash for arriving at civilization faster than his father did?! Skrib: Well, she was probably having some fun with Professor Oak and all... ^_^ > His father > tooked 6 days to get to their. Ash > makes a note that they must had been a > huge forest back when his father was 10 > years old. After Ash's mother hangs up > and Prof. Oak calls in. Prof. Oak ask > if Ash had any new Pokemon? Ash tells > he got three Pokemon. Prof. Oak jumps > up and does a dance and a weird poetry > (The following). > Skrib: ...paragraph however, is NOT poetry, or even entertaining. At least if I'm in Gary's shoes... > Gary thought you Don't had a enough > Skill To Even Catch Another Pokemon > He bet a million dollar on that And > he lost that bet! He's going had to > face a lot Of Pokemon trainers To pay > me off! Zeek : Oh, how I enjoy making a slave out of my grandson! > The peom is follow by a strange laugh. Skrib: To be honest, it's really hard for Professor Oak to laugh right when Mrs. Ketchum is holding his... Kate: (glaring dangerously) Don't make me hurt you, Dragon. Skrib: (shrinks away) Eeep. > Prof. Oak tells Ash to keep up the good > work and signs off. > Skrib: ...I'm not saying anything. Ranma X.: Good. > The next morning, Ash is scared by a > gang of motorcycles riders and he tries > to get away from them by entering the > old buding on Virdain Hill. He founds > no Pokemon, but a clue to something, a > strange list of strange names in red > ink on black papper. Kate: Ah...ah....ah...WACHOOO! Oh poopie. > Ash can't figure > then out. The follow is the strange > names Raw Spar - 6 Gij P. > Guff - 3 Cel F. Airy Neo Vox [Peter Sellers]: I love you Cel F. Airy! > - 1 Sura I. > Vy - 1 Chu P. Ika - 2 Ewe Drow - > 2 S.E. Kan - 4 > > Knot bed sweep. Keep down the play. NeoVox: Cook at 350 degress for 1 hour. Let cool. Serves 6. > Soob. > > > Ranma X: This waste of space was brought to you from the Department of Redundancy Department. > Two people. The head motorcylce riders > of the gang enter. They calls tem > "Wheeler " (Looks like "Chopper") and Neo Vox: Wheeler? This is a Captain Planet Crossover now? Skrib: NO! NOT GONTERMAN!!! > "Fast Girl" (Looks like "Trya"). They > reveals that they are expects for > decoding words.And the thing changes > into a new readable thing: > Sparrow - 4 Jiggypuff - 3 > Celfairy - 1 Ivysaur - 1 > Pikachu - 2 Droweze - 2 Ekans > - 4 Zeek: Partridge w/ pear tree - 1 > > Not bad swipe. Keep up the work > Boss. Skrib (Wheeler): Now that we've finished deciphering the coded list, we're gonna kick your ass, weenie-boy! > Wheeler makes a haiku. Ranma X.(Wheeler) I'll make you so dead Bash your skull with my chain whip Ending this bad fic. > > > They are guys That make a mess > They are call Team Rocket. Zeek: THAT'S NOT HAIKU! W4: What? Zeek: Nevermind. Haiku has 17 syllables. Skrib : Dang it! Every time I call Weezing, he gets smoke and soot all over the place! Kate : And don't even get me started on Meowth's litter box! > Fast Girl takes about Team Rocket > stealing the Pokemon that ain't nail > down. Zeek: I'd like to nail some Pokemon down myself. > The gang that they lead try to > find clues that Team Rocket. Fast Girl > aslo mention is was printed on Laser > Print. They mention is was transport > letter in code Neo Vox: UNIX code! Ranma X: So they're all geeks huh? > and it's color mention > another version. Ash takes to Fast Girl Skrib:(Ash) Wow..so that's why they call you 'fast girl'...oooh.. > about Gym Leaders. Fast Girl mentions > that they is post in front of the Gym > that contain formation about the gym > leaders. W4: I got this flyer from the Poison Gym. [mock reads] "My turn-ons include candlelit dinners, romantic walks on the beach and grass-type Pokemon." Ranma X.: [mock grabs the flyer from W4] "My turn-offs are: Mean people, rock-type Pokemon, and idiot 10 year olds who think they'll just walk away with my badge!" Skrib: Can you give me that? W4: What for? Skrib: Siggy needs to lighten up. ^_^ >=========================================== > EMBRYONIC ECLIPSE by Echo > Albarn Neo Vox: No relation to Damon. >=========================================== >=========================================== > > = Peter's thoughts > > [text]= Voices in Head > Skrib: (humming Kachou O-ji theme) "'Coz there's more that can be said... with the voices in my head..." > {text}= Author Comment > > (text)= Text in Parentheses Ranma X: [They're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away!] Skrib:(This is text in parenthesis...it's pretty redundant.) Zeek: <--- This is text between arrows that I fired. ---> Neo Vox: Nice shots. > SIDE 1. TURN ON RECORD PLAYER. Neo Vox: What's that? Skrib: A horny street musician. ^_^ Ranma X: Oro?!? > ------------------------------------------ > I. Speak To Skrib: The hand, cause I'm not listening! (Skribulous holds up a hand puppet, that looks like an chibified version of his dragon form.) Kate: Aww, kawaii! Can I have one? Skrib: Nope. Only got this one. Kate: You're mean! (pouts) > Me --------------------------------------- > > "Peter, can you hear me?" Kate: o/ Can you feel me near you? o/ > W4: What do you think I am, deaf? > > "Peter, Wake Up!" Kate: This should be important, to be capitalised. > > > > "He's not responding. Call an > Ambulance!" > Skrib: (shouting) AMBULANCE! > "WAAAAAAAH! I'm so scared!" > > "Shut Up, Usagi!" > > W4: Zeek: What reality? > > "AHHH!" Peter Slovinsky sat up > and screamed. Skrib: Whoa, he sounds like a girl. > The teenaged girls that > surrounded him attempted to keep him > down, but he sat up anyway. RanmaX: He regretted it when his arms were ripped from his sockets. Kate: How? Oh, the bedposts. > Blood > poured from his shoulder. RanmaX: Shoulders. > Still > screaming, he gripped his wounds. > Luckily for him, his eyes rolled back > in his head, and Peter collapsed again. W4: I'm a pretty superstitious guy, but I'm not about to believe that bleeding to death is a sign of good luck. > ------------------------------------------ > II. Breathe In the > Air -------------------------------------- All:(Singing) Don't be afraid to care... W4: Breathe in....Breathe out...Breathe in... > ------------------------------------------ > > off?> Kate:(Mom) I did, because you're wasting electricity and money! And another thing... > > [I did.] (Skribulous turns to Kate nervously.) Kate: What?!? Skrib: (little child voice) You are one scary lady. Kate: Oh, come on, like a person can't make one correct guess once in a while? > > > [I didn't know you were there. > Here, I'll turn it on.] W4: Ahh, too bright, too bright... What is this, a 60 watt bulb?! > > > [It doesn't matter.] Ranma X.: So Peter is essentially Cloud with more schizophrenia and none of the cool powers? > Peter awoke with a start. Skrib: And that's why we couldn't press START in the previous fic. This guy was hogging the button all this time... > A Zeek: A what? > woman dressed all in white pushed him > gently back down onto a bed. W4: The Lady Galadriel? Skrib: A WHITE LADY!!! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (A frightened Skrib turns SD and runs around for a while in the theater, until Ranma X decides to clonk him one on the head with the Battle Spatula.) Neo Vox: A chinese dragon, huh? (OOC: A White Lady is the equivalent of Death where I come from. Seeing one usually means that your will die soon, and horribly.) > "Hush, dear," she said, "Are > you feeling better? Don't answer. Just > nod. And breathe." Neo Vox : Actually, I'm feeling pretty lousy. I'm still bleeding, and I need to vom- Kate : NOD AND BREATHE, PUNY MORTAL! Neo Vox : [whimpers] Yes, ma'am. [nods and breathes] Skrib: (nursing a bump on his head) Scary lady... > Peter nodded. And breathed. Zeek:(Mock offense) Well I'd hope so! > "Good," the nurse said, "Now > that you're awake, I want to tell you > you're not going anywhere for a long > while. Zeek: You kinda broke every bone in your entire body. Kate [Nurse]: But, I can feed you lunch. Skrib: And give him sponge baths. > You broke your leg in two > places, your ankle and your other arm, > as well as taking a bullet in the > shoulder, which we've already removed. Zeek: You mean he wasn't hurt more? W4: Doesn't seem like it. Zeek: We coulda shortened this thing quite a bit if he died there. > You've just woken up from a coma that > lasted for three days, but we are > allowing you one special group of > visitors." > > > > "Namely the ones who almost > tore down this hospital to see you." Kate(Peter): Oh! The people who were trying to kill me? > Ranma X.: Wow! They came? right there?! In front of...oh god no!(hits himself with spatula) Kate: What *have* you been doing in your spare time, Ranma? > The nurse stepped outside, > leaving Peter to his thoughts...and the > obligatory FLASHBACK SEQUENCE... Zeek: Diddly-loop, diddly-loop, diddly-loop. Neo Vox: Why not pour water over the camera? > At > the beginning, of course. I started off Skrib: In my mother's womb singing Yes songs. > in the eighties, as a stunt > motorcyclist Neo Vox: Evel Kneivel? > in Otomo's "Akira". They > needed a European...hell, this is > Anime...like you can tell the > nationality of anyone. W4:Yeah, after all, It's 'animated'! Sheesh... > Anyway, while I > later found bit parts in other anime, I > trained behind the scenes, learning the > filmmaker's trade. W4: You know, scmooze, bribing, killing... > Then came the big > break, as I got a phone call one day > from Naoko Takeuchi, asking for my > assistance on-set for her new series. I > thought it was going to be some kind of > boating series, W4: Naoko Takeuchi's....Osaka Vice! > it ended up > being...well, SM. Now I'm the director, Ranma X.: Is it just me, or does this have too many Gonterman overtiones? Neo Vox: Don't GET me started... Skrib: (groans) Not Gonterman again... > working directly under Naoko, and I was > in the camera rig whe-> [A loud crack is heard in the theatre] W4: You knocked him out of his flashback didn't you, Kate? (Kate hides the Valkyrie Lance behind her back) Kate: I have no idea what you're talking about. > A voice bursts through the > reverie, "Peter! You wouldn't believe > what we had to pull to get them to let > us in here..." Skrib (Usagi): I mean, Minako had to strip in front of... (shrinks visibly at the sight of Kate waving the Valkyrie at his face) ...er, forget I said that. > In seconds, the small, private > room was filled with females (& one > guy). They all gathered around the bed > and gaped at the bandaged form therein. Skrib: This guy is now my worst enemy. Neo Vox: Yeah, me too. > Peter smiled and they all relaxed. The > guy stepped forward. > > "Hi, Peter," he said. > > "Hey, Dare," was the reply. Skrib : But it came from a Snotling from "Warhammer 40000" that carried towels around. Confusion followed. Zeek: He's stuck in the other theatre, Mr. Narrator. > A Zeek: A! A man A! > bandaged hand was raised. It was taken > and shook, rather gently. > > "They treating you all right?" RanmaX [Peter]: NO. The food sucks and I can't move an inch. > "Eh. It's a hospital. Besides, > I just woke up...huh?" > > Peter craned his neck to look > behind him. He saw a black-haired girl > injecting something into his IV line. Zeek: Yep, definitely cyanide. > Poking her in the ribs with a finger, > he asked, "And what are YOU doing, Miss > Rei?" Neo Vox:(Miss Rei) Just injecting your usual narcotics. > "Oh, this? It's some medicine I > got off of Washu. It's got extract of > Senzu Bean, LCL, some Nannichuan Water, > and a bunch of other stuff. You should > be feeling better in a few seconds." All: WHAT??!!?!?!?! Skrib: Urge to rant... rising... Ranma X.: I think any and all continuity just went out of the window.... Kate: Urgh...crossover...gahhh... Neo Vox: Unfortunately, the Nannicuan water turned all of his blood cells into men. Messiness ensued. > Sure enough, the stuff worked, > & Peter jumped to his feet, dancing and > hugging the various senshi, even > ignoring the fact that his "gown" > barely covered his back and was > entirely too short. Nobody seemed to > care about that, as many an evening had > been spent with one or more of them W4: [shaking his head in confusion] So he's cured in a few seconds and none of them realizes and/or cares he's practically naked?! Skrib : Is that a bulge in your gown, or are you just happy to be cured? > were dining at Peter's apartment, in > tears about the latest "lemon" fanfic > forced upon them. Kate : [sniffles] This Akane/Butterfree lemon... it's so touching! Zeek: But tears gave way to screams of terror when they discovered that the lemon came from the Grey Archive. [All shudder.] > Slovinsky always made > Chicken Paprikash, and the cast had > acquired quite a taste for it. > Nevertheless, Peter was up and dancing > about. Kate: Until Tuxedo Kamen and Goukuu told them it wasn't funny anymore... > ------------------------------------------ > III. On The Run >------------------------------------------- All: (whispering quickly) On the run... on the run... [Neo Vox is really singing "On a rope, on a rope, got him hanging on a rope.] Skrib: ...from diehard fans for violating their sacred canon... Ranma X.: Okay... So the titles are named after titles of Pink Floyd Songs? W4: Apparently so. > Okay, a few hours have just > passed. Skrib (narrator): Maybe it was actually a few days, or even a few minutes in reality. But I'm the author of this fanfic, and whatever I say goes! There's nothing you can do about it! Nothing, you hear! Nothing! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA--*CLONK* Ow... Ranma X: Stop channeling Jonatan. Kate: Thanks, Ran. > Peter was back in his office, > sitting in the corner, behind his > cloud-white, custom-made drum kit. He > was currently wearing headphones, and Skrib: Nothing else. > playing along with whatever song was > being played therein. For this reason, > he neither heard nor saw the persons > knocking at the door. Eventually, > whomever it was got highly impatient, > and the door exploded. Peter DID notice > this. Kate: I'd kinda *hope* so. > He did not, however, get up from > his stool. The two persons, one about a > head taller than the other, came > through the doorway, and looked around > for Peter. What they found were two > keenly thrown drumsticks impacting with > their skulls. > Ranma X: There was a resounding crack, and the two newcomers fell over, dead. Peter was later arrested for double murder. > "Jeez, I just had that door > replaced last week!" Zeek: Just like every other week, go in, listen to music, have two people explode my doorway, and then throw drumsticks at them... it happens. > Rubbing their heads, they > walked over to Peter, who had risen > from his seat. Peter spoke first. Neo Vox : shUb-nIggUrAth! thE blAck gOAt In thE fOrEst wIth A thOUsAnd chIl- [shakes head] -er... um... what I meant to say was... > "Zoë, Kunnie, how's it been?" > > The two generals exchanged a > shifty look. > > "It's been...weird," Zoicite > said. Neo Vox:(Zoicite) Kunzite doesn't want to make love to me anymore!! Kate:(Kunzite) It's just that I feel I don't have enough space and... > Kunzite elaborated. "Except for > your," his eyes narrowed, "accident, > it's all been little things lately. Ranma X.:(Kunzite) No one's had to change your diaper, Peter, so that was a plus and... > Videotapes disappearing, Unlocked > doors, Moved equipment...and someone > installed a coffeemaker." W4: NO! Not the coffemaker! Anything but the coffemaker! Zeek: Cool! More caffiene! Ranma X. : Yeah! And someone finally cleaned the guy's bathroom. Weird... > Peter looked confused. > "A... coffeemaker? Why?" Zeek: For the caffeine of course. W4: Addicted to coffee, Zeek? Zeek: No, caffeine. > "No-one knows," Zoicite began > to speak again. "Least of all, Naoko. > She's ready to put filming on hiatus > 'till she can figure out what's going > on," he lowered his voice a few > notches. "I think she should, she's > stressed out enough as-is." > > Peter shook his head. "Phew. > I'd better go talk to her...By the > way..." Kate : For God's sake, stop wearing my dresses! > "Hmn?" > > "The two of you were on the set > when they- you know. Did you see > anything?" Skrib (Zoicite): Sorry, Peter. We were too busy making out to notice. > "Zoë & I only saw what we > already told police. Someone was > running away at the time, but they got > away before we could catch them & find > out who it was." > > Zoicite muttered, "We do know > it wasn't Nav." > > Peter contemplated that for a > moment. "Yeah. For one thing, he > wouldn't have been aiming at me, and if > he was, I wouldn't be here now." He > paused, then said, Skrib : I am the eggplant! I am the walrus! Coo Coo ca-choo! Neo Vox : That's nice... you've been overdosing on your meds again, haven't you? Skrib : Well Miss Rei... Neo Vox : Oh... drugs again. > "Well, thanks for > coming in and talking to me. I'm gonna > see if I can talk to Naoko." The two > villains shook his hand, then exited. > > the rig, about 40' up, shooting another > one of those "We are the villains and > we're laughing maniacally 'cause W4: Our villainous outfits really tickle. > we've > got another ingenious plan that won't > work" scenes with Kunnie & Zoë, and the > girls were just coming from backstage > for their setup, when my shoulder > just...exploded. I fell. I got my leg > caught in the rigging, and that's when > I screwed up my ankle, Zeek: *looks around* No Comment. > then I fell the > rest of the way, and landed on my hand, > crushing my wrist.