Rugal Bernstein was a nervous wreck. He sat within his Blacknoah, cradling his head in his hands. Looking up, he saw his fellow pure evil crime boss with the mysterious background, M. Bison. With the Shadaloo leader were his henchmen Balrog and Vega. "Why did you call us over?" Bison asked. "I don't know. I just needed somebody to talk to. My life has been hell lately." "How so?" asked Vega. "Remember about six months ago when we all got high and started talking about what would have happened if Kim Kaphwan and his team won each year of King of Fighters instead of Kyo and K'?" Bison smiled. "I remember getting high, but I don't remember much else." Vega and Balrog laughed. Bison and Vega high-fived, then each screamed in pain. "Ow, you cut my hand!" "Ow, you burned my hand!" Rugal continued. "Anyway, I've been having these really fucked up dreams lately. They're like as if Kim won King of Fighters, only it's not him. The events are the same, but the people are different. Like instead of Kim and Jhun, it would have Megaman and Zero. It makes no sense!" Vega whistled. "That is fucked up." Balrog walked away. "Guys, I'm going to go get a breath of fresh air." Bison nodded. "You do that. Continue, Rugal." "I just don't know what to do. The dreams don't stop! I've had them all from '95 to 2001." "No '94?" Vega asked. "Not yet. But I wonder if it has to do with... Where did Balrog say he was going?" Bison looked over his shoulder. "He's getting a breath of... We're underwater, aren't we?" Rugal grabbed his hair. "Shit! A watery grave awaits us!" Bison and Vega high-tailed it out of there, eventually finding Balrog and bringing him with them. They didn't see Rugal escape, but were lucky enough to get out of the Blacknoah before it sank completely. They stood upon Bison's escape dingy and watched the explosions of the dying ship. "Damn!" Vega groaned. "My lunch money!" "What?" Bison asked. "What do you mean your lunch money?" Vega handed Balrog five (Bison) bucks. "Balrog bet me five dollars that he could sink the Blacknoah. And tomorrow's taco day at the Shadaloo cafeteria. Damn it!" Balrog pocketed the cash and smiled. "I followed you to Rugal's place just to get his lunch money! Ha!" Bison sighed. "I see. So that's your purpose. I'm sorry I failed to train you enough. Now, let's go home and I'll teach you never to gamble without me, you bitches!" [---] Rugal sprang up in a cold sweat. "I need therapy." [---] FORGOT ABOUT JAE Chapter 36: Life Ain't Easy for a Boy Named Sue Story ripped off its compact disc and put on the Internet by Shelby Scott, The Darkheart One Chapter tied to the railroad tracks by Gavin "Gavok" Jasper [---] Last time on Forgot About Jae: - Nakedity! - We learned that Chizuru is never lonely on a Saturday night! - Serious Sam has shown up, acting a lot like one of my personal heroes! - Lucca's got her shit together. Finally. - Jae was forgotten. In fact, the main characters of the story only got about five seconds of fic time. [---] Eiji Kisaragi sat down at his computer. "My name is Eiji! It starts with E! You know what else starts with E? Email!" A new message appeared on his monitor. "Dear Eiji, How's it going? I was wondering if you could show me some of your artistic skills by teaching me how to draw a robot ninja. Rosco Pittsburgh" Eiji laughed. "A robot ninja? That's easy! Feel free to follow along with my simple instructions! My drawing skills are totally sweet!" He pulled out a piece of notebook paper and held a pencil. "Okay, let's see here. First you got to draw a thin torso. Add some skinny arms and legs. Yeah, there we go. Eh, he's looking a little too human. Let's give him some claws. And a cool sword. Let's see... add on some wings, glowing eyes and a skeleton jaw and..." Eiji blinked. "You know what? I think I have to start again. Yeah, this is pretty bad." He tore off the piece of paper and crumpled it up Eiji's roommate Remy happened to be walking by. He looked at Eiji, and then looked down. "I'm sad that he's drawing." "Get out of here!" Eiji bounced the crumpled piece of paper off Remy's head. Remy moved on to his room where he took solace in some goth rock. "Okay, let's try again." Eiji pulled out another piece of paper. "Draw the torso... add the arms and legs... Let's give him a cool UFO shaped head. We'll keep the sword. The sword is cool. You know, let's have a flag sticking out of his back. For good measure. Yeah, that looks pretty good there... sticking out his back like that. Give him some cool armor and we're done!" Eiji admired his work. "Now we just need a name for him. How about 'Yoshimitsu the Chopinator?' I like that." For no reason whatsoever, rock music began to crank out. Eiji banged his head while singing. If you can call it that. "YOSHIIIIIII!! YOSHIIIIIII!! Yoshi was a man! I mean... he was a robot man! Uh... maybe he was just a robot. .......... But he was still YOSHIIIII!! YOSHIIIIIII!! Chopinating the Mishimas! Chopinating Paul Phoenix! Chopinating all the ninjas with the WHITE FOX MAAAASKS!! WHITE FOX MAAAAASKS! AND YOSHIMITSU COMES IN THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!" The ninja then fell off his chair. In his room, a tear ran down Remy's cheek. "I'm sad that he fell." [---] "My fight is in five minutes," Christie said to herself, clad in her sheer white robe. She looked down the cliff she was on and stared at the body of water below. "That means I have this place all to myself." Taking a deep breath of the island air, she dropped her robe. Once the light fabric completely settled around her feet, she ran off the cliff, flipped forward and dove straight down into the water. *thud* The always-peeved Pantsless Yuri Sakazaki walked by the bottom of the cliff, a minute or so early for her match. "Might as well get this stupid fucking shit done with. I can't believe this shit. I'm so going to kick..." That's when she saw Christie's bare butt sticking out in the air, her head buried under a dangerously shallow pond. She was most definitely unconscious. "Huh. I guess I won." Yuri walked away. "I wonder if Yamazaki knows people are ripping off his knocked out pose." [---] Sophitia blocked one of Athena's Psycho Balls and then drove her sword at Athena's midsection. Athena thought quick and teleported through the attack. Using her mind, the young goddess lifted Sophitia and tossed her up high. "Psycho Ball!" This time the projectile made its mark. The light sand of the beach helped cushion the fall. Sophitia stood up and looked at the determined Athena. "Well, then. I guess there's only one thing I can do." With that, she ran right at Athena. Her opponent easily dodged, but acted surprised when Sophitia kept running towards the ocean waves. She was more surprised when Sophitia discarded her sword and shield. More surprised when she kicked off her boots. And even more when she detached her chest plate. More so after Sophitia removed her skirt and tossed it away. And again when the white panties joined said skirt. "What the hell is she doing?" Athena asked. Sophitia, half her ass sticking out of the ocean water, looked upwards and held her hands together. "Hephaestus!" Athena lifted an eyebrow. "Hephaestus?!" A big, stone-like god appeared in the sky, looking down at the young blonde. "What is it, Sophitia?" "That girl was mean to me! Can you beat her up for me? PLEEEEEEASE?" "'Kay." Athena looked up at the towering god as he cracked his knuckles. She gulped. [---] Donovan Baine's quest to destroy Megaman X ceased once his hunt led to an ambush by Dr. Wily and his many robot masters. Now the Darkwalker found himself restrained on a strange operating table. Forte paced by, smiling. "We're going to drain you of all your blood, Mr. Baine. And with it, we'll create a series of robot masters with your god summoning powers. