There are times when the ghost of a deceased human being returns from 
the grave. Usually this is because of said ghost having some unfinished 
business. And most of the time, barring an appearance by the 
Ghostdusters, fulfilling their unholy quest is the only thing that can 
ultimately get rid of them.

Note that this excludes Kim Kaphwan because HE'S NOT COMING BACK, 
okay!? You got that, people?! HE'S DEAD! DEAD AND NEVER COMING BACK!

Where was I? Oh, right. Well, in front of one of the largest headstones 
in the Shaky Jake Querious Cemetery, a blue, glowing spirit rose from 
the soil. This wasn't just the ghost of any mere mortal, but that of 
Kyo Kusanagi's fearsome predecessor.

That's right. It was The Ghost of Geese Howard.

BRACK-KA-CAW!!

...that, um, was supposed to be lightning.

Geese earlier refused to reenter the realm of the living, on account of 
being pantsless and all. But with the semi-recent demise of his 
Emergency Pants at the hands of Angel, he and his dress-like pants were 
finally reunited and he could do what he had been planning for ages.

Other than kick Terry Bogard's ass. He did that the other day.

But Geese didn't come alone. No, my friends. Geese Howard also brought 
something along with him. It was... A PIECE OF PAPER!

BRACK-KA-CAW!!

...that was the lightning again.

Nearby, two young boys watched Geese's return in fear.

"It's a ghost!" Ness said as he took a step back.

"Worst than that!" Bridget told him. "It's the ghost of Geese Howard!"

"Geese Howard?! The guy Terry Bogard killed?"

Geese immediately scowled at the boy. "Enough, child! I am better than 
Terry Bogard in every way! I am stronger than him! Smarter than him! 
And my moves are more powerful than his!"

Ness raised his hand. "Then mmmaybe he beat you because--"

"Because he has more moves than me?! No! Incorrect! Nobody in this 
universe has more attacks than the late Geese Howard. And I intend to 
prove it!" He straightened out his piece of paper and began to read it.

"Attack #1: Repukken.
Attack #2: COUNTERRRRRRRR!!
Attack #3: Double Repukken.
Attack #4: COUNTERRRRRRRR!!
Attack #5: Raging Storm, Level 1.
Attack #6: Raging Storm, Level 2.
Attack #7: Raging Storm, Level 3.
Attack #8: COUNTERRRRRRRR!!"

Geese continued to read his list, growling, "COUNTERRRRRRRR!!" every 
other line or so. He wandered away from the cemetery, leaving Ness and 
Bridget in a mixture of confusion and awe. Ness shook his head and 
snapped out of it.

"Well, anyway, that was nothing. Have you ever heard of Ickybod Clay?"

"Ickybod Clay? Who's that?"

Ness held a flashlight to his face. "They say he haunts the cemetery at 
night, hunting for victims. He ties them up, drags them away and then 
does some creepy stuff to them."

"Like-like what?"

"Nobody knows. They've never found of his victims alive."

Bridget seemed really scared. "Why would he do that?"

"Because he's a nut." He turned off the flashlight. "But it's okay. See, 
he can't catch you unless you've said his name. So don't say his name."

"Phew. Okay." After a brief pause, Bridget gasped. "But... we *did* say 
his name! Both of us!"

"M-maybe he didn't hear it!"

But he did, for Ickybod Clay rose from behind a tombstone and floated 
before the boys. He whispered low, "Hello there, kids..."

BRACK-KA-CAW!!

"AAAAAAAGGHHHH!!" Ness and Bridget screamed.

*beep beep beep beep beep*

"What the hell was THAT?!" Bridget yelled in fright.

"Lightning, I think!" Ness explained.

"No, I mean that beeping noise!"

Ickybod whispered, "That's my beeper... Hold on..." The ghoul inspected 
the message. "Hmm... Who do I know named Scarebro...?" His pumpkin head 
stared at Ness. "Tell me, boy... Where can I find a pay phone...?"

Ness pointed and shivered. "Um, down that way. About a block."

"Marvelous..." Ickybod Clay moved on.

Ness and Bridget sat there and let out a collective, "Phew!"

Then a bolt of lightning struck Bridget and killed him. Why? Because I 
fucking hate Bridget, that's why.

BRACK-KA-CAW!!

[---]

Forgot About Jae
Chapter 41: The Return of the Curse of the Geese's Ghost

Story carbonated by Shelby Scott, The Darkheart One, leader of the 
Magnificent Darkheart Seven

Chapter used to fulfill his political agenda by Gavin "Gavok" Jasper

[---]

Last time on Forgot About Jae:

- Jae and his Nameless Once-Everpresent Ex-Girlfriend have split up and 
Judge Joe "Satan of Foreplay" Higashi caught her off the rebound.

- Jae and his boss spent some quality time together.

- Eiji Kisaragi taught us the Property of Ninja Moves.

- Iron Chef Gourmand has shown up and it seems the special ingredient 
is fear.

[---]

Life was good for Gill. The Illuminati was getting stronger day by day 
and if things kept up, it would only be a matter of time before he 
could lead the sheep into salvation. Or whatever he was always going on 
about doing. Gill was weird.

"Sir, you have a package on your desk."

"Thank you, Kolin." Gill entered his office, tore off his entire 
three-piece-suit (sans the thong) in one tug and tossed his clothes 
into the trash. He inspected the package.

"NOTHING HARMFUL IN BOX"

"That's good to know." Gill opened it, not taking into consideration 
the fact that the message was written in crayon with several letters 
backwards. He opened the top and screamed. "NO!"

He collapsed to the floor, weak and powerless. The red and blue halves 
of his skin began to fade and turn paler.

Just then, the wall collapsed, revealing Gill's evil brother Urien, 
wearing a sign around his neck that said, "URIEN #1!"

"Goodbye!"

"Urien, what have you done...?"

"Ha. Ha. Now Gill most powerful. Me Urien take under Illuminati." He 
walked over to the box and pulled out a glowing purple rock. "Me now 
weaker than brother no thanks to rock called mediocrenite! Ha. Ha. Ha. 
Hello, brother. Urien always loved you."

[---]

Rikuo the merman stretched his arms out forward and queued a massive 
wave of water to engulf his enemy. His enemy was in the form of Baby 
Bonnie Hood, who had been trying to hunt him down ever since Rikuo was 
resurrected by the defunct Park World.

BB Hood was half conscious when the wave died down. Seeing Rikuo 
advance, she put up her hands. "Please! No more! I give up!"

Rikuo remained cautious.

"Seriously! I don't want to fight anymore!" BB Hood reached into her 
basket to retrieve something. Rikuo got ready to send another wave. 
"No! No, it's okay! It's just an apple!"

