"Vanilla," asked Dio Brando as he stepped out from the back room of the ice cream shop that served as his new lair, "What the Hell's all this..." Dio was about to say 'racket', when he was greeted by the sight of a really pissed Chang Koehan beating Vanilla Ice in the head with his iron ball. Not at all what Dio expected. "Your thong-wearing buddy isn't coughing up answers," Chang said as he turned to Dio, giving Vanilla a chance to recover. "So are you going to tell me where Dio Brando is or am I going to have to introduce you to 31 flavours of pain?" The vampire gave a slight bow. "I am Dio Brando. And this is my associate, The World." At those words, time ground to a sudden halt as per the power of Dio's stand. No one but he had any right to smack the crap out of his minions, and he wanted this bloated oaf out of his store as soon as possible. But then something happened Dio did not expect. Chang smiled. "Time-stopper, huh?" Chang said, "Cute trick. Too bad for you I learned that move in 2002. Now, let's you and me rassle." Then something happened that neither Chang nor Dio expected. The doors to the shop flew open and off their hinges as Garuda, the huntsman of Hell, stormed into the building. So surprised were the former two that their time freeze cancelled out and Vanilla Ice saw the demon as well. "Vanilla," Dio shouted, "protect your master!" "Word to my master," Vanilla replied, as he summoned Cream to fight. "Bring as many goons as you want Dio," Chang said with a fierce grin, "I'll still be waiting to kick your ass." Garuda said nothing, but It remembered how Dio had kept It from The Prey, and how the fat one had sent It hurtling across the skyline. As It's 2-hour break came on, Garuda knew that It would spend it getting some Payback Time. Chang raised his ball and chain and... [---] [Shot of the WHITE HOUSE in WASHINGTON D.C.] Announcer: We interrupt for this important message from the President of The United States. Cut to: [Scene, int., Medium Shot] PRESIDENT TAT ENPEASI sits at his desk in the OVAL OFFICE, facing the camera, his expression glum, his eyes narrowed. PRESIDENT TAT (Sighs): Times Are Tough... Cut to: [Shot of the WHITE HOUSE in WASHINGTON D.C.] Announcer: This has been an important announcement from the President of The United States. We now return you to your regular viewing schedule, already in progress. [---] FORGOT ABOUT JAE: Chapter 29: Breakfast of Champions Originally locked in an orbital movie theatre by Dr. Shelby Scott. Forced to watch really awful old and new movies by TV's Jim. Riffed to Hell and back by test victim Gavin Jaspers, and Mary-Melissa Wilzewski and David Brothers, Wisecracking smart-alecky robots. [---] Last time on Forgot About Jae - Things got serious - With help from Dong Hwan, Jae did the Right Thing, and spared Rock Howard's life. - Things got funny again. - Judge Joe Higashi lay down the law - The Vikings clashed with the Pirates, but over schoolgirls, not football, as dictated by the laws of Cheap Humour - Megaman and Roll violated...laws. Yeah. Laws. Right... - Dong discovered the meaning of life...and it was FAST FOOD! - Chang Got into a 4 way between himself, Dio, Vanilla Ice, and Garuda... - GETCHER MINDS OUTTA THE GUTTER! [---] "Holy willful neglect, Battler Man," The Bao Wonder said, "You're saying that I'm now responsible for the security of the entire Battler Cave and all the secrets that it holds?" "That's right old chum," Battler Man said as he packed his spare Battler-uniform and Battler-utility belt into the Battler-Suitcase, right beside the Battler Toothbrush and Battler Comb. "Since Moe's off at the Wing Boys concert, and Richard is attending the Butler Convention, that means the team's entire security rests on your tiny, grade school kid shoulders while I'm attending The Contest." "Gotcha BM," the psychic child said with a salute," I won't let you down." "Don't call me BM. Anyway, I've got a time machine to catch, so I'll be taking the Battler Go-Cart tonight." "Good luck, I'll be rooting for you when it airs on the Pay-Per-View Channel." "Good show old chum!" Battler Man then got into the Battler Go-Cart, and raced out of his secret lair to meet his date with destiny. The Bao Wonder stood there for about five minutes, before heading over to the back door to the cave and opening it to allow in none other than Mariah-Net. "Let's get