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Donovan looked up at the ceiling and grunted. "Megaman... X..." "Yes? What about him?" "He wants... revenge... for what Wily made him... become..." "Yes." Forte smiled at the helpless Baine. "But he would never try to break into Dr. Wily's invincible fortress." Several monitors turned on to show Megaman X, eyes filled with otherworldly rage, running through the entrance hallway and blasting Cut Man and Guts Man into shrapnel. He pounced at Elec Man and bit into his neck, right in front of one of the cameras. Looking at the camera, he grimaced. "I hate robot masters!" Forte took a step away from the monitors. Then, though Forte couldn't see it, the Hermit Purple busted through the floor and attached itself to the evil robot. With Forte wrapped up in his thorny Stand, Joseph Joestar crawled out the floor and filled Forte with enough solar power to overload his circuits. Forte passed out and Joseph went to free Donovan. "Hey, kid. Ready for some robo-zombie killing action?" "You know it, old man." [---] THE FUTURE The Makishi siblings waited inside the massive Bangaioh, outside of King Shishio's lair, waiting to strike. "Okay, so you know the orders, right Mami?" "Fuck yeah, Riki. If they fail, blast the ever-living shit out of King Shishio's place." "King Lion." Mami groaned. "Please don't get started on this." "Wait, look!" Riki pointed at the radar. "Something's coming in and fast!" "There's a huge power rating and... Oh crap on a stick! It's him!" Inside King Shishio's headquarters, the massive (and stupid looking) swordsman rose from his throne. Kim Sue Il, BB Hoodzil, Fuuma and two people he didn't recognize had made it to his sanctum. He held his blade and smiled. "Guess what time it is! Time's up! It's stabbing time! Starring Captain Stabby!" Kim Sue Il put his sunglasses away. He pointed his cane and opened his mouth, only to close it and pause. "I was going to take this time to do the cliché 'good will conquer evil' speech, but you just ruined it. Just... let's just fight." "Suits me! Does it suit you, Captain Stabby?" King Shishio blocked a cane meant for his mask. "Hey, don't interrupt!" Jae looked out the window to see the Bangaioh go up in flames. "Look!" NEG pointed. "There's somebody flying away on a jetpack or something! Look over there! With the green cape!" Hoodzil stepped away from the window. "Oh shit. It's him!" "Who?" Jae wondered. "He's the most feared being on the planet. He goes by the name of--" "Watch out!" Fuuma shoved Hoodzil away from the window, just in time for them to dodge a piece of shrapnel from the exploding mech. "URTH CHOPPER!" King Shishio bellowed as he slammed his sword into the ground. Sue Il rolled back and flipped forward, splitting the King's mask with a split kick. The sword flew out of King Shishio's hand and seemed to float in the air, twirling. "I can't... be defeated..." Sue Il smiled. "That was surprisingly easy." The sword drilled straight down and impaled King Shishio through the chest. "Achoo... Captain Stabby..." A crow flew down towards the handle of the sword and picked it up. To the sound of evil cackling, the sword and bird merged in a bright light. When it died down, a ninja with a bird's head and white hair remained. It was Jyazu. "Wow," Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend said in awe. "You look almost as asinine as the last guy." "Quiet!" Jyazu arched his back and flexed. He was briefly covered with flames, and then went for the attack. Fuuma flipped forward at the ninja bird, but Jyazu had other plans. He stood on one leg and delivered a rapid kick attack that made Chun Li look like a first-grader playing kickball. Fuuma took it head on and was launched out the window, screaming. "I am the supreme ninja. Now who is next to die?" [---] It was sister against sister. Ayane against Kasumi. Ayane happened to be an expert ninja, skilled in the arts of stealth. Kasumi, on the other hand, wandered around while screaming Ayane's name. Her sister followed her through the island, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Ayane looked down from the cliff that Christie occupied earlier. From up high, she could see Kasumi come across Christie and help her get her head out of the ground. While Christie desperately tried to make up for fifteen minutes of no air, Kasumi slipped on a rock and fell on her back. "Owie!" Ayane knew it was the perfect time to strike. She hopped off the cliff and dove downward, feet first at Kasumi. Now if done right, the attack could have won her the match by crushing Kasumi's midsection and knocking all the wind out of her. But since she was about six inches off from her mark, Ayane instead landed on Kasumi's chest. *BWOIOIOIOING!* Like a trampoline, Ayane bounced back into the air and soared off into the horizon. "Wow... *gasp* That... was... *inhale* pretty impressive, Kasumi... *wheeze*" "Just goes to show that I'm the girl with the best bounce." [---] The battle between Sakura Kasugano and Tiffany Lords raged through the forest within Zack's island. Tiffany gained an advantage when she hit Sakura with a combo that ultimately knocked her into a set of thorny bushes. By the time she found her way out, the pink skirt that OOSHA gave her was shredded to pieces. All that were left were her black undies and a very ripped up sailor shirt. "Haha!" Tiffany laughed, pointing one of her boxing gloves at Sakura. "Have a nice fall! See you next trip!" "God you're an airhead." "Well I'm not the one who just got half her clothes torn up!" Sakura looked at herself and then at Tiffany. "Yeah, but at least I have clothes *on*! What's your excuse?" "We've been through this: I didn't want to get my outfit dirty!" She tapped her head with one boxing glove. "That's why I'm smarter than you! And that's why I get handsome, rich boyfriends like Roy while you get stuck with gutter trash like Rock. So nyah!" Tiffany didn't know what hit her after that. Well, in retrospect, she probably would have guessed it was Sakura kicking the hell out of her, but at the time the ditzy cheerleader could only reel in pain from the various attacks. Sakura finished off her combo with a high kick in the air. Tiffany went soaring high above the forest, but was lucky enough to have a couple bushes break her fall. Standing up, Tiffany dusted off the pile of leaves covering her and shook her head. "Ugh... What a trip." Sakura jumped after her. While high in the air, she dove down like a bullet at Tiffany's head. But Tiffany easily saw it coming and knocked her away with