The fish raised his eyebrow.

"Just an apple, I swear! Just take my offering and we'll call it a draw, 
okay? Pleeeease?"

Rikuo took the apple from BB Hood's hand. As he prepared to bite into 
it, BB Hood ran off, shouting, "Sucker!"

That's when Rikuo noticed the lit fuse where the stem should have been. 
That's when he came into realization.

"IT'S A TRAP!"

*BOOM*

Far away, two ninjas looked on. Not just any ninjas, but ninjas... from 
the future! With gasmasks! They were two of the strongest members of the 
Jaguar ninja clan: Mezu and Gozu. For reference, Mezu was the blue one 
with water powers and Gozu was the red one with fire powers. This will 
be on the test.

"Did you see that?" Gozu asked in amazement.

"Yes, that little girl was more powerful than she seemed."

"More powerful than us?"

Mezu narrowed his eyes. "Of course not. Nobody can defeat the Jaguar 
ninjas."

"So when are we going to complete our mission?"

"Soon," Mezu said. "We have been slacking off for too long. My brother, 
we must destroy Kim Jae Hoon and soon."

"Do you know where he is?"

"No, I... Gozu?"

"Yes, Mezu?"

"I would like to ask you something."

Gozu nodded. "What is it?"

"When is the last time you have ever said anything that wasn't a 
question?"

"What are you talking about?"

[---]

"Who gots the emails? I gots the emails. Who gots the emails? I gots 
the emails."

Eiji tapped some keys and queued the next email.

"dear eiji,
you are so funny. how do you pay for computer?/

a-hole ronald, ny"

"Hey, does 'ny' happen to stand for 'not litera... wait, nevermind. 
Okay, so yeah, I got myself this sweet new computer. But my dear 
Ronaldo, I didn't use cash or a check on it. I used some new credit 
card... that I stole from Remy. Let me tell you, my friend. You should 
not leave home without it."

[---]

Ryo Sakazaki tried to buy a copy of Art of Fighting on DVD. "Can I 
wight a check?"

The annoyed cashier pointed to a sign saying that he couldn't. "Yo."

"Wyo," He corrected. Keep in mind he has that speech impediment.

"Yo."

"Wyo."

She called over her boss. "Yo!"

"Wyo!" He looked to the boss. "Can I wight a check?"

He pointed at the sign. "Yo!"

"Wyo! Why does evewyone get my name wwong?"

Ralf walked by. "Hey, Ryo."

"It's Yo! Get my name wight! Geez! How would you feel if I called you 
Jones?"

"That *is* my name."

"Yo!" Ryo insisted.

"Are you retarded or something?"

Meanwhile, another cashier looked at Ryuji Yamazaki's drivers license. 
"Hm. This doesn't look like you."

Ryuji, looking exactly like Goenitz, stared him down. "It did when I 
came in here."

[---]

"This ailment is not odd," Bonk: Caveman Psychiatrist explained. "I've 
had several other patients today who claim to have been plagued with 
bad dreams."

Brian Battler frowned. "Listen, buddy. I don't care about other people 
right now. This is my session, so let's talk about me."

"Very well, Mr. Battler. You are paying for this session, anyway."

"Yeah. You can pick up the check next week."

"What?"

"Just ask me about my childhood or something. Whatever you proctologists 
do."

"I'm a psychiatrist," Bonk reminded him. "Not a proctologist."

"Ever wonder why somebody would want to become a proctologist? Why did 
you choose to become one?"

"I am *not* a proctologist, Mr. Battler!"

"Denial isn't just a refusal to grant the truth of a statement or 
allegation. Wait, I said that wrong. I mean, a river in Ohio isn't just 
denial. Wait. No."

Bonk raised his voice. "Tell me about your childhood, Mr. Battler."

"About time. One of my earliest memories comes from when I was eight." 
He rubbed his chin.

[---]

A younger Brian Battler wandered home from school, or rather, from 
detention. With him was his then best friend Lucky Glauber, clutching 
his basketball and sucking on his thumb.

"Hey Brian!" the boy heard one of his school chums yell. It was an 
eight-year old Vice, waving at him.

"What do you want?" He walked in her direction.

"I was wondering if you want to play a game."

"What kind of game?" Brian asked.

"I'll hold this football here and you punt it."

Lucky took his thumb out of his mouth and stopped Brian. "I don't know, 
Brian Battler. This sounds fishy to me."

"You're just jealous that she didn't ask you." Young Brian turned away 
from Lucky and ran as Vice set up the football. But at the last second, 
right as Brian kicked, Vice pulled the ball away and smiled.

"Ha! What a chunkhead!" Vice listened for the ear-pleasing noise of 
Brian landing and maybe breaking a bone or two, but heard nothing. 
"What's the hold-up?"

"Look!" Lucky pointed up at the sky where Brian was spinning around 
like a torpedo, flying back and forth. As the two watched, it suddenly 
became apparent that he was going straight for Vice.

"Augh!" And Vice bolted.

[---]

"And that's how it all began."

"You mean how you first found your identity and true calling in life?"

"What? No, actually my point was that it was when Heavy D! first found 
his true calling. See, I completely missed Vice and landed on D!'s 
piano. Then he punched me out. But yeah, I guess that was when I 
learned about my amazing football abilities. Go with that."

Bonk scribbled down some notes. "I do find your story a little hard to 
swallow."

Brian continued. "And in my back yard I had Rugal Bernstein sitting on 
top a doghouse, pretending that he owned a submarine and--"

"That's enough, Mr. Battler. We're out of time. I have another session 
in a minute or so."

The beeper in Brian's pocket went off. He examined the message and 
nodded. "Okay. See you next week."

As he walked out, a jittery man passed him in a strange white and black 
outfit.

Dr. Bonk nodded. "Ah, Mr. Zappa. Right on time."

"GAH!"

"How has your last week been?"

Zappa grabbed at his hair and twitched. "I keep blacking out! ACK! I 
keep blacking out and then waking up and finding myself covered in 
blood! HELP ME DOC!"

"First, I think you need to calm down. Take ten deep breaths."

"Calm down?! ACK! CALM DOWN?!" Zappa twitched some more. "I can't calm 
down! I can't cope with this! Jesus Christ, dude! This is too much 
pressure! GAH!"

In an instant, he passed out. He woke up with his skin bluish and his 
eyes glowing. "Kill..."

Bonk lowered his eyebrows and wrote down a couple notes.

An otherworldly female voice came from Zappa's mouth. "What time is it, 
doctor?"

"Why, it's about 2:05 pm."