to work, Lil' Smokey," She said with a smile as Bao lit himself a refreshing Menthol cigarette, "Mistah S is counting on us to fix things up for when he gets back from The Contest." [---] Barely less than three hours ago, Mariah-Net was watching her boss turned paramour, The Smoker, pack his bags for The Contest. "Now remember Mari-girl," he said, packing in the box of Cuban Cigars Quan Chi had given him, "While I'm off distracting the Dark Nugget, you break into the Battler Cave and leave all those wonderful surprises we've been planning for him over the years. If there's anything I know he'll love, it's a nice big surprise party, Ah-hahahahackcoughcough..." "But how will I know when it's safe to go in?" Smoker resisted the urge to put a bullet through her head right then. For a twisted loonie forever in love with him with a Stand possessing the power to control metals, Mariah-net wasn't the fastest gun on the draw. "Because Lil' Smokey is going to open the back door for you my dear." "Oh, okay." "Anyway," Smoker continued as he closed his suitcase and picked it up, "I'm off now, so don't dawdle on that surprise party now." "Give 'em hell, puddin', and don't you forget to do that thing Quan Chi wanted you to do there." "I won't." [---] "Now remember," Jae said as he and NEG walked down the moonlit street towards the offices of Violence Unlimited, "we don't have much money left, so be careful." NEG smiled as she goosed Jae, causing him to blush. "Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Poison always bluffs, Hugo always calls, Fuuma is surprisingly lucky and CJ always twitches his lip when he has a good hand." "Wish I'd known that. Man, I keep forgetting how much I suck at poker." "It's okay, between the two of us, I'm the brains, you're the brawn with great legs and a nice ass. Nowhere near as firm as that of Andy Bogard, but who is?" Jae was about to comment further on NEG's favorite television star, when they happened upon Battler Man at the bus stop. "Oh, hello New Chum," the hated crusader said. "Hello Battler Man," Jae replied, "What criminal scheme are you planning to thwart today?" "None, I'm taking part in The Contest." "Contest? What contest?" "The Contest, New Chum. The Greatest Contest In The World. The ultimate rumble between Good and Evil, held once every ten years on pay per view." Jae nodded slowly, wondering if the man before him had eaten a rather bad Battler-burrito. He did not have to wonder long. In a flash of light and a clap of thunder, a futuristic bus-like vehicle appeared into view before them, hovering a few inches off of the ground. "Now that's an entrance. I'll have to figure out how to install a time machine in the Battlermobile when I get back." The time bus door swung open, and the trio was greeted by the leonine face of Doctor Tym Brown, famous time-traveller and former host of the World Heros Fighting Federation before it got bought out by Kusanagi Enterprises. "Ah," he said, "you made it just in time, Battler Man. And you brought Kim Jae Hoon too, excellent." "Uh, yeah," Battler Man said as eyes shifted back and forth at the Doc's guess. "My keen crime fighting mind allowed me to... come up with a plan that would result in Jae being here with me when you arrived..." "Excuse me," Jae said, "But why am I so important?" "I've little time to tell you Jae," Dr. Brown replied, "But here's the short version. You are the hero who stands astride present and future, and thus you're invited to attend The World's Greatest Contest." "It'a big good versus evil thing, kid." Battler Man said, giving the really short version of the story. "If this involves defeating evil, how can I refuse?" "That's the spirit." Dr. Brown looked at NEG, who was about to board the bus. "Sorry, heroes and their coaches/sidekicks only." "I am Jae's sidekick and coach," Neg said, "I give him moral support and incentive to win. So pretty much anywhere he goes, I go." "I'm afraid she has a point guys," Jae said, "She's going to have to come along." "Well miss," Tym said, checking his watch, "that's a good enough explanation, so both of you kids get on board." The trio boarded the time machine, and moments later, It plunged back into the flow of time amidst a flash of light and a loud booming sound. Moments later, the area of space where the bus was rippled again, as a sphere of radiant energy appeared, out