an uppercut. Sakura flew back and arched right over a branch, which succeeded in snagging the back of her underwear and pantsing her on the way down. At the last instance, she flipped back and landed on her feet, quickly losing her balance and falling on her butt. Noticing it hurt more than it should have, Sakura looked up at the high tree branch and gave an annoyed grunt. Tiffany continued laughing. "Ha! That's what you get for trying to beat me up! You fell on your butt! Because turnabout is fair... uh... weather!" Sakura held her knees to her chest and scowled at Tiffany. "Yeah, very funny. I fell just like you. The difference is, I'm not the one who fell in a big pile of poison ivy." "Huh?" Tiffany looked down and saw that her body (or at least the parts she could actually see from that view) was now red and irritated. She tried to frantically scratch herself, but wearing boxing gloves kind of makes that difficult. So while screaming her head off in aggravation, Tiffany ran around in circles like an idiot until eventually running full speed into a tree and knocking herself out. Sakura shook her head, stood up and tried hitting the branch loose with one of her sneakers. "And that's why you get stuck with losers like Roy." Ayane landed on the branch, breaking it off. She then landed next to Sakura with a loud thud. Sakura put her underwear back on and patted Ayane on the head. "Thanks!" [---] Jyazu hit Jae with his rolling attack, taking the boy out. Sue Il attacked from behind with his cane, but Jyazu hopped over it and slashed the police officer across the chest with his retractable arm blade. At the time, the leader of the Jaguar ninja clan and true mastermind behind King Shishio's success stood tall among his all-but-beaten foes. Jae and Sue Il were both injured, Hoodzil was dormant with BB Hood's brain unable to control the scraps of metal and Jae's Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend hid away. But another figure entered the room. With a slight gesture of his metallic leg, he encased Jyazu among a wave of electricity that ultimately vaporized him from existence. "Idiots like Jyazu and King Shishio are not fit to rule this Earth," the newcomer said, crossing his arms. Kim Sue Il looked up and immediately went pale. "Who is it?" Jae asked, rubbing his head. Sue pointed and Jae followed the finger. What he saw was a familiar-looking man in shining armor and a green tunic. The hood covered his face with ominous darkness. Sue Il looked down and sighed. "It's dad." Jae jerked his head up and looked at the armored menace. "Dong?!" "Correction." He pulled back the green hood, revealing an older, more sinister Kim Dong Hwan. "It is I: Doctor Dong." "What in the name of justice...?" "Surprised to see me, brother? It's been quite a while since we've last seen eye to eye. And you're just in time to watch me bring my own sense of order to this wretched ball that we know as Earth. And the world will bow before me, all at once. For Dong commands it." Jae just stared in shock. "How...? How did this happen?" "Victor Von Doom took me under his wing years ago. He taught me the meaning of true power. And let me tell you something, brother. Dong likes power. Dong likes it *gooooood*." Kim Sue Il stood back, using his cane to keep balance. He shook his fist at his father. "You'll never get away with this, dad!" "Nothing can be considered impossible to Dr. Dong, my boy. They have all fallen before me. King Shishio, Jyazu, Bangaioh, Sigma, Red Falcon, Justice, the young Battler Man, Zero, the legendary Samus Aran and now..." he electrocuted Sue Il with his outfit-augmented powers, "...my own son." "NO!" Jae and NEG screamed. But it was too late. Sue Il fell flat on his face and twitched while smoking like overcooked eggs. "Now Dong just has to take care of his little brother and nobody will be in his way." Jae got to his feet and rushed Dr. Dong. "Never!" [---] Zack reviewed the footage of Sakura vs. Tiffany. "Nikki, you're the greatest!" "Well getting the Lewdatron working in full power wasn't that hard, Zack." Nikki held up a zip disk. "I have the H-drive's information on this disk." "That was a pretty good idea. Wish I thought of that." "You did." Zack shrugged. "How so?" "Don't you remember a few weeks ago when we went to Duck King's club? You specifically told me to 'back it up' when we were dancing." ".......huh." "Anyway, I don't know if you should be so happy, Zack. Half of the prudes have advanced." "Just a couple of flukes, baby. Besides, we do have our secret weapon." Nikki giggled. "Oh yeah. Her." [---] As Pantsless Yuri relaxed on a bench, Sakura walked up to her, with her hands over her butt. "Sakura, why are you walking like that?" She sat next to Yuri. "I don't take it you have any tape?" "Not on me. Why?" "I had a mishap in my last match involving my panties and now there's a huge hole in the ass." "Wow, your boyfriend must be hung like--" "Yeah, yeah, very funny." Yuri got off the bench and cracked her back. "I can't stick around to chat. I have a fucking match with fucking Sophitia coming up." "Hey Yuri, do you really think we can win this?" "Are you fucking kidding me? Of course we can!" Sakura looked around in case they were being watched. "What if Zack has something planned in case we do win?" "Don't worry about it. We have our secret weapon." "Oh yeah. Her." Both shuddered. [---] "ey, eijji m'man... As a most totally and supafly sweet ninja mastah, maybe you can provide a most unbiased answer to this riddle of the great ones: Who'd win a fight: Joe Musashi or Ryu Hayabusa? signed ninja4eva walla walla, washington FIGHT DA POWAH!" "Okay, now what the hell was that? I mean, all I understood in that message was the part about who would win in a fight between Joe Musashi and Ryu Hayabusa. Seriously, what the hell is with you people using these nonsense terms like 'walla walla, washington'? It's crap! Okay, anyway let's get to the question at hand. Joe Musashi or Ryu Hayabusa. "Now this seems pretty straightforward. Joe has the mooning taunt, and that's pretty funny. But it's not going to help him when Ryu gives him the Shin Shoryuken. I tell you, that's going to be one easy fight for Ryu." The Gon walked up to Eiji and screeched. "What are you talking about? Of course I'm talking about the right Joe and Ryu." The Gon screeched again. "No, you're the one who's wrong. 