The voice from within Zappa contemplated. "I'm going to have to cut this 
session short, doctor." S-ko, the decaying spirit of a dead woman with 
black hair flowing over her face, rose from Zappa's body. "Come, Zappa. 
We shan't be late."

"Murder..." Zappa, doubled over backwards, followed S-ko out the door. 
Bonk only stroked his chin.

[---]

Clay9999 was happy. Things were finally working out for him. He found a 
place that sold full body armor for real cheap via the newspaper. And 
if anything could stay on Angel, a knight's armor would definitely do 
the trick. He even did some research, making sure that Magneto, Polaris 
and Mariah were out of town just in case.

"How's it fit?" he asked her.

"It's a little bulky, but I think I can walk with it."

"Great! Let's go."

Clay9999 paid the short, bearded man behind the counter and walked out 
with Angel. About five seconds after leaving Arthur's Armor and 
Accessories, a rogue wiffle ball floated over and tapped Angel's 
shoulder. This caused the entire suit of armor to fall off and 
dissipate into thin air, leaving Angel in a pair of white boxer shorts 
with little hearts on them.

"Wow, it got lighter," Angel said to herself.

Clay began to smolder in anger with smoke rising out of his ears.

"Honey, you have a little booger. Let me get that."

*tear*

Angel dabbed her boyfriend's nose with the boxers.

He smacked away her arm. "That's IT! I've had it!"

"You've had what?" 

"Enough!"

"Enough of what, Putty Buddy?"

Clay9999 pointed right at her. "Enough of *you*!"

"Me?"

"Yes, you! I'm sick of this! I don't need this! I've wasted a fortune 
in money and almost all of my sanity for you and I haven't changed 
shit!"

Angel gasped. "Clay, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying we're through! I want you out of my life! I don't want to 
see you again! We are BROKEN UP!"

"But--"

"GO!"

Angel looked down and sighed. With tears in her eyes, she shuffled away 
from Clay9999.

She was so distracted by heartbreak that she was completely oblivious 
to the massive car accident nearby.

[---]

Cervantes, Ruby Heart, Bonne Jenet and Johnny relaxed on their couch, 
watching the latest pirated movie.

"Arrr!" Cervantes growled, irritated. "This movie be called the Core 
but I've yet to be seeing an apple once! What a gyp it be!"

"Yeah," Jenet sighed. "If Ukyo Tachibana doesn't show up in five 
minutes, I'm gone."

Rolling her eye, Ruby reminded them, "This is almost as bad as that 
movie we watched last week."

"Yo, what movie, bitch?" Johnny the pirate/pimp asked.

"Some tape Jenet found. It was some weird black and white video with 
all this creepy nightmarish imagery. Then some jackass called us up and 
said we were going to die in seven days."

Cervantes asked, "What did ye do?"

"Told her to take us off the list. I hate those people."

Just then the screen turned to snow, alarming the four pirates for a 
second.

Johnny got up to fix it. "Damn, mothafucka! What's this shit?"

On Johnny's way to hit the television, Zappa's arm reached out of the 
screen. Johnny jumped back and hid behind the couch.

"You will all die..." S-ko said through Zappa's body.

*beep beep beep beep beep*

"Hold on." S-ko popped out of Zappa's body and checked her beeper. 
"It's about time he called." She looked at the Bootleg Buccaneers. 
"Sorry about this, but we have to go. Sorry."

Zappa jumped back into the television, leaving four confused, but very 
alive pirates.

Johnny exhaled. "That was a close one."

Officer Kurtis Stryker kicked down their door with Edi E behind him. 
"Johnny the Pirate, you are under arrest."

"What the fuck for?"

Edi E forced him against the wall and cuffed his arms. "Underage 
prostitution. We got pictures or your Mayship, you sicko. We know what 
you've been doing."

"You're making a big mistake!"

Stryker hit him with a baton. "No, you're the one who made the mistake. 
One of the girls you were pimping is only three years old, you son of a 
bitch!"

"But she ain't human! That's like... legal age in Gear years!"

[---]

"Kyo?"

"Yes, Yuki?"

"Just thought you should know that the sales of Kusanagi Beepers have 
been going through the roof in the past few days."

"Thanks, babe. Keep me posted."

[---]

Battler Man stormed through the hospital lobby, looking for Battler 
Girl. Seeing her, he walked her way, explaining, "I got here as fast as 
I could."

"Except for the part where you stopped for donuts," she said dryly, 
while pointing at the powder on his gloves.

"Except for the part where I stopped for donuts. So what happened this 
time? Did Bash toss Bao Wonder full speed into a wall again?"

"No, this isn't about Bao Wonder. Someone's asked your help. He's in 
the room over there."

Battler Man followed her directions and found a hospital bed with Gill 
lying in it. There was a feeling of tension in the room.

"Oh. It's you."

"Hello, Battler Man," Gill groaned.

"What do you want, Mr. Powerful and Invincible?"

In the next bed over, an injured man woke up. "Huh?"

Battler glanced at his chart. 

CARL POWERFUL-AND-INVINCIBLE

"Sorry to wake you." He turned his attention to Gill. "What's with the 
fake injury, Gill? Trying to get worker's comp?"

"No, it was my brother. My evil brother Urien."

Battler Man was confused. "Evil? What the hell are you then?"

"I'm not evil, just... misunderstood and narcissistic. You know, like 
Krauser was. Anyway, my brother put me in here with my one weakness: an 
element called mediocrenite."

Battler Man wrote this down. "Okay. Where can I purchase this and how 
much does it cost?"

"No, you don't understand. Mediocrenite doesn't work on Urien. Only me."

Battler Man stared at him for a long moment. "Okay. And where can I buy 
it again?"

Battler Girl walked in with Bao Wonder in her arms. 

"Heh," Battler Man chuckled. "Injured. Did I call it or what? So what 
happened this time?"

"Some wreckage from a huge car accident smacked him upside the head."

"Let me guess: Mai Shiranui."

"Nope. Angel."

"Ah."

Bao gave a weary smile. "I saw boobies."

[---]

The Ghostdusters returned to headquarters, physically and mentally 
exhausted.

"Glad that's over," Yuna said.

Angrily Luigi shook his finger at her. "I told you-ah that the ghosts-ah 
wouldn't move-ah if you looked right at them! You could have saved us 
the trouble-ah! Aye-aye-aye!"

"I said I was sorry!"

Miku sighed. "Let it go, Luigi. It's been a rough week." 

"Yeah," Yuna agreed. "I'm still aching from our battle against Phantoon 
on that ghost ship the other day." She sat down and allowed her muscles 
to relax. "Business has been booming, I guess, but it's spreading us 
thin."

"You're-ah right. We need-ah to hire a fourth member."