of which stepped a rather obese and unattractive man dressed in a green police uniform, his too small jacket barely fitting and in no way hiding his chest and the truly disturbing excess of chest hair that covered it. Looking about, he pulled from his side pocket a futuristic looking device, waved it through the air a few times and then spoke into it. "Personal log of Officer Gordon Koehan-Heidern. I have arrived in the past, at the rendezvous point of Kim Jae Hoon and the Time Bus, but from these readings I'm too late to make immediate contact, as Kim is now taking part in The Contest. I'm going to thus wait for him at the nearest all-you-can-eat buffet." Just then, the rolling cloud of dust and smoke caused by the running fight of Chang, Dio, Garuda, Vanilla Ice, The World, and Cream drifted past Gordon with no signs of slowing down. "Scratch that," Gordon said, "I'm gonna help out Pa." And with that, he leapt into the fray. [---] Aboard the Time Bus, Jae and NEG were quite surprised. They had boarded expecting rows of seats like any other bus, but instead it was as if they had walked into a truly ultramodern apartment lounge, complete with a working bar with android bartender. At the bar was Battler Man, who was ordering for himself a tall frosty mug of the fabled Wily Beer, and off to his left a cowboy with a wicked x-shaped scar on his face with a katana was trying to chat up a young blonde in a blue tube top and miniskirt made from some futuristic rubber. On the other side of the room a Superhero in white tights and blue cape was talking with some sort of floating jellyfish creature about the nature of heroism, but none of these interested Jae. What interested him was the Asian man in the white dobok with blue trim, who seemed just as surprised to see Jae as he was to see him. "Dad?" "Jae," the man asked, "Is that you?" "Yes," Jae replied, his voice quiet. "Father." Not saying anything further, Jae ran up and gave a hug to the past version of his father, Kim Kaphwan, Korea's Tae Kwan Do hero of Justice (TM). "It is good to see you, my son," Kim said as he patted his grown up son on the back. "I'm glad to see you turned out well." "Thanks, I owe it all to you and what you taught me." "I'm glad someone listened. After getting mauled in the Sultan of Slugs tournament I didn't think anyone would listen to my message." "What about Uncle Chang and Choi?" "Who?" "Wait..." Jae said with a blink, "To you, what year is this?" "December 27, 1993. I take it these Chang and Choi persons are in my future?" "Yeah. Let's just say they become your greatest assets in promoting Justice." "Thank you. You're right, I shouldn't just give up, the path to Justice is long and unforgiving, but a good heart and the spirit of hope will always guide the way." Jae nodded. "Anyway, this is NEG, My girlfriend." "Pleased to meet you sir," she said with a bow, "Jae's told me much about you." "A pleasure to meet you too, miss. You keep my son on the straight and narrow, now y'hear?" "I will, sir." Kim turned to Jae again, as he lead him about the rest of the room. "I suppose I should introduce you to the others then shouldn't I?" "That would be helpful, yes." Jae said as they approached the cowboy. Despite the scar he was quite handsome, his clothes a mix of the standard cowboy wear and the garb of a ninja. In fact, in that get-up, he looked pretty damn sexy. ...Not that I'd know or anything, I'm just the narrator. "Name's Zan, pardner," the man said, "Ultra sexy hero Rising Zan. The hottest gun and longest sword in the west." Jae nodded. "Kim Jae Hoon. I'm somewhat surprised to meet a samurai cowboy." "Shucks, ain't nothin'. I used ta just be a regl'r cowpoke, up until I got whaled on by some ninjas. Then some old guy finds me and teaches me all this bushido stuff. Now I fight fer justice west of the pecos." "I'm glad to see the old west is in good hands." "Yep." Zan gestured to the stunning blonde next to him. "I'm just glad she's on our side." "Oh," Jae said, having originally thought the woman was Zan's sidekick, "You are?" "Normally I'm Samus Aran," she said, "Federation peacekeeper, which in my time is a fancy word for bounty hunter. However, one day I met," she jerked her thumb at the floating creature, "That thing and my life got weirder from then on in." "How so?" Samus shuddered. "Since we're almost there, I may as well