'Hoshi' was just something from the movie, man! Hey, Eiji knows what he's talking about, all right?" The Gon, bemused, left the room with a black scribble appearing above his head. [---] "What Would You Do For a Bison Pop?" Kula scratched her head. "I dunno." "Would you... stand on one leg?" "Okay." Kula stood on one leg. "Would you cluck like a chicken?" "Um, okay." Kula bent her arms and wiggled her elbows. "Cluck, cluck, cluck!" "Would you forfeit your match against Angel?" "...okay." "Great!" Angel tossed a Bison Pop to Kula. Kula unwrapped it, sucked on it and walked away, waving to her friend. Angel, now the winner, did a double-take. "Wait... You can *eat* them?" [---] Once Yuri knocked away Sophitia's sword and shield, their match was amazingly one-sided. Yuri let the Greek warrior have it until Sophitia could take no more. Finally, she broke away from the fight and decided to go with her winning strategy. She raced to the water once more, shedding her clothes as fast as possible. Yuri at first just scratched her head. Then she reached her hands back and said, "Whatever... HAOHSHOKOHKEN!" Sophitia looked over her shoulder and then ran like hell as the giant fireball zoomed towards her. But she wasn't nearly fast enough and ended up taking a direct hit that knocked her far into the water. A couple minutes later, her body washed up on the shore, barely mustering the strength to cough the water out her lungs. Yuri smiled for once. This tournament was a cinch so far. [---] "You asked to see me, Sonya?" "Ah, Jax. Glad to see you could make it." Jax sat down across from his friend. "So how's being the new general of the Special Forces treating you?" "Pretty good. But that's what I have to talk to you about." "Oh?" Sonya grasped her hands together. "Jax, we've been looking for ways to cut costs. Now I've been going over the budget and..." "Oh my God. Sonya, you're firing me?" "What? No, of course not." Sonya's eye contact ceased. She stared at Jax's reflective arms. "It's just... well... your arms. They're costing us a fortune." "You want me to get rid of my metal arms?" "Jax, just hear me out! I knew you wouldn't want to part from them, so I came up with a cost effective solution." Jax looked at her, uneasy. "What's that?" "We'll just replace them with a less expensive material. You'll hardly notice the difference." "Hm. Yeah, I guess that's cool. So what do you have in mind? Lead?" "No, actually it's... wait, let me show you." Sonya reached under the desk and pulled out a box. "Here, they're in there." Jax opened the box and looked at the contents in disbelief. "...This is straw." "Exactly." "You want me to go around with straw arms." "Exactamundo." "I hate you, Sonya." "I'm sure you do. But if you can please take it outside, I have an important meeting in five minutes." Jax's face suddenly became very sinister looking. "Say, Sonya. When do you get off from work?" "Today? Probably about 5:30. Why do you ask?" "No reason at all. I'll go put these on." [---] The next Queen of Fighters match required the two contestants to wear maids' outfits for fetish reasons. Mai hit Kasumi head-on with her Super Deadly Ninja Bees attack, which burnt off both their outfits early on. Upon completion, Mai realized her sudden state, blushed and spun around. When she ceased spinning, she was wearing her trademark red outfit once again. "How did you do that?" Kasumi asked in awe. "Oh, it's just a little Shiranui ninja trick I learned." "Can I try?" Mai shrugged, forgetting that they were supposed to be fighting. "Why not?" The naked Kasumi stood up and spun around. When she ceased, she was still nude, but she was wearing a beer hat. "Not bad for a first try," Mai told her. "Try it again." Kasumi spun around once more. This time she was wearing only rainbow socks with the individual toes. "How's that?" "Try again. Try harder! Hard like Andy's firm... Andy's..." she squinted her eyes. "Wait, is that Andy over there?" Kasumi spun around again. When finished, she was wearing only an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt. "Well?" Mai looked back. "You're getting there. Hold on." Mai saw a man's bare ass from far away that she was sure was Andy's. But as she neared the stands she found out she definitely needed to get her eyes checked. "Man, I know I dropped my frickin' wallet somewhere over here!" Serious Sam said while bending over with his jeans riding dangerously low. Master Chief laughed. "Hey Sam, you might want to pull up those jeans of yours! It looks like Sasquatch is smiling at me!" Sam looked back. "Oh! Heh! Sorry, about that! Man, I haven't mooned anybody since the last time I shaved my ass!" He looked up and smiled wistfully. "Ah, eighth grade." Mai projectile vomited all over Monitor. Zack walked up to the ninja. "Sorry, Mai. But that was really disgusting and I'm going to have to disqualify you. The match goes to Kasumi!" Mai pouted. Monitor sneezed and got vomit on Cortana's Clip Art dress. "Sorry." Cortana rolled her eyes. "Okay, that's it! I don't need this! We're going back home. Come on guys, let's get out of here." "Aw man!" Serious Sam complained. "Okay, fine. Let's blow this joint. I clogged up Zack's toilet anyway." Zack removed his sunglasses. "You did what?!" Kasumi spun around yet again. "Hey, MC Hammer pants!" [---] "Hadoken!" Vice flipped over the fireball, grabbed Sakura, jumped up and slammed her down with a powerbomb. While Sakura was dazed, Vice took advantage, adding insult to injury by tearing off what remained of Sakura's underwear. "Hey, that was a gift!" Sakura tried pulling down her shirt to no avail. "You should return it. It's all torn up." Vice emphasized by turning it to confetti with her bare hands. "You'll pay for that!" Vice grabbed Sakura by the ankle and tossed her away. "Not likely. I have the amazing powers of the great Orochi. What do you have, school girl?" "This." In a bright flare, Sakura's skin suddenly became darker. She slowly blinked, transforming her eye's color to glowing red. She hopped up and floated with one knee bent, over to Vice before she could move out of the way. *WHAPITY-WHAPITY-WHAPITY-WHAP-WHAP-WHAP-WHAP!* *ting* *EIGHT AND A HALF!* The evil-looking Sakura held Vice's half-dead body over her shoulder. "Now, let's take a trip to the changing room and make a trade." [---] Before his death, Victor Von Doom passed on his most important piece of information to Dong Hwan: be prepared for everything. Expect the unexpected. That was the reason why Doom had never paid for any of his crimes against humanity. He had contingency plans in case his other contingency plans failed. And that in itself was more important than magical powers and super strength. At the moment, Dr. Dong was learning the importance of Doom's words. His metallic outfit was durable enough to withstand Jae's kicks. But he failed to realize that his armor was a strong conductor for Jae's flames. The burning sensation finally got to Jae's enemy, causing him to explode. "What the...?" NEG stepped out from behind a statue to inspect what was left of Dr. Dong. "It was just a Dongbot." She looked over her shoulder to see the real Dr. Dong hiding behind King Shishio's throne. "Hey! There's the real one!" "Damn! I knew I should have picked a better hiding spot." "It's over, Dong. You just saw what I did to your replica. I can do the same to you if I wanted." NEG shoved him. "If you wanted to?! What are you talking about?! Kill him!" "Well... I don't know. I mean..." "I said kill him!" "Are you all right?" NEG calmed down. "Listen, look what he did to my son-- er, your nephew, Sue Il." This fueled Jae's rage for a moment until something reached his mind. "Wait a minute. This doesn't make sense. I was transported to the future, meaning I got to see what the world would end up like if I was gone." He looked at Kim Sue Il's dead body, then shifted his view towards his girlfriend. "But... if you were with me during all of this, then how could you have given birth to