*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

Indie Madnesse proudly presents:

IMPROFICROAST: Improvisational MiSTing
               or
               How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Come Up With Riffs In
               Two Days
               http://www.students.rhodes.edu/%7Eknoke/indie/indie.html

Episode 001:   The Dark, Bottomless Well
               (The Signus/Skrib Remix)

Participants:
-Aponar Kestrel (aponar@orbitworld.net)
 Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion
-Madsman (madsthebeast@eudoramail.com)
 Intro, MiSTing
-Mark Poa (recklessflyer@mechpilot.com)
 Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion
-NeoVid (neovid@hotmail.com)
 Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion
-Ranma X (drstupid@geocities.com)
 Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion
-Signus Megido (maramala@hotmail.com)
 Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion
-W4 (indiemadw4@home.com)
 Intro, MiSTing, Conclusion, Guest Villain, Editor

*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

OBLIGITARY LEGAL BLAH

        MST3K & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best 
Brains Inc.
        M. Bison, Sagat, Vega, Jedah, and Felicia are owned and
copyrighted by Capcom.
        Sie and Athena are owned and copyrighted by SNK.
        Washuu and Ifurita are owned and copyrighted by Pioneer.
        Hiroshi is owned and copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi.
        Magical Crossover Troubleshooting Tournament Fighting Federation
is an Improfanfic work.
        Aponar, Mark, Madsman, NeoVid, Ranma X, Signus and W4 are owned
and copyrighted by their respective authors.
        ImproFicRoast is owned and copyrighted by Indie Madnesse.

*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

        W4 stared at the letter which he tightly clenched in his hand.
Snarling, he read it out loud.  "Dear Mr. Watson," he began.  "We are glad
that you are showing concern for your your country.  However, we at the FBI
do not believe that Akane Tendo and comma abuse are high-priority
national threats.  Thank you for your time."
        W4 was red-faced with anger.  "THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME?  NOT HIGH-
PRIORITY NATIONAL THREATS?!?!?  THE FOOLS!!!!!!!!" he shouted.
        W4 slammed his hands on a table and growled.  "They want
high-priority national threats, do they?  Well, high-priority national
threats they'll get!"  he announced to an audience of one: himself.
        He stormed to his bedroom and pulled out a green lab coat.
Throwing it on, he laughed manaically and yelled, "So swears the Mad Dr.
Kichigaisakka!  NYAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"

*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

        Meanwhile, at the Indie Madnesse studio, all was not well.  Aponar
Kestrel and Ranma X were currently glaring at each other.
        "You... you killed my plotline," Aponar muttered.
        Ranma X shrugged and explained, "West Eastwood High is no place for
Sailor Scouts and Dark Queens.  I simply brought order to it the same way I
brought order to Chosen Warriors."
        Aponar chuckled.  "And I'm sure all two of its readers are grateful
for that," he mused.
        Ranma X crossed his arms and harumphed.  "At least my Genie Chapter
hasn't been ruined..." he muttered to himself.
        Aponar grinned evilly. "Well, I know what I'm doing next week..."
        Ranma X blanched. "You wouldn't dare."
        "Hey, e X ! l e!  You said you'd meet me here!" a voice shouted.
Aponar and Ranma X glanced at the new arrival.
        "...NeoVid?" Ranma X asked.
        NeoVid nodded.  "Yeah," he answered.  "Have either of you seen
e X ! l e?"
        "What does he look like?" Aponar asked.
        "Um..." NeoVid tried to think of a description for the world's most
nondescript avatar. "Well, he wears grey robes, keeps his face in the
shadows all the time... and will hit you with a stick if you say something
moronic or perverted."
        Aponar and Ranma X shook their heads, fighting the urge to
bigsweat.
        Madsman and Signus Megido strolled onto the Indie Madnesse studio.
"As I was saying," Signus explained, "if you reconfigure your i/o ports, IP
settings and reinstall the fluxificator, your email should work just fine."
        Madsman got swirly-eyed.  "I'll stick with message board postings,"
he replied with a bigsweat.
        Signus shrugged. "If you want to, suit yourself. But in my opinion,
why settle for doing things *the easy way*, when you can do things *the
hard way*?  Hey!  Anyone here seen Woof?"
        NeoVid shook his head.  Aponar resumed glaring at Ranma X.  Ranma X
glanced at Signus and said, "Hey! You're that guy that killed my entire
dramatic scheme of Yoshi, Cleo, Alex and Hikaru!"
        Signus' eyes narrowed as he recognized Aponar and Ranma X. "I know
you two... Ranma X, do you have any idea how much damage control I have to
do to fix up your plot holes? That goes double for you, Aponar, once my
part rolls around."
        The two glared at Signus. "Yeah? What of it?" They snarled.
        Madsman tugged at Signus' long coat sleeve. "Uh, Signus... don't
antagonize those two. It'll be bad news if you cross them both." 
        Signus shrugged. "So? I wrote for Do-Gooders." 
        Everyone else gulped. 
        "Is this where the 'Please Stop Comma Abuse Foundation' is
meeting?"
        Aponar, Madsman, NeoVid, Ranma X and Signus turned to the newcomer
with confused stares.  "What the...?" the asked in unison.
        Signus grinned. "*Kabayan!* (trans: Friend!) What're you doing
here?!?"
        Mark Poa entered the studio, panting.  "I said..." he gasped,
"...is this... the..."
        "...no," NeoVid replied icily.
        Mark caught his breath.  "Darn," he muttered.  "I guess I took a
wrong turn at the FAQing Hostile studio."
        "You mean, there IS a FAQing Hostile studio???" Madsman asked in
surprise.  "I thought it was already... you know..."
        "Gone? Disappeared? Nah, it's way back there near the Chosen
Warriors barnshack." NeoVid used his thumb to point out the location of the
aforementioned place.
        "No wonder I couldn't find it," Madsman mused.
        Madsman noticed the others staring at him. Mads quickly folded his
arms, looked nonchalant and said, "Not that I was looking for it or
anything!" 
        Mark Poa continued, "I was supposed to report to this meeting.
Something about a trial or something."  He pulled up a paper from his
pocket and showed it to Madsman and Signus. Both noticed the phrase "BE
AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" written in the bottom, crossed
out with a red felt marker. 
        Sig asked, "and you were going to this?"
        Mark pocketed the paper and grinned. "Why not? I was invited." Sig
gave him a "You're weird" look. "Although, I would like to find W4 first,"
Mark added.
        Madsman thoughtfully remarked, "I didn't know Woof sells
insurance..."
        "The only thing that took a wrong turn at FAQing Hostile studios is
FAQing's plot," NeoVid mumbled.
        An attractive secretary ambled over to the six authors.  "Excuse
me, gentlemen," she calmly stated.  "Your presence is required in the
Theater Of Pain."
        "Theater of Pain?" Madsman repeated while Aponar and Ranma X stared
at the attractive secretary.
        "Do I know you?" Signus asked. 
        Ignoring Signus, the secretary continued explaining.  "It's a new
addition to the Indie Madnesse studios.  All will be explained when you
see it."
        The six authors looked at each other, exchanging looks of
confusion, suspicion and dread.
        "I have a bad feeling about this," Madsman admitted.
        Signus nodded. "I know how you feel. Somehow, that title sounds
familiar..." 
        "Back were I come from, 'Theaters of Pain' are waffle houses,"
NeoVid mused.  This earned a heartfelt "You're Weird," stare from Signus.
        Aponar shrugged.  "Mervyn and Woofer seem on the level.  Let's see
what this is about."  Jerking his thumb at Ranma X, he concluded, "But I'm
not sitting next to Dark Queen Hunter over here."
        Ranma X stopped looking at the secretary's cleavage and grred at
Aponar's comment.
        Madsman sprouts a question mark over his head. "Ano... what's this
about?"
        Signus felt a headache coming on.  "Not now, Skrib," he whispered. 