> > > Peter thought for a moment > more, then picked his phone up off his > desk and dialed. > > "Moshi, Moshi. You've reached > the offices of Naok-" Click. > > Peter hung up. Something was > not right. Skrib : My Jelly donut was raspberry, not strawberry, those bastards... > And was he ever correct. Neo Vox : Jif does have the taste of fresh roasted peanuts! > Naoko wasn't in her office. Ranma X.: Geez, can't she have some privacy while in the bathroom? > She wasn't in the building. W4: So she was in a ramen shop eating lunch. > She wasn't at home. Zeek: Duh! She's at work! > She had vanished. Kate : I'm tired of this senshi crap! I'm gonna make me a mecha series instead! With some cute bishounen martial artist pilots! Ooh! And I'll even have a very depressing artsy ending about God and Humanity which will alienate my entire audience!!! Eep!(claps both hands over her mouth.) Skrib: (blinks) Really scary lady is talking Thinkerese too... > ------------------------------------------ > IV. > Time-------------------------------------- Ranma X: I feel like I should be reading the script to The Wizard of Oz at the same time as I read this. Skrib: It'll be a lot less painful if you do. > ------------------------------------------ > > Ami sat at the table and poked > at her chicken. It was another one of > those nights. Peter sat opposite her, Ranma X.: It was happy Hour on Friday. > still clad in his chef's apron. He > nearly mirrored her actions, poking at > his own serving of chicken. Suddenly, > he looked up, catching Ami's eye. Neo Vox : Stop throwing that around. You might lose it. Kate : Sorry. > She > jerked her head upward to meet his > gaze. He smiled. W4(Peter): How do you like American food? Skrib(Ami): It's okay, but it so greasy... > "Do ya wanna help me figure > this thing out?", he asked. Neo Vox(Peter): This Rubix Cube is SOO HARD! > Sometime later, a white > motorcycle pulled up to the chainlink > fence that surrounded the studios. Ranma X: 'Hobgoblins' flashbacks... > Being at least something of a > gentleman, Peter helped Ami off the > bike. Pulling off her helmet, she > asked, Zeek : Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten while hot dog buns come in packages of eight? W4 : How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Kate : Why isn't there a word that rhymes with "orange?" > "Tell me again why we're here." > Peter smiled. "Moi, explaining Kate: Ooh. He MUST know French since he said 'Moi'... > plot points to Miss Exposition, > herself? W4: When did Ayame get in here? > Alright. We're going to bust > into the studio, find out what the > heck's going on, and get out before > anyone catches us." Skrib: Even though they work there. > "Even though we work here." W4: Good call. Skrib: (eyetwitch) ...No comment. Kate: Hah! It's contagious! > "Nobody trusts anybody anymore, Ranma X.(Peter): Not since the new Exec Fox Mulder started here... > it's really sad." Neo Vox : Hee hee hee hee hee.. Kate : I thought you said it was sad. Neo Vox : Oh. Oops. Boo hoo hoo. > She nodded and shrugged out of > Peter's spare biking coveralls. She was > dressed in dark slacks, a black shirt, > and sneakers. The diminutive Peter was > dressed in his usual jeans and t-shirt. > He stuffed the suits into the seat > compartment. He looked at Ami. "Are you > ready?" Kate(Ami): I guess so, self-insertion man. > "Sure." > > "Alright. You have my > flashlight?" > > "Umm...here. I got it." > > "Good. Hold onto it." Peter > took a few steps back, ran forward, and > jumped. Ranma X: Unfortunately, he leapt right into a bottomless pit. The end. > This action gained him a few > extra feet, and he was over the fence > some seconds later. Looking upward, Ami > began to climb at a slightly slower > pace, her only comment being, "Thank > goodness I'm not doing this in a fuku." W4: Oh. Haha. This is humourous since she normally does this stuff in a fuku on a fake television show within an even faker story. Ha ha... someone shoot me. > Having made it over the fence, > our intrepid heroes (yay...) Skrib: (sarcastic) ...my, how inspiring. > crouched > down and began to sneak across the > moonlit field towards the large > concrete building that housed the SM > studios. As they approached the wall, > Ami tugged on Peter's shoulder. [Skib makes a loud, snapping noise.] Ranma X : Ouch! The bones didn't mend yet! > "Hold up. Look over there." > > Peter did so, and he saw a > shadowy figure crouching in front of > the side door. "Right," he whispered. > "Who'dya think it is?" Kate: Irvine! Wai... W4: Twoflower? Neo Vox: Kibo! Zeek: Tedd koppel? Skrib: Can't be. It's female... > "I've got no idea." > > "Let's find out." > > They began to creep Ranma X.: Oh they creep me out alright... > towards the > figure. It did not seem to notice them. > Halting just a foot or so behind the > person, Peter suddenly grabbed them by > their shoulders, and slammed them up > against the wall. Ami turned the > flashlight on, blinding the person. > > But they weren't blind enough > to react. > > "Owww! What the heck?" > > Peter suddenly noticed that > there was a fist coming towards his > face at a painful speed. Impact was > made, knocking the filmmaker off his > feet. W4 (Rick Moranis): Uhh....he did it! > "Makoto! Oh, I'm so sorry!" Ami > said. > > Rubbing her eyes, the Senshi of > Jupiter made her response: "That's > okay, but who was the baka who grabbed > me?" > > "That..." she gestured here to > the person lying out cold on the > ground, "was Peter." > > > Skrib: (blinks) Huh? That was sudden... > [You're still here.] Zeek: Don't remind us. > > > [That is correct.] Neo Vox : You are correct, sir! YES! HOO-AH! > > > [Myself.] > > Ranma X.:I know what you are, but what am I? > [That is true.] > > W4: Oh, If only we knew... > [I have to tell you something.] > > Skrib([] guy): [I love you Spartacus.] > "WAKE UP! WAKEY-WAKEY! C'MON > PETER! GET UP!" Makoto's voice rang out > across the field, and Peter could feel > a pair of hands slapping his (now > bruised) face in a somewhat gentle > fashion. Somewhat. > > "OW! Damn it, I'm awake...geez." He > turned to Makoto. > "Hell of a left there, kiddo." > She shrugged. "What'd you > expect?" > Skrib: (grinning) Well... Ranma X: Don't you dare! Skrib: ... Kate: ^_^ > Some minutes later, the trio > had opened the side door and entered > the studio, with thanks to Peter's ring > of keys. When they got inside, W4: They tripped and fell into a pile of Cool-Whip. No one understood why. Skrib <[] guy>: You're covered in Cool Whip. Zeek <<> guy>: That is true. Skrib <[] guy>: The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other sides. Zeek <<> guy>: That is true, too. Skrib <[] guy>: You want to give me all of your money. Zeek <<> guy>: Two out of three ain't bad. > they > found the entire complex to be dark. > Peter frowned, and felt along the > walls. Ami turned the flashlight on > Peter. With such luminary assistance, Kate: Luminary asistance? Skrib: How'd Usagi get here?!? Zeek: Shouldn't that be lunary assistance, then? W4: Is that even a word? Zeek: It is now. > he was soon able to find the light > switch, which he flicked on and off, to > no avail. Upon the flicking of the > switch, Makoto frowned. Walking across > the hallway, she flicked it herself. > Up. down. Up-down. Up. Down-up. Ranma X.: Yeah yeah, Up-down Up-down. (hits himself) Ah! I wish NeoVid were here to help me. > Peter grinned. "Yes, I do know > how to use a light swi-" Zeek(Peter):-ng set! > "SHH!" Makoto shushed him as > effectively as she had knocked him out. Kate(Ami): Makoto! Your SHHing made him unconscious! > "What is it, Makoto?" Ami > asked. > > "Listen to the noise this > switch is making." She clicked it up > and down a few more times for effect. > "It's unnecessarily loud." W4 : That, and it's mooing like a cow. > "Like you." Peter said > pointedly, "We are sneaking around in > here." Kate : Honestly? I would never have guessed! > Makoto groaned. "C'mon, let's > get moving." > > The intrepid trio (huh?) Ranma X.: That's what we're all asking ourselves. Zeek: This is like a bad Scooby Doo episode with either Peter or Makoto as Scooby. Neo Vox : If you face the villain, Peter, I'll give you a Scooby Snack! > began > to sneak down the hall. Peter was doing > his best James Bond impression, W4: Which one, Sean Connery? Roger Moore? Kate: I think Peter is more of an Leslie Neilsen, if you ask me... > creeping down the hallway. Ami was > walking slowly and quietly, a curious > look on her face. Makoto, to the > others' chagrin, was stomping down the > corridor like nothing was wrong. Soon > enough, they came to Soundstage #1, the > place where all the apartment shots > were filmed. Peter opened the door and > looked inside. Ranma X.: No no! Soundstage #2! Kate: No No! Number 3! Neo Vox: Take the Money!! W4: Take the mystery box! Zeek: Take me home! > Nothing. > > Soundstage #2: The School & > Town Locations. > > Nothing. > > Proceeding to the third and > final stage, the heroines and quasi- > hero paused outside the door. > > They spoke simultaneously: > > "My, how...cliche." W4: cliche? not cliché? > Peter commented, "It's obvious, > if anything's in this place..." > Skrib: We'd have found it by now. > Makoto picked up, "It'd be in > here, the only place we didn't > check..." > > Ami finished, "The > Special-Effects Stage, where the most > bizarre things can and do happen." Zeek: Like the Star Trek transporter scene and Queen Beryl's Makeup. > Peter thought for a moment, > then pulled out a pair of well-worn > sunglasses. Neo Vox: So Peter also doubles as Rei from Kodomo no Omocha? > Makoto frowned. "Time out, > When'd you join the Blues Brothers?" > she asked. Zeek(Peter): I have a contract with Dan Akroyd so that when he kicks the bucket I get his job. Or he can kill John Goodman for me. > Peter paused, just prior to > putting the glasses on. "If you'd have > noticed, every time we go into the > effects sequence for you girls to > transform, I don't need to be blinded > by the light show." Neo Vox: You mean to say that during the transformation sequences, in which girls your age were temporarily naked, YOU WERE LOOKING AT THE LIGHTS?!? > "That makes sense," Ami said. Skrib: NO! NO IT DOESN'- (Ranma X baps Skrib with his combat spatula.) Skrib: Thanks. I needed that. > "I ALSO have some sense of > manners and I don't want to be staring > at naked pre-teenagers," said Peter. He Ranma X.: Wait wait Hold the phone! He wears the sunglasses so he won't be blinded and thus NOT see the girls? W4: Oh yeah...Peter a pedophile as well... not surprising really. Skrib(Peter): I rather non-chalantly look at them through sunglasses rather than outright stare at them. h_h > put the shades on. He stuck his fingers > into his ears. He was ready. > > The transformation sequence > began... Zeek: I'm really confused now. So they're in a world where Sailor Moon is a TV show *and* real at the same time? Kate: Looks like it. Zeek: Then should they NOT be on TV and like, use their powers for good and stuff? Skrib: They're also in it for the money, but you'll never see THAT on TV. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Kate: The dash key must be stuck! > V. The Great Gig in the > Sky--------------------------------------------- Skib: Or the End of Pete. (All cheer.) Zeek: You mean God has a rock band? Neo Vox: Yea, if you worship that god. Zeek: Oh. Skrib: Well, that explains Jesus Christ Superstar. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Peter waited for some thirty > seconds. Before he could move, though, > he was tapped on the shoulder. He > pulled his fingers out of his ears, put > away the sunglasses, and looked at > Sailors Jupiter and Mercury, both ready > to beat the living crap out of anything > that got in their way. Neo Vox: Yeah. We all know what a sadistic action junkie Ami can be. > "Well," he said, his voice > taking on a bitter edge. "I bet every > fanboy on earth would want to be where > I am now. Two of the most lusted- after > senshi within ten feet of me...I am the > luckiest guy ever!" He shook his head. Skrib: (shakes his head) I give up. That idiot's more dense than Tenchi Masaki. Kate: Sweatdrop time! > The above-mentioned girls > sweat-dropped. NeoVox: You looked ahead! Kate: Did not! W4: Okay... am I the ONLY person in here that just can't pull that off? Ranma X: Yes. W4: Well, damn. > Ami leaned over to Makoto, > whispering, "Is this really the Peter > we've been working with for years?" Kate: (Makoto) No. He's Peter Pan. (The rest snicker.) > Makoto whispered back, "I don't > know..." Zeek (Makoto): After all, your the smart one. > Peter suddenly grinned. "C'mon! > I'm kidding! It's not the end of the > world, is it?" > Skrib: (snorts) You never know, SI-boy... > A few minutes later, Ranma X: The world ended. Zeek : Not the end of the world... Why I oughta... > the door > was finally opened. Zeek: Who's there? W4(????):Boo. Neo Vox: AHHHH! > The large blue platform used > for CG sequences reared above the > stage. Skrib: Describe the inside of Peter's head! > It was empty. Skrib: That's what I thought. Zeek: An empty room going boo? > It was also rather > dark, so they could not be sure of > that. Peter crossed to the right and > went to the control terminal. After a > few moments of toe-stubbing, cursing, > and general blindness, he found the > lighting panel, and attempted to > activate the studio lights. These, like > those outside, didn't respond. At this > revelation, Ami came over and gave > Peter some light so he could find his > way out of the cluttered control room. > By the time the two of them had made it > out, they noticed that Makoto had gone. > > Peter was ticked. "Where'd she > go?" > > Ami was in no mood for rants. Skrib: Well, I am...mmrmgrmh! W4: (covering Skrib's mouth) We have had enough of that, Skrib. Kate : I was in the mood for Fettucini Alfredo served with a white wine, but that's besides the point. > "How should I know? We're not going to > find her by just standing here." > > "Right." > > The two moved across the stage, > searching for some sign of their > companion. A flash of light and the > sound of impact coming from the editing > room was their first clue. > > "DON'T USE ELECTRICITY!" Peter > yelled. > > "WHAT????" Makoto yelled back. > > ZZZZAPPPP > > equipment.> Kate: At least the other half... > ZZZZAPPPP Kate: ...is toast. (snickers) > cliche.> > W4: (turns to Kate) Stop that. Kate: Jealous, Woofer? > Ami and Peter burst through the > doorway of the editing suite, then > looked at each other in shock... Ranma X: In shock. Because there was electricity. W4: (winces) Erk. Puns. Neo Vox: They're not conducting themselves very well. W4: (winces some more) Ack! Zeek: But they'll have amp-le time to find the culprit. W4: (winces yet again) ARGH! Zeek: Could be worse W4... W4: How? Zeek: Could be monks going "Ohm.....Ohm..." W4: (winces) AIEEEE! > Again, they spoke > simultaneously..."Another cliche," they > said in a wondering voice. > > Makoto was on the other side of > the room, struggling with a large, > demonic-looking creature. > > It was brown and winged. > > It was horned and scaly. > > It was ugly and mean-looking. Skrib: And it can be yours for 4 easy installments of $19.95! Order today! > And, by God, did it ever SMELL! > > {Ugh, even I'M descending into > cliche} > (Sound of brick wall breaking.) Skrib: (facepalms) And the fourth wall didth collapse. > Anyway, the creature then did > something completely unexpected. It > picked the weakest person in the room > and launched a ki-blast at them. RanmaX: Huh. That was actually...intelligent. What's the world coming to? > > > Peter lay unconscious once > more. W4: Which didn't make much sense since the blast missed him by a good three yards. Skrib : Mommy! (passes out) Kate : Wuss. > Ami fired off a blast of > bubbles, blinding the creature. Makoto > stumbled away, and came up alongside > Ami. > > "Go call Usagi!" Makoto yelled, > "And get Peter out of here!" > > However, the creature had its > own plans. It launched another attack, > this time aiming at the ceiling. > Through the rain of debris, it then > glared at the two senshi, and extended > its until-now folded wings. With a > mighty scream, it launched itself > upward, towards the hole in the roof. > The girls could do nothing but watch as > the beast flew away. > > Silence reigned for a few > moments, then the girls heard a voice > from the roof. > > "Alright monster, for making me > get up in the middle of the night, I > punish you!" > > Ami and Makoto looked at each > other. "Usagi?" Kate : No. I'm Ami. Ranma X : And I'm Makoto. Skrib : And I'm Peter. Wake me when the danger's over so I can hog the credit. (passes out again) Kate : Wuss. > There was a flash of > pyrotechnics, and they began to cough > as moondust floated down onto their > heads. > > > Skrib ([] guy): No, it's not. > [I could say the same to you.] > > something.