Miku sat down as well and cracked her back. "I don't know, guys. We're 
doing better, that's true, but we're not exactly millionaires. I don't 
know if hiring a fourth partner could pay off in the end."

Luigi and Yuna thought about this.

*SMASH*

A burly foot kicked the door open. A large man stared at the trio and 
growled. "I wanna work for you guys! GOT ME!?"

Miku sized him up. "Okay. How much are you willing to work for?"

"Pro-bono!"

"Pull up a seat, then," Miku smiled.

[---]

Jackson Briggs, the Scarebro, pounded his straw fist into his podium. A 
podium... OF FEAR!

"Let the first meeting of the Nightmare Committee come to order. I have 
gathered the best in the best when it comes to causing hysteria in the 
souls of the innocents. And shit like that. For instance, the 
unpredictable Zappa!"

"GAH! Seriously, man! I don't know what I'm doing here! This is 
definitely too much pressure! ACK!"

S-ko appeared and tapped Zappa in the temple.

"Destroy..."

Scarebro smiled. "Much better. Introducing the man who strikes fear into 
the hearts of the board of health: Gourmand."

"Heh heh heh. Gourmand."

"And finally, the legendary and sinister ghoul, Ickybod Cl... er, you 
know his name."

The pumpkin-headed Ickybod smiled and floated. "Charmed..."

"As you know, we've been trying to track down the elemental spirits. 
Dao has been caught a while back so we're only out to get Efrite, Sylph 
and Marid. Being the leader, I figured we'd just, you know, go after 
Efrite first. Gourmand and I have already succeeded in giving Kim Jae 
Hoon, its keeper, a little fright. But I think it's time we got to the 
main course. Zappa, what have you got for us?"

S-ko tilted her hair-obscured head. "We delivered a special tape to 
where Jae works. Once he watches it, we will be able to kill him in 
exactly seven days."

Scarebro shrugged. "Sounds funky, but if it works, it works. Did you 
deliver the tape all right?"

"Yes. At least... I think it was the right tape."

[---]

Fuuma looked through the mail. "Huh. A video for Jae. He won't mind if 
I watch it."

Fuuma slipped the tape in.

"Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the 
killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and become insanely jealous. Then 
I'd lose 40 pounds... PORKIN' his wife!"

"All right!" Fuuma beamed. "I love this movie!"

[---]

S-ko thought to herself. "We'll be right back."

[---]

A little dog sat on the sidewalk, scratching behind its ear. It looked 
up and growled at the evil emanating from Geese Howard's ghost. Geese 
just frowned at it and pulled out his list.

"Attack #231: Low sweep.
Attack #232: COUNTERRRRRRRR!!
Attack #233: Jumping palm strike.
Attack #233: COUNTERRRRRRRR!!
Attack #234: COUNTERRRRRRRR!!"

The dog, now uninterested, scampered off. Geese was going to continue, 
when he noticed a plaque where the dog was sitting. It was *his* plaque.

--------------------------------
GEESE HOWARD FELL AND DIED HERE.
    WE MEAN IT THIS TIME.       
--------------------------------

He looked upward and noticed it was Geese Tower. His tower. That's when 
the memories came rushing back.

[---]

In the dark, cloudy night, Geese Howard stood upon the roof of his 
tower, laughing into the sky. Sensing Terry Bogard behind him, he kept 
smiling.

"I'm going to stop you, Geese!"

"You're too late, Bogard. The scrolls are mine. In only a matter of 
time, I will be more powerful than you can ever imagine. It is curtains 
for you."

Terry just blankly stared at him. "...what?"

"We will have a duel!"

"...what?"

Geese lifted his hands into the air. "RAGING STORM!"

"...what?"

[---]

(SCENE MISSING)

[---]

Geese found himself falling to his death. Hoping that his Emergency 
Pants would save him, he found out that Billy replaced them at the last 
minute.

"FUCK YOU, BILLY KANE!!"

*thud* 

[---]

"Curses! I'm in Hell! How unfortunate for me!"

[---]

Okay, the flashback is really over now.

Geese looked at the new sign on his building and fumed. Months ago, upon 
meeting Krauser in the afterlife, Geese was shocked to hear who was 
running it. He figured somebody was going to try taking over South Town 
in his absence, but he expected it to be someone like Kain Heinlein, 
Mr. Big or Rugal Bernstein.

"Kusanagi. Hmph."

The reasoning for Geese's return was finally realized. He needed to set 
things right.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. 
Attack #235: Jaie Ken.
Attack #236: COUNTERRRRRRRR!!"

[---]

"Hey Eiji,

I think you're totally sweet and all, so I have to ask why you weren't 
in Capcom vs. SNK 2? I was really disappointed by this.

Mr. Blank, NH"

"Well said, Blank. You are not the first to ask this question. Many 
wonder why I, the great and awesome Eiji Kisaragi, have not appeared in 
Capcom vs. SNK 2. Well, it is time I told you all. The truth is... um... 
I was sick. With the chickenpox. Yeah, that'll do."

Getting nervous, Eiji stood up and ran out of the room. Once he was 
long gone, Remy walked in and sat down at the computer.

"Want to know the real truth?" he typed. "I'll tell you why Eiji wasn't 
in Capcom vs. SNK 2. He was busy with his other job. You see..."

[---]

"Okay, Eiji. Time for you to go to work."

Eiji entered a recording booth. "All right! Are we rolling?"

"You're good to go."

Eiji stood close to a microphone. "ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?!"

"Good," the voice told him. "Keep it going."

"GREAT! I KNEW THAT GROOVE WAS IN YOUR HEART!"

"Beautiful. Next line."

"I KNOW THAT YOU'LL... BE... BACK...!"

"Great! Let's break for lunch."

[---]

Jae sat on a sidewalk bench, depressed and with a wicked hangover. He 
wondered about whether or not he was cursed or not. It seemed that 
everybody he held dear left him in some painful fashion. His father 
died, Choi died, Rock grew to hate him, Dong Hwan was on his way to 
self-destruction, and to top it all off, he had just broken up with 
Nameless Formerly-Everpresent Ex-Girlfriend. He felt alone.

At least Chang was still around. And he found out that some of the 
people he worked with weren't so bad. He and Poison had yet to see 
eye-to-eye, but he considered Fuuma, The Driver, Hugo and Cracker Jack 
to be his friends. That in itself was comforting.

He sat and thought to himself about his brother. The idea of Dong 
becoming a villain scared Jae plenty and he wasn't sure how to combat 
it. Dong always saw Jae as a pest when it came to orders. If he insisted 
that he leave Doom, it may have made things worse. He contemplated 
asking Father Elias for help.