*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

        "This way, gentlemen."
        The secretary ushered the group of six into what looked like a
one-row movie theatre with six seats.  The secretary left, locking the
door behind her.
        "I KNEW IT WAS A TRAP!" Aponar shouted.
        The rest glared at him unfavorably.
        Madsman and Mark Poa tugged at the door.  "It won't open!" Mark
shouted.
        "Stand back," Ranma X sighed.  Madsman and Mark stood back.  Ranma
X attempted to break down the door with a flurry of kicks, but the door
did not break down.
        NeoVid tried not to snicker.  He rolled up his sleeves.  "Allow
me!" he shouted, sending grey chaos power coarsing towards the Theater's
only door...
        ...which bounced off it, nearly missing Signus.
        "HEY!" Signus shouted.
        "...sorry," NeoVid muttered.
        Signus grumbled, then stared at Aponar.  "Well, you got us into
this mess.  How do you propose we get out of it?"
        "YOU DON'T!" a voice boomed.
        The six turned to the screen and saw the Mad Dr. Kichigaisakka
smiling insanely at them.  "You are trapped in the theater, and none of you
leave until you have suffered through some low-grade fanfiction!"
        "No! Not West Eastwood High 3 again!" cried Aponar in possibly-mock
despair.
        Ranma X bapped Aponar in the back of the head with
probably-not-mock annoyance.
        NeoVid shrugged. "OK. That's what I do with my free time anyway,"
he casually admitted.
        "Aw, crud! Those always make my head hurt!" Mark shouted.
        "Wai!!!" Madsman cheered.  "Finally I'll get some new e-mail!!!"
        Everyone else, including the Mad Doctor, facefaulted.  "What's
this guy on?" Mark asked no one in particular.
        The Mad Dr. Kichigaisakka picked himself up and sighed.
        Signus screamed. "YOU! I KNOW YOU!!!" 
        Dr. Kichigaisakka smiled evilly. "Why, hello there, Signus
Megido... also known as Skribulous, D' Fat Dragon Scribe, and The Guy I
Once Met While Playing Parcheesi In The Park On A Rainy Day. How good of
you to join us today." 
        As the others watched, a huge golden dragon-shaped aura surrounded
Signus. "Dr. K..." Signus growled in a tone of voice that somehow sounded
more reptilian than human, "why are you doing this? I thought we had an
deal!"
        Neovid blinked. "What deal? And who's this joker?" 
        The dragon aura flickered and disappeared. "It's an unspoken
agreement, actually," Signus explained to the others in his normal human
voice, "I would write an Impro part, and he would follow up next after I
finish mine. It's, like, tradition, you know?"  Signus glared back at the
screen. "I don't know what game you're planning on, but I will have no
part of this!" 
        "You just don't GET IT, do you?" the Mad Dr. Kichigaisakka mocked.
"None of you do!  This is all part of my master plan!  Once I have found
the worst stories on the internet... the ones capable of draining your
very spirit and lives from your bodies... I will use it to RID THE WORLD
OF AKANE TENDO AND COMMA ABUSE!  NYAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"
        "But how will bad fanfiction kill Akane?" Madsman asked.  An idea
struck him. "What!? You mean, she's here!?"
        "And isn't Akane IMAGINARY?" Signus added.
        "And don't bad fanfictions PROMOTE comma abuse?" Mark Poa noted.
        "And what's the big idea of choosing us of all people?" Ranma X
defiantly added.
        "Woof, you have GOT to lay off the caffienated sugar cubes, okay?"
NeoVid chided.
        "Yeah, Woof.  If you aren't going to share, then forget it!"
Aponar concluded.
        Without looking, Signus idly chucked a foam bat at Aponar's general
direction. 
        The Mad Dr. Kichigaisakka sighed.  "You've got questions," he
noted.  He then pulled out a teddy bear.  "And I've got a man-eating
kodiac!  Obey me!"
        "Budget cuts?" Aponar asked, dryly.
        "That is sooo... lame. Like, I'm so scared out of my
pan-dimensional long coat, or something," Signus sarcastically replied. 
        NeoVid blinked. "He's got a maneating camera?"
        "KodIAC, not KODAK, you fool!" Ranma X snapped.
        "How's he gonna attack us through that screen?" Mark asked Signus.
        Signus facepalmed. "You _DON'T_ want to know."
        Madsman gasped, "Oh my God!!! He's holding a man-eating kodiac
hostage!  The fiend!"
        Everyone just STARED at Madsman.  "Right..." Ranma X commented.  "I
hereby dub thee this group's Guy Who Just Doesn't Get It(tm)."
        "...at any rate, I'm going to have to subject you to 'The Dark,
Bottomless Well', arguably the worst thing I've ever written!"
        Ranma X asked, "Even worse than 'The Slayers Horror Picture Show?'"
        "Slayers Horror WHAT?!?" Madsman blurted out.
        "Hey! I liked that fic!" 
        Everyone turned to Signus nervously. 
        "Okay," Signus sheepishly added, "not that it's really that
good..." 
        The Mad Dr. Kichigaisakka announced cheerfully, "The captain has
turned on the 'No Hope' sign, so sit down, shut up, and read your
gosh-darn trashy omake!"
        "WE'VE GOT OMAKE SIGN!" the six trapped authors shouted.
        Signus whispered to himself, "Skrib? You still there?... This is
your fault, you know." 

*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

[Ranma X pulls out a box of Glico pocky.  Everyone looks confused.]
Ranma X: What?
Mark: You brought some and you didn't tell us?!?
Aponar: You bastard!
Signus: Come on! Share!
[Everyone wrestled Ranma X to the ground and get their share of Pocky.]
Ranma X: [groans] Remind me not to bring some next time I come here.
Signus: Don't worry, we won't. ^_-

> Bison hovered in his base, 

Signus: Look! A floating doorman!
Mark: No, it's the flying buffalo! 

> a cruel smile on his face. 