> > > [Yes, I did, but it's a little > too late] > > > > [It was about the monster in > the Editing Room.] > > late.> > > [It really couldn't be > helped...You woke up.] > > really?> Neo Vox <[] guy>: I'm Batman. > [I can't tell you. Yet.] > > are. Why the hell are you in my head?> W4 <[] guy>: I got kicked out of my apartment, and this is the only place I can afford until I get a new job. > [You're the only person who can > help.] > > > > [No, of course not. Skrib <[] guy>: I mean... just look at you. You got knocked out by one measly ki blast? You're pretty wussy, all things considered. Ranma X <<> guy>: Well, when you put it that wa- HEY! > We don't > NEED a hero. We've got more than enough > of those...] > > > > [The tapes in the editing deck > will tell you.] > > you are, can you tell me what you > are?> > > [...I'm...a female > human...about age 20...and I'm > communicating with you psychically.] Kate <[] girl>: My turn-ons include candlelit dinners and walks on the beach. > > > [I don't know. Here, really. In > your head.] > > here!> Neo Vox: We hope you enjoy your stay in beautiful, scenic Insanity! > [No, not like that...I'm not a > voice in your head...Here, let me > explain...] > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > END SIDE 1. GO STAVE YOUR MUNCHIE > CRAVINGS BEFORE FLIPPING RECORD OVER. Zeek: And after listening side 2, use record as throwing disk. ======================================================================== > ======================================================================== > ======================================================================== > > Of course, this makes about as > much sense as the first half of an > "X-Files" plot, and there are a huge > number of loose ends to tie up, Ranma X: (sarcastically) No! Really? > but the real questions are > things like- > > WHY are there > monsters in the studio? > > WHERE'S > Naoko? > Skrib: Out of this fanfic. Lucky. > IS Peter > nuts? Zeek: Yes. Next question. > AND WHY is Peter such a big > part of the story, when he's not a > self-insertion? > (Which he's not) > > ALSO, WHAT THE FRACK DOES THIS > HAVE TO DO WITH PINK FLOYD? Skrib: Absolutely nothing, as far as I can see. > All this and more, > will be answered in > > "Embryonic > Eclipse", Side 2! > > Watch > for it! > > AUTHOR NOTE: Well...Firstly. I know I > got some names mixed up (between the > USA and JAP versions), and some other > technical inaccuracies. Secondly, I'm > writing this because A- Kate: (blinks) What the... he's grading himself? > I liked the > idea of behind-the- scenes, and B- W4: Looks like he marked himself down for those <> and [] parts. > someone wrote a Lemon-Fic with a title > that made reference to "Dark Side of > the Moon", but (as far as I could tell) > had no other Pink Floyd influence. > That, I felt was just plain wrong, Ranma X: I agree. Sailor Moon Lemon-Fics ARE wrong. Skrib: I think he was referring to the fact that Pink Floyd wasn't in the lemon was wrong. Ranma X: So you're saying that Sailor Moon Lemon-Fics are RIGHT? Skrib: Um... er... I'll have to use a lifeline on that one. Zeek: You have a death wish don't you Skrib? (smiles) Skrib: (flustered) But... but... I didn't say THAT. Kate: Then what do you consider wrong? Skrib: Dismemberment pr0n. (Everyone turns green.) W4: I'll get you for that, Skrib. Zeek: Need help? *flicks out his pallidium blade, and glares at Skrib* (Skrib blinks.) > and > something had to be done about it. So, > I began to sketch out the rough outline > of side one. (the idea of tying it to > the album tracks was the first idea I > had for the fic) And here I am, at the > end of it. Side two will be along soon > enough, so snack up and keep ready. > > AUTHOR NOTE (ON NOTES): When/If you are > commenting on this work, please include > your e-mail address, so that I may > reply, with all niceties. I'll > even be nice to you when responding to > flames, so even if you want to flame > me, please include your address... Neo Vox: ...age, zip, time of birth... W4: ...social security, current state of mind... Zeek: ...favorite weapon, amount of change... Skrib: ...your preference in treatment... Kate: ...what you are doing right now... Zeek: ...and a brief description on when you will listen to side two, and we will get back with you, once we go capture our next victims, after the beep. ======================================================================== > > This is a work of Fan-Fiction. Except > it's not being written by a fan. Zeek: So someone wrote a story about a series that they don't give a rat's patoot about for no discernable reason? Neo Vox: Looks like it. > Go fig. Skrib: Been there, done that, nuked the planet. W4: Bitter over CW, Skrib? > Sailor Moon and all related elements > (including herself) are property of > Naoko Takeuchi, and no copyright > infringement is intended on the part of > the author. > > Song Titles, (C) 1973, Pink Floyd > Music, no infringement intended (as > above). > > "Embryonic Eclipse, Side 1", the > character of Peter Slovinsky, and > author notes, other than above unowned > rights, (C) 2000 Echo Albarn/EMS > (Emergency MSTing System) Systems. > Koo-koo ga-joob. Skrib: Looks like he finally lost it. Dr. Thinker (over loudspeakers): Ned fod azd dronks? Oh, if you looking for bears and whiners, you won't gut them here. Kate: What in heck is he talking about? Ramna X: Sounds like a food break. Zeek: Sounds like a sanity break, lets get out of here before we go sane. (All head out to the lobby.) * /\* Next to the yellow computer was a huge snack bar containing a variety of movie munchies from popcorn to potato chips. Kate immediately grabbed several chocolate bars. However, to the regret of some of the captives, there was not a trace of alcohol. "And they call this place a good theatre." Zeek mumbled, then shrugged as he got himself a extra large Mountain Dew and some reeces pieces. "Hungry, comardes?" ask the Thinker. "I got somedime to tall you." "Somedime to tall us? What'cha saying, you going to measure our coins?" Zeek turned back to the snack bar. W4 blinked as the beating he was receiving from Ranma X paused. "Maybe he's trying to sell us long-distance phone service," he mused. "I guess. Oh well," Ranma X said as he finished resting and kept banging W4 in the head. Skribulous began to open his mouth to speak, but closed his gaping maw instead, changing his mind. "May be he just wents to talk the talks?" asked Kate. "Yeah!" shouted Dr. Thinker. "Tiffers Can Still Somtimes Decode By Wirdings. Kate are you not Jolt by any change?" "Who's Jolt?" asked Kate. "A friendly MiSTie, who I meet a while back. Did some good work on some of my stories." stated Dr. Thinker. "Dr. Thinker, I just remember something." stated Diane. "Oh, yeh? What?" stated Dr. Thinker Daine whisper it into the right ear of Dr. Thinker. Dr. Thinker stated. "If you surave the rast of EE. I got a swoot idea: Video Games" "Yea right, like we'd believe you." Zeek scoffed. "It's like they do in all bad things.." Dr. Thinker replied, "I'm not lying like Dr. Forrester might. That right, Video Games! From Dreamcast to Game Boy Color and anything in between... even Japanese games as well." "Translators?" ask Zeek. "Mybae." replied Dr. Thinker "'Mybae'? Who in the fourty-two planes is Mybae?!?" Skrib grumbled. "I've never heard of a video game translator named Mybae, official or unofficial." "Video Games. The bill is going to sky-rocket." stated Zeek. "Oh, no. It's paid by the Order of Mechine Assiants of Doom. The Orders of M.A.D, I'm one of their master minds." stated Dr. Thinker. "Isn't that the same place that bossed Dr. Forrester?" asked W4. "The one and the same." replied Dr. Thinker. "By the way, the games will cover all the genes from action to Role Playing Games." replied the Dr. Thinker. "In the mean-time, the rest of you can use the bathroom expect W4." "Lets see, men, women, creatures from unbelievable planes of terror... squids, squirrels, abomanable beasts. Damn... this theatre gets a lot, ah here we are, people from medieval like dimensions." Zeek walked in the restroom. "Hmm..Oh here we go. 'Malajusted Psycho without an Oedipus Complex'," Ranma X. said as he grabbed an issue of Maxim and went to the restroom. W4 crossed his legs and gulped. It wasn't that he had to use the bathroom as much as the threat of not being able to use it that caused him distress. "I feel like that author's new character in that fan-fiction we're riffing right now. In otherwords, I'm a more of a idiot then Dr. Thinker himself." He also didn't notice the fact that Kate was staring at him with an oddly intense look of concentration on her face. W4 thought to himself. [You can slip out of the theater during the rest of the fic and use the bathroom. You did build the darn thing, after all.] [What? Would you prefer that I send my thoughts in asterisks?] @ [sigh] Is that better? @ @ Idiot. As I was saying, you can just sn- @ @ That's not important right now. The hidden exit is- @ @ GRRR! Okay! Fine! If I tell you, then will you PLEASE listen to where the secret exit is? @ @ Oy. Okay. I'm actually an attractive young lady currently living in your mind. @ @ The rent's cheap, and there's plenty of open space. @ @ Hey yourself. I'm just saying. @ @ Anyway, the secret ex- @ @ THE SECR- @ @ Oh, forget you, you twerp! @ "W4!!!" Dr. Thinker shouted at the top of his lungs. W4 looked around, dazed. "Huh? What?" he blurted out, startled. On the other side of the room, Kate shook her head in disgust. "I wiat to gove ya a zapfale. It contains the rast of Pokemon Oav, by me." W4 blinked as a Zip disk bonked him on the head and came to rest on his open palms. "Now you can hit the bathroom, W4!" W4 leapt up in glee and darted to the nearest restroom. Unfortunately, it was the "Bare-Chested Men With Back Hair Thicker Than The London Fog" restroom. Dr. Thinker and all of the MiSTers relished in the blood-curdling scream that ensued. "He should had pick the 'The Mechine Assist of Doom' room." "Are you nuts?" replied Diane. "Yes. Almost. Or even better then W4?" replied Dr. Thinker. W4 and his "friends" just came out from the bathrooms. "So are fresh and ready to take on EE, part 2." W4 blinked vacantly. "I may never use a restroom ever again," he monotoned. Skrib attempted to stifle his snickers, failing miserably. Not that he tried hard enough in the first place. "Aww man...oh well," Ranma X. said running to the booth for Pocky and Dr. Pepper. Kate return to the counter for a jumbo-size box of M & Ms. Skrib got a super-size box of cheesy pop-corn, still laughing like a psycho-path at W4. The rest just gotten a few cans of pop. "That's right, Neo-Vid! Party time!" replied Dr. Thinker "Had Fun!" A near-catatonic W4 had to be guided to the door by Skribulous, who was chortling and giggling all the while. ############################ 8: It's a car door. You open it. You roll down the window too and a breeze begins to blow. 7: It says "Keep Out." The MSTers heed its advice and turn around. Dr. Thinker comes over the intercom and says, "Ha, ha. Very Funny. Now get in there!" before opening the door. 6: It is a revolving door, that states, to keep an idiot busy, follow these words. Most everyone gets through by the third revolution... considering #1 and #2 had an electrified field in the way. Thinker laughing is heard "Stoooopieeed." Zeek comments, "If this was so stupid, why are we going thru new doors? That probably cost more." 5: This door left prior to the MiSTing when it got an offer to guest-star as a sliding door in "Star Trek: Voyager." 4: A crystal door bars the way. Despite the best efforts of the MiSTers, the barrier does not budge until in desperation, Ranma X swings wildly with his battle spatula, accidentally wedging the weapon in a previously-unnoticed alcove on the wall. With an audible *SHING!* sound, the door collapses away, letting the MiSTers pass. "Hmm...that was kinda cool," Ranma X. noted. 3: It's an Oscar temple. You run past cats asking you for dates and head to the next door. > ========================================== > EMBRYONIC ECLIPSE by Echo Albarn========== > ========================================== > = Peter's thoughts |text|= Other > characters' thoughts [text]= Voices in > Head {text}= Author Comment (text)= > Text in Parentheses Zeek: */ text \* = Text between swordfighting tribbles. Neo Vox: & text & = Text between two of the world's smallest violins. > SIDE 2. COMPLETE THE JOURNEY. > VI. Money Skrib: Shall we? W4: Why not? Its not a running gag for nothing. All: (singing) It's a gas.... > ------------------------------------------ > [Peter, have you ever heard of an > album by Roger Waters called "Radio > K.A.O.S."?] [Well, first- > It sucks. Bad. Skrib: Takes one to know one, huh? > But, it does contain the > story of a boy who's called up a radio > station using his mind. And that's what > I've done. I've called your head like > it's a phone, and when you're > unconscious, you've basically picked up > the phone.] Kate <[] girl>: And now it will only cost you 10 cents a minute with our new Psychic Friends And Family Plan(tm)! Skrib: . . . . . . > . . . [Hmpf, I guess you're not > going anywhere for a while. Wanna talk > about anything?] Skrib : Wanna have some mindless sex to pass the time? > Sailors Jupiter and Mercury stared up > at the hole in the ceiling. It was > about 10 feet wide, and they could see > starlight filtering down through the > broken wires and structure. |The > Stars,| Mercury thought. |How pretty.| > At that, a shape appeared at the edge > of the hole, blocking out a portion of > the sky. The meatball-shaped > protuberances proceeding from the head > of this silhouette announced to all > that this was Neo Vox: Captain Spaghetti! > Usagi Tseunko, Neo Vox: Damn. Skrib: Oh. (pause) Who? > local > ditz, klutz, and youma exterminator. Ranma X: She also dabbled in the mispelling of her name. > "Are you two all right down there?" > Makoto called back up, "Yeah, we're > fine, but Peter's unconscious again." Kate(Usagi): And that's a bad thing? Skrib(Usagi): Tsk, tsk. (shakes head) No stamina, I tell you... > Another head peeped out over the edge. W4: Looks like Tom's head is up in the space again. > "He seems to be doing that a lot > lately, doesn't he?" asked Sailor > Venus. Ami called back up, "Don't you > think we should all pick a floor and > stay on it? 'Cause I'm getting such a > crick in my neck..." One of the voices > from the roof called back, "Good idea. > Look out, I'm coming down!" With a > loud sound of impact {not TOGGG...}, W4: Nor THUD. Dr. Thinker: (Over intercom) Nor BOOM. Skrib: Nor SQUISH. Zeek: Nor SPLAT. Kate: Nor TROUT. Neo Vox: TROUT? Kate: Yeah, like this. (Kate whacks Neo Vox with a large trout.) Kate: See? > Rei landed in the center of the > cluttered (& decimated) editing room. Zeek: Hmm, looks just like my room. Skrib: (blinks) Ayanami's in this? Ranma X: No, this is Rei Hino, not the EVA pilot. > Landing in a crouching position, she > paused a moment before getting up. She > began to talk with the two other senshi > as the group from the roof started to > drop down. The conversation was genial > small-talk, the kind of stuff that > would pass between close friends and > seasoned professionals, until the > subject of one Peter Slovinsky was > brought up. Ranma X : [darkly] Never mention that name again. W4: Peter Slovinsky. Ranma X: That's it. (Ranma X gets up and runs straight to W4. But W4 moves just before Ranma X gets there. Ranma X crashes into some empty chairs in the corner.) Zeek: Are you all right? Ranma: I'm O.K. > Captain Tylor seiyuu for the English > dub are better than the originals.