But he had more problems. High above him were the Jaguar ninjas, Mezu 
and Gozu. They drew out their "We're not Baraka!" arm blades and stared 
down, ready to strike.

"Is that him, brother?" Gozu asked.

"Yes. That is Kim Jae Hoon. That is our prey."

"Are we going to kill him now?"

"That's the plan." Mezu looked over to Gozu. "And stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Stop asking questions!"

"What questions?"

"I swear to Jyazu that I will tear your--"

"Hey, is that girl naked?"

"Pardon?"

As Jae pondered to himself on the bench, he heard a female voice ask, 
"Mind if I sit here?"

"No, not at all."

Angel took a seat next to our hero. "Are you all right? You look sad."

Jae sighed. "I'm having a bad week, that's all."

She sighed as well. "I know how you feel. This is the worst day of my 
life."

Jae turned to her. "Why, what happened?"

Angel looked down. "My boyfriend dumped me. Now I have nothing. No home, 
no money and no food."

"That is pretty rough. So in other words all you have are the clothes on 
your back."

"Um... What's your name?"

"Kim Jae Hoon." He was still looking her in the eye.

"Jae, you should probably look down a little."

"Okay. Hey, you're nude!"

"How did you not notice that?" she asked. "Why do you think that guy 
over there on the bike rode head-first into that light post?"

Jae smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Honestly, I was distracted by your eyes. 
They're beautiful."

"Wow," Angel said, amazed. "I don't remember the last time a man has 
talked to me about my eyes like that."

[---]

Back in 2001...

"Hey, Angel?" Clay9999 asked.

"Yes, Clay?"

"You got an eye booger. It disgusts me. Get rid of it."

"Okay."

Maxima walked by. "Damn that's a nice ass!"

[---]

"Anyway, my name is Angel. Nice to meet you, Jae." She held out her 
hand.

Jae shook it. "I've heard your name brought up a lot. You know, you do 
look familiar. Have we met before?"

"I was about to ask the same thing."

Jae thought for a second. His eyes widened and he jumped off the bench. 
"I remember now! You're that girl who tried to kill me! You and that 
evil guy with the melted face!"

"Ohhhh, right. You're the Tae Kwon Do guy."

Jae bounced into his fighting stance. "Enough with the lies. I know you 
have the other guy hiding in the background. I'll take you both on if I 
have to."

Angel remained sitting. "Jae, I'm not out to get you. Me and Clay are 
through now. I don't want to fight."

Jae turned away. "I don't believe you. Just stay out of my sight."

As Jae left, Angel pouted. Then she felt a couple drops of rain on her 
back and shoulders. "Just great."

Jae turned his head and saw Angel slouched over, with her face buried 
in her hands. Either she was a great actress or she was really hurt.

A miniature version of Jae appeared on his right shoulder, dressed in a 
white robe with a halo over his head. "Jae, what is wrong with you? 
You're starting to lose touch with what your father taught you. He 
would never behave like that."

Jae turned to his left shoulder. Another miniature Jae appeared, also 
dressed in a white robe with a halo. "I agree. Besides, she's pretty 
cute. And naked."

Jae lifted an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be dressed as a...?"

"When you were six your dad reformed me."

"Oh."

Quietly sobbing to herself, Angel heard something land next to her on 
the bench. Wiping the tears and rain from her face, she saw the shirt 
and flap thing from Jae's dobok.

"What's this?"

"Put that on," Jae told her while retying his belt over his baggy pants. 
"Listen, I'm sorry I snapped at you a second ago. Like I said, I've 
been having a bad week."

Angel pulled the shirt over her head and stood up. "It's okay. I guess I 
deserved it." The flaps on the dobok worked as a side-less skirt for 
her. The two just stood there, not knowing what to say.

"Angel... Since it's raining and all and you don't have a place to stay, 
why don't you crash at my apartment?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Oh, thank you Jae!" She ran over and hugged him.

Being crushed, Jae grunted, "It's okay." Once she let go, he continued. 
"I just want you to promise you won't try to kill me."

"Seriously, I have no need to. I promise."

"Great. Let's go."

The two walked down the sidewalk, side to side. Angel then realized, 
"What about that girl who dresses like you? Shouldn't you run this by 
her first?"

"Her... well, we just broke up the other day."

"Oh. I guess that explains the bad week."

Jae looked down. "There's other stuff, but it's mostly that. I just... 
I just lost the ability to trust her, you know?"

Angel put her arm around Jae. "Oh, don't worry. I bet she's regretting 
her decision as we speak."

[---]

Joe "Out of Sight" Higashi relaxed in bed. "Wow. Eight hours. That 
almost beats my previous record."

"We'll work on that later," the nameless woman in his bed giggled.

Joe sat up. "Indeed we will. Have you seen my shorts?"

"Oh, do you have to go now?"

"I told you, baby. I have work. I'm the judge."

"Can I come with you and hide inside your robe?"

"I don't see why not."

[---]

"Gozu, wake up!"

"Ugh, what happened?"

"You blacked out."

Gozu squinted his eyes. "How long was I out?"

"About five minutes. That woman and Kim Jae Hoon walked off together. 
Jae Hoon gave her his shirt."

"So you're saying he's bare-chested?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

Gozu pointed. "Is that him down there?"

Jose "Pepe" Rodriguez, wielder of the Green Dragon, wandered through 
the rain with his hands in his pockets. He had plenty of time before 
his date with Pupa so he took it easy. The cold chill in the air didn't 
really seem to bother him.

Mezu and Gozu hopped down in front of him.

"What's with you guys?" Pepe wondered.

A long blade appeared out of Gozu's right arm. "Do you want a quick 
death or a slow death, Jae Hoon?"

"Jae Hoon? This is a mistake, my name is--"

"Are you calling me a liar?!"

The blades came out of Mezu's arms as well. "Let's get him! Jaguar 
ninjas attack!"

[---]

The entrance opened and Megaman raced through. Once inside, he saw the 
bulky piece of evil machinery known only as Doc Robot. Doc only stood 
there, completely inactive and lifeless.

Megaman looked upward and saw the ghost of Woodman floating down into 
Doc Robot. But at the last second, Geese Howard shoved Woodman out of 
the way and stepped inside the smiling robot shell.

Doc Robot opened his eyes and looked at Megaman. Reaching into his back 
pocket, he pulled out Geese's list. Sorry, but I have no idea why the 
hell it was there in the first place.

"Attack #674: Hishonichirinzan.
Attack #675: COUNTERRRRRRR!!
Attack #676: Rushoumon.
Attack #677: COUNTERRRRRRR!!"

Confused, Megaman just charged up his arm cannon and blew Doc Robot to 
smithereens. Geese Howard's ghost wandered off, reading the list without 
missing a beat.