get into costume. I really hate this part..." Before Jae could inquire further, Samus thrust her arm up and shouted "Hunter Armor change! Make UP!" and was surrounded by glowing light as a titillating partially obscured naked transformation sequence took place. This of course drew the attention of the men in the room, except for Jae whose eyes were covered by NEG's hands. As the light faded, Samus now stood before them wearing an impressive red and gold battlesuit that completely obscured any trace of femininity. Well, it would have had there not been for the blue miniskirt and white fuku design on the torso. "I am Pretty Hunter Mighty Samus," she shouted in a sugary-sweet voice as she powerposed with her arm-cannon, "and in the name of the Federation, You...are...Busted, WAI!" At this point, the floating jellyfish creature spoke. "I am Metroid Bob. I'm her mentor and companion, teaching her to become the best Magical Hunter Girl in the universe. I'll be rooting from the sidelines." "I guess that leaves me," said the superhero as he took off his orange domino mask. "My name is Max Liberty, former ace fighter pilot for the United States Air Force. After I was shot down and crippled, I was approached by the government to be a test subject in a super-soldier experiment." "So you're like Captain America?" Battler Man asked. "Actually, after I was exposed to Atomic Energies, I gained powers more like that Superman character my nephews are so interested in. Now I fight as The American Sentinel, and help fight the war against the Nazis." "So," Zan said, "What's yer deal, Jae?" [---] Elsewhere in the timestream, Dr. Butler, designated gatherer of Team Evil this decade, was miffed. Aside from the fact that he looked like the Phantom of The Opera, he was behind schedule. "Smoker," he shouted, "You imbecile, you nearly destroyed us all. Never, ever touch this control console again, or I will see to it that you are stranded during the rise of the robots!" "I'll be good," Smoker said, as he took his seat in back. "Nonetheless," Butler continued as his time machine entered it's destination era, "we are back on course, and ready to pick up Team Evil's final member." The door to the machine swung open, and outside stood the bad guy's choice for villain astride present and future. "Welcome aboard," Dr. Butler said to the new arrival, "Rock Howard." Rock looked about nervously, but took his seat. But unnoticed to all in the machine save Smoker, the chronometer for this era was one year off... [---] Back in South Town, the fight cloud of the Chang/Dio/Garuda/Vanilla Ice/Gordon brawl continued unabated, and had somehow merged with the unending wrestling match between Ralf and Clark, who were fighting over what show to watch this time. "Gimme the damn glasses, and put some damn pants on!" "Make me, soldier boy!" "DESTROY!" "Hey, Uncle Clark!" Oh, and Angel was walking past, wearing Geese Howard's pants, and nothing else, her bare chest painted to make it look like she was wearing a top. The Fight kinda slowed down as she passed them. Across the street, J. P. Polnareff had a fatal nosebleed watching Angel. This concludes the update. [---] The representatives of Good looked about in awe of their surroundings, as sky wove intricate patterns of every color, cycling through the rainbow spectrum. They now stood upon a grand balcony of a colossal castle that seemed designed not only by the designers of every fortress known to man, but with the help of M. C. Escher and an engineer versed in non-Euclidean geometry. The only thing that detracted from this truly awe-inspiring sight was the camera crew that tracked their every move, each one wearing a blue shirt with the initials WGC on the front. "Gentlemen," came a booming voice from all around them, "welcome to Castle Mugen, the site of The World's Greatest Contest! But I doth believe thou wouldst rather prefer a host you can see." With a clap of thunder, a man appeared before them. He was rather unimpressive as extra-dimensional cosmic beings go, simply being a bald male humanoid with purple skin and glowing blue eyes, clad in white dogi and black hakama. But still, even just by looking at him, one got the impression of raw, godlike power. "This form should suffice. I am the Eternal Champion, and I am thy host for this tournament." It was then that on the other side of the balcony, across