> [I > see where you're coming from, but...Oh, > damn.] (All blink) W4: The hell?! Ranma X: So he's just randomly talking about his anime preferences for no reason? Skrib: Not just that, but he has bad taste. Zeek: So what does this have to do with money... or Pink Floyd for that matter? > Peter opened his eyes, once again in > the presence of the Inner Senshi. He > got to his feet and swayed there, > unsteadily, for a moment. This would > prove to be a bad move, as he collapsed > into a tangled pile of limbs some > seconds later. Four of the girls > grabbed a limb, Ranma X: And yanked violently. Kate : Okay, girls! Make a wish! Skrib : On my count of three... One... Two... Three! PULL!!! Zeek: Drawn and quartered. How nice. > and began to drag him > out of the studios. Ranma X (Narrator): While Minako drags along his bloody torso. Kate: Sounds painful. > ------------------------------------------ > VII. Us And Them-------------------------- Ranma X.(singing): And after all...we're only ordinary men... W4: Give it up. It's over. Ranma X.: No it isn't. W4: Yes, it... Ranma X.: GODDAMMIT, NO IT ISN'T! W4: ...huh? > ------------------------------------------ > Sometime later...Peter was asleep. He > dreamed. Skrib: What he dreamed was probably none of our business and we don't even want to know. Then again... h_h (W4, Zeek, and Kate glare at Skrib) > And by the magic known to > fanboys/girls everywhere as PLOT > CONTRIVANCES, his dream had much deep > signifigance... Zeek: Doesn't say much for this fic however. Neo Vox: This dream is about as deep as rice paper. Skrib: And just as appealing. Kate: Can't even use it for origami. > pillared, and hung in white silk that > matched the color of the stone. Grey > highlights ran through it. W4: But why? It so pretty by itself. Skrib: At least the Author's trying to be artistic. Surrealist, I think. > The hall was > lit by spotlights, cunnngly concealed, Neo Vox: Or it would be if it weren't for the fact you could see them. > rather giving the effect of starlight > on the floor. At each end of the hall, > a raised dais stood, carpeted in a deep > color. Zeek: As opposed to a shallow color. W4: I prefered dense colors myself. > The carpet that Peter stood on > was blue. He could see the opposite end > of the hall was done in green. Peter > looked down at himself, and found he > was dressed in a ice-blue (Rei's hair, W4: Since when is Rei's hair ice-blue? Ranma X: A really, really, REALLY dark shade of ice-blue. You know... like "color of burnt steaks" blue. Skrib: No, she really is Rei Ayanami. Wai! ^_^ (Kate facepalms.) > he thought) robe, remincient of an > ancient wizard's. Zeek: (scoff) Him a wizard... please... don't do it. Skrib: Probably on par with Malak the Hell Knight. (Everyone snickers.) > Slovinsky stepped > forward and descended the five steps > that reached the floor. He began to > walk forward, towards the dais at the > opposite end of the grand hall. Doves > of starlight nestled in the rafters. > Quiet music of ethereal chimes sounded > through the room. Kate: And that's really saying something. It's not easy to teach an orchestra to play Rob Zombie with nothing but chimes. Zeek: Although if you had bells with the chimes, you could do an interesting rendition of whom the bell tolls. > As he reached the > dais, Peter noticed several things. Skrib : My God! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!? > A > staff held up a ivory banner with the > old Latin signs of the planets formed > of crimson fabric. Grand windows that > reached from floor to ceiling revealed > the night sky in all its glory. And > there was someone standing on the dais. Kate: Yes, it is something standing on the dais, we don't know what it is, or where it came from, but if along with it, you will get a supply of chewy chocolate chip cookies. Skrib: And it can be yours if the Price is Right! > At first, all Peter could see was a > pale green robe, the color of mint > creme, with its hood up. Then, just as > slowly as he approached, the figure > turned round and lowered their hood. > Peter mounted the five steps to reach > this person, where he paused, and > studied their features. It was a woman, Skrib: And what a woman she was. Rrrrrowl. > and she had long sandalwood-colored > hair, which gently framed her face. She > was rather pale and slim, but had a > simple grace in her movements that, in > Peter's mind anyway, Kate: Stopped and caused paralysis to the rest of his body. Zeek: Kate, it's a technical term used when someone's mind ceases functioning and thinking is diminished... although for Peter, that wouldn't do much... And it's termed as stoned. Skrib: They also got drugs in this? Ranma X: That explains a lot. > made her seem > Angelic. He stopped. W4: There you go again with your foreshadowing. (grumble) (Kate just laughs.) > They stood, for an > eternity of a moment, simply gazing > into each other's eyes. Then, she > reached out and gently touched Peter's > cheek with the tips of her fingers... Ranma X: Giving him a nasty static electricy charge. Neo Vox : OW! Kate : Tee hee hee. Gotta love a temple with indoor carpeting. > Very slowly and gently, Peter awoke. > He thought about the dream, nearly > reliving it in his grogginess. "Wow." Skrib: (blinks) That was it? Man, we've been robbed! I want my graphic rendition! I want my explicit descriptions! I want PURE, UNADULTERED---MMMPH!!! W4: (covering Skrib's mouth) That's enough. > was his only comment, whispered gently > into the early morning. Then there was > a knock. Still partially asleep, Peter > got a robe and went to the door. > Looking through the peephole, he could > see that nearly the entire cast of SM W4: Senshi Muyo? Kate: Scarlett Marquee? Ranma X: Silent Moebius? Skrib: The Gods Must Be Randy? (ALL just... BLINK... at Skrib.) Zeek: I... wait, I know, don't ask, it would hurt too much. > was standing in his hallway. Not really > recognising the significance of this > sort of thing, he undid the chain, and > opened the door. Blinking through > bleary eyelids, Peter was not making a > good impression. Furthermore, Chibi-usa Skrib: (gaping) YAMHEAD!!! ARRRGH!!! > was in front of the pack, jumping up > and down. "C'mon, Mr. S! We gotta go > to a fight! We're gonna beat up those > creeps that took Miss T!" Peter looked Ranma X: At everyone, himself, Life, the universe and wondered outloud so that the Earth and the heavens could hear him: "What are you talking about?!" W4: I think you're projecting too much, Ran... Skrib: Well he has a point... it's 'Mr.T'. The idea of a Ms. T scares me... Kate : I pity the fool who makes the jibbajabba with my husband! Skrib: (whimpering) Scary lady... > at her, uncomprehending. He looked at > the group in front of him, looked back > down at Chibi, and gave up. There was > no sense in arguing the point that it > was...what time was it? TOO DAMN EARLY, > Peter thought. He simply turned around > and left the door open behind him. The > senshi, kamen, and villians muttered a > bit about if Peter had gotten hit > upside the head too many times, but > they got the hint and entered the > apartment. Some minutes later, Peter > reemerged, having taken a shower, and > gotten actual clothes on. At this > point, he was ready to explain his > thoughts on the subject. "ARE YOU > CRAZY?!?! All: YES! > YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO IT IS > YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE FIGHTING, AND YOU > EXPECT ME TO JOIN IN THIS CRUSADE? All: YES! > I'D > BE DEAD IN SECONDS!" ALL: YES! > Peter was about > to continue his rant, when he was cut Ranma X: In the throat. He had whined and ranted for the last time. Zeek : Anybody else have any objections? > off by Darien. Reaching into his coat > pocket, Darien said, "We think you're > going to want to see this. It's a tape > of one our shows, but..." "They > butchered it!" Usagi was having a > little trouble controlling herself, and > she raised her voice accordingly, "All > that hard work we put into our show, > and..." she sighed, "Just watch." > Tuxedo Kamen tossed the SVHS tape over > to Zoicite, who pushed it into Peter's > video tapedeck, positioned on top of > his TV. Peter picked up the remote and > turned it on. After a few seconds of > static, the show came on. W4 : "Jim Henson's Sailor Moon Babies?" What the-? > They watched > the episode, one of their later ones, > in dead silence. Peter was in shock, Skrib : OW! Kate : Don't start getting fresh with me, Self-Insertion boy. > and even the others, who had seen it > already were silently gritting their > teeth. It was bad. Someone had botched > the English dubbing, turning all the > emotional speeches into lists of > catchphrases, slicing up the combat, > inserting extra stock footage, it was > just...lame. As the mind-numbing > experience ended, Ami pointed at the > screen. "Here's the most interesting > part. Look at these credits. Recognize > that name?" Peter stared at the name > that appeared before him, the name of > the enemy that would take his art away > from him. All he could say was, "What > D.I.C.ks." W4:(Stands, fist waving) Yeah! I mean really! What a crappy story! Kate: Um Woofer, I think they mean the dub, not this story... W4: Oh. (sits down.) Skrib: My, I do believe I was right. Ranma X: Pardon? Skrib: Echo Albarn is channeling Gonterman. > ------------------------------------------ > VIII. Any Colour You Like----------------- > ------------------------------------------ > Chibi-usa stood up. "Well, Mr. S? Ya > gonna help us here?" Peter looked at > the group. super- powered. The only thing I've got > for me is the fact that I know a lot > about us. Like the voice said, I'm no > hero.> "I-I would, but..." he frowned, > "I don't have any powers..." Kate <[] girl>: Go with them. Zeek : Wait. The girl that dials up my head like a telephone said that I should go with you. Skrib : ...right. On second thought, stay here. (pause) (normal voice) That's strange, I have a sudden craving for insulin shots... > There was > a moment of silence. The entire group > gaped at him. "None?" Minako asked, > her jaw hanging slack. "Not a one." > Usagi scratched her head, "After all > this time...you can't do ANYTHING?" Skrib: After all this time, all of you never figured THAT out?!? Heck, I'd consider that a power by itself. > Peter sighed and stood up. He stood in > a ready position, then tried to charge > up a simple energy blast, which is even > taught to Anime children these days. As > he did, Makoto pulled out a scouter, > borrowed from the set of Dragon Ball Z. Ranma X.(Tries Opening his mouth but doesn't even bother): I-I But- Ohhhh... Neo Vox: Don't waste your breath. Zeek: I thought that joke was copyrighted somewhere. > After a second of examination and a few > beeps, she shook her head. "Nothing. > Not even a glimmer," She said, turning > away from Peter, "I'm so sorry." "It's > all right," Peter said, "I think there > may be one way I can help. Let's go to > the studio." Skrib: Anyone else agrees that this form of help involves big guns? Kate: Skrib, this is in the Sailor Moon world, albeit a rather twisted one. Skrib: Oh. Point taken. > {Insert brief scene change here} (All start humming the little intermission theme from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.) > At the studio, Peter left the group in > the company's APC as he went down a > flight of stairs behind his office. [Skrib and Ranma X whisper briefly. Then Skrib rushes to the locked entrance of the theatre and gives Ranma X an OK signal.] Ranma X: Watch out for that first- [Skrib takes a step forward, trips and tumbles all the way to his seat.] Ranma X: -step. Skrib : Next time, I take the elevator. [Skrib sits in his seat.] Ranma X: The "Chosen Warriors" sketch, ladies and gentlemen... wherever you may be. > They were narrow and dark, as well as > being dust-covered. He couldn't help > but sneeze occasionally, as he walked > slowly through the darkness Kate: It is very dark here. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. (Skrib makes gulping sounds, then belches loudly.) > with one > hand against the wall. After descending > for what seemed like ages, Peter bumped > into a door. Kate: What? Tripping down a flight of stairs wasn't satisfying enough for you? Skrib : It hurts so GOOD! > Reaching up, he traced the > engraved letters with his fingers: W4: I-F Y-O-U R-E-A-D T-H-I-S Y-O-U A-R-E A-N I-D-I-O-T. Zeek: T-H-E G-O-L-D S-W-O-R-D O-F K-I-N-G M-I-N-A-S W-A-S H-E-R-E. Kate: K-I-L-R-O-Y W-A-S H-E-R-E. Skrib: N-O G-I-R-L-S A-L-L-O-W-E-D. Kate: Hey! Skrib: ^_^;;; > P-R-O-P S-T-O-R-A-G-E. place. God, I haven't been down here in > years.> Zeek: Not since the day I started working here, and they put on a hazing ritual... Skrib (Peter): I remember it like it was yesterday... When that cute girl from the upstairs offi--MMPH! Kate: (stuffing a cushion down Skrib's throat) Hush, you... > Fumbling in his pockets, Peter > pulled out an old, silvery key. After > scrabbling in the lock for some Ranma X.: sense of dignity. Skrib: Like as if there was any to begin with. > seconds, he got the door open. It swung Skrib: Both ways. W4: Reaching? Skrib: (nodding) I try. > inward on well-oiled hinges. Reaching > off towards his right, Peter hit the > light switch. A space hundreds of feet > long was immediately illuminated. Kate: Unfortunately said space was located on the other side of town, leaving Peter to continue fumbling in the darkness. > Every square foot Zeek: I had a friend once who had square feet. He was a lousy dancer. > of it was crammed full of W4: Rich, creamy filling. > stuff from every show the company had > produced. Kunzite lounged in the back [ALL blink] W4: Um... huh?! RanmaX: So Kunzite was sitting in the basement, or something? Skrib: This had better be a scene change... W4: Or? Skrib: Think about your last riff. W4: "Rich, creamy..." >_< Skrib: Heh. ^_^ > seat of the APC with his head out the > window. Zeek: Arf! [makes panting noises] > |How long is this going to > take?| he thought. Peter walked > through the aisles, looking around for W4: Cherry Garcia Ice cream. > a certain show, Kate: The Big Show. > one that had... There they are.> He stepped forward, Zeek: And tripped over his own two feet. Skrib : Darn loose shoelaces! > and stood before a set of cubic boxes > from an unreleased series. They were > about a foot on each side, and had a > control panel set into the top. Which one? Any color I like.> Peter was > about to pick the red one, when > suddenly, he noticed a box in the far > corner that was a familiar shade of > blue. Skrib: Red and blue. This sounds familiar... W4: Ah, I see. It's Pokemon cartridges. > Chibi-usa bounced up and down in > her seat and whined, "C'MON! We gotta Skrib: a lolicon fanatoc of its the last thing I do! Other Riffers And Dr. Thinker (over the intercom): What? [Editor's note: ...I'm not even trying to translate that.] > go!" She was about to elaborate on the > subject for the fiftieth time, when she > suddenly noticed Peter walking out of > the studio. "YAY! HE'S HERE!" Neo Vox : OPEN FIRE! [Ranma X. throws a few spatula. Zeek shoots a few arrows. Kate throws her spear. Neo Vox throws W4.] W4: AAAAIEEEE! [W4 hits the screen with a splat, sliding back to the floor.] Neo Vox: You dead? W4: [mumbled] Yeah. I'm dead. Ranma X: Next time, keep your wrist straight. Dr. Thinker: (Over intercom) If he has a next time, that is. > Peter > opened the hatch and hopped back into > the front seat. Skrib : Well, I- [mimicks missing the seat completely and landing, butt-first, on the floor.] OW! Kate : Ladies and gentlemen, it's Peter the Ballerina! Skrib : Waaaah! Ranma X.: So Peter is really Dick van Dyke? > He tossed the box over > to Minako, who set it down on the > floor. "Let's go," was the only thing > he said...leaving plenty of space for > the INTERNAL SOLILOQUY! W4: Ack, more Gryphonesque monologue. [Skrib and RanmaX exchange glances. Skrib nods.] Ranma X: Okay, story time. W4: AAAAAAAAAUUUUGH! > was one of those slice-and-dice > translation companies from the start. > The loud light switch, the demonic > youma, the constant cliches, all of it > pointed to American involvement. Damn > American animation studios. They suck, > they really suck. Kate: Enjoying your soapbox, Mr. 'I'm not a `Self-Insertion'? > So, it figures that > we're getting ripped off by the > D.I.C.kheads...Well, we're just going > to have to beat the crap out of them > and grab Naoko.