him?" "Listen, Jae! Dong is going to get away! You have to destroy him! You need to!" Jae ignored Dr. Dong and advanced towards NEG. "You're not my girlfriend. Who are you?" "NOOOO!" NEG's eyes glowed white as she smashed her fist through a wall. Dr. Dong, Kim Sue Il and all the others besides she and Jae vanished into darkness. Jae looked around in confusion. "I was so close! So close!" She transformed into a bleach-skinned bald man with red tattoos all over his body. Quan Chi growled. "I was so close." "Huh?! Who are you? What the heck is going on?" "Congratulations, Kim Jae Hoon. You saw through the illusion. Allow me to introduce myself. I am called Quan Chi." He reached out his hand. Jae refused to shake it. "You still didn't explain what's going on." The blood on Jae's dobok and face began to disappear. "Think of me as a potential friend, Jae Hoon. I needed to show you the truth." "The truth about what?" "Your brother. Tell me, Jae. How much do you know about your brother's activities lately?" "I... I know that he came back to South Town recently. But that's it, really. What are you getting at?" "Do you know who came with him on his journey to South Town? His mentor, Victor Von Doom. You're familiar with Dr. Doom, are you not?" "You lie!" "You saw for yourself what will happen in the future." Jae shook his head. "No, that was just an illusion. Nothing more than a dream." "Was it? Or maybe it was a prophecy of what will happen if nobody opposes your evil brother. Or maybe it's a mixture of the two. Who knows?" "Dong is not evil." Quan Chi turned away from Jae and smiled. "He's not? I tell you what, then. Go seek out your brother. Then tell me if I do indeed lie." Jae ran at Quan Chi. "But in the mean time, I think you should probably wake up." [---] "Jae, wake up." Jae sprung up in a cold sweat. "What?!" NEG coaxed him. "Jae, it's okay. You were just having a bad dream." "Where are we?" "Actually, it's more like 'when are we?' When Fuuma opened that door, we fell into prehistoric times. You almost fell into a tar pit when this guy saved you." "What guy?" Jae looked up and saw a massive caveman with curly black hair and a pink cheetah loincloth. His brow overshadowed his eyes. "Oh. That guy. Uh, thanks." "Nbrpblmm." Nearby, Lucca and the rest of Violence Unlimited appeared in the time machine. Cracker Jack waved them over. "Get a move on, Jae! Now's not the time for napping!" "Finally! I thought you guys forgot about me!" NEG helped Jae up and they ran to the time machine. After getting in, Jae took a look at the caveman and then looked at Hugo. He whispered to his girlfriend, "You don't suppose that that caveman is...?" "Ticklish? No, I checked." The time machine took off and flew back to their rightful time. CJ smiled at Lucca. "Thanks for getting us out of that mess. I swear I'll have Fuuma pay for the damages via his next few paychecks." "No problem. Though really, I only found you guys because I was hired to." "By who?" Poison wondered. "Karin Kanzuki. She says she wants to speak to you guys ASAP." [---] Quan Chi exited his Inner Sanctum with a sinister grin on his face. He was greeted by Moloch and Drahmin. "How it go?" Drahmin asked. "Better than expected. Soon Jae will find out about his brother's alliance with Dr. Doom. The fear of Dong stripping him of everything he holds dear: his love, his justice and eventually his life will grow within him. And he will attack and kill Dong because of it. And not only will Dong be unable to interfere with my plans again, but Jae will be too deep into the darkness to step in my way. And then, my Oni friends, the world will be MINE." There was an awkward pause. "So anyway, I'm going to 7-11. You guys interested?" [---] Zack kicked off the semi-finals with another gimmick match. This time a swimsuit match between Sakura and Angel with outfits picked at random. Angel ended up in the dark gray one-piece bikini called the Mach. Actually, it was more like a half-piece. It was just two narrow straps going down her chest and merging at the bottom, held together by a very thin thong string going up her back. Like always, Angel seemed strangely content with it. Sakura, on the other hand, wasn't pleased. While she didn't mind the short shorts she had to wear, she did have a big problem with her top only consisting of a pair of suspenders that were just barely strategically placed. "How is this a swimsuit? Who the hell can swim in this?" Angel walked up to Sakura. "Quit your whining." She grabbed the suspenders, pulled them back and let them go. "Ow!" Sakura groaned. "That hurt!" Angel slugged her in the face. "I'm sure that did too. You know, you remind me of a bad photo." "Huh?" Sakura got to her feet. "Exposed before being fully developed." "Oh, shut up. Just because you're going to have massive back problems in a year doesn't make you better than me. Your big boobs won't stop my fist from reaching your face!" "Let's go." Sakura hopped over one of Angel's sweeps followed by ducking a haymaker. While still crouching, she reached her arm up to uppercut Angel in the chin. But her fist stopped with an inch to go. Her arm was stuck. Sakura tried to pull her arm out. "Okay, I guess I was wrong." Angel looked at the fist sticking out her cleavage. "This must be the third time this has happened to me... this month." Sakura put her foot on Angel's leg and used her leverage to separate the two. Both women flew back a few feet. This did nothing to Sakura, but it did cause Angel to back into a palm tree. She tried to rush Sakura, but found that she couldn't move for more than half a foot. "What the...?" Looking back, Angel noticed that the string that made up the back half of her bikini was caught in the bark of the palm tree. She was stuck. Sakura smiled and balled her hands. "Looks like it's time to finish you off." Angel continued her seemingly futile attempt to run away. The back string began to give. "Shinkuu... HADO--" *snap* *whoosh* *whap* "Ow, my eye!" Sakura screamed with her hand over her face and Angel's Mach outfit lying at her feet. Angel took advantage of the situation by slamming Sakura into the ground. Angel waved her arms around, zipped left, zipped right and then delivered the Angel Elbow to Sakura's chest. This knocked Sakura out completely. Angel turned to Duck King, whose station was set up nearby. "I'm going to go try some of this pool hopping I've heard about. Get me when it's time for the finals, okay?" "Uh huh." Duck King slowly turned around to Zack. "Hey Zack, I'm going to be in my room for a while. Get me when it's time for the finals. ...And knock first." Zack turned to Nikki. "I'm going to go wash that mental image from my mind. Get me when it's time for the finals." [---] Yuri dropped her fighting stance when she noticed a pair of bows on Kasumi's hips. "Wait, is this a bikini match too?" "Not that I'm aware of." "Then... why the fuck are you wearing a string bikini under that?" "Huh? Oh no, those are just my panties." "...why don't you just wear a regular pair?" "Why aren't you wearing any at all?" "That's beside the point. I mean, what if you're in the middle of a fight and *this* happened?" Upon emphasis, Yuri yanked the