NeoVid: Hey, it rhymes! 
Signus:(as Bison) Yo! Word to yo motha! Yo!

> This day had proven
> to be most... satisfying. 

Ranma X:(As Bison) I love chocolate...
Madsman:(as Bison) Nothing like a relaxing massage with Cammy White...
        [drools]
Signus: [facepalms] Baka. Miss Cammy is nothing like Shermie. 
Madsman: Mmm... Shermie... [drools some more]

> Not only did
> he control Ifurita and those so-called
> Psycho-Soldiers, Sie Kensou and Athena
> Asayamiya,

NeoVid: Sadly, he still didn't control the one from King of Fighters,
        since her name was Asamiya.
Ranma X: You're doing grammar riffs?
NeoVid: Only if I can make an actual joke out of 'em.

> but Washuu, that sorry
> excuse for a scientist, was barred from
> Omega. Though she would likely attempt
> retribution through other channels, 

Mark: (As Washu) Let's see... Nope, not CNN...  Nah, Fox is too much...I
      know! I'll use ESPN to get back at that red-caped jerk!
*All look at Mark*
Mark: What?
Signus: Kabayan, never do that again. You sound like a chipmunk.
Mark: [sweatdrops] Oookay.

> her petty attempts were of no concern to him.
> Or, to make a long story short:

Signus: ...Bison gets in a pointless fight, but nothing really happens.

> Megalomaniacal, power-hungry bastards,
> 4; Forces of "good", 0.

Aponar: [on a cell phone] Get me my broker. Tell him to sell my stock in
        power-hungry bastards and buy stock in forces of "good."
Ranma X: So, is the struggle of power akin to hockey, or soccer?
Madsman: I think in his case its more like table tennis or badminton
Signus: [raises eyebrow] So whatever happened to the Forces of "evil"?
Mark: Cloud's busy fawning over Aerith. 
Signus: This omake was written before URB, you know. 
Mark: Kamiversal Jack? Figures... 

> "And yet..." Bison mused to
> himself, "...I must have more 

NeoVid: (wussy Bison) ...Pastels in this decor! It's clashing with my evil
        general's uniform!

> power!" 
> He kept repeating, 

Mark: and repeating, and repeating,...
Signus: Switch to Energizer. 
Mark: They keep going, and going, and going... 
Both: [making drumming sounds] BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM-BA-BOOM...
[The others stare at the two.]

> "I must have more
> power!" until it became a shout 

Madsman: He shouts even while musing to himself.
Signus: A true sign of an Evil Overlord. 

> that echoed throughout 

Aponar: ...Woofer's empty head.
Dr W4: [on speakers] I'll get you for that.
[Everyone smacks Aponar.]

> the base. 

Aponar: Is that narcissism or just a sick love of power?
[All blink]
Mark: I...don't want...to know.
Ranma X : Bad Image! Bad Image!!

Signus: Sounds like the inside of Shadaloo HQ is pretty hollow. 
Madsman: Much like the inside of Bison's skull. 
Aponar: Or... 
[The other authors glare at him.]
Aponar: ...never mind. 

> Down in
> her room, Athena sobbed while Sie held
> her tight and cursed his own weakness.

Mark: (Sie) DAMN! I can't even score when she's in emotional distress!
Ranma X: (Athena) sniff I'm crying because you're holding too tight, you
         idiot!
Signus: [sarcastic] Gee, how nice of you, Kensou, dissing the girl you
        love.
Madsman: I don't think he's referring to Athena, Sig. 
Signus: What?  [horrified expression] You mean, Sie and Bao... 
[Signus facefaults.]

> Sagat and Balrog, who had been
> sparring, found themselves shuddering
> involuntarily. 

NeoVid: Wait, I thought they were just sparring, not- OW!
Aponar: The raw stench of homo-eroticism was overwhelming...
All: SHUT UP!!!
Signus: "Sparring"? So that's what they call it now? 
All: KYAAAH! 
[All the others beats on Signus with his own arnis stick.]
All: Bad mental image! 
Signus: Oww.... What did I say? +_+

> And even Ifurita found
> herself cringing.

Signus: Ifurita can't feel anything, much less cringing. 
Mark: She must be the TV series' version. 
Signus: [cringes] Don't scare me like that.

> Bison concluded his shouting by
> floating down onto his throne. 

Madsman: (Bison) Shouldn't have had all that bran...

> "If I am to rule this planet, I must gather
> more troops and material. 

NeoVid: (wussy Bison) And that material had better be in muted colors this
        time!
Signus: As opposed to gathering more powerful weapons of mass destruction,
        invincible equipment for world conquest and other valuable
        resources to fuel his grand ambitions. Bah, amateur. 
Mark: [blinks] Personal experience, Sig? 
Signus: [whistles innocently] O;p

> I must show them ALL that Bison is a force 
> without equal." 

NeoVid: [nodding sagely] Yup, definitely old-school Evil Overlord. 
Signus: (M.Bison) First, I shall eliminate all the Cowboys and Indians... 
Mark: [facepalms] That wasn't funny, you know. 
Signus: (as Hiroshi) Work with me here! 
[Cue flying microphone that clocks Signus!]
Hiroshi: [from Offscreen] Stealing my shtick, will you?
Signus: [sweatdrops] ...

> Bison sat in his throne for an 
> hour, holding his chin in deep thought.

Madsman:(as Bison) Rodin...eat your heart out.

> Then, a thought struck him. 

Signus: WHACK (Bison) OWIE!

NeoVid: But since the said thought wasn't wearing any seatbelts, it died
        on the spot upon impact, leaving M. Bison to plot and plan by
        himself.
Mark: (as Bison) Ow! That hurt! PSYCHO CRUSHER!
Signus: (as thought) AAIEEE!!!
Madsman: I'm not surprised it took him an hour to come up with one thought.

As he rose from his throne, 

Mark: This scene took place while Bison's taking a crap?
NeoVid: The only crap here is what we're reading.
Signus: If only he died there like Elvis so this fic would end...
Ranma X: Hey Bison! Wash your hands there!
Aponar: If he has the runs...does that mean Bison is stampedeing?

> a vile smile
> formed on his face. 

NeoVid: And an even viler one formed on his a- OW!
Ranma X: (As Bison) I didn't flush... heh heh heh.

> "Why didn't I
> think of that before? 

Signus: Because you only think on special occasions?

> That will do
> quite nicely..."

NeoVid: Of Course! I can use giant lemmings to take over the world!!!

> */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

All: ooh. aah.
Signus: [singing] One / little two / little three / little Injuns...

> { M A G I C A L C R O S S O V E R }
> { F I G H T I N G F E D E R A T I O N }

Signus: Whatever happened to Troubleshooting?
NeoVid: On strike, maybe? How in Hell should I know?