> Sometime later, the > gathering pulled up to the D.I.C. HQ. > Everyone grumbled, as they got out, Kate : Peter, there's rumblings of mutiny about! Zeek : Oh? Neo Vox, Ranma X, Skrib and W4: RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE. MUTINY MUTINY MUTINY. RUMBLE RUMBLE- Zeek : Stop that rumbling! Neo Vox, Ranma X, Skrib and W4: ...rumble. > but > were silenced by their first view of > the structure. "Hey, is it just me, > or-" Peter began. "NO." He was cut off > by everyone else as they stared at the > skyscraper, Ranma X: They were paralysed with fear as the building keeled over, crushing them under several tons of concrete. The end. > which could only be > described as a blatant rip-off of the > Starlight Tower. > > {Pause fic. SuperDeformed-Echo Neo Vox: Superdeformed WHAT? Kate: Let me try... [shouts] IRVINE! Echo: BOOGER. Booger. booger. boo... [ALL blink.] Skrib: (facepalms) Now we get this. Ranma X: (looks around) Is NeoVid nearby? Zeek: Well, we have his brother here. Neo Vox: I am NOT related to NeoVid! >walks onstage. [EchoA. appears] EchoA.: ...and promptly hangs himself for being this bad of a writer. [sob] [EchoA. disappears] Ranma X.: Oh my god... W4: What? Are you okay? Ranma X.: I never...ever...thought that my thoughts would be projected like that. Skrib: Mine too... it's scary. (pause, then chuckles evilly) Hehehehehehheheheheheheheh. Neo Vox: Great. Now we're losing the Dragon. > "Um, just figured I'd let you > know that even *I*, who almost never > watched this show knows what the Tower Diane: (OVER INTERCOM) FILE #122 -- SAILOR MOON INFORMATION....STAR LIGHT TOWER IS THE AMERICAN NAMED THE TOKYO TOWER IN WHICH DARRIEN/MAMORU A.K.A TUDEXO MASK AND SERENA/USAGI A.K.A SAILOR MOON FOUND OUT EACH OTHER INDENITY, PLUS ALMOST THE SCOUTS AND THIER CAT GUARDIANS, FOUND OUT THAT SERENA WAS THE LOST MOON PRINCESS. IN THE THIRD SEASON, ONE OF THE VILLANS GET KICK OFF THE SAME TOWER. IT LOOKS A TALLER VISION OF THE CERTAIN LANDMARK IN PARIS, FRENCE. Zeek: Wooooooooooo. Toooooo much information. Dr Thinker: Come to me after the fan-fiction done. I'm going to fix you up. > looks like. If you don't, sorry. I'm > not going to describe it. It's late > as-is. Suffice it to say, it's pretty." > SD-Echo bows and walks off.} Ranma X.: Oh, I'm sooo glad you care... Skrib: (snorts) I've seen better. > Peter drops the blue box on the ground Zeek: And onto his foot. Skrib : OW! That smarts! > and presses a button on top. There is a > flash of light. > > [Peter, Don't go in!] > > As the flash subsides, the box is > gone, and Peter is now clothed in armor > the color of the sky. Zeek: What, it's smog-colored? Skrib: Hello, Mister Not-A-Self-Insertion. > He smirks. "Let's > go." In the back of his mind, though, > he puzzles over the message. Stopping > at the glass doors Kate: That happens when you don't open them first. W4: Oww... thoubt it wab oben... Skrib: You know, maybe we should stop making fun of how clumsy he is. [pause] All: NAH! > in the front of the > building, the group peered through, > checking for dangers. It was rather > hard to see through the thick glass > into the lobby, but it was quite > obvious that the machine guns that were > being pointed at them were real. Ranma X.: Wow... so Canada 'is' evil! Skrib: o/~ Ooh, Canada... Blame Canada... o/~ > ------------------------------------------ > IX. Brain Damage-------------------------- Neo Vox [Bill Cosby]: My wife and I never smiled, kos our kids have BRAIN DAMAGE! W4: I think we've suffered enough of it to last a lifetime... > ------------------------------------------ > Neo Vox: And the author pleads for mercy in the face of the cold, heartless riffers. RanmaX: Why me, Hagbard responded with a smile. The question asked by the soldier as the enemy bullets whistle around him, by the harmless homeowner as the homicidal maniac steps through the kitchen door hunting knife in hand, by the woman who has given birth to a dead baby... Skrib: Ran... RanmaX: ...by the prophet who has just received a revelation of the Word of God, by the artist who knows his latest painting is a work of genius. Skrib: Ran... RanmaX: Why you? Because you're there, schmuck. Because something has to happen to you, OK? (silence) W4: You done? RanmaX: Yeah. > With a howl of rage, Peter > pointed with both palms out towards the > glass doors, which shattered. He made > the same gesture towards the guards, > who collapsed twitching to the floor. Kate: I feel like doing that too. Zeek: [horrible realization] I see now! The armor forces people to read large parts of this fic! W4: That's... that's evil! Zeek, W4: [at the same time] Wish I had thought of that first... [looks at each other, and falls silent] (Skrib raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.) > Usagi scratched her head. "Didn't you > say..." Peter said, "Yes, I know. It's > the armor, see? It makes subsonic > vibrations, powerful enough to injure. > Cliche, yes, but I'll fight their > cliches with one of our own." W4 : I'll grab the bull by the horns! Dr. Thinker: [over intercom] Nobody's perfect. Ranma X : I'll burn the midnight oil! Diane: [over intercom] The check is in the mail. Kate : I'll win one for the Gipper! Zeek: Life is a game. Skrib: I'll have my cake and eat it too!! (All blink) Skrib: What?!? Well, let them eat cake! (Facefaults all around!) > They > stepped through the remains of the > doors, and were about to step over the > security guards, when they lept back > up. One stepped forward. "Ha-ha!" he > said, "You cannot defeat us that > easily!" RanmaX: Our Kung-Fu are greater than yours! > He began to change, and soon > he had exploded out of his clothes, Kate: Dieting gone horribly wrong... > becoming one of the demonic youmas from > before, while his companions did the > same. They split up and began to attack > the "good guys". Charging forward, the > senshi began to use their individual > attacks to defeat the monsters. One > went down with a rose in the eye. Kate: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Skrib: And here I thought Usagi was the only one with rose-tinted vision. RanmaX: I guess it's been a thorn in his eye for a while. W4: [spastic] Surrounded...all surrounded... there's no way out of here... it'll be dark soon... Skrib: Let it go, Woofer... A flower's life is brief. W4: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Zeek: I was afraid that was going to grow. W4: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! > Another two were burned. One was > wandering around in a daze, holding its > cavity-filled mouth. Zeek: Okay. Refresh my memory. Which one of them is Sailor Tooth Decay? Skrib: The Yamhead, who else. And if I have my way, she'd be Sailor Six-Feet-Below-The-Ground. > Soon, they were > all defeated. Peter was about to go > into the elevator, when a white glove > appeared at his shoulder. Zeek: AIIEEE! A white glove! Getitoff, getitoff! Kate: [uber-ominous voice] The white glove is a dangerous portent. It speaks of troubled times ahead... [rubs her jaw] Ow. > Peter turned > for a moment, "What is it, Darien?" > Tuxedo Mask looked him in the eye. Skrib: I cannot let you go alone. W4: Of course not. You guys are coming with me, right? Skrib: Ahem. As I said, I cannot let you go alone. W4: Right, I know. Let's go, gang. Kate: Damn. So much for reverse psychology. > "You don't remember what happened in > the elevators at the Starlight Tower, > do you?" "Um...No. Just 'cause I > filmed it doesn't mean I remember it." Skrib : Usagi and I did the horizontal ho- [Ranma X waves his combat spatula menacingly.] Skrib : -hockey stick dance to cheer on the Mighty Ducks! Kate: Wai! Paul Kariya! [Ranma X sits down, jaw clenched.] Skrib: ^_^_v Quack quack quack [QUACK]! > "They ambushed us." "Ah. Well, I > don't think D.I.C. is stupid enough to > pull the same trick as Zoë and Kunny, > considering we've seen it already!" Ranma X.: But since its Malachite and Zoicite here, we may just fall for it... > Kunzite spoke up. "I think they > would." Zoicite nodded in agreement. > Peter said, "No way! I'm going in the > elevator, what's the worst that could > happen?" As Peter whirled on his heel W4: Heel turn! > and ran in through the elevator doors, Ranma X: And right into one of its walls. Skrib : Ow! My nose! > the entire cast facefaulted. The doors > closed silently behind him. Kate: Accidentally cleaving Kyo Kusanagi in twain. > Makoto > looked around, "Well, where are the > stairs? We'd better get moving..." > ++++++ Skrib: The number of character assassinations in this fic... save for the Yamhead. He got her character right. ^^;;; > Peter looked around the > elevator. which floor?> He looked at the control > panel, and pushed the button for the > top floor. The elevator began its slow > ascent. Cheesy elevator music was > playing, and he slumped against a wall, W4: That's some potent muzak. > waiting to arrive. Before he could do > anyhting, however, a pinkish gas began > to fill the space. In seconds, Peter > was unconscious. Neo Vox: I guess...they *cough* *cough* ...fooled...me... (falls from chair.) > anybody out there?> there?> Ranma X.: NO! So go home you little snot! W4: Easy. I know he's dragging Pink Floyd's name in the mud, but.... Kate: Hello. You have reached Peter's mind. I'm out of my mind right now, but leave a message and I'll call you back when I return to my senses. *beep* > ++++++ Meanwhile... Skrib: In twinkly winkly pixie land... > on the 21st > floor... > > "Much more of this and I'm going to > scream!" > > Some time later. Much later. Okay, so > it was getting really late by this > time. How late? Just be quiet and read. Kate : Sit down, shut up, and read your goddamn fanfic! > "Huff...Puff...," was the sound of the > day, as Usagi crawled out of the > stairwell on the 82nd floor. Neo Vox: Wow. She pulled an Utena. > She > flopped down on the ground, in the > middle of the hallway. Rei tripped over > her, landing on the ground next to her. > Zoicite tried to avoid them and > stumbled, sprawling across both of > them. Kate: O_O Don't tell me... Skrib: YEAH! Let the good times roll! h_h W4: (shaking his head) Hopeless... > By pure bad luck, his hand had > accidentaly slid up Rei's fuku. Her ALL: Waa-waa-WAA! > eyes grew wide in anger. She leapt to > her feet, and Zoicite was immediately > on his knees, pleading innocence, when > she yelled, [Skrib opens his mouth.] Ranma X: [coldly] Don't you dare, Skrib. Skrib: But I didn't- Neo Vox : Why the hell did you stop? [Ranma is about to strike Neo Vox, when-] Skrib : Never on the first date! Except for that one time... and that other time... and then there was the really cute guy who... [Ranma X, suffering from multiple target overload, slumps back down to his seat.] Neo Vox: Danke. Skrib: You owe me. > "ZOË NO ECCHI!!" and began > to slap him repeatedly. This was the > scene that greeted Minako as she came > in the door. All she asked was, "When Skrib: ...can I join in? > did we get moved to an episode of > 'Ranma 1/2'?", as the abuse continued. Ranma X.:AGAIN! Why, Takahashi-Kami-sama? WHY?! (Skrib looks around and steals Ranma X.'s spatula while he's ranting and, after looking to both sides, hits him really hard with it.) Skrib: Hush, Ukyou-fanboy. > ++++++ Skrib: The number of bullets in the .357 Magnum owned by the assassin with a contract for the author's head. W4: I see that someone's reading Self-Extraction recently. > The blue-clad figure lay prone > on a black marble floor, one that was > rather cold. He stirred, and began to > take note of his surroundings. The room > was completely black, W4: Afro-american. > lit only faintly > by torches in wall alcoves. There was a > blood-red carpet leading to a dais. > There was a throne on that dais, and > there were three figures thereon. Two Kate: That's one hell of a big throne. Skrib: I dunno, it's all a question of how much you like the other two. > of them were chained to the wall (and > were also wearing rather skimpy > outfits), W4: Cliché. Zeek: And you're complaining? Kate: And of course you assume they're female... Skrib: And *you're* complaining? Kate: Heck, yeah! I have standards, you know. > and face of the third was > obscured by shadow. On the left of the > throne, was obviously Naoko. W4: Oh. It's so obvious. Kate: Of course it's Naoko. Skrib: How could it be anyone else? Zeek: Even a trained monkey would have known that was Naoko. Neo Vox: Who's Naoko? (All facefault) > The other > was a willowy form, brown-haired, who > was currently struggling against her > bonds. She yelled at the third person. > "HEY! LEMME GO!" At this, they turned > round, and Peter got a good look at who > it was that was behind W4: Door number one. Skrib: A NEW CAR!!! (Everyone throws confetti in the air.) > the diabolical > plot. It was a man, in his forties, who > wore a business suit and an insane > grin. Neo Vox: As opposed to a business grin and an insane suit. > Both fit well. He chuckled. "I > think we should begin our little game > again, don't you, my little Halo?" At > this, he pulled an odd looking device > out from behind his back, and turned it > on. Ranma X: Not. One. Word. Kate: I second that motion. Neo Vox: Damn. Skrib: Well, at least I know someone's reading my work. ^^;;; > Halo began to tug at her bonds > harder, when the contraption was > suddenly knocked out of his hand. > Whirling around, he looked dead into > the eyes of one pissed-off assitant > director. Kate: Suppository Man! > Peter reared back and punched > him straight between the eyes. "That > was for your lack of social skills. > This one's for-urk!" Peter had been > grabbed by the collar and lifted up > into the air. He found himself flying > through the air, in a clumsy fashion. Kate: Because, after all, we wouldn't want to break the "clumsy Peter" tradition now, would we? Zeek: so... the whole 'professional stuntman' part of the background went kaput? W4: A-yup. Skrib: Kewlness. A live retconning in action. Neo Vox: Tell me that was being sarcastic. Skrib: I was? Ranma X: No, Neo Vox. You're mistaking him for his other avatar. Neo Vox: (somewhat confused) What's the difference? W4: Nothing much really... except that Sig is always sarcastic. > Landing flat on his back, Peter sent a > blast at the executive. He missed. What > it did do, however, was break the > chain that secured Halo to the wall, > and she ran over to Peter's side. RanmaX: Fabu. Now the bad guy can take 'em out with just one shot. > "Peter? Is that you?" He took another > look at her, and listened to her voice, > and realized exactly who it was he was > speaking to. "You're the voice in my > head?" She nodded. "I was in your > dream, also. And you were in mine." > "PETER, HALO, LOOK OUT!" Naoko yelled. > They turned around in time to see a > wave of red energy approaching them > very quickly. Peter shut his eyes. Some > seconds later, he dared to open them > again, and realized that something had > stopped it. That something was the W4: Carter administration. Skrib: Much like the Philippine government, unfortunately. > entire mass of heroes that had just > entered the room. > > "YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT DID THIS TO > US!" "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! YOU'RE NO > MATCH FOR ME!!!!" "Alright. Let's > go..." ALL: ...SHOPPING! */ \* > ------------------------------------------ > X. Eclipse-------------------------------- Ranma X: Isn't that a DC anti-hero/villain? Kate: Like you? Ranma X: (hits Kate with his weapon) Kate: (returns pain with her lance into Ranma X's guts. Read: Tummy) Zeek: I am NOT cleaning that up. *looks again* Bloody... Kate: Oh, come on. He's fine now, see? (Sure enough, RanmaX is miraculously recovered.) >--------------------- > ------------------------------------------ > ALL THAT YOU TOUCH Neo Vox: You destroy... Zeek: For the love of any god that's out there, please don't give our resident hentai any more ammo... Skrib: ^-^_v > Peter stepped back to the doorway to > stand with his allies. Halo, > concealing Skrib: A good amount of energy. Neo Vox: And an AK-47. > her dignity as best she could Kate: She's isn't trying hard. She's in the story, isn't she? >, stood Skrib: On a TNT crate. Ranma X: I hope that blows up in Pete's face. > with them. Darien turned to Peter. "Was > I right about the elevators?" Peter > nodded. > > AND ALL THAT YOU SEE Zeek: Is some bad rendition of SM which... Neo Vox: Is already bad enough in the US... W4: You got that right. > The senshi prepared for battle. Having > already transformed, this was a > relatively simple operation. Sailor > Moon stepped forward. "Who are you?" > she yelled. "Why are you doing this?" Kate : I was getting bored. It was either this or take over the world. > ALL THAT YOU TASTE W4: ALL WORDS IN CAPS. Ranma X: ALL FORMATTING GO "POOT." Skrib: ALL YOUR WEAPONS ARE BELONG TO US. Zeek: WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? W4: WHAT! Zeek: I don't play by rules. (smiles) > The businessman smiled, a sickening > sight in and of itself, and said one > word. "Ratings." Kate: Must have a been a sweep week. Skrib: I wish I can sweep up Ego. W4: Eeech! Puns! Ramna X: Watch the lines