string on Kasumi's right hip. "Hey!" Kasumi slapped Yuri away. "Shoot! Let's see, how am I supposed to retie this thing? Um... twist them around each other and... no, that doesn't work. What if I cross them and then... no, not that either. Maybe if I hold them together in my hand, close my eyes, count to three and let go it'll work. One, two, three... darn." Now you're probably wondering what Pantsless Yuri was up to during this. Well, she was actually powering up so that when she did her Flying Phoenix Kick, it would be much more powerful. And boy did it work. Kasumi tried the spin trick she learned earlier. "Hey, they're tied! ...But where are the rest of my clothes?" *kickykickykickykickykickykickykicky BLAST* Yuri celebrated over the beaten Kasumi and laughed while adjusting her belt. "What a stupid bitch. How can you not know how to tie a knot?" Her belt accidentally slipped from her hands and fell to the ground, opening up her gi. She ducked down and crossed her arms. "Ah, FUCK!" [---] Work was over and General Sonya Blade could finally go home. She entered her car and decided that she wanted to drive to music. She opened her glove compartment to see what CDs she brought with her. Once the compartment opened up, a cloud of smoke exited out and caused Sonya to go into a coughing fit. "Ugh. I need to have this car cleaned." Fun fact about Sonya. She doesn't like spiders. She just can't stand them. So it caused quite a reaction when she tried to start the car and about ten spiders poped out of the ignition. "Holy shit!" she screamed. Trying to get out the door, she found it was locked. And more spiders began to crawl from regions of the car. No matter how hard she brushed them off her, they continued to regroup and return. Finally she busted through the door and fell out the car, screaming her head off. She rolled around on the ground, trying to get the spiders off as hard as she could. Bystanders wondered what the fuck her problem was and why she was just rolling around screaming about spiders. Watching all of this from his car was Jax. He watched Sonya's reaction to his gas and laughed to himself. "You know, I'm beginning to like these new arms, Sonya. And you would be happy to know that you're the first of many who will witness my newfound evil. And soon everybody will know my name. Everybody will know my fear. "Everyone will know of The Scarebro." [---] "Dear Eiji, What do you look like without your mask on? Crapfully yours, clintwood" "Gah. It's not like I don't get this question every fricking day. I guess I'll probably answer-- DELETED!!" The word "DELETED" appeared over the screen and Eiji laughed. "Man, that never gets old." Ryo walked by. "Hey Eiji, I'm in youw house!" "Oh. Well, that sucks. What do you want, wiener?" "Have you seen King anywhewe?" "No, and I don't give the faintest crap about your stupid girlfriend." "Hey, that TV has wowds on it." Eiji groaned. "Shouldn't you be busy pretending that you're Ken Masters?" "Huh?" "Just get out of here!" Ryo merrily pranced away. "La la la la la!" "Man, the only guy more annoying than Sakazaki is..." Ryou Szakakazi barged in through the door. "Uhhh, hey Zantetsu! Is that mop around?!" "I can only assume that you're talking to me and you're asking about Remy. He's in the basement!" "Ahhm an Alpha Counter junky!" [---] All the inhabitants on Zack Island, in their differing states of undress, gathered to watch the important final match up between Yuri Sakazaki and Angel. Prior to the match, Tiffany and Morrigan convinced Angel to burn her outfit, claiming that after winning she would have no further use for clothes. Being easier than a game of tic-tac-toe, Angel complied. "Okay, Angel," Zack instructed. "In order to win the championship, you're going to have to fight Yuri Sakazaki." "Oh, no she's not!" Someone yelled from behind him. "Who are you?" Nikki asked. "I'm Clay9999. I'm her goddamn boyfriend. Angel, what are you doing like this?" "Fighting in a contest on the side of a group of attractive women who think nudity is beautiful and all attractive women should be forced to agree?" "Fuck that! You're forfeiting, getting dressed and we're getting out of here!" Angel shrugged. "'Kay." About a dozen others, including Zack and Morrigan, smacked themselves in the head. "Nothing personal guys!" she said while waving goodbye. "Where are your clothes, Angel?" "Destroyed." "Christ... Thank God I brought this sundress just in case. Put it on." Angel scratched her head. "Say, if you were so against this thing, how come it took you so long to show up?" "Well, it's weird. I thought I was home in bed with you when it turns out that it was Shang-- you know what? Never mind." Yuri pointed at Zack. "Well, I guess that means I'm the winner! Now we're going to bust up your fucking stupid nudity machine or whatever it is, get dressed and go the fuck home!" "Not so fast, Kyokugen brat!" Zack whistled. "You first have to get passed my secret weapon: Nitara!" A voluptuous vampire woman with big wings coming walked out and scowled at Yuri. "I'm going to tear you-- AH! OH MY GOD THE SUN! IT BURNS! AH! WHAT A WORLD!" Zack looked at the ashes that remained of Nitara. "Wow. Looking back, that was a pretty fucking stupid plan." A pair of black panties dropped onto Zack's head. He took them off and lifted his eyebrow. "What the fuck?" Turning around, he saw Millia Rage standing on top Duck King's stage, grinning. "They have a secret weapon too, you know. ME!" "Oh? And what are you going to do?" Morrigan scoffed. "THIS!" Millia grabbed her skirt, lifted it up and-- [---] I'm sorry, but the following actions of the previous scene are a little too fucked up, even for Forgot About Jae. So to pass the time, here's something completely different. "You know, if you toss a million monkeys in a room with a million typewriters, one of them will write the greatest American novel. But five others will write the transcript for Barbara Walter's interview with E. Honda!" "Watching E. Honda eating breakfast syncs up perfectly with Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon'!" "He's watched Bride of Chucky eight times in a row!" "He told Bruce Willis to star in Armageddon, but refuses to admit it!" "E. Honda doesn't fake the funk on a nasty dunk!" "TO E. HONDA!" [---] Most members of Team Zack were laid out from Millia's actions. Zack, on the other hand, was still fully conscious. "That was incredibly fucked up! But it doesn't matter, baby!" He pulled out an elaborate ray gun. "Because I have the Lewderizor Ray! Any one of you even tries to take me out and I'll blast off all your clothes with this baby!" The wind of a helicopter knocked Zack's glasses off. The side of the copter said "KANZUKI ZAIBATSU" in big red letters. A rope ladder fell from the opened door and Poison climbed down. "I'm here to take you out, Zack." "More like 'take it off!'" He zapped Poison with a direct hit from his Lewderizor Ray. The tank top dissipated into dust and the short-shorts fizzled into nothingness. There was a smile as Zack checked out Poison's rack. But as his eyes reached hir crotch region, his expression changed to that of somebody realizing their foot was in a