> { .-----------. }
> { | U-L-T-R-A | }
> { `-----------' }
> { http://www.pixelscapes.com/improfanfic }

Mark: No, now it's just www.improfanfic.com.
Madsman: We have broken free from the clutches of pixelscapes! AHAHAHA- OW!
Aponar: One megalomaniacal bastard is enough without having to watch YOU
         go at it!...
Madsman: [sheepishly] Sorry...

> The Dark, Bottomless Well

Signus : Baby Jessica! You down there? [after a thought] Oh... It's
         bottomless... Guess not.
Ranma X: ...Where this omake fic should be tossed into. 
Aponar: You wish.

> An Omake brought to you by Woofer-san (aka W4)

NeoVid: The Dark, Bottomeless Well... in other words, Woofer's mind.
Dr W4: [on speakers] I'll get you for that, also.
[Everyone smacks NeoVid.]
Signus: [whistling] Here, Woofy, Woofy, Woofy... C'mon, Woofy,
        Wo--*THWAP!* OW!!
Dr W4: [on speakers] And that goes double for you, smarty!
[Everyone smacks Signus.]

> */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

Signus: [singing] Four / little five / little six / little Injuns...

> Jedah came to, surveying his
> now-decimated spirit room. 

Signus: [blinks] Who's Jedah? 
Mark: One of the characters of the Darkstalkers fighting game series. 
Signus: [drools] Mmm... Hsien-ko... Mei-ling... :p~~~~~~
Madsman: [facepalms] ...at least it's not the Aenslad siblings. 
Signus: [indignant] What do you think am I? Some sort of raving sukebe of
        a hermaphroditic reptilian roricon otaku? 
NeoVid: [shrugs] You said it. 
Signus: ...Touchè. -_- 

> That last battle, and the way his plan to unite
> all souls within his dark dimension was 
> decimated much like his vile den, was
> disgusting 

Signus: I mean, who wants to see an X-rated film of that?!?

> in its irony. 

Ranma X: It was decorated in pastels.
Mark: (Bison) Pastels! Wai!

> He, one of
> the three noblemen of the dark world,
> was soundly defeated... by a cat-girl.

NeoVid: He was soundly defeated by her 'Allergy Attack'...
Aponar: ... used in tandem with her 'Hairball Barrage'!
Signus: These puns are getting lame.
Mark: How come all anthromorphic cat humanoids are girls?
NeoVid: hmmm... catgirls...
[Everyone looks at him funny.]
Madsman [to Mark]: Do YOU want to see MEN running around scantily-clad in
        white fur?
Mark: ...
Madsman: Thought not.
Signus: Waitaminute... Catgirl... NUKU-NUKU!!! WOOOHOO!!! You go, girl!
        ^_^

> There was no way in hell that the other
> demons would let him live that one down.

Ranma X: (Nelson Muntz) Ha-ha.
Madsman: (Bill Gates) Nyah nyah!

> Jedah took a moment to preen
> himself. 

Ranma X: (Jedah) Let's see, head under the wing... freakin' birds said
         this is the way...

> He stood upright and wiped
> some dust, lint and gore from his outfit.

Mark: (Jedah) Stupid cleaners!
NeoVid: (Jedah) They always leave presidential candidates stuck to my
        clothes!
Madsman: That's what happens when you leave your stuff there for three
         weeks.
Signus: Ewww.
Aponar: I'm surprised you'd react to something like that. Normally...
Signus: [interrupting] Hush, author avatar!

> He stretched his wings and gave them a
> couple of test flaps. The sharp,
> metallic clang that they produced was
> music to his ears. 

Aponar: To anyone else's ears, it would be mindnumbing noise.
Signus: Metallica? 
RanmaX: Which one are you riffing anyway, the fic or the band? 
Signus: [shrugs] Pick whichever you like. 
Mark: Playing it safe, huh? ^_^

> He frowned at the claw marks left on his suit. 

Signus: [squinting] "Have... a... nice... day..." 
Mark: [disbelief] Don't tell me... you can read claw marks? 
Signus: Sure, Skribulous taught me this trick! It's like chicken scratches.
        Look for the hidden message! 
Mark: [dubious] Okay. [squints] "If... you... can... read... this...
      you... hack... riffers... are... bored... geeks..." (blinks) Wha?!? 

> It irritated him when the souls he
> claimed didn't see him looking his
> best.

Mark: (Soul) Woohoo! Check out Jedah's outfit!
Signus: (Soul) It's, like, so yesterday!
Aponar: (soul) Tsk... and he came so highly recommended...

> "No matter," he muttered,
> grumpily, to no one in particular. "In
> the end, all souls must return to
> darkness. 

Mark:(As soul) But I don't wanna go there.  I'm scared of the dark!
Madsman: Gee, Jedah, do you angst much?

> Now that I have arisen, I
> can begin again and bring relief to the

NeoVid: (Jedah) ...hemmeroid sufferers!

> souls!"

Signus: Hey, he's stealing the Orochi's shtick! 
Madsman: You think the Orochi would notice? 
Signus: [sighing] I hope so, the better for the Orochi to send this turkey
        into the Void. 

> "Yes, but not the way you think."
> Jedah turned to face the intruder.
> He saw a hovering human in a red outfit

NeoVid: (Jedah) No... it's... THE MULTIMEDIOCREKNIGHT! *Rimm-shot*
Madsman: (Jedah) Christmas already?
Aponar: (Jedah) Aha! A hemmorhoid sufferer!

> hovering a few yards away from him.

Signus: (Jedah) Oh yeah? You come into MY yard and say that! 
(pause...) 
Signus: (as Jedah) Hey, a flying Doorman! Neat! I always wanted one of
        those!

> The eerie smile on the human's face
> reminded him of the many Darkstalkers
> that he had fought. 

Signus: Specifically who? Most of the Darkstalkers look pretty dorky... 
[The shadow of Skribulous, the dragon author avatar connected to Signus,
 looms ominously behind the group!]
Skrib: [eerie smile] You consider the lovely Hsien-ko and Mei-ling dorky? 
Signus: [sweatdrops] Okay, I take that back. 
Skrib: ~^v^~ 
Signus: You're dorky. ;p
Skrib: [hocks up a fireball] *PTUI!* 
[Skribulous attempts to roast the riffing cast, managing to toast Signus
in his seat with a Spitfire.  The draconic aura disappears, leaving a
charred author avatar behind.  The others roast marshmallows over a
smoldering Signus.]
Signus: [still smoking] I am not amused. 

> What piqued
> Jedah's curiosity was the powerful aura
> that the mortal radiated. It was almost 
> like... 

NeoVid: ...He had been eating nothing but chili and burritos for six weeks.
Ranma X: So we're trying for highbrow riffs now?
Signus: (as Picolo) Such... power... 
Mark: I thought you hated that series so you won't use any DBZ refs unless
      the fic happens to be really bad. 
Signus: Yup! ^_^ 

> no, it was exactly like the
> dark energies on which demons sustain 
> themselves.

Signus: Jolt Cola, for all your waking needs! (sips from the Jolt can) 

> Jedah spoke, "And who do you think
> you are?"