or I'm going to sweep you up. W4: Ick! NeoVid: Hey! What is a Network suit's favorite game show? W4: What? NeoVid: Supermarket Sweep. W4: AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! All, but W4: (laughing at W4) Skrib: And a sweeping applause by the riffers for that pun. ^_^ All, but W4: (applaused) W4: The...puns...are...killing..me... > ALL YOU FEEL Zeek: Is the muzzle of a gun. W4: A Colt 44. Kate: Pointed at the back of your neck. Neo Vox: And the only thing you hear is... Skrib: "I said, do you want fries with THAT?!?" > "You see," he said, turning towards > the windows behind his throne, "The > American market is barely tapped, and > we can make a lot of money from them. > Using you." Skrib : Yes, you'll fetch quite a good price... (ducks RanmaX's spatula) > AND ALL THAT YOU LOVE Zeek: Is not in this show. > Ami shook her head, disgusted. Usagi > could barely control her anger. Neo Vox : Use your anger. Strike me down. > AND ALL THAT YOU HATE Zeek: IS in this show. > "But of course," the corpulent paragon > of corporate greed went on, Skrib: My, how astute this observation is. > "The > American public isn't nearly liberal > enough to watch your version; Zeek : To be blunt, Americans are lazy, no-good frooty-pooties! You hear that, Americans? YOU SUCK! Skrib: (sweatdrops) Um, no comment. ^^;;; Zeek(as himself now): And funny thing is, I'm American and I agree with that entire thing. > they'd > need something *cleaner*, more > *friendly to families*, and of course, > they can't have something with an > actual plot now, could they?" > > ALL YOU DISTRUST Zeek: Politicians. W4: Mimes. > "I control the situation. Do you > children think you're going to do > anything about it?" (Usagi appears) Usagi: Children! I'm only 17 years old. (Usagi disappears) All: That was very strange. W4: Y'know, for a locked theatre, we're getting a bunch of walk-ins. Ranma X: Yeah... it's almost like there's a secret exit or something. W4: [nervously] Naaaah. > > ALL YOU SAVE Neo Vox: ON MEMORY CARDS. Kate: AT MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND SALES. Zeek: When the hell did you begin playing a (shudder) Barbie game Neo Vox? Skrib: (facepalms) ... > Peter muttered something about not > being 14-year-old pilots of giant > robots, but merely stood his ground. > The senshi, however, had had quite > enough by this time. All : SOMETHING ABOUT NOT BEING 14-YEAR-OLD PILOTS OF GIANT ROBOTS, DAMN IT! > Halo simply stared > blanky forward, chanting something > under her breath. Kate : Darkness beyond twilight... > AND ALL THAT YOU GIVE Zeek: Is given to people that live in little tiny huts... W4: Homeless? Neo Vox: Witch doctors? Kate: People in a time warp? Skrib: Pygmies? > "Enough talk! Prepare to die!" yelled > the president of the Division of > Industrialized Cartoons. He jumped up > into the air, and stayed there, > hovering. > Skrib: (eyetwitch) When the expression "living personification of darkness" is literal. > AND ALL THAT YOU DEAL W4: So is this 7 card stud or 5 card Draw? > The room began to change. Where there > was wooden paneling and black marble, > there only remained darkness. As there > was no more wall, there was no more > room. As there was no more room, there Ranma X: Was no more fic. Skrib: Please? > was nothing chaining Naoko Takeuchi to > the wall. In anger, she ran up behind > the president and clocked him a good > one with her chains. > Skrib: And how could she do that (shouting) IF HE WAS HOVERING IN MID-AIR AT THIS TIME!? > AND ALL THAT YOU BUY Zeek: IS RIDICULOUSLY OVERPRICED. W4: AND BAKES DOWN IN TWO DAYS. > An ugly sneer on his face, he turned > to her and fired a dark energy blast at > the helpless Anime artist. She was > blown across the room, to land at the > feet of her creations, burned and > unconscious. > > BEG, BORROW, OR STEAL Ranma X.: Come on man! Lend me your Bio notes or I'll get an F! Come on man! > In her hand was a small piece of > paper. > > AND ALL YOU CREATE Zeek: um... W4: With a Mad Scientist kit? Zeek: Thanks, I couldn't think of one. > Chibi-moon picked it up, and read it. > Unfortunately, she didn't understand > it. Skrib : Mommy, what does "Kama Sutra" mean? [Ranma X baps Skrib on the head with his spatula.] > Meanwhile, the thing known only as > the executive chose that opportunity to > launch more energy bolts at them. > Tuxedo Mask grabbed the paper, while > dodging the constant rain of fire. > > AND ALL YOU DESTROY Zeek: Will come back to haunt you.. Kate: That's the truth, look how many times I've inflicted mortal wounds on Ranma and Skrib. Skrib (brightly): I got better! Ranma X: (sullenly) Speak for yourself. I've been squished by Kate more times than you even open your mouth. > "Guys!" he said, "Naoko wrote us new > powers!" Kate: *cough*damnhugeplotcontrivance*cough* > ALL THAT YOU DO Zeek: We do things? W4: Yep. Zeek: Oh. > Peter perked up at that. go!> He quickly fired off a blast or > two from his armor, but saw that it had > no effect. Tuxedo Mask, striking a > 'ready' pose, lifted his cane into the > air, and called out, "Light of > Purity...SPARK!" RanmaX: And then watched helplessly as everything went up in flames. > The crystal at the top > of his cane bgan to glow with a white > light. There was the sound of temple > chimes, and a cool wind began to blow > across the battlefield. The light grew > brighter and brighter, until no-one > could see anymore. W4: Oh, great power. Blind your allies. Idiot. > AND ALL THAT YOU SAY Ranma X.: is meaningless dribble. > When the light subsided, everyone > looked down. All of the good guys were > clothed in armor the color of ivory, Kate: Meanwhile, in Africa, a group of elephants wonder what happened to their tusks. > while the villians wore dark grey. Each > had a sash that corresponded to the > color of their regular outfit. Naoko > still lay unconscious on the floor. > > AND ALL THAT YOU EAT W4: Will Give you Gas. Neo Vox: Eat at Joe's. Eat at Joe's. Eat at Joe's. > > The executive's eyes grew wide as he > saw the change that had been wrought. > > AND EVERYONE YOU MEET W4 : Okay. First, we'll take care of the guy behind us shouting in caps. Then we'll save the day! All : Right! > And suddenly, the tables were turned, > and he was on the run, as the various > senshi and villains began to pound him > with upgraded versions of their > standard attacks. Juking and jiving, he > was still able to sidestep most of > their shots. W4 (sighing): Great. Another no-sell. > AND ALL THAT YOU SLIGHT Zeek: *sigh* Skrib: What? Zeek: Can't think of one, after all, haven't slighted anyone lately. > Peter noticed this, and he grabbed > Usagi. Skrib : Hey. If Zoicite can feel Rei up... Ranma X: WHY YOU... Neo Vox : Hey, Usagi. Let's make bunnies. Ranma X: AAARGH! [Ranma X does a roundhouse swipe with his battle spatula. Skrib and Neo Vox manage to duck it. Ranma X falls back into his seat, a bit winded from the swing.] Neo Vox: Do you ever think we shouldn't bait him like that? Skrib: Naaaah. This is fun. ^_^ Ranma X: (groaning) I miss Signus... > "Combine your attacks!" he > yelled to her over the din. She nodded, > and the other senshi approached their > leader. They formed a circle, and an > aura flared about each of the girls. In > perfect sychronization, a beam of > energy shot from the hearts of each of > the senshi into the center of the > circle, where a silvery light was > formed. > > AND EVERYONE YOU FIGHT Zeek: Is evil or so they say, whatever happened to perspective people? > Kunzite and Zoicite hovered above > them, and aimed their energy into the > mass. It began to pulsate, and then > Peter and Halo, holding each other's > hands, added the power of their bond to > the attack. Ranma X: Because there's nothing more romantic than destroying the forces of evil with the one you love. Riiiight. Skrib: (blinks) It's not? > AND ALL THAT IS NOW Kate: Has passed. > The president hastily attempted to put > up a defense, but there is no refuge > for the wicked, when faced with the > vengeance of the good. Kate : I got your definition of the word "is" right here! ZAP! > AND ALL THAT IS GONE Skrib: Got sucked into a temporal vortex, and never was seen or heard from ever again. > The girls, as one, spoke: W4 : Math is hard! Let's go shopping! (Kate whacks W4 with her lance.) Ranma X.: Wow, This big scary enemy guy reminds me of my old boyfriend. > "Luminance." > He stood, arms crossed in front of his > face, as the energy erupted from the > midst of the senshi. For a moment the > light illuminated his face, but, before > anyone could react, he was swallowed by > the vortex. Skrib : Needed catsup. (urp) > AND ALL THAT'S TO COME Neo Vox: IT'S COMING! IT'S COMING! W4: WHAT'S COMING? Neo Vox: IT IS! > Time passed. Time passed, and nothing > happened. All of the players stood > where they were, with two exceptions. > Peter knelt by the crumpled form of > Naoko, his old friend and mentor, and > Halo knelt behind him, her hands on his > shoulders. Suddenly, Naoko coughed. > > AND EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN IS IN > TUNE Zeek: And on that day, the world ended. > With a glimmer of hope in their eyes, > everyone leaned forward. Slowly, Naoko > sat up and smiled. Everyone cheered, > some crying as they did. Halo leaned a > little closer to Peter, and they shared > a brief hug. > > BUT THE SUN IS ECLIPSED BY THE > MOON... Ramna X: That's going to pretty hard for Usagi to do. Zeek: And lo, Usagi's o-dangos did eclipse the sun and brought forth a new ice age... Skrib: And lo'...Usagi Mooned the sun and eclipsed it. > > > > > > > > > W4: What the...? Neo Vox: Do we need special shades to read this part or something? Zeek: Available in specially marked packs of "Sugar Cocaine Flakes" brand cereal! > > > > > > > > > Ranma X. : Ladies and gentlemen, my rendition of polar bears caught in a terrible blizzard! Diane: (Over the intercom) That was bad. When it was first told, it was when the dinosuars were still living. Zeek: They are some dinosuars in my homeland. > > > > > > > > > > Kate: So...what? Did the film break or something? (whaps the screen a few times with her lance) > > > > > > Neo Vox: War. War never changes. > > > > > > Skrib: I'm kinda hungry...is this damn thing over yet? > > > > > All: Nope. > > > > > Ranma X.:(Makes heart beating noises) W4: What are you doing? Ranma X.: Yeesh! I'm still disgusted you've never listened to Dark side of the Moon before... you people make me sick. (Kate hits him in the head with her lance. He falls unconscious) Skrib: (shakes his head) Baka. > > > > > Zeek : What? WE'RE STILL ON?!? Neo Vox : Yes! Quick! Type something! [Zeek mimics rapid typing.] Neo Vox : What? BOOGER? > A man was seated All: AAAAAAAAH! (general facefault) > at a desk, in a > rather luxurious office. He turns to > face a subordinate. "Did you get the > edited tapes from D.I.C.?" he asks. Ranma X: (Suborinate) What?! I thought you wanted me to make coffee! And what is D.I.C. by the way? NeoVid: (Man) Dumber Idiot Company. Kate: I bet it's Saban. W4: My money is on Viz. > "Yes, Mr. Saban, just like you W4: You looked ahead! Kate: I DID NOT! > ordered." Saban smiles deviously, > "Good..." W4: This is not good! This is not good! Ranma X: Stop sounding like a bad movie. W4: This is like watching a bad movie. What do you expect? Skrib: Something that makes bad movies win Oscars. Zeek: OSCAR! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHH! */ \* > >=====================>=================== >============================>============== > >=============>=========================== Kate: Now that's the biggest highway I ever saw and it's not completed yet. > AUTHOR NOTE: Anything that may not have > made sense on the first read- through Zeek: Like you expect us to go through it again and nitpick the plot... nevermind. Skrib: Oh, it's the director commentary edition where he talks over the story. > is most likely explained in the liner > notes, which are after the credits. If Skrib (author): ...you still don't get it, you're just a plain dumb schmuck who enjoys butchered translations of great anime series that should remain undefiled by greedy--MMPH! Neo Vox: (covering Skrib's snout) Stop channeling the author, Dragon. > I missed anything, mail me > (echo_albarn@hotmail.com)... Zeek: No wonder this story was bad. He was born in a barn. > > AUTHOR NOTE (ON NOTES): When/If you are > commenting on this work, please include > your e-mail address, so that I may > reply, with all niceties. I'll even be > nice to you when responding to flames, Skrib: Howzabout I breathe on your address instead? Ranma X: What does doing that prove? (Skrib morphs into chibi-dragon form.) Chibi-Skrib-D: This. *FWOOSH!* (Skrib breathes fire on W4. W4 coughs up a smoke ring and falls over.) Kate: (wincing) Ouch! (Skrib returns into human form.) Skrib: And why not? ^_^ > so even if you want to flame me, please > include your address... Kate: That's like asking Usagi to stop eating. > AUTHOR NOTE (ON PLAGARISM): Neo Vox: Plagarism? Kate: Stealing some that doesn't belong to you at all, even it's a pro works. Skrib: As if anyone would want to rip off this so-called "work". > I am so > deadly serious when I say that I have > never read Dr. Thinker's "Sailor Moon > meets DIC", (All riffers bug eyes and turn to the speaker) Kate: That's why you gave this strange fic to us! Dr. Thinker: Did not! Skrib: (eyetwitch) Yeah, right. Zeek: May I punish him now? > and I never even heard of > it until today, after the whole fic is > done. I do not want to make this a > rip-off, and I sincerely hope the > Doctor does not take offense that I > used DIC as the villain here. Dr. Thinker: (Over the intercom) No harm either, but my DIC Cheif is ging to cook your butt big time. Neo Vox: DIC...chief? > I'm SORRY, man...I never meant it to go > like this... Skrib: Too late. > ========================================== > This is a work of Fan-Fiction. Except > it's not being written by a fan. Kate: Because "Neutral-Person-Fiction" just doesn't quite have the same ring to it. > Go fig. Skrib: We don't wanna! Ranma X: Oh, yeah? Well, fig you, too! [W4 winces.] Zeek: Hey W4, wanna just tell these people to fig off? [W4 winces again.] Zeek: Guess not. > Sailor Moon and all related > elements (including herself) are > property of Naoko Takeuchi, Neo Vox: Naoko Takeuchi may be owned by Naoko Takeuchi, but that doesn't mean you can't rent her for the low, low price of 50,000 yen a day! Skrib: We take Visa and youma blood, but we don't take American Express. > and no > copyright infringement is intended on > the part of the author. Song Titles and > Lyrics, (C) 1973, 1979 Pink Floyd > Music, no infringement intended (as > above). "Embryonic Eclipse, Side 2", > the character of Peter Slovinsky, and > author notes, other than above unowned > rights, (C) 2000 Echo Albarn/ EMS > (Emergency MSTing System) Systems. La, > La, La-a-la-la, La, La-la-la, La, La... Kate: "La, La, La-a-la-la, La, La-la-la, La, La," "Sh-boom, sh-boom," and "Hey nonny nonny" are copyrighted by popular music from the 50s and the 60s. Zeek: Getting people to dress up like Elvis or get hairstyles like that of James Brown was not intended. >=========================================== Kate: (look down on the group near her start). Guys! I found something! All: (look at trap door) W4: (looks nervous) That is not a secret way out. Kate: Yeah, right! Dr. Thinker: No so fast! (The trap door disappears.) W4: Told you. [ALL grumble at W4.] > > EMBRYONIC ECLIPSE: LINER NOTES > > Q. What are liner notes? A. The liner > notes are found in a CD or tape or MD Skrib: The Master of Doom and the Creature of Doom don't want you to use their names again. > or whatever people listen to these > days. That's the information that talks > about how the album was made. As the > motif of an album was the main > structure of the work, I call these > liner notes. > > SPEAK TO ME Zeek: I don't wanna... > Q. Okay, at the beginning, why is Peter > thinking to himself, and not talking? > A. Peter happens to be only partially > conscious at that point, what with > getting shot and all. He wakes up, and > screams from the pain. > > BREATHE IN THE AIR Skrib: And all this time, I was trying to breathe in Jello. My bad. > Q. What Light, and who turned it off? > A. The light is just a metaphor, > really...a bit of filler. Even though > she says she turned it off, it's really > not important. All: Huh? > Q. So Peter is...? A. I designed the > character of Peter as having been Ranma: Arthur, King of the Britons! Zeek: How do you know he's a king? Ranma: I thought we was an autonomous collective. Zeek: No, we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take turns acting as a sort of executive officer of the week. > another anime character, one who just > had a stuntman's role in Skrib: "Debbie Does Dallas?" > "Akira", and > kinda wanted to see if this could be > where he would've ended up. It works > okay for me... > > Q. Who's Washu, and what's in the stuff > that Rei's injecting? Secondly, why > Rei? A. Firstly. Washu (or Washuu, > depending on translator) is a character > from the "Tenchi Muyo!" series, > who Kate: (Washu) Is the most brilliant scientist in the universe! Zeek [Washu Puppet A]: Hooray for Washu! Neo Vox [Washu Puppet B]: Washu's the greatest! [Kate, Zeek and Neo Vox laugh maniacally.] > happens to "the most brilliant > scientist in the universe", as one Dr. Thinker: (over lound speaker) You look head again for the umpeeth time today? Kate: I DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!! BOLT 4! (The loud speaker clashes down with a loud boom right on top of W4.) W4: Ouch! I feel like I've come out of a very metal rock band gig. Skrib: (scuttling as far away from Kate's seat as he can) Pretty scary lady can throw big bad nasty magic spells now... W4: Don't mind me. I'm still smoldering. X_X;; Neo Vox: Since when could lancers use black magic? Kate (smiling): Secondary ability. > fanfic put it. I figured I didn't want > to overuse Ami, who would be the > scientific one of the series, and Rei Skrib : Is a HOTTIE! Ranma X: Hey, Skrib, see what happened to W4? Skrib: Yeah. He's a well-baked mess right now. W4: Burble. X_X Ranma X: That'll be you next time you make a hentai riff. Skrib: ...eep? > does a lot of healing-type stuff, so it > seemed to fit. Senzu Bean (from Dragon > Ball Z): Bean that, upon swallowing, > restores full health and vitality, > healing all wounds. Zeek: Oh god...