blender. "OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN!!" I don't want to explain what Zack saw there. Hell, I'm not completely sure of what was there in the first place. But whatever it was, Zack's psyche would never be the same ever again. Poison easily wrestled the ray gun out of his hand, walked over to Mature and smashed it to bits over her skull. Then the naked Poison dragged Mature over to the nearest changing room to replace hir clothes. Vice, who was wearing only three small, green leaves in the front and absolutely nothing in the back, shook her head and sighed. "Work is going to be interesting come this Monday." Nikki decided that it would be the perfect time to sneak away. But as she quietly tiptoed away from Zack's direction, she bumped into Chun Li, May Lee and Sakura. All three were understandably very pissed off. Also, Sakura was wearing Vice's outfit, only with the sleeves cut off and the skirt at half its normal length. "Hello there, Nikki," Chun Li smiled while cracking her knuckles. Nikki was getting off easy, though. Well, in comparison to Zack, that is. He backed up into a wall while looking frantically at the dozens of partially, half and fully naked women in front of him. Usually to be in a similar predicament was his dream, but not when they were all so pissed off and ready to maim him. "Heh. So... anybody for volleyball?" [---] Vega held out an opened forty-ounce bottle of malt liquor and poured it out. A tear went down his mask. "This is for you, Zack." Bison walked by and scolded him. "Vega, you're getting it all over my beautiful rug! Stop that!" [---] Heihachi looked across his desk at the two lead members of SCABS, Sharon and Rolento. "What is your status on winning me the mayor's race?" "We've been having some trouble taking care of Rodriguez," Rolento muttered, "but other than that, we've been having nothing but success. We got rid of the Glass Joe/Gabby Jay ticket as well as Cody and Guy. And we didn't even have to worry about Goenitz and Strife. Apparently Goenitz's secretaries went off on break and he doesn't have the time to run for office." Sharon concurred. "And also, that ribbon-wearing girl The World dropped out, but we had nothing to do with it." Heihachi smiled. "Yes, I heard about that. It seems she was mysteriously given three bad cases of pinkeye. So all we have to worry about is Khushnood Butt, then." The door opened and Kuma ran in, grunting and growling frantically. Heihachi turned to his television set and turned it on. "Channel 4? Why?" [---] "This is Trevor Belmont here. Today, in a shocking piece of news, there has been a new duo to toss their hats into the circle for the race for Mayor of South Town. Oh, the press conference is about to start." Stepping up to the podium were Ryou Szakakazi and Remy. Ryou didn't really seem to know where he was while Remy didn't really seem to care. Trevor raised his hand. "Excuse me, Ryou, but what would you bring to the table as our mayor?" "Errruuhh, ahhhhm a four hit combooooo!" "Okay. Do you have any thoughts on the Fire Tax?" "Uhhh, waffles are my favorite striiiiiker!" "Waffles are your favorite striker? That doesn't even make sense." "Myyyy eggnog is a Roman Canceeel!" Trevor scratched his head. "Okay, then. Remy, do either of you have any dreams of improving South Town?" Remy stepped up. In a depressed tone he told Trevor, "I had a reoccurring dream where I witnessed a flood of black death that washed over South Town and ended all suffering through drowning the citizens. It was glorious. Then I woke up and realized that I had to spend another day through my miserable existence." "Huh... Okay, back to Ryou. Do you have any final thoughts?" "Myyy shuffling is top tieeeer!" "Back to you, Simon." Before the feed cut, Remy sighed. "I'm sad that I'm not Guile's son." [---] Sharon blinked. "We'll get to work." [---] At OOSHA's headquarters, Dan Hibiki turned off the TV. "Man, that Ryou guy is such a poor man's Ryo Sakazaki." Benimaru just buried his face in his hands and said nothing more than his usual weeping. [---] Dr. Wily frantically ran down a corridor. Megaman X had destroyed his Random Giant Machine with a Skull On It of the Day and the mad scientist was running into his underground escape pod. But once he got there, he found his pod destroyed. "You run pretty well for an old man," Megaman X said from the shadows. "Megaman X! Listen, we can talk this over!" "No thanks. I don't like to talk with my mouth full." X walked from the shadows, a delirious grin on his face. He licked his lips as he advanced towards his bloodline's (circuit-line's?) enemy. But Donovan Baine hopped down between the two. "You didn't say grace." Megaman X sized him up. "Is the enemy of my enemy my friend... or my enemy?" Almost being decapitated by Donovan's sword, Dhylec, sealed the deal. "I see." X blasted his arm cannon at the vampire hunter. Dr. Wily decided to use this time to sneak away. The Hermit Purple had other ideas. "Now, now," Joseph told him while holding him in place. "What's the hurry?" Donovan's sword floated before him, spinning and blocking all the shots while X backed away. Once they came across a wall, Megaman X bounced off it and fired a charged shot at Donovan. It barely missed, but the resulting explosion knocked him on one side of the room, opposite from the side where Wily's destroyed pod lay. X hopped onto the pod, jumped high into the air and seconds later smashed Donovan with a deadly elbow drop to the sternum. X picked Donovan up and smiled. "Seems a little exotic, but I'm always willing to try new things." Before Megaman X could take a bite out of Donovan, the Darkwalker head-butted him in the chin, which loosened the robot's grip. Donovan shoved him off and summoned a bearded god made of fire. This god grabbed Donovan's sword and used it to slice X across the stomach. Intestine-like wires flowed from the wound. X staggered, then looked down at his stomach. "Heh. Nice one." Then he fell to his back. Joseph let go of Wily. "Is he dead?" "I don't know. That's probably not enough to kill a zombie, robotic or not. Better check his circuits. Try to find out if there's a cure for his disease while you're at it." Joseph grabbed X with the Hermit Purple Stand. After some scanning he nodded at his protégé. "Yes, he's still alive. Just knocked out. I got good news and bad news." "What's the good news?" "According to my Stand, there is a cure for what he has." "The bad news?" "It won't be discovered for another twenty years." "Then I guess we'll just have to kill him and end this nightmare." A large shadow filled the room. "That won't be necessary." Donovan and Joseph saw the overweight, hairy and just plain grotesque Gordon entering the room. Donovan had his blade ready. "That won't be necessary either." He pulled out his badge. "I'm Officer Gordon Heidern-Koehan. I'm from the future. I have plans on bringing this robot back with me and having him repaired." Joseph found this a little unbelievable. "How can we be so sure that you're from the future?" "I have a nightstick that shoots balls of lightning." Donovan shrugged. "You win. Take the robot, if you must. But if I find out that you're