"Attack #678: COUNTERRRRRR!!"

[---]

CODY!
Seeeeeeeeeeecrets.

"One time when fighting Birdie, we tried punching each other at the 
same time and we ended up tying our chains together. Taking a leak that 
day wasn't pleasant. But hey, still beats fighting Sagat."

Seeeeeeeeeeecrets.

"I'll tell you why I got arrested. You know those tags on mattresses 
that you're not supposed to remove? Well all I did was tear one off... 
and used it to chloroform Mike Haggar and steal his wallet. What a 
stupid law."

Seeeeeeeeeeecrets.

"Eating a freshly cooked chicken out of a oil drum? Nothing wrong with 
that. Using a dirty condom you find in a garbage can? Never again, man. 
Never again."

Seeeeeeeeeeecrets.

"I'm sure you've noticed, but Maki dresses a lot like Mai Shiranui. The 
main difference is that Mai wears a thong while Maki's underwear covers 
up a little more. The reason is because one night she got really drunk 
and now she has a tattoo that says 'I love Jack Turner' on her left 
butt cheek."

Seeeeeeeeeeecrets.

"Back in Metro City I suggested that Guy become a superhero. He could 
call himself Guy Guy. His angry silence is something I'll never forget."

CODY!
Seeeeeeeeeeecrets.

[---]

"Now let the second meeting of the Nightmare Committee come to order. 
Zappa, have you made any progress with delivering that evil tape?"

"Yes," S-ko said. "But well, there were a couple mistakes."

[---]

Fuuma pressed play.

"DEAR LORD! BROCK LESNER HAS WON THE ROYAL RUMBLE!"

[---]

Fuuma pressed play.

"Ken Masters, do you take Eliza to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

[---]

Fuuma pressed play.

"Hello, I'm Luke Skywalker. Welcome to the Star Wars Christmas 
Special."

[---]

Fuuma pressed play.

"o/~ You woke up this morning! Got yourself a gun! o/~"

[---]

Fuuma pressed play.

"Hey, everybody! This is my first time hosting Saturday Night Live. I 
got a new movie coming out next week called Mortal Kombat: The Awesome 
Legend of Johnny Cage and I hope you all go see it."

[---]

"But finally," S-ko said, "we delivered the right tape."

"You mean this tape...?" Ickybod Clay said, holding up a VHS tape with 
"COPY" on the label.

"Dammit."

[---]

Fuuma pressed play.

"Oh, Trowa..."

"Oh, Quatre..."

"Wow," Fuuma exclaimed. "That's a lot of mail for one day."

[---]

Scarebro smacked his forehead. "Fine. Let's just come up with a new 
plan."

"You won't need any plans where you're going!" Yuna cried.

The members of the Nightmare Committee turned their heads to see Yuna, 
Luigi and Miku at the door.

"You-sah going down-ah!" Luigi claimed while pointing at them. 
"Especially you-ah, Ickybod Cl--"

"Don't say it!" Miku yelled.

"Don't say what-ah?"

"His name!"

"What, you mean-ah his name? Ickybod Clay?"

Yuna sighed. "Now you've done it."

Ickybod Clay floated towards Luigi, but at the last second, the plumber 
was shoved out of the way by the Ghostdusters' newest member. Ickybod 
looked up and saw a twitching eye residing in a skull-like hockey mask. 
Rick cracked his knuckles, picked up a two-by-four and went to work on 
his new special friend.

"You want to pick on people, you fucking ghost?! PICK ON THIS! Yeah! 
That's right! And here's one for your old man! GET SOME!"

Ickybod Clay screamed and begged for his life. A lot.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! OH GOD, I NEED THAT TO FLY! 
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, STOP HITTING ME!"

Scarebro blinked. "We should probably look out for that guy."

"Heh. Gourmand."

Rick had just finished smashing Ickybod Clay into a pile of purple and 
orange slime. Then he turned his back to the others, unzipped his pants 
and whizzed all over Ickybod's remains.

Miku gasped. "Was all of that completely necessary?"

He zipped himself up. "You have to defile a pumpkin headed ghost 
completely, or they come back to life. Everybody knows that."

Zappa narrowed his eyes. "Kill..." He swayed over to Rick. 

With veins extruding from his arms and his eyes bulging through The 
Tribal Mask of Killing the Fuck Out of Everything, Rick took deep 
breaths and stared at Zappa.

S-ko appeared from Zappa's body. Then a skeletal dog from Hell showed 
up at their side. Following that, a bloody ghost sword showed up and 
floated with its edge pointing at Rick. Then three poltergeists in 
straightjackets showed up.

"Hellooo..."

"Helloooooo..."

"Helloooooooooo!"

And finally, a large spirit reeking of blue flame appeared in front of 
Zappa and the rest. The whole lot of ghosts stared right at Rick.

"BRING IT ON!!"

Everyone else in the room took three full steps away.

A wall busted open with Battler Man's body flying through it, launched 
by the purple-skinned Urien.

"Ow. I thought you said you didn't want to fight."

"That wrong! Me no destroy you!"

"Huh?"

"Spit out this!" Urien fired a sphere of electricity at Battler Man. 
The hero dodged at the last second and tossed a Battlerang at his foe. 
It merely bounced off Urien's shoulder.

"Haha! That hurt much!"

"Dammit," Battler Man said to himself. "What's taking Moe so long?"

"Hey, do you guys mind?" Scarebro asked. "We're kinda in the middle of 
something."

"Those other guys don't seem to mind," Battler Man pointed out. "Look."

Despite his experience in fighting three opponents at once, Gourmand's 
hands were full with taking on Miku, Yuna and Luigi at the same time. 
Luigi stomped upon his head, leaving Yuna open to clobber him between 
the eyes with her staff. Gourmand fell flat on his back and lost 
consciousness.

Meanwhile, Rick held the body of Zappa against the wall and shoved his 
fist into the young man's midsection.

"ACK! What are you doing, man?!"

"Take it like a man! TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!"

Scarebro was bemused. He looked at Battler Man and said, "I'll be right 
back." He then walked over to Rick, tapped him on the shoulder and when 
he turned around, took him down with an uppercut.

"Oh, you want some huh? HUH!?" Rick reached for his two-by-four.

Elsewhere, Urien once again tossed Battler Man around like a rag doll. 
Battler Man had tried everything on the colossal Urien but nothing 
seemed to work. But he did notice something on Urien's back. He had 
these weird brown spots. They almost looked like...

"Rust from the rain. That's it!" Battler Man reached into his belt, 
pulled out a bear trap and tossed it at Urien. It attached to his leg, 
but didn't do any real damage.

"Ha. What is this not?"