*shakes his head* that too? I think I'm gonna just declare war on these writers. W4: I could use one of those. Or possibly a six-pack. Dr. Thinker: You wash is my camera! (a senzu bean is dropped on W4...landing in his mouth) W4: Needs ketchup. [springs up, still smoldering but completely healed] >LCL (from Neon > Genesis Evangelion): Liquid that is > used in the lifecycles and everyday > maintenence of the Evangelion mecha > (EVAs). Not exactly sure if LCL is > deadly or not. If it is, I'll just > write it off as having been nullified > by the other ingredients. Skrib: Apparently, the author hasn't read "Children Of An Elder God" yet. > Nannichuan > Water (from Ranma 1/2): Water that, as > far as I know, cures curses. Ranma X: (eyetwitches) WHAT!?! That's IMPOSSIBLE!!! Doesn't this guy KNOW what the water from the Spring of Drowned Man really is? Skrib: So who's ranting now? ^^;;; Zeek : And just to think that Jusenkyo cured me of my uni-gender problem! Neo Vox : It also cured me of my 4-pound-of-bacon-a-day habit! > I was > inspired, partly by Nightbreak's > "Anipike" series, to have it so that > all the characters know each other, > speak to each other on their time off, > etc.. The minor crossovers appear other > times in the fic, such as when Makoto > pulls out a scouter. > > Q. Chicken Paprikash? What the hey? A. > Oh, all right...I admit it...I wanted > to force my will upon the series, All: [sarcastic] NO! REALLY? > just > like every other writer out there, so I > chose this minor way of doing it. > Chicken Paprikash is a dish made with > Chicken and Dumplings (technically > called spaetzle [I think I spelled it > right]), and seasoned with Paprika. I > like it, so shut up. Skrib: So, why are you upset? I like it too. Ranma X: You'd like anything, including pocket lint. Skrib: Yes. I like pocket lint, so shut up. Ranma X: I like okonomiyaki, so YOU shut up! Zeek: I like roast pheasant. Stop your yammering. Neo Vox: I like peanut butter and celery. Silence, you goons! Zeek: HELL NO! > Q. Don't tell me to shut up! A. Sorry. > I've been on edge lately. Kate: Then don't dump your problems on us! > Q. "Lemon" fanfiction? A. Not my > favorite topic, but one that crops up > regularly. Lemonfics take the > characters and put them into highly > sexual situations, then use > descriptive language. Kinda like > Limefics on Viagra. Neo Vox: Did not need that mental picture, dude. Skrib: Hai. ^-^_v > ON THE RUN W4: To the border... Kate: Shameless Fast Food Plug #1. > Q. What song was Peter playing along > to? A. I'd love to say something by > one of my favorite bands, but Peter is > not a self-insertion. ALL: [sarcastic] Of course not. > Therefore, I've > guessed that he might be playing along > with either Metal Zeek: Wrong theatre. Get back in the corner Mr. writer. > or 1980s music, two > styles that had a profound influence on > anime music. If you don't believe me on > the Metal part, watch "Bastard!", W4: First he tells us to shut up, and now he's calling us bastards. Zeek : I like paprika, so shut up. Watch, bastard. Shine my shoes, bitch. > where > every other city is named after an > American Heavy Metal band. W4: KISS Zeek: DURAN DURAN Kate: THE BEANGLES Skrib: AREOSMITH Kate: But I think "Pretty Solider Sailormoon" music is more like gospel or country. Neo Vox and Skrib : Don't fight S Moon! That whiny Sailor Moon! You-ma don't fight me anymore! > Q. A coffeemaker? A. This was my first > hint that something weird was going on > in the studios, and I figured I'd hint > that the Americans were behind it as > well. (All riffers gets the usually anime sweatdrops.) Zeek: As usual...maniac scientist, you will submit to the all mighty Yankees of the earth... Skrib: Yeah, why don't you hammer the details into our heads while you're at it. > Q. Who's Nav? A. Nav is a famous > self-insertion character from the story > "Bloodbath", who wants to kill all the > senshi, created by the author of the > same name. Skrib: YEAH! GO NAV! ^_^ Zeek: (horrified) I can't believe you actually support that freak... Skrib: So? He's after the Yamhead too, so that's fine with me. > Q. I'm a little 12-year-old girl who > watches Sailor Moon, and who are these > people you keep talking about...and > what are senshi anyway? A. WHY THE > HECK ARE YOU READING THIS? Kate (little girl): Waah! The mean nasty author is picking on me! > A2. I used > the Japanese names for all the > characters, and called them senshi (at > least, I tried to), their Japanese > titles. > > Q. I'm an obsessed 35-year-old fanboy > who's still living at home and you > messed up the name of an attack on > page- A. SHUT UP! GO AWAY! Skrib: There he goes again. W4: We wish we could go away. > Q. Why'd Naoko disappear? All : A. SHUT UP! > A. I was > sick of slowly building up suspense. I > mean, hell, the main character got SHOT > right at the beginning... Ranma X: Too bad he lived. > TIME > > Q. Miss Exposition? A. It should be > obvious to any fan of the series that > Ami always reveals the plot, a.k.a. the > Exposition. Kate: (Ami) Oh, that explains things. NeoVid: Can Echo explain when Saban got its hands on the strange unexplained DiC version. Kate: Can't explain that one. W4: Ami is Ayame? O_O > Q. You're using Japanese words! That > makes my brain hurt! Zeek : A. No. That's a headache caused by me yelling at you to SHUT UP! > A. fuku = Zeek: Actually the word FukU is near universal. (Kate whacks Zeek with her lance.) > school uniform skirt/type-thing baka = > fool, idiot, you Neo Vox : Yeah! You're an idiot! And a bastard! And your mother dresses you funny! W4 : I, my own self, think you are full of grade-A prime baloney! Kate : You're a bad bad bad bad wicked person! > Q. Oh, okay...hey! That wasn't nice! > A. > > Q. What's the point of the loud light > switch? A. This is another bit that > shows the American influence in the > studio. Sound effects are always much > more blatant in American cartoons, i.e. > "Scooby Doo"... (Daphne appears) Daphne: Where are you? (Daphne disappears) (Scooby-Doo appears) Scooby-Doo: Over here. (Scooby-Doo disappears) Ranma X: ...the hell? > Q. Cliche? Is that Japanese too? A. > No. That's French. It means something > that's been overdone, like Snidely > Whiplash's dialogue, or the classic > Ranma/Akane/Shampoo skit- Dr. Thinker: Carmen's robberies. Kate: Bug Bunny's "What's up doc?" line. W4: Sailor Soliders attacks. Ranma X: Woofer's hatred of puns. Skrib: Ranma X's Ukyou obsession. Zeek: MMK accusing me of stealing waffles. > SHAMPOO: Nihao! Ranma take Shampoo to > date? RANMA: No way! I've got to go to > school... AKANE: What's this about you > going on a date with Shampoo? . . . > etc. ad nauseum. Neo Vox : Of course, when I write it... Kate : Nihao! Shut up! Ranma X : No way! You shut up! Skrib : You bastards! > Q. The Blues Brothers? Who're they? A. > You poor, deprived person. W4: Okay. He's told us to shut up twice. He's called us bastards. And now he's calling us poor, deprived people. Cripes. Wasn't reading this enough of a slap in the face? Zeek : Silly reader-type persons! I fart in your general direction! > The Blues > Brothers were the comedy/music duo of > Dan Ackroyd (as Elwood Blues) and the > late John Belushi (as his brother > Jake). They first appeared on Saturday > Night Live in the late seventies. > Always showing up in matching black > suits, hats and sunglasses, the two > sang classic Chicago blues. They got > their own movie in 1981, and it still > holds the world record for most car > crashes in a single movie. It's a > classic. Kate: For dead people. W4: Issues? Kate: Nah, didn't like Blues Bothers 2000. W4: No one in the world likes that movie. (Dr. Forrester appears) Dr. Forrester: Thanks, Dr. Thinker, for a idea for a movie to give to Mike and the bots! (Dr. Forrester disappears) W4: We need to start charging admission to this place or something. Neo Vox: Yeah. I didn't ex- All: Don't say it! They'll probably show up, too! Neo Vox: Right. My bad. > THE GREAT GIG IN THE SKY Zeek: God's second riff. > Q. Why is the platform blue? A. This > is the film student in me talking at > this point. Ranma X : And the film student in me wants to say to you, "Shut up! You jerk!" > This platform would be used > for Chromakey sequences, where the > actor is placed in front of any > background possible, simply by having > an effects computer ignore all the blue > and in its place put the desired > background. This is most often used > with TV Weathermen. > > Q. Editing Deck? W4 : Nothing like a full deck, which you, the reader, are not playing with. And... oh, yeah. SHUT UP! Neo Vox: Bitter much, Woof? Ranma X: [grins] Welcome to my world. > A. Film student > again. It's kinda like two VCRs hooked > together, and it's used to edit footage > from one tape into a working piece on > another. > > Q. What DOES it have to do with Pink > Floyd? A. I'll answer that later. Zeek: AFTER ANOTHER CHAPTER! MUHAHAHAHHAHAHHA! > Q. What's "Koo-koo ga-joob"? A. It's a > line from the old Beatles song "I am > the Walrus" Kate: But not one of top #1 hits. Neo Vox: Y'know, I always believed that they wrote that song by pointing to random words in the dictionary while they were very stoned. > MONEY Neo Vox: Where the money? Ranmna X: Not here. Neo Vox: Dang! Skrib: SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! ^_^ > Q. Roger Waters? "Radio K.A.O.S."? W4: Bunny outfits? Skrib: Chocolate pudding? Zeek: One-armed man? > A. > This was an unintentional Pink Floyd > reference. I was trying to think of > some way to describe the psychic > connection between Halo [the voice] and > Peter, and this was the best way to > describe it. Roger Waters was the lead > singer and bassist for Pink Floyd > through the seventies, but left the > band sometime in the eighties. Neo Vox: His parting words were, "Screw you guys! I'm going home!" > "Radio > K.A.O.S." was his second solo album, > describing a radio station that is > protesting its corporate takeover by > playing nothing but Roger Waters. > Narcissistic, yes, but anyway, one of > the main characters in the story is a > boy who calls up the station with his > mind, etc., and in the end there's a > big nuclear crisis, really off-kilter > stuff... (BOOOOOOM!) Dr. Thinker: Hey! Make a metal note, W4. Get a better theather! W4: [sobs] That comes out of my paycheck... Ranma X: What are you talking about? Mervyn doesn't pay you! [W4 continues to sob.] > Q. Youma? Kate: Youma? Zeek: Ima? Kate: No. Youma. Zeek: Hesa? Skrib: What am I? Kate: Youma! > A. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? Kate: Well, I've- Skrib : IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU'VE BEEN! [Kate bristles.] > That's the Japanese name for demon/ > monster/undead baddie, used in place of > the horrifyingly American "Negamonster" > or some such crap. Dr. Thinker: You should talk, scraphead. > Q. Why not TOGGG? Zeek: How do you pronounce that? do you say tog, then have a hairball? W4: It's the sound that's made when Bun-Bun hits Torg over the head with a frying pan. Neo Vox : Time to die, nerd-boy! >A. "TOGGG" was a > sound effect found in the Ranma 1/2 > fanfic "The War", by M. Llave. It was > made light of in the MSTing of said > fic, and has kinda stuck with me since > I first read the MST. (Author Thinker appears) Author Thinker: If you want to look it up, go to Shinji's Vault of MiSTings and enter the Ranma 1/2 section. (Author Thinker disappers) Dr. Thinker: (Over the intercom) Not that's takes the cake. Skrib: Cake? Where? Kate: Don't tell me you're hungry already? Skrib: ^_^ > Q. MST? W4: Mystery Science Theather 3000. It's about a mad man like me, but his job is ruin the minds of a human and his two robots via bad movies. Kate: Such as Hercules vs the moon men. Dr. Thinker: (Over the intercom) or the Godzilla movies. Zeek: Or the mountain climbing episode. Skrib: Or Manos. (shudders echo thru the theatre) Ranma X: Have I ever told you how much I hate you, Dragon? Skrib: I thought you hated Siggy, my other Persona? ^-^_v >A. Don't ask irrelevant > questions. If you really want to know, > look it up! You do have internet > access, don't you? W4: (author) SHUT UP, AND GO READ A BOOK OR SOMETHING! > Q. Like you? Ranma X: Nice reversal! > A. Shut up...just 'cause > I don't have the internet doesn't > mean... All: (singing) Shut, shut up, shut up! Before I break your bones. > Q. "Captain Tylor seiyuu"? What's the > deal? A. Shameless Plug alert! Seiyuu Skrib (bad accent): Sez who? Zeek: He said seiyuu, Skribulous. Skrib: Sez who? Zeek: The author. Skrib: Sez who??? Zeek: The... ah, I'm not falling for that. Skrib: ^_^ > are voice actors, the people who > provide our favorite characters with > voices, and on "The Irresponsible > Captain Tylor" (Sometimes spelled > "Tailor") Skrib: And sometimes spelled "Sexy THANG." *THUMP* Oww... > My personal opinion is that > the English dub voices are better than > the original Japanese. Watch the Anime > for yourself. It's funny as heck. > > US AND THEM Ramna X: US=10:Them=0. W4: That's right! > Q. Rei's hair? Rei has black hair, you > idiot! A. HEY! I'm not an idiot. Kate : Cause my mommy told me so! > I'm > not talking about Sailor Mars there, > I'm talking about the First Child, > pilot of EVA-00, the unemotional Rei > Ayanami, from Neon Genesis Evangelion. > Her hair is light blue. Skrib: ...wai. W4: (facepalms) Skrib... > Q. What's the point of the dream > sequence? A. It made sense. Zeek: Oh, well THAT clarifies everything... > Other than > that, it's a very nice bit of > description, what with all the stuff in > the hall. As revealed later, it's > Peter's first meeting with Halo. W4: Like there's anything HOLY in this fic... Neo Vox: More like Devi. > Q. Chibi-usa? A. How many times must- > Q. Yes, we KNOW it's a Japanese name. > Just tell us who it is... A. Reeny. Q. > Ah. > > Q. Is this a bust on D.I.C.? A. Yes. > > ANY COLOUR YOU LIKE Zeek: Blue. Kate: Pink. W4: Green. Dr. Thinker: White. Daine: Gray. NeoVox: Purple. W4: Red. Skrib: Puce! W4: (gags) Skrib: Just kidding. > Q. What's a scouter? Zeek: Another reason why this fics shouldn't over-crossover to hell and back? Skrib: I've got to read that impro one of these days... W4: ^_^ > A. A scouter is a > small device that is worn over one ear, > and has a small transparent screen > extending before the wearer's eye. Neo Vox: So it's a TV? W4 : Can we postpone our fight, Goku? "Powerpuff Girls" is on. > Information about the power levels of > others is displayed on the screen. > > Q. Super-Deformed? A. This is when the > character is drawn in a compressed > fashion... umm... appearing like a > little stuffed version of themself. (Skribulous morphs into his chibi-dragon form.) SD-Skrib: Like this? Kate: Kawaii! (Kate glomps the chibi-dragon.) SD-Skrib: Ack! (Kate let Skribulous go as he goes back to normal.) > One > of the best instances I know of is in > the 3rd or 4th episode of Slayers, > where Lina is dreaming of the castle > she'd buy with the 3,000,000 bucks > she'd... Ranma X: That's assuming the reader actually watched Slayers to begin with. > but I digress. Neo Vox: More like regress.. > BRAIN DAMAGE > Q. What's a facefault? Skrib: ^-^ Kate: >_< W4: o_O Kate: ._. Skrib: x_x Zeek: -_- Neo Vox: ?