lying, I'll hunt you down and help you get rid of all that cellulite myself." "That's kind of nice of--" "That was a threat." "Oh. Fuck you too, then." Gordon lifted Megaman X and held him under his arm. A rock from the ceiling landed next to him. "This place looks like it's not going to hold up much longer. We should probably get out of..." turning around, he saw that Donovan and Joseph were already gone. "...here? Damn, he's good." [---] Clay9999 and Angel got out of their taxi. Clay paid the driver while Angel slammed the door behind her. Then she handed a cell phone to Clay9999. He took it and shoved it into his chest for safekeeping. "Who were you calling?" "Tiffany. She says that Zack's Lewdatron device has been destroyed completely." "So that means for once you can go an entire day wearing normal clothes and *not* having them fall off or apart?" "Yeah. I guess so." Clay9999 raised his hands in the air and yelled, "YES!" The cab drove away, showing that Angel accidentally slammed the door over her sundress. It tore off in a flash, leaving her in her natural state. Again. Clay looked back and fourth at Angel and the taxi. "Wait! But! It! And! You! And! Destroyed! But! How! Clothes! HOW!?" [---] Years before... Zero guided his lord Ignis through the NESTS laboratory. They came across a young Kula, floating in a tube and wearing a tight bodysuit. "This is the Anti-K' project we've been working on, my liege. We call her Kula. Currently her ice powers seem to be rivaling that of both K', Kusanagi and Yagami. Certainly a great asset to NESTS." "Very good, Zero. How goes the latest clone?" "Ah, yes. If you could step this way." The two neared a second tube, this one with a scrawny man in a body suit similar to Kula's. "This is K9999. He is the 9,999th clone of K' that we have created. His abilities include both flames and the power to transform parts of his body. He is virtually unkillable." "Excellent." Ignus looked at the next tube, which had a floating Angel inside. "Who is that?" "That's just one of our assassins that we decided to use for our latest project: a female with a fanservice level that exceeds any living human thrice over." "Even Shiranui?" Zero nodded. "Yes, even her." "I don't see *why* we're doing this, but what the hell. And is there a reason why she's wearing a thong two-piece in there?" "Huh. That's odd. When we put her in there she was wearing one of the regular bodysuits." "Wacky." [---] Dr. Wily's fortress crumbled into rubble, leaving a cloud of dust that looked strangely like a giant skull. But on a cliff nearby, one of the survivors of its destructions met with his ally. It took about an hour and a half before Gordon could catch his breath from all that running. Chang waited patiently. "You all right?" "Yeah... hold on... Okay." Gordon stood up. "I'm going to have to return to my own time now. But those ninjas Mezu and Gozu are still out there and they're certainly out to get your friend Jae. I need you and your two army buddies to look out for him. Those ninjas are dangerous." "Because they're from the future." "Exactly." Chang and Gordon shook hands. Chang smiled at him. "Thanks for the help, buddy. Have a safe trip home." "Thanks. And you take care of yourself." Gordon and Megaman X began to fade away. "See you later, dad." "Yeah." Chang lifted his iron ball and started on his way home. Then Gordon's words finally sunk in. "'Dad?!' Holy crap! How could I have been so blind?!" Chang smacked himself in the head. "I forgot to return Ghost Dad to the video store! Blockbuster's going to have my legs broke!" [---] "You can drop me off here," Sakura said. Yuri stopped the car in the middle of the empty road. "Are you sure? I can easily take you back to your place." "It's fine. I just feel like walking." Sakura exited the car and waved. "Okay, then. Take care." "Thanks for the ride, Yuri. We gave them Hell, didn't we?" "We sure did." Yuri drove off into the distance. Sakura looked into the night sky and smiled. She walked down the empty road, thinking about her recent adventure and how messed up it was. She thought about how she would explain all of this to Rock and Stone. She then thought about that loud engine coming from behind. Turning around, Sakura saw Zack behind the wheel of a huge Mac truck, driving straight at her. Sakura narrowed her eyes and dramatically jump kicked at the truck. [---] Author's Notes This chapter is a victory for Racewing, who is probably cackling as he reads this over. Damn you, Green Ranger! There were several ideas I had for this chapter that I never got to use because I had no real place to fit them. I was at one point going to use a parody of the Blood Pack from Blade 2 for the Donovan story called the Dark Pack (Demitri as the leader, Hsien-Ko as Donovan's love interest, Bishamon as the cool swordsman, Victor as the big guy, etc) but decided I'll use them later on. I was thinking of doing a scene of leaf-clad Vice and Mature's return to work at the insurance agency after coming back from the island, but I had nowhere to put it and I was dry on ideas for it, anyway. Besides, I've more than filled the quota for fanservice in this chapter. Another idea I had no room for was using Parappa as WWE's John Cena and having him rap insults before getting his ass kicked. Behind him would be Vincent Valentine (V-squared), always shouting "BOOYA!" For those wondering, the Eiji segments are based on the characters of www.homestarrunner.com. Eiji as Strong Bad, Ryo as Homestar Runner, Remy as Strong Sad, Gon as The Cheat and Ryou Szakakazi as Homsar. Considering his steroid freak gimmick here, I'm sure Billy Kane would qualify as Strong Mad in future chapters. Thanks go to black dub for being a big help with ideas and prereading. Thanks to Wanderer for prereading as well. And also thanks to Keio, Grahf and anyone else who helped give me ideas. Up next is JP Chabot. Hey, that's a pretty cool name. "And then Yoshimitsu smote the Chabot! And all was laid to chopination!" Gavin "Gavok" Jasper Half Horse Productions http://www.rit.edu/~gjj2192/hol [---] Chizuru stared at the mirror in a dressing room. She calmly and gruffly spoke to her reflection. It sounded as if she was rehearsing for something. "I've been around this block twice, looking for something... a clue. I've been looking for clues and something led me back here... yeah... so here I am. Could've been me who was at Zack's place when the shit went down... Hey... I know how it is... cause I've been there. We've all done bad things. We all have those guilty feelings in our hearts... you want to take your brain out of your head and wash it and scrub it and make it clean... well no. "But I'm going to help you settle this. You know me. You know my reputation... I don't treat you gently. That's right: I'm Chizuru Kagura. "So I'm going to be nice and I'm going to ask you one more time... "Where the fuck is Goenitz?" Chizuru stood up and unzipped her pants, whipping out her girlwang. She looked into the mirror and smiled. "I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star, I'm a big bright shining star." Chizuru zipped up her pants and kicked at the mirror. She smiled and exited out the door.