from the time bus, red lightning arced and the skull-like time machine of Dr. Butler phased into reality. As the time distortion ended, the machine's exit ramp opened and out came the Smoker, followed by Geese and Rock Howard, an 8 foot tall robot designed to look like a bald male humanoid, the machine precision of his movements only slightly less chilling than the heartless sneer on his face. Next came the vampire lord Dracula, still dressed in the finery of a European noble, not yet having chosen to take the pimp look he became famous for in the 1970's, and finally a man dressed in ancient partial armour of Nordic design, with a flowing red cloak clasped over one shoulder, and what was not covered by the armor was instead covered by glowing plates of stone that glowed like heated coals, as if under his skin flowed molten magma. "Kreuzritter?" Sentinel said as the final villain descended the ramp, "If he's here we're in for a real fight." "You know that polecat?" Zan asked. "Unfortunately, yes. He's Hitler's answer to me. I'm not exactly sure how yet but he does have mystic control over the elements themselves. We fought to a veritable standstill at Malta last month, and I doubt this time is going to be any easier." "That bad, huh?" "Yep. Now, exactly who's the other guy?" The armoured hunter waved her arms excitedly. "Samus-chan knows! That's Sigma. He's the biggest meaniehead bounty in the entire system, always out doing naughty things like destroying humanity and ripping tags off of mattresses." Jae, Kim and battler Man filled in what they knew of their respective enemies, before they were interrupted by the Eternal Champion. "Gentlemen," he said as he raised his arms in a welcoming gesture, "Heros and Villains, warriors of Past, Present and Future, I bid thee welcome to the World's Greatest Contest. Since time immemorial, the eternal struggle betwixt good and evil hath been waged here symbolically, over which side shall be granted fortune's slight favor, and determine the fate of the world over the next decade. In mere moments, thou shalt be set against each other to determine how the cosmic balance shall sway this time." Both sides glared at each other, sizing up their prospective opponents. "The first round will last for two hours or until a victor is declared. If a victor is not evident by that time I shall make my judgment to decide the winner. Some of thee may not face the challenge thou doth expect, but the way of life is to face the unexpected. Now, prove to me that each of thee has the heart of a champion, and LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!" There was a great flash of emerald light, and the contestants vanished, teleported to their respective arenas. "And of course," The Eternal Champion said to the camera crew, "A special thanks to those of you watching on Pay-Per-View in 2006." [---] Battler Man looked about. From all appearances he was in a rather seedy dockside bar. At the counter, American sailors were busy getting drunk and talking with cheap hookers, all the while accepting drinks from the Asian bartender. Looking up, there was a balcony tier, lined with similar patrons. To Battler Man's left, two twenty year old Girl Scouts were in a bare-knuckle brawl to the death. Not that anyone else was paying attention to them. "Holy crap," Battler Man said, "I'm in a major Hollywood movie!" "That's right, dork knight," Smoker said as he stood casually in the center of the room. "You and I are going to throw it down right here." Battler Man laughed. "Oh this is too easy. Everyone knows I always clean your clock until you get shot in the face." "True, but this time we'll be playing on a more level playing field..." It was then that Battler Man noticed that the floor was now covered in smoke, and that there were no tables in that region, as little square floor lights began to flash on and off randomly. Smoker tore at his jacket, tearing off his entire clothes, leaving him in a white polyester leisure suit, as the unmistakable beat of "Stayin' Alive" began to pulsate through the bar's stereo. "It's Disco Dance Dance Revolution tonight, and I'm the Disco King!" Smoker did the hustle as he laughed maniacly, until he paused to cough for a second. Battler Man, who never danced a day in his life, was in trouble. [---] Jae looked around. Near as he could tell, he was going to