NeoVid: (Bison) I am a hemmorhoid sufferer!
Aponar: (as Yakko) We think, therefore we are, the Warner Brothers!
Madsman: (as Dot) And the Warner Sister!

Signus: (as Bison) The Postman. 
Mark: That's pretty obscure. 
Signus: Thanks! ^_^ 

> Bison replied, arms crossed and
> still hovering, "I am your new master,
> o fallen dark angel of the souls."

Signus: (as Bison) Now kiss my boots and call me Queen. 
Madsman: [eyetwitch] ... 
Signus: [defensive] Well, he has all that leather on... 

> Jedah was not amused by this turn
> of events. 

Aponar: (Jedah) Hee hee hee, snort man, shorty here thinks he can take me?
        Oh wait, I'm not supposed to be amused...

> "Fool. To think that I
> would allow myself to be enslaved to a
> mere human. 

Signus: (as Jedah) For one thing, you didn't bring any whip. No proper
        Master would be without a w--*THWAP!* OW!! 
Mark: [brandishing Signus' arnis stick] Skrib no hentai. 
Signus: [grumbles] You don't let me have any fun... 
Mark: ^_^ It's my job description... Incidentally, the Philippines have a
      weapon that can defeat any evil being of supernatural origin called
      "Buntot ng Pagè" in Tagalog, or "I-ikog sa Pagè" in Visayan. 
Madsman: [consulting Lexicon] A... "Tail of a Manta Ray?" 
Signus: [nods] Made famous by the Belmonts... Yes, it's a WHIP. 
[Everyone except Signus and Mark facefaults.]

> But since you have made

Mark: (Jedah) ...my bed and fluffed my pillows...

> the long journey to my spirit room, I
> will allow you to rest... within me."

Madsman: ARGGHHH!! NOOO! NOT A HENTAI SCENE! 
Ranma X: What the hell is with this sub-duded homo-eroticism!?
Mark: I thought W4 doesn't do lemons?
Madsman: NOT THE gasp... 'Y' WORD!!! NOOOOO!!!
Signus: Got Jello? ^_^

> Jedah stood tall and smiled
> darkly, trying to mask the injuries
> from which he was still recovering. 

Mark: Sticking corks in them wasn't working too well.

> He carefully examined his opponent. He
> was one meter shorter than Jedah,
> though his muscular build would be
> intimidating even to a sasquatch. This
> human's eyes were pitch black, save two
> dots in the center that served as
> pupils. 

NeoVid: ...Uh, if his eyes were solid black, but not the pupils, what the
        hell were his pupils colored?
Madsman: A delicate amber, what else!?

> He effortlessly hovered over
> the organic floor, but Jedah's power
> and wings allowed him the same luxury.
> The main concern that Jedah had about
> this human upstart was how he was able
> to channel that dark energy... and so
> much of it.
> Several mintues passed as Jedah
> and Bison hovered in place, 

Aponar: Since they had been bored to sleep...
Signus: Like the rest of us...

> eyes locked
> on their opponent, as if waiting and
> daring their opponenet to make the
> first move.

Signus: (Jedah) I dare you to stick your tongue on that frozen flagpole!
Madsman: (Bison) Well, I double-dare you!
Signus: (Jedah) I double-dog-dare you!
Madsman: (Bison) Curses! slurp Mah thung!  Mah thung ith thuck!

> Jedah pulled his right hand out of
> his pocket and pulled it behind his
> torso. He smirked as Bison disappeared
> in a blur. The foolish human fell for
> his feint. Bison materialized in 

NeoVid: ...A meatgrinder. The end.

> front
> of him at the same time Jedah executed
> his Nero Fatica 

All: FATICA! FATICA!

> attack. Bison sat
> trapped in a sphere of blood as Jedah
> mercilessly jabbed and punched the
> trapped figure. As Jedah formed a
> scythe 

NeoVid: (Jedah) Now I will prove I AM the MultiMediocreKnight!

> with his wings, the sphere
> exploded, forcing Jedah back. Bison
> wiped some blood from his face with his
> left fist while Jedah restored his
> wings.

Mark: (Jedah) Thank Satan for duct tape!

> Jedah chuckled. "Passable. You
> have some skill," he nonchalantly
> remarked.

Signus: (Jedah) But, then again, so does Dan Hibiki.

> "I could say the same of you, were
> you not some third-rate demon," Bison
> countered.
> Again Jedah and Bison stood still,
> expectantly awaiting the other's

Aponar: ...declaration of love.
NeoVid: (wussy Bison) I've always loved you, Jedah! Take me now!
Ranma X: [whaps both]

> attack. After a minute, Jedah slammed
> the palm of his right hand to the
> ground.

Signus: There! got that damned ant!

> A pool of blood formed below
> Bison and formed hands to pull him
> under, but Bison hovered upwards and
> launched himself at the now-vulnerable
> Jedah. He stomped on Jedah's back and
> soumersaulted 

Madsman: The Soumersault: Created by the legendary wrestler Adrian Soumer!

> away from him. Jedah
> quickly picked himself up, but not fast
> enough to avoid the ball of Psycho Energy
> that Bison had launched at him.

All: [signing] Psycho-therapy, Psychotherapy!

> Still
> reeling from the projectile attack,
> Jedah was wide open to Bison's scissor

Mark: He forgot that rock beats scissors.

> kick. Jedah staggered backwards as
> Bison advanced towards him.
> "Are you ready to surrender?"
> Bison asked tauntingly.
> "NEVER!" 

Ranma X: (Jedah) ...On second thought, YES! Right now before I get hurt!

> Jedah shouted as his
> clawed hand raked against Bison's face,
> propelled by streams of blood. Bison
> merely smiled at the attack, but the 
> pause granted Jedah the time to propel
> himself with blood up and away from 
> Bison. In midair, he launched a Dio
> Sehga 

NeoVid: Dio Sehga: exclusively in the Dreamcast version of JoJo's Bizarre
        Adventure!

> at Bison. Bison, expecting a
> ground projectile attack, leapt up and
> was caught by surprise as the saw blade

Ranma X: ...started singing showtunes.

> held its position in the air,
> delivering gashes to Bison's armor and
> chest. 

Aponar: Thanks to Federal Express!

> He crashed into the ground and
> heard Jedah cackling. 

NeoVid: (Jedah) Ah ha ha ha ha! I'll get you, my pretty, and your little
        Shadowloo too!

> He looked up and
> saw Jedah's wings flapping. Instantly,
> Jedah fell to a swoop towards Bison,
> but he was ready. Bison unleased a
> Psycho punch that interrupted Jedah's
> Ira Spinta and sent the demon nobleman
> back. The first Psycho punch was
> followed by countless others, and Jedah
> was forced to use his wings to block
> the barrage of blows.
> Bison was so preoccupied with
> pummeling Jedah that he was completely
> taken by surprise when Jedah cut off
> his own head 

Madsman: Instead of doing something SMART and cutting off Bison's...