_? Zeek: -_- Neo Vox: !_! o_@ Zeek: *nods* -_- Neo Vox: ^_^;; > A. I don't know > if I answered this already, but a > facefault is when someone says > something really stupid, the other > characters will fall to the ground in > response. Ranma X: For example... [to Skrib] How was your trip to Disneyland? Skrib: Aw, hell. It was a complete waste. Ranma X: Oh? Why was that? Skrib: I was a mile away from it when I saw a sign that read, "Disneyland Left." So I turned around and went home. [All save Skrib fall on their faces simultaneously, making a "WHUMP!" sound.] Diane: (over the intercom) Do you want to file that bad joke. Dr. Thinker: (over the intercom) Yes, Daine. Did it. > Q. What's "Zoe no Ecchi" mean? A. > "Zoe's a pervert." > > Q. What's the point of...I dunno. > What's the point here? A. For one > thing, I needed to separate Peter from > the senshi, so I could abuse him some > more, Zeek : And now, Peter, you must face... [Dramatic pause.] Zeek : ...THE COMFY CHAIR! W4 : I CONFESS! I CONFESS! > and the room that the D.I.C. exec > is (in my mind) a doppelganger of the > room that appeared in Peter's dream. > > Q. Why's Peter getting abused again? > A. 'cause he's not a hero, and this > was one of his great scenes, so he gets > treated like he's not a hero. > > ECLIPSE > > Q. What's with the boldface letters? > A. It's the lyrics to "Eclipse" by > Pink Floyd. Neo Vox: We should be grateful that he chose that over the Jiggilypuff song. > Q. Who are 14-year-old pilots of > giant robots? A. The 5 "children" of > NERV, the main characters from Neon > Genesis Evangelion. W4: And they're Blinky, Pinky, Inky, Clyde and Sue. Neo Vox: No. That would be Heero, Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, and Duo. Skrib: No. They're Tiny the Tiger, Dingodile, N. Tropy, N. Gin and N. Cortex. > Q. So the evil dubbers win in the end > because of Saban? A. Well, what > version of the show do we have here in > America? Exactly. Dr. Thinker: Uh? I thought Seagull did the job, until Progam Exchange got it. Zeek: Sailor Moon's doing the J-O-B for the S-A-B-A... [shakes head] Yeesh. I was channeling MMK and Gavok there for a second. > Q. "La, La, La-a-la-la, La, La-la-la, > La, La..."? Skrib: Tra-la-la, doo-bee-doo-ba. Neo Vox: Tra-la-la? Skrib: Tra-la-la. Neo Vox: Do re mi. [Both nod sagely.] > A. For those of you who > have read my MSTs, this is normal: The > copyright ending with a line from a > song, but an abstract line that can't > be placed easily. This one is from "A > Horse With No Name", by America. > > Q. What's the real story behind > Peter? He acts just like a self- > insertion... Skrib: Not in the slightest! If he did, he would have defeated the villains all by himself and scored with at least two of the senshi. > A. I really did not want > to make a s-i fic...I added the > character of Peter when I realized that > I do my best writing from the 1st > person- perspective, so I also came up > with the idea of trying to retire some > of my old characters. Peter Slovinsky > was created in late 1998, for a > roleplaying campaign involving the end > of the world. My character, the only > "normal" human, was a short, boisterous > Pole, Kate: And his significant other was a Scythe. > who was always looking for a new > thrill. The campaign stalled due to > people going to college, Ranma X : And nOw, I shAll dEstrOy thIs- Zeek : Sorry. We'll have to destroy the world some other time. I need to study for my Physics final. Ranma X : sOn Of A bItch! > and I never > really got to close off the story of > Peter. So I changed his backstory > somewhat and stuck him in here. He is > not me. Peter is a lot louder and more > exciting than me- W4 : When he yells at you to shut up, your ears ring for WEEKS. > I'm rather boring, > which is why I can't get a prom > date...but enough about my problems... Skrib: Feh. A self-insert is a self-insert, however you look at it. Neo Vox: Really? And what does that make you? Skrib: An avatar, and proud of it. ^-^_v > Q. Okay...so what was the point, and > how does Pink Floyd fit in? A. This > story is somewhat based on the Pink > Floyd masterpiece "Dark Side of the > Moon", and each of the chapters is > named for a song on that album. It was > divided into sides like on the album, > and several times, Kate: The needle skipped and scratched. > the song echoes > through the chapter, like in the > chaotic "Speak To Me", the dreamlike > "Us and Them", and the way that titles > end up in the dialogue, such as in > "Breathe In The Air". Purists will note > that I didn't put "Breathe In The Air > (Reprise)" as it's own track, but to > me, it's just kinda the end of "Time". > Like I said in the author notes from > the first part, this was inspired by > someone writing a dark lemon called Skrib: "Sailor Mercury Does Dallas?" > "The Dark Side of The Moon", Skrib: [snaps fingers] D'oh. [Ranma X grrs.] > and as far > as I could tell, had nothing to do with > Pink Floyd. The point of it all is that > I'm trying to rectify it. It's also > late and I'm babbling incoherently. > Maybe I should do a follow-up based on > "Wish You Were Here", the album after > "DSOTM"... Dr. Thinker: How, abut Halo working for Pioneer? W4: Why? Dr. Thinker: According to Anime on DVD, Pioneer is a good dubber. W4: You probably haven't watched any Pioneer yet. They made Ryoko and Washu sound like Roseanne Barr. Dr. Thinker: I'm waiting for Odin get a DVD player. > But, for now, I'm looking at > doing a different anime, possibly using > ELP's "Trilogy" album for inspiration. > Let me know what you think, even if > your thoughts are "You suck, get the > hell off the net!" Ranma X: Oh, don't get off the net. It'll make it that much easier for me to find you. [grins maliciously as he caresses his battle spatula.] > Anyway, I hope you liked it, and > sincerely hope that I'm not wasting my > time and yours... W4: Sorry, you waste some of my time to stop Akane and comma aduse. > E. Albarn (echo_albarn@hotmail.com) > EMS Systems MSTings: (not yet complete) Kate: Emergency Medical Sanity Systems? Zeek: Electro-Magnetic Shock Systems? >http://www.members.xoom.com/EMS_Systems/EMST.html > > EMS Systems' works can be found at > "Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings" > http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam W4 : Thank you, good night, and... All : SHUT UP! [A pause.] All: Urgh! Zeek: Ur....hey, wait a sec...It's over isn't it? Skrib: YAY! W4 : [groans] I have a headache in my whole body... */ \* The tired-out riffers come out of the theater to jump into about six huge boxes that make them look like ants. In turns out the boxs were on wheels. Each one of the boxes had a name written on it. Each name was one of the riffers. "What this?" asked NeoVid. "Looks like the Doc wasn't lying," stated Kate. "We'll see. The first's box is yours, Kate," stated W4. "Wow! 6 copies of Sega Saturn's Lunar: The Silver Star Story." said Kate. "It seems like my box is full of RPG games. Looks like there's four copies of all eight 'Final Fantasy' games in it. And pre-orders for Final Fantasy IX, X, and XI in my name." stated Kate shockedly. "I found my box. And it's semes to be platforms and some RPG games. It does have a couple of versions of Street Fighter series from Japan." stated Skrib. "Even got the two Spyro games for the Playstation." "I got a lot of games for my system." remarked Neo Vox. "I think I got all of them." "Me too," replied Ranma X. "I got 'Sim City', 'RPG Maker'. Seems like my games are Creators and a few action and racing games." stated W4. Zeek muttered, "Looks my stuff are hop & bops, action, fighters and RPG that are based in medival times periods." He walks away, as he carves a hole in the other side, and runs toward the doors, then turns around. "Hmmm..." Zeek then runs back into the box and some serious noise is heard, then he comes back out lugging a sack. "Well, what's up?" ask Dr. Thinker "Found the video games, I'm promised you?" "Wai! Vintage games! 'Tenchi Muyo!' 'Villgust!' Mucho Kewlness!" Skrib exclaimed. "Danke Bien and Salamat po, Doc!" "That was a rather unusual selection," Kate remarked. "Tales of Destiny and Vandal Hearts 2 are very wai, but what's with giving somebody Secret of Evermore and Quest 64?" "Then gimme those," Skrib said. "I'll trade you my Wild Arms 2 for the ones you don't like." "Wait!" Doc Thinker protested. "I'd not put in that Wild Arms RPG, it's wasn't out when I send you guys the fan-fiction in there!!!! I did place the original one though." "'Course you didn't," Skrib grinned, pulling out an original CD case from one of his lapel pockets. "I got this myself elsewhere. I can let this go, 'cause I always buy at least two copies of new games, one for personal abuse, and the other for storage." W4 blinked. "How did you manage to buy a brand new video game when you were still trapped in a Pokeball?" "Ah..." Skrib grinned. "Sore wa..." Kate dropped her entire box on top of Skrib. "Itee..." Ranma X. shrugs and says, "Yeah, but What am I supposed to do with three copies of Shaq-fu?!" "Trade it with Skrib, perhaps?" Neo Vox helpfully suggested. Kate just giggled like a school girl. "So what do you think of Pokemon OAV?" Ranma X. erred, "I want to say I hated it. I really do, but I get the feeling I'm going to see more of it..." Kate shrugged. "Not bad, but I preferred your Superfriends fic. That one was fun." Skrib groans. "I am NOT saying anything, thankyouverymuch..." "And now for the main, Echo's fan-fiction, E.E.?" "It was...different," Kate said. "I'm no huge fan of the DIC dubs myself. Echo's take on it was rather interesting, I'd say." "You're being awfully calm," Skrib said. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?" "Oh, never better," Kate answered with a smile. "Never better." Skrib raised an eyebrow. "..." "Ok! The doors open. You can leave know. Or W4, I think I know who was behind your mind takeover before I hit you the the Zipdisk." Kate blinked once. Skrib raised his eyebrow again. "She's here right now. Come in, CEO of Pioneer Anime Dept." shouted the Doc. In walked, non-other then Halo from E.E. "Did you get your DVD player, yet?" asked W4. "No. But she dropped by durning part 2 of part 1 of E.E." replied Dr. Thinker. "If you don't mine, I got to go home. See you. Diane, one to transport to the ship." In a flash of Trek-like light, Dr. Thinker was gone, and the yellow room fades back to a familar lab. That of W4. ################### Later at the Dr. Thinker Dub Lab Co. Doc Thinker sat at his monitor watching the new Tenchi Muyo DVD Diane got from a local Best Buy. "They rite," Thinker said to himself. "Ryoko sound lik Roseanna." Just then, a very huge Power Rangers-like robot appeared. "Diane! Opening hailing frequently." commanded Dr. Thinker. "Not replying!" Diane stated after a few seconds. "Then launch the Nav Bomb!" commanded Dr. Thinker. "You must be joking!" replied Daine. "I'm not." A computer voice stated. "LAUCHING IN 10....9...8...7...6...5..4..3..2..1..0!!!" The Nav Bomb was a large big red homing missing that hit the robot. It hit it right in the head. Revealing the drivers of the robot to be no other then Zeek, NeoVox, W4, Kate and Skrib. "That was a bad idea. Skrib!!" shouted Kate. "Sorry, but I didn't know what come over me at the time." replied Skrib. "Why are you here for?" asked Dr. Thinker. "A little payback." stated W4. The robot left arm picked up Dr. Thinker and Diane. Dr. Thinker and a familar face of fear of pain and harm. The robot hand squeeze them in it's hand. The upset Riffer watch as wire, gears and bloody body parts make the Studio worthless. Then, suddenly, a buzzer is heard, and a viewscreen slides down from the ceiling. When it turns on, a young caucasian male is seen, standing in front of some very familiar-looking doors. "Hi," he says, "If you don't know me, I'm Echo Albarn. And it's my fault that you suffered that way in the theatre." "Suffer?" Skrib grinned. "S'all right. It's actually a lot more bearable than some of the stuff Siggy writes..." "Yeah, well, I came down to the theatre to apologize to you personally, and I'm...uh, kinda locked in here." The group looked at each other for a few minutes, then, all at once, they smiled, nodded and promptly left the studio with their new toys. "Um...guys? Where are you going? Um, hello?" ***** In a house, somewhere in Ohio. "I bet you that lones are history." stated Diane. "Don't nied to bat you. I'm on the sam elin of thank as you. Now, by I bet our clones are just more then a pale of broken mechine parts and bloody skin cover items." stated Dr. Thinker. "Do you want to plin around around of that recing gime?" "Yes, master." stated Daine. "By the way, I sent a spy-orb to look for some fan-fiction for you." "Good." stated Dr. Thinker. ***** Later that night, a lone figure entered the darkened theater... through the secret entrance. "Thank you, W4," the figure said. "You've been quite a help to me. Now it's time for *my* revenge..." [The end - really! ^_^] ***** Author notes: Kate Malloy: Hrm...I kinda slacked off on this more than I should have. Sorry, gang. Real life has been rather hectic. But hey! I get to be the villain next! Wai! ...and that's all I have to say about that. ^_^ Neo Vox: Due to the sensitive nature of the ordeal with the ice cream, the being known as Neo Vox refused any comment. He is currently on a campaign of destroying local ice cream parlors. Rest assured, he will be back too. Ranma X: Wow. A lot of stuffs happened since I signed up for this MiST. School's done with, almost, I wrote some IFF parts and learned I have A LOOOONGGG way to go, I also learned that reading a Uber-long Resident Evil lemon is bad BAD BAAAD! for your health and general sanity. Ah well. As usual, keep the riffs going, keep the bad fics circulating and don't worry, I'll be back in the evil chair soon enough. (Though I may not be in the theater next time since right after vacation I'll be in Cancun for a week, then off to college like that) Ah. Such is life! Ranma X. Signus Megido: [Due to certain technical difficulties, the part of Signus Megido, self-proclaimed Surreal Author was played by Skribulous, D' Fat Dragon Scribe. We are sorry for the inconvenience this may have caused. Thank you.] ...You know, I'm somehow glad Siggy'll be back for the next Roasting, so I can go work on my long-neglected web site (FINALLY! ^_^) again. I'm pretty sure the former Evil Overlord Wannabe, who should be done with writing Ultra by now (plug:http://www.improfanfic.com/ultra), will hit it off with Dark Queen Kate. But don't tell any of them that. ^^;;; Ciao, and keep on writing, -Skribulous, D' Fat Dragon Scribe Not a Pokemon, really Zeek: Well, it was fun...utterly pointless, but fun, can't wait for my next mission... snicker Dr. Thinker: Yes, I was the sercet worker in the last ImproRiffing. I like hanging out with those gangs. The idea behind the quest appearance are that of a fourth wall. The fourth wall is a term in which the wall between fiction and reality is broken. Kind of like the movie, "Galaxy Quest" and the upcoming movie, "The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkie". Well, sayannoa for now! Signed by The Worst Writter on The Web Dr. Thinker W4: (Sounds of crickets chirping) And in IFR tradition, the Secret Worker: Guten tag! Tis I, John Stoddert, AKA Ryan "Ripper" Jakobi. I just did some editing and translating. Added a few riffs. But not too much. I was actually in Japan during this episode, so I didn't have a real chance to sign up, but it's okay. Always like to be behind the stage, especially covering for a legend like Thinker. No, really. Hope you liked the thing, and please give generously. --rJak And in not so much tradition as need of manpower, the working editor: Well, yo. And Grüss Gott, Stoddert. Well, seeing as the last editor missed quite a few spots (Not too much? Damn straight, Jakkers.) I took it upon my shoulders to finalize this. Hey, I'm a certified workaholic. Don't knock my dedication. Anyways, it wasn't too much work, though there were quite a collection of errors and such (have *you* tried translating Thinkerese into English, folks?)... But enough bragging, let's try some false modesty instead. It was fun to work on, and that's the whole point, okay? Buh-bye now, people! And write faster, you damn underachievers. --Jonatan Streith Stinger: > After Ash's mother hangs up > and Prof. Oak calls in. Prof. Oak ask > if Ash had any new Pokemon? Ash tells > he got three Pokemon. Prof. Oak jumps > up and does a dance and a weird poetry > (The following).