be fighting on an iceberg. Fortunately, his Tae Kwan Do training had included surviving hostile environments wearing only a dobok. Hs foe, Rock Howard, shivered a bit as he approached Jae. "Well Jae, looks like we're against each other," Rock said as he held out for a handshake in a sportsman like manner. What Rock did not expect was a sudden kick to the head from Jae. "I'm not falling for your tricks again," Jae said as Rock barely avoided the strike. "We're going to finish this once and for certain." "What the hell are you talking about, man?" Rock shouted back as he threw a Reppuken. [---] It was hot. That was the first thing that registered in Sentinel's mind. The second thing was that it looked like for all intents and purposes, he and Kreuzritter would be fighting it out in the pits of Hell. About them rose columns of flame and jagged pillars of rock that were as warped and deformed as melting wedges of cheese, which was unsurprising as all about them were pools and lakes of molten lava. "You must feel right at home here," He said to the Nazi supervillain, his expression grim. "Nein," Kreuzritter replied, "but it does provide me with sufficient ammunition" He pumped his fist back and down, as up above, one of the mountainous spires suddenly splintered and sent several tons of stone down towards the American hero, who responded by flying forward and punching Kreuzritter square in the jaw, sending the elemental ubermensch hurtling through several walls of stone before he was cushioned by a wall of wind he summoned. As Krezritter matched a tidal wave of molten rock against Sentinel's atomic vision, off in the distance a demonic cat spoke to the muscular Ratman standing over it in a b-movie bad guy British accent. "Hench-Rat," it said, "start gathering minions, I think we should be scalping tickets for this spectacle." Hench-Rat nodded. It was always fun working for Evil The Cat. [---] Zan, Ultra Sexy Hero of the Old West, looked at the humongous statue of the fat guy in glittering sequins. It was truly repulsive, a massive nightmare of clay and way too much free time. "Sheeeeeeeeeeee-it, that's the ugliest thing I've ever seen." "Actually," Geese Howard said as he approached, "It'll only be the second ugliest thing you've ever seen, once you look in a mirror after I'm done with you." "Now shucks, pardner," Zan said, "Y'ain't got no weapons, it ain't exactly a fair fight y'know." Geese smirked, then threw a Double Reppuken at Zan, landing the cowboy on his butt. "You're right," Geese laughed, "I should hold back on a weakling like you." Zan wiped the trickle of blood from the corner of his split lip. Sexily, of course, then stood and pointed his sword at Geese, his expression dark. "Nobody calls Ma Bogard's boy a wuss, 'specially not some pajama wearin' city slicker like yourself." Geese's eyebrow thrust upward, then returned to its regular scowl. "So you're Bogard's great grandfather, eh? When I kill you, give Jeff my apologies for preventing him from being born." [---] Mighty Samus readied her arm cannon, then dove out from behind the mainspring to launch five shots at Sigma, who parried them back at her with his light-saber, before leaping up into the higher gears of the clock tower, and taking a swipe that sent a shower of small energy bolts raining down about her head. "Waaaaaaaah!" she cried as she ran back and forth to avoid the shots, "No fair, you're not s'posed to have a spread attack! waaaah!" "Cease your crying! Fleshling, in all our battles together, your incessant whining has been the greatest bane to this unit's personality routines!" "Waaah! I wish Zero Mask were here to help me this time, I hate fighting alone." Deep within the mind of Mighty Samus, the bounty hunter known as Samus Aran cursed the schoolgirl persona that came whenever she transformed. She was tough as nails, the best of the best, and then came that talking Metroid and all this magical girl nonsense. In fact, the only thing good that came out of it was that mystery man, Zero Mask. Heck, she thought, if I were in control, instead of that bubblehead, this fight would be over. Of course, there is the problem of my reverting back to being without a gun or armor if I want to stay in control. Wait a minute... [---] Kim Kaphwan rolled with the impact of hitting the ground, having been tagged by one of Dracula's fireballs. The