> and smashed it against
> his. 

Ranma X: I'm a bit dubious. Since when is decapitation a form of attacking
         someone?
Madsman: Don't complain. I would've liked to do that to him too.

> The time it took Bison to tear
> off the decapitated head was just
> enough for Jedah to regenerate himself.
> Both fighters panted, both caked with
> blood.

NeoVid: Mmmm... blood cake...
Signus: ... comes in coagulated and extra-coagulated!

> "You can't keep this up much
> longer, Jedah," Bison explained. "I 
> know about your defeat at Felicia's
> hands, 

NeoVid: I can think of more worthwhile things that could happen to a guy
        at Felicia's hands...

> and how I woke you from your
> nap."
> Jedah sneered. "It seems you know
> much about what does not concern you,"
> he snarled.
> Bison laughed, then replied, "But
> this DOES concern me. You and your
> spirit world are mine now."

Mark Poa: (Bison) Finders keepers! Losers weepers!
Madsman: (Jedah) But I just put the security deposit down!

> Jedah scowled. He didn't know
> what this arrogant mortal was scheming,
> but he was right. Jedah's stamina was
> depleted, and he would lose the fight

All: [singing] It's the Eye of the Tiger! It's the thrill of the fight!
NeoVid: How did I know that song all of a sudden?

> if he couldn't end it quickly. In
> desperation, he slashed his left wrist,
> causing blood to flow towards Bison.

[All start laughing.]
Aponar: What the?
Mark: (Jedah) You're dead! Just wait until I sever my jugular! ... Wait a minute...

> The blood formed a hand and grabbed
> Bison. Jedah watched in satisfaction;
> the Prova di Servo would easily make
> short work of the fool.

NeoVid: And if that didn't work, he could bring out... the TOM SERVO!
All: [gasp]

> At least, it would have, had the
> hand not frozen in place. Bison smiled
> as the blood hand, which should have
> been slamming him around mercilessly,
> turned into a stream that circled
> Bison.
> "You have been good for a laugh,
> Jedah. 

NeoVid: (Jedah) You too, Bison! Let's do this again sometime!

> But now, it's time to end
> this," Bison announced.
> Jedah cursed in a language long
> forgotten by humans and took to the
> sky. He summoned multiple Dio Sehgas,
> counting on Bison to impale himself in 
> the makeshift minefield of saw blades.
> Bison summoned a small, cyan sphere
> which slowly floated towards the saw
> blades. The cyan sphere erupted in a 
> grand explosion which sent Jedah and
> the saw blades flying. Before Jedah
> could hit the ground, Bison shouted,

Aponar: (Bison) STELLA!
Madsman: (Bison) MOMMY!
Mark: (Bison) LINA!
NeoVid: (Bison) HOW'D I DO THAT?!?!?!
Ranma X: (Bison) I HOPE I DON'T GET... HUUUUUURT!
Signus: (Bison) NEVER CALL ME 'MARGARET!'

> "Psycho Crusher!" 

Aponar: (Bison) Prepare for the attack where I break your ribs by hittng
        you with Charles Manson!

> and collided into
> Jedah as a flaming human 

NeoVid: More proof Bison's fruity.

> torpedo.
> Bison had pinned Jedah into a wall and
> grabbed the dark nobleman by the neck.
> "The game is now over," Bison
> spoke, "You and your spirit world are 
> mine to do with as I please."
> Jedah coughed up blood and
> sputtered, "...I... will not... serve 
> you."

NeoVid:(as Jedah) You....need to...take... a number...first.
Ranma X: (Jedah) Not... even one little sandwich...

> Bison threw Jedah down on his
> belly and planted his 

All: gag

> boot 

All: Whew.

> on Jedah's 
> spine. "I didn't ask for your
> opinion," Bison explained. "I'm telling

Madsman: (Bison) And when Mom finds out what you did, you're gonna get in
         trouble!

> you. I am Bison, and I am now your
> lord and master."
> Jedah cursed again.

Ranma X: Then Bison washed his mouth out with soap!

> Bison called to Ifurita. "Take
> this... bloody mess of a worthless dog
> back to Shadaloo headquarters," he
> ordered. Ifurita nodded, then 

Signus: ...Decided that if he was so worthless, she should save time and
        toss him in the dumpster.

> coarsely bound Jedah 

Signus: [sarcastic] As opposed to binding Jedah tightly and securely. Like
        he won't be escaping anytime soon. 

> and dragged him through the
> portal which she used to arrive.

NeoVid: I thought she came in a taxi!

> */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

Signus: [singing] Seven / little Eight / little Nine / little Injuns...
Mark: You know that joke's getting really lame. 
Signus: Okay, I'll stop now. 

> Two weeks had passed since Bison
> defeated Jedah, and Bison had all but
> completed the modifications to Jedah's
> spirit room.

Ranma X: The wallpaper wasn't dry yet, however.

> The power of the souls
> that Jedah harvested complemented his
> Psycho Power better than he had
> expected. And, as an added bonus, he
> had acquired Jedah as a servant,
> albiet a defiant and reluctant one.

Aponar: (Jedah) Your $#&%ing tea, you #^%damn $#!+head, sir.

> No matter; there would be plenty of
> time to break the dark nobleman's
> spirit. And what better ally against
> that accursed Kasumi could he ask for
> than one of the lords of the Dark
> World?

Mark: A messy lord of the dark world?

> Yes, Bison was, once again,

Aponar: Dressing up as a showgirl.

> pleased. But the positive feeling 
> quickly ebbed, and Bison contemplated
> the world he was destined to conquer.
> "I... must have more 

NeoVid: (wussy Bison) ...MORE PASTELS IN THE DECOR! WASN'T ANYONE
        LISTENING??

> power..." he muttered to himself.

Ranma X: (As Bison) Pill lady? Pill lady...
Mark: [To Ranma X] I didn't get that one. [Sweatdrops]

> */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*
> THE END

Ranma X: So the End gets it's own scene?!
Signus: At last. Let's get out of here.
All: [murmurs of agreement]

> */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*
> Author's Note: (C-Sharp)

Ranma X: [looks at the screen] It was a feint, guys. There's more.
All: Darn.
Mark: You know, somehow that note joke is funny the first time but
      gradually wears out over time. 
Ranma X: Hi! I'm Mr. B. Natural and-
Aponar: stop it.

> Howdy! This is just a first-draft
> quickfic to try to get my creative
> juices running.

NeoVid: There's another way to get your juices running...
Aponar: Usually when that happens the author write a lemon.
Madsman: Or when you do a Jedah impersonation and slice your wrist.
Signus: Actually...
[Everyone dogpiles on Signus before he can say anything else.]
Signus: ...MMMPH!!! >_< 
Mark: Let's not go there. 
[After a moment, they let go of Signus.]