On cue, Rikuo stepped out of a closet and exclaimed, "IT'S A TRAP!"

Battler Man pulled out some money. "Hey, fish man. Twenty bucks if you 
do that water move thing to Urien."

"Deal!" Rikuo waved his arms forward and again, gallons of water 
appeared and drenched Urien. Urien advanced in order to maim the duo, 
but he began to slow down. His iron body was covered in rust.

"Me can move! Me can move!"

Rikuo scratched his head. "Shouldn't it be 'I can't--"

"He's weird."

"Good enough for me." And with that, Rikuo escaped back into the closet.

The Scarebro stepped over Rick's beaten body in order to destroy the 
rest of the interlopers. But instead he was hypnotized by Yuna's 
swaying hips as she did her special dance that attracts both ghosts and 
straight men with working testicles. Right when Scarebro began to drool, 
Battler Man slugged him across the face, sending him ten feet back.

"Oh, trying to be cheap, huh?" Scarebro tore the pin out of a strange 
grenade and tossed it at Battler Man's feet. "Suck it in, fat boy!"

The grenade exploded into smoke. Battler Man coughed while trying to 
hold his cape over his face. "What *cough* is this? Tear gas?"

"No. It's fear gas!"

"Fear? Yeah, right. Like I'm actually afraid of any... any... anything."

In Battler Man's eyes, Scarebro began to change form. Instead of a large 
black man with straw arms, he became an attractive Japanese woman with 
pointy shoulder pads, black pants and a really long shirt. Battler Man 
screamed like a girl.

"NO! Get away from me!" He ran in the opposite direction, quickly 
heading into a brick wall.

Scarebro flexed his straw arms. "Now it's just me and the three of you 
losers. Who wants to be--"

Miku flashed her camera in Scarebro's face.

"My eyes!"

I forgot to mention this, but for the last few minutes, Luigi was by 
himself, building up his strength for an attack. With Scarebro blinded, 
he dove head first like a missile into Scarebro's stomach. The force 
knocked Scarebro into the air, through the wall and into the night sky. 
The Ghostdusters could have sworn that they saw him twinkle in the sky 
like a dying star.

"Glad that's over with," said Miku. "Those guys were like the Macarena 
of villain groups. Am I right?"

"Yes, you-ah right! Yuna, can you go heal-ah Rick?"

"Um... I'll wait until after we get the straightjacket on him."

Battler Girl ran into the room. "Battler Man! Sorry I'm late but I had 
a hard time finding a place to park the... I mean, I was jumped by 
ninjas!"

Battler Man looked up at his junior sidekick and shrieked. "Get away 
from me Chizuru Kagura! Get away, I say!" And then he took off 
screaming.

"Who's-ah Chizuru?" Luigi wondered.

Battler Girl scratched her head. "A woman he dated for like two weeks. 
I wonder why he's so scared."
 
[---]

"Yo Eiji,

I notice that your roommate Billy Kane is a huge hulking beast of a man. 
But I remember him as a normal-sized guy who could speak clearly. Am I 
missing something here?

Kanenite"

"You know, that's a pretty good question." Eiji called Billy over. 
Turning around, Billy Kane was already standing there. "Hey, Bill-- 
WHOA! There you are. Billy, what the hell happened to you? Back in '95 
you were no slouch, but you were pretty puny compared to now. What's the 
deal, man?"

"BILLY KAAAAAANE!! BILLY KAAAAAAANE!!"

"Yeah, I know that, man. What's the deal with the size?"

"BILLY KAAAAAANE!!"

"I can answer that," Lucky Luke Glauber said as he strolled into the 
room. "See, years ago I was in the NBA, under suspicion for steroid 
use..."

[---]

Lucky looked left to right, unscrewed the top to his fake basketball and 
smiled at the pile of steroid needles inside it. As he closed the lid, 
a bouquet of flowers flew by into the wall. Turning around, he saw Billy 
Kane.

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"You're Billy Kane, right?"

"That's me. I got a backstage pass so I figured I would visit my 
favorite basketball player ever."

Lucky smiled. "Hey, thanks!"

"Unfortunately, he wasn't here so I figured I'd see what you were up 
to."

"Oh. Well fuck you too. I'm not exactly happy with you and your team 
taking our spot back in '95. Fuck man, none of you guys were even 
American!" Lucky zipped up his duffle bag. "Sorry to hear about what 
happened to your boss. What was that, two years ago?"

"Two and a half. Man, I just wish I still had a crime boss to follow. 
Sure, I still got plenty of money from working with Geese, but I get so 
bored and--"

"Oh shit!" Lucky spied his team's coach doing a random drug search. If 
he found out about his basketball full of stuff, he would be kicked out 
of basketball in an instant. "Man, I got to hide this thing. Billy!"

"What?"

"Swallow this basketball! Quick!" He tried to jam it into Billy's mouth, 
but Billy just resisted.

"What the hell?! I'm not eating that!"

Lucky pulled the basketball away, pulled out a bottle of ketchup, 
poured it over the ball and showed it to Billy again. "How about now?"

"Go to it."

Lucky dunked the ball of drugs down Billy's throat and stepped back. 
"S'arright?"

"S'arright."

The coach walked by and looked at Lucky and Billy. "Lucky, who is this?"

"This is my friend Billy Kane. He has a backstage pass."

"Oh. Nice to meet you."

Billy burped in response.

"Lucky, I have to inspect your duffle bag."

"Hey, go ahead. I have nothing to hide."

As the coach sifted through the contents, Billy grabbed his stomach and 
vibrated. "Lucky, I don't feel so good."

Lucky took a step away. "Maybe you should sit down, man."

The coach zipped up the bag and nodded. "Everything looks clean. I'll 
see you later-- GOOD GOD, SON!" He looked up and saw Billy Kane 
transformed into a muscular monster about twice his regular size.

"URRRRRGGGGHHHAAAAAHHH!" Kane grabbed the coach by the neck and slammed 
him into the ground.

About five minutes later...

Lucky frowned as he exited the building. "I can't believe you got me 
fired. Ah well, I guess I better just pull a Balrog and turn to a life 
of crime. You in?"

[---]

"And that's what happened."

Eiji rubbed his eyes. "Huh? Sorry, I was sleeping. Who the hell are you 
anyway?"

A faint voice was heard.

"Do you hear that?" Lucky Luke asked. "I thought I just heard someone 
yell 'counter' really loud."

"Attack #1002: Thunder Break.
Attack #1003: COUNTERRRRRR!!
And last but not least, Attack #1004: Deadly Rave!"

Billy Kane turned around and his eyes almost popped out of his head. 
"YOU... YOU'RE GEESE!"