vampire lord had been dominating this entire match, teleporting away from Kim's kicks and then hitting him in the back with fireballs for the past hour and 45 minutes. Kim knew Dracula was toying with him, for all it would take to win would be to just blast him off of the bridge and down into the spike laden pit below. But to Dracula, death wasn't good enough for Kim. He wanted to break the Korean hero. Kim had just gotten to his feet when he felt Dracula's ice-cold fingers clutch about his throat. "I grow weary of this game, mortal," the vampire said, his expression bored yet expectant, like he were waiting for a bus. "Submit to me now, and perhaps I will show you the gift of my embrace. Castelvania is always hiring you know, especially with the tourist season just around the corner." "Stuck in hotel hell," Kim said through gritted teeth, "I'll pass. There's still fifteen minutes left, I can still win." Whatever Kim would have said next was silenced as Dracula threw him to the ground again. "You fool," he shouted, "I have beaten you senseless beyond what even a Belmont could take, and still you refuse to quit! I don't know whether to say you have iron resolve, a fool's head, or..." Dracula's voice trailed off and his eyes widened at the realization of what Kim was driving on. "...True Faith," he squeaked, as again Kim rose to his feet. "I believe in many things, vampire," Kim said, "But foremost I believe in my ability at Tae Kwan Do, for My skill has defeated those more powerful than I. I had a crisis of faith, but I believe in myself now, for I know now that I will succeed. But above all else, I believe in Justice, and how virtue will always triumph over evil, for it's always darkest before the dawn, and that where there is life, there is hope." Dracula was wincing now, stepping back from the now advancing Kim. "Y-you sound like a self-help book." "I do. That's because I believe that most evil can be reformed into good, no matter how tricky. But do you want to know what else I believe, Dracula?" Kim turned on his heel, his back to the vampire, yet somehow, Dracula knew Kim's teeth had given off a Sparkle. The vampire looked down, at saw that the hem of his cape had caught fire, and the flames were spreading. Looking up in panic, he met the accusatory gaze of Kim Kaphwan "Your Evil, cannot be forgiven!" Kim Shouted, as Dracula burst into flame. "Noooooo!" Dracula screamed as he tried to put the fire out, "I'm burning with goodness again!" Kim smiled. it was time to lay some smackdown. [---] Rock skidded along the ice after being kicked in the chin by Jae's Heinzan, and quickly scrambled to his feet, where he countered Jae's Shakka Shuu by striking him in the chest with a Hard Edge palm strike. However, as Jae was reeling he cartwheeled back and away, before twisting his direction and landing a crushing hangetsuzan that once again sent Rock down. "I guess we're playing for keeps," Rock spat out as he rolled out of the way of a stomp from Jae. Jae said nothing, refusing to tip his strategy to Rock. They'd been fighting for almost the entire round, their skills evenly matched. Both of them had given their all, and even a cursory glance would tell the tale. Not too far away, Rock's jacket continued to burn, while Jae's dobok was torn and hanging about his waist, revealing the bruises he'd taken from all of Rock's counter throws, and Rock glared back with his eye that wasn't swollen shut from several kicks to the head. The next few blows would decide the match, but the odds were still even. And thus, it all came down to a matter of timing, as Rock's hands began to glow with blue fire, and Jae's foot caught flame once more. "Hou'ou..." Jae said through gritted teeth as he began to run full-tilt at Rock. "Raging..." Rock whispered as he brought his hands up. "KYAKUUUUU!" Jae screamed, his feet flying up. "STOOOOORM!" Rock shouted as he slammed his hands into the ice. Jae was caught in a whirlwind that sent him flying. Rock flew back from being kicked in the chin again. After they landed painfully on the cold ice, they lay still for several seconds. Agonizing moments later, they began to crawl towards their feet, and approach each other again. That was when they heard the roaring thunder about them, and saw that the cliff face of the iceberg they had fought on was beginning to give way, threatening to plunge them