> After reading Ultra 20, I thought I'd
> take a stab at why Bison 

Mark: (as W4) Take this Bison! *STAB**STAB* Yeah! Straight through the
      heart!
Madsman: (W4) Haha! That's got your creative juices and everything else
         running, hasn't it?

> is constantly
> gathering power, pawns, furniture...
> no, wait... that's another
> improfanfic... ^^;;; But at the same
> time, Bison's a jerk, and I didn't want
> to spend too much time on him. Fickle,
> ain't I? Perhaps some Bison fan out
> there might want to try a Bison
> monologue/soliloquy about why he's such
> a devil.
> So why Jedah? I just bought

Signus: The farm?
Madsman: Be nice... Woofer is our friend.
Signus: [darkly] Was, Madsman. WAS.

> Darkstalkers 3 for the Playstation, and
> he's my favorite character.
> Many thanks to all who have contributed
> to Ultra, inspiring me to get off my 
> fanny and 

NeoVid: [icily] go torture other authors?
Madsman: Ooh, that's cold, NeoVid.

> actually write something. No
> thanks to EditPad for giving me hassles
> about margins and word wraps. ^^;;

Mark: (as W4) No, no! I wan't them wrapped in pink Christmas paper! Get
      those plastic bags off!

> Please send c&c (but no flames) 

All: [sincerely] Darn...
Signus: Well, it's pretty hot as it is, another torch won't make any
        difference...

> to
> woofersan@home.com.

NeoVid: NOW can we go?
Aponar: [opens door] We're free!
Ranma X: We can never truly be free...
[Aponar hits him with a giant KoDoCha(tm) Mallet]
Aponar: Shut up. 
Madsman: Where's that yummy secretary at, I wonder...

*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

        Aponar Kestrel, Madsman, Mark Poa, NeoVid, Ranma X and Signus
Megido ambled out of the movie theater, mentally singed, but otherwise
triumphant.
        "Groan," Madsman groaned. "My head hurts."
        "You'll learn that never stops, newbie," NeoVid muttered.
        "I'm hungry...anyone want some okonomiyaki?"
        "You make okonomiyaki?" Signus asked as Ranma X pulled out a
spatula from thin air.
        "Yeah," Ranma X replied, hefting it thoughtfully. Aponar glanced
over at him just in time to see the Ukyou-class spatula come down on his
head and keep going.
        Splut. 
        Ranma X lifted up the spatula to reveal an okonomiyaki-shaped
Aponar Kestrel.
        "That hurt, you know," he said flatly.
        "No, thanks," Mark replied, looking at the Aponar-yaki. "I think I
lost my appetite."
        Signus sweatdropped. "..."
        The secretary observed them, scribbling on a clipboard. "Mmm
hmmm..." she murmured to herself.
        "MMMM HMMMM!" Aponar (who had reverted to his normal height) and
Ranma X repeated, ogling the secretary.
        Signus crossed his arms. "And what is 'Mmm hmmm' supposed to mean?"
        "Well," the secretary replied, "Since you're still alive and
coherent, the experiment was a wash. Dr. Kichigaisakka will be most
unhappy."
        "HE WAS TRYING TO KILL US?!?" Mark blurted out.
        The secretary calmly answered, "Well, not 'kill' per se, but he is
looking for bad writing potent enough to kill Akane Ten-"
        Signus throttled the secretary. "AKANE TENDO DOESN'T EXIST, YOU
BIMBO!" he hollered. "HAVEN'T YOU GOTTEN IT INTO YOUR HEAD?! THIS WHOLE
SHAM OF AN EXPERIMENT IS POINTLESS!!!" 
        NeoVid commented, "Well, in my home dimension..."
        Signus shot a dirty stare at NeoVid.
        "...right... I guess I'll save that for a while," NeoVid grumbled.
        "Make that a LONG while," Signus interjected. 
        Aponar and Ranma X pried Signus off of the secretary. "No point in
shooting the messenger, right?" Aponar stated as Ranma X. laughed
nervously.
        NeoVid shrugged. "Depends on how irritating the messenger is." 
        "Don't SAY that!" the secretary protested.
        At that point, a nearby wall slid down, exposing a television
monitor.
        "WE HAVE OMAKE SIGN AGAIN!" Madsman and Mark Poa shouted.
        "No, we don't!" Ranma X replied. "No way am I doing that again!"
        Dr. Kichigaisakka's face appeared on the television monitor.
        "WE HAVE WOOFER SIGN!" Madsman and Mark Poa wailed.
        Aponar, NeoVid, Ranma X and Signus facefaulted.
        "Sigh," Dr. Kichigaisakka stated. "It appears that story wasn't as
potent as I had hoped. I guess I'll have to dig up some old Ratcliffe
fics."
        Signus shrugged. "Well, Ratcliffe is OK." 
        Aponar blinked. "You mean Ratliff?"
        Dr. Kichigaisakka inclined his head thoughtfully. "No, but that's
a good idea too," he said, earning Aponar a series of whaps from the
others as Ranma X.
        NeoVid lost it and ran around screaming, "NO WAY!!  NOT
RATLIFF!!!"
        The now-familiar dragon aura surrounded Signus. "Doctor
Kichigaisakka..." He growled, in the draconic voice. 
        Everyone took a step back. 
        "...BRING IT ON! HA!" The possessed author avatar did a small jig
next to the monitor. "I'VE faced Marissa and lived! I'm related to Oscar!
Kefka takes lessons from me! You're nothing!" 
        Everyone facefaulted, save Dr. Kichigaisakka who was wildly
scribbling notes and muttering something about an unusual reaction.
        The aura faded away. "Er, did I say anything particularly
insulting to ol' Woofer here?" Signus asked, looking slightly confused. 
        Madsman, who recovered first, nodded slowly. 
        Signus turned to the monitor. "And that goes double for me, W4! I
think..."
        "Yeesh, Woofer," NeoVid said, regaining his composure.  "You'll
have to find something a lot worse if you want to fry someone's brain..."
        "Don't... say... that..." Ranma X said, "Damn you Woofer...and I
was even thinking of writing for Lungfish Alpha..." he sighed muttering
various obscenities in Basque.
        "Sasikume hori? Sasikume hauxe!" Aponar retorted in the same
tongue.
        Sounds of hammering rang out. The five looked back to see that Mark
Poa was checking out some IDFRLAU mecha at the back of the studio.
        Signus took out a bullhorn.  "HEY! WE WERE TRYING TO INSULT W4
HERE!" he shouted into the loudspeaker. The resulting soundwave knocked
Mark back.
        "Oh, yeah," Mark stated sheepishly. He walked towards W4's screen.
"Umm, well ... W4-san! You should be ashamed of yourself! I have half a
mind to rip that screen out and shove it up your nose!"
        The others sweatdropped. 
        "You don't insult people regularly don't you?" Signus asked.
        "Not much," Mark admitted, one hand rubbing the back of his head.
        Dr. Kichigaisakka chuckled. "Oh, don't be upset. After all, there
will be other experiments."
        Signus stuttered. "A-another...?" 
        "MORE BAD FANFICS?" Madsman blurted out.
        "I wonder when we'll get to Ranma X's CW chapter," Aponar muttered
a WEE bit too loudly.
        Ranma X whapped Aponar in the back of his (fortunately very hard)
head. "Wait, plebeian... I'm going to so hurt you with this," he said as
he pulled out the giant combat spatula again. 
        [Wham!]
        Signus grimaced. "Great." 
        Aponar gave a sharp twist to his umbrella, sending the spatula
flying into the monitor, which broke.  "Not twice, you don't," he said,
returning the umbrella to whence it came as Ranma X attempted to rescue
his spatula from the wreckage.
        "Oh... yay!!!!!!" NeoVid strained to say. "More... fics like
that... excuse me..." NeoVid ripped the Omake Sign out of the wall and
broke it over his own head.
        Another wall slid open. "You'd pay for that, too, but I have
insurance," the doctor said over the new monitor with an evil cheerfulness
that could only come from caffeinated sugar cubes.  "Oh, you needn't
worry. I don't have time to run these experiments regularly, so I've
arranged to have stand-in 'doctors' to inflict bad fiction upon not only
yourselves, but the Impro Community in general!"
        "...hoo boy. I see a lot of self-insertion lemons in my future,"
NeoVid grumbled, picking pieces of the sign out of his hair.
        Dr. Kichigaisakka bigsweated. "Well, maybe not THAT bad," he eked
out. "But at any rate, quake in fear. For when next we meet, I just may
have the most mind-melting, painful fanfiction of all time! Farewell,
proles!"
        Dr. Kichigaisakka then laughed maniacally, his figure disappearing
from the television monitor.
        ...and appearing before the six men as he pedaled a scooter away
from the Theater of Pain.
        "There goes a silly, silly man," Madsman commented.
        Ranma X. stopped, then shouted, "HEY! Let's get him!" 
        "EEP!" Dr. Kichigaisakka squeaked as he started pedaling like hell.
        Signus grabbed the nearest large object -- Aponar -- and threw him
at the Doctor, who swerved to the left just in time.  He then took out his
arnis sticks, and gave chase without skipping a beat.
        "Anybody want some Really Large Weaponry?" NeoVid asked
rhetorically, as he held up a gun that would be right at home with the
final boss in a shooter.
        "I got a spork!" Mark shouted, thrusting out the Spork of Doom
(which he picked up somewhere) from his pocket while still continuing the
chase.
        NeoVid looked at him strangely. "Oookay," he mumbled before
returning to the chase.