The ghost nodded somberly. "Billy, I've come back from the grave to 
deliver this one message."

"GRRRRR?!"

"Now that I am gone, only you are fit to rule this city. I demand that 
you destroy Kyo Kusanagi and take back what is rightfully yours. Be a 
leader for once in your life." Geese began to fade away. "That is all."

Billy looked down and groaned.

Geese popped back in and smacked him across the face. "And that's for 
replacing my pants and killing me, you nimrod!" Then he was gone for 
good.

Between Billy, Lucky and Eiji, there was silence. Then Ryou Szakakazi 
shuffled into the room.

"Duuuuhhh... ahh'm hiding a watermelon under my hat!"

Lucky glared at him. "Don't you talk to me."

[---]

Jae and Angel entered Jae's apartment. On the way, Angel explained to 
Jae the other members of the Mean Street Posse.

"So it's just the blue zombie, the man who attacked me and the witch 
musician?"

"Yeah. There was a basketball player and a big English guy but they left 
a while ago."

"Anyway, that's my room over there. You can sleep on the couch here."

The shirt - the only thing Angel was wearing at the time - passed Jae 
and rested on the couch.

Jae lazily obscured his view. "Angel, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to sleep. This is how I sleep. Why, is there a problem?"

"No, I guess not."

"Oh, I don't take it you have any spare toothbrushes, do you? You could 
probably guess, but I didn't bring one with me."

Jae pointed at a closet. "You can find one in there. Good night."

"Night." Angel opened up the closet and became buried in an avalanche of 
about 5 thousand toothbrushes. "That hurt a lot more than you'd think it 
would," she groaned.

Jae closed the door to his room, turned out the light and lay in his 
bed. The past events were certainly an odd ending to his day. He reached 
out to the other side of the bed to find... nothing. Again, he sighed 
out of loneliness.

BRACK-KA-CAW!!

Hey, there's that thunder and lightning again.

Angel cracked the door open. "Um, Jae? Are you still awake?"

"What is it?"

The opened the door a little more. "Can I sleep in here? With you?"

"Huh? I... I don't know. Angel, I think you're nice and all, but we just 
met and..."

"What? No, I don't mean in that way. It's just that the thunder gets to 
me. It's not like we'll be doing anything sexual or anything like that."

Jae pulled the covers open a little. "Okay, I guess that would be all 
right. Hop in."

Angel walked around the bed and slipped in. "Also, I have this problem 
where in the middle of the night I fall out of the bed. So I need you 
to wrap your arms around me."

"Excuse me?"

"And you have to be naked too."

"Angel, I..."

"And you should probably put one hand on my ass for leverage."

"Um..."

"And I should wrap one of my legs around your waist."

"......"

"But if you try any funny stuff, I swear I'll punch your lights out! Got 
me?"

[---]

The image of the events between Jae and Angel dissipated in front of 
Blackheart. It was times like that when he wished he had a mouth so he 
could smile. With good timing, Lord Raptor showed up before him.

"What can I do you for?" Raptor wondered.

"Your recent plan to get me the elemental is intriguing. It seems I have 
misjudged you and your 'Posse', as you call it."

"Excuse me, Blackheart, Blacky, Mr. Black, Mr. Heart, Captain Beefheart, 
whatever you want me to call you, but I have no idea what you're going 
on about. What plan are we talking about here?"

Blackheart paused. "The one where your harlot wins over Kim Jae Hoon and 
proceeds to assassinate him in order to gain me the fire elemental 
within him. That plan."

"Oh, heh, that wasn't a plan. No, Clay got angry and dumped her and 
well, you know how these things go. So she's shacking up with Jae Hoon? 
She works pretty quick. Hopefully not too quick. Heh. Know what I mean?"

"Are you telling me," Blackheart started, "that this woman, who knows 
almost everything about you... and details about me and my plans... is 
literally sleeping with the enemy? Is that what you are telling me, 
Lord Raptor?"

Raptor inserted his finger into his neck and pulled out the flesh like 
it was a collar. "No, it's... it's not like that at all! That's really 
Clay9999 in disguise. Yeah, that's the ticket!"

Clay9999 appeared and tapped Raptor on the shoulder. "Hey, do you know 
where we keep the extension cords?"

"Clay, you ignorant slut."

Blackheart wasn't amused. "I know you complain, Lord Raptor. You 
complain that I don't trust you to gain the elementals. It is because 
of reasons like this! You want a mission? Destroy that girl! That is 
your mission! Now leave!"

Lacking a retort, Raptor and Clay vanished from Hell.

"Now that that is taken care of, I have a special mission for you." 
Blackheart seemed to be talking to himself until a giant stone spider 
filled with magma showed up behind his throne.

"I will not fail you, my lord," Phantom growled.

"Good. Now go get me those elementals. I will not tolerate failure of 
any kind. Understood?"

The giant spider growled. "Understood."

"And if by chance you come across the Scarebro, do tear him apart so 
that I can speak to him in person about his recent disappointment."

"Understood."

[---]

Author's notes

I may just be the first person to ever write Mezu and Gozu fanfiction. 
Go me! :)

Rather than get Jae back together with NEG, I figured I'd toss him with 
someone new and since Angel is arguably the current top female character 
in the cast, I used her. Also, I just felt that Clay/Angel was getting a 
little stale. I guess I'm just one of those guys who would rather see 
Superman shack up with Wonder Woman than plain Lois Lane. Then again, 
it's that mentality that's brought us the overly used pairing of Ryu and 
Chun Li.

Sorry about all the flashback gags. I've watched about 30 Family Guy 
episodes in the past week.

Thanks go out to Grahf, dub and Jumpy for prereading. AoD for suggesting 
the Geese Howard "scene missing" bit. And Keio for not only giving me 
the idea to use Rick as the fourth Ghostduster, but for coming up with 
the idea of "COUNTERRRRR!!!"

Next is J.P. Polnare-- I mean, Chabot. Watch as Luigi, Miku, Yuna and 
Rick take on Ghost Dog, played by Forrest Whitaker!

Gavin "Gavok" Jasper
Half Horse Productions
http://www.rit.edu/~gjj2192/hol

[---]

The next morning...

"I have work today," Jae told Angel. "But I'll try to see if my boss 
would be interested in giving you a job. He probably will since we have 
a spot open for 'token female'. It'll help you get back on your feet so 
you can move out of here."

"Thanks a lot, Jae. Is there anything I can do to repay you? Anything at 
all?"

"Denounce evil and fight for good?"

"Can do. Oh, also can you pass me that soap?"

"Here you go."

"Thanks again. And also thanks for joining me in here. Sometimes taking 
a shower gets lonely."

"Uh, yeah. No problem."