*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\*

Authors' Notes:

Aponar Kestrel
Well, that was fun and diverting. Not my usual cup of meat[1], but fun and
diverting. I'll have to write a moderately crappy omake to something just
so I can be the Mad instead, [bwa ha ha], although I expect they wouldn't
let me (even though I really deserve to after being locked me in a theater
for hours with *Ranma X*, of all people ^_-). Now I'm off to go
ruin^H^H^H^H sign up for another Impro, which will probably cause me to
fail my Government class... oh well. ^_^

Cheers, jeers, and souvenirs to aponar@orbitworld.net

"I got written completely out of character in ImproFicRoast and all I got
was this lousy tagline"

[1] Don't ask.

Madsman
[Editor's Note: Sadly, Madsman was too scarred by the fanfiction to give
 coherent post-MiSTing commentary.  All we could get out of him was,
 "NOT THE PSYCHO-CRUSHER!"

Mark Poa
Woohoo! First time I did an actual MST without talking to an audience of
one: myself. ^_^

This was a lot of fun and I really hope to join in other
MSTing/riffing/roasting/whatever they call this. Just not right within the
next few weeks for me to take care of school stuff. :P

Hope the readers like it! It's finger-lickin' good! ((1)KFC referecne. So
sue me, I'm not good with OCR's. ^_^) 

Recklessflyer@mechpilot.com is the addy. Email me! ^_^ (And this is my
shortest Author's Notes, too! :P) 

NeoVid
Definitely different from my standard style, but it was less work, so I
approve completely! I'm really getting to like non-standard riffing
styles. I didn't get my usual number of hentai riffs in, but it was still
loads of fun. And if you read this since you're a fan of my stuff, but
were pissed that it wasn't anything like what I normally do, I'm sorry it
wasn't your cup of pee[15].  Anyway, I'm still at neovid@hotmail.com.

[15]: Savage Dragon reference. Weird letters page that thing's got...

Ranma X
HahahahahA!! x_*! This was actually quite enjoyable. I always tried to do
solo MiSt, but never had the steam to finish them off(they eventually were
done by Megane 6.7, who has gotten WAAAY too wordy and malicious).  I hope
this expierience has produced a decent rivalry between myself and Aponar
and if not...well, I'm the one who came up with most of the disgusting
riffs and I got his name on them. ^_^
[And I'll get you for it, too -- Aponar]

I have a bad feeling my Girls with guns is going to suck...I hope my
Random chaos power goes up from now till then. 

Anyone wanna help me write a starter or two? ^_^

Comments, flames, and ranting about kumquats can be addressed at:
drstupid@geocities.com Ranma X.

"The day before Valentine's Day was the WORST day to have finished
watching Shoujo Kakumei Utena"

Signus Megido
-Hello. Biddaaa! Bye. ;p 
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(blinks twice) You're still here?!? Skip this notes, I've got nothing else
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(sighs) Persistent little... All right, all right... Thanks to W4, Mervyn,
and all the rest of the Indie Madnesse for getting me here, and to the
ImproFicRoast for putting up with my insanity.  Email me for anything (not
CASH, sorry) at maramala@hotmail.com (Hah, beat that, Mark! My author's
notes is shorter than yours! ^_^)

Enjoy. 


W4
-Holy mother of batwax. This turned out better than I had expected. These
six gentlemen did a great job dismantling a clunker of a fic. It is with
no small amount of pride and pleasure that I share the compliments and hog
the complaints. 8)

"The Dark, Bottomless Well" was the very first thing I ever wrote for the
Impro Community.  Ever. I'd like to think that I've improved since then.
^_^;;

Thanks go out to The Ballad of Shame And Wasted Lives for inspiration, as
well as Mervyn The Wonder Slug and Y2MMK for their support, advice, etc.

If you're reading this on some MiSTing archive, please check out the
following two sites:
-http://www.students.rhodes.edu/%7Eknoke/indie/indie.html
 Indie Madnesse, home of ImproFicRoast and several improvisational
 fanfictions
-http://www.improfanfic.com/
 Improfanfic, arguably the Penultimate improvisational fanfiction site.

As always, I'm eager to receive c&c. Send it to indiemadw4@home.com.

>      Or, to make a long story short:
> Megalomaniacal, power-hungry bastards,
> 4; Forces of "good", 0.