both into the freezing waters below and certain death. Suffice to say, they both ran like all Hell was after them. All about them was the deafening roar of the collapse, their minds focused solely on the widening gap between the safety of the iceberg and the watery grave of the falling portion. Putting all their strength into one last push, they made the leap to safety. Jae landed hard, but rolled with the impact, and thus barely made the jump. Rock also made it, however barely, landing with a crouch close to the new cliff side. However stylish his landing was, it was all for naught as the section he stood on gave way under his weight. Barely managing to grab an outcropping, Rock hung from a single handhold like a battered piņata, and now his life rested in the hands of Jae, who stood overlooking Rock's precarious position. "Jae," Rock shouted, "Pull me up!" Jae was silent, staring down at his former friend. It would be all too easy just to watch as this cycle of vengeance finally draw to a close. "Help me, Jae!" "Do you submit?" Jae asked. "What!?" "Do you surrender, Rock?" Rock's eyes widened at Jae's words. "Surrender?" He shouted back. "Is winning this contest more important than your friend's life?" Jae stared back at Rock coldly. "You thought winning was more important than Choi's life." "What the hell are you talking about?" Rock wanted to shout back, but something more important came first. "Jae, I'm slipping!" "You have chosen to be evil. Enjoy what brief glory it brings you, Rock Howard, for I can never forgive you." Rock's gaze was pleading row, tears of stark terror running down his face. "I don't want to die, Jae, please, for the love of God help..." Rock screamed as he lost his grip. In the brief moment he hung in midair, he gave in completely to his fear, and blacked out momentarily from sheer panic. That's when he felt the sharp yank on his arm, almost dislocating it, and being pulled upwards, hitting the side of the iceberg before coming to a stop amidst the ice and snow. Rock, now realizing he'd shut his eye, opened it to see that he had been pulled to safety at the last second, with Jae standing over him, offering his hand to help Rock to his feet. Being the stylish lone wolf that he is, Rock did the most suave thing he could do. He got to his hands and knees and vomited up everything he'd eaten that day in addition to coughed up blood, his body finally reacting to the abuse it had been through. Also, Rock realized that in his blind panic, he'd both crapped and pissed his pants. "Rock," Jae said with all sincerity, "I'm sorry I had to do that. I had to reach whatever good there still is in you, show you the wrong you've committed." Rock, having ceased evacuating, looked up without any emotion. "you were going to let me fall..." "Rock, please, I..." Rock's eyes narrowed in anger. "You wanted to get at my good side by nearly killing ME?" "Please, Listen..." "No Jae." There was nothing on Rock's faced now but raw, undisguised hate. "I won't listen. You betrayed me. You've given me a shame that can never be lived down. I am not my father's son, but like him, I hate being helpless just as much as him. All my life I've heard what people say behind my back, that I'm nothing more than Geese Jr., and that deep down I'm just as evil and depraved as he was. I thought you were different Jae. I trusted you. Thanks for proving me wrong, and showing your true colours." Jae was dumbstruck. All the hate and venom in Rock's voice, it was the same as when they fought not long ago. A reckless youth, sworn to evil by the path of revenge. Revenge for a crime Jae didn't know about. "Because I hadn't done it yet..." Jae said under his breath. "You want me to quit, Jae?" Rock said with a cruel sneer. "Fine. I quit. I quit whatever friendship we've been pretending to have. But I will not quit until I've paid you back for this, even if it means becoming as heartless as my father!" [---] Elsewhere, Quan Chi smiled an evil smile. All was going as he had hoped. He'd finally gotten what he had sought. In his twisted glee, he stood up and shouted at the top of his lungs: "BINGO!" The prize money at the all-night bingo tournament was his at last. Oh yeah, he was pretty damn pleased as punch about his needlessly complex plan to have Jae turn Rock to evil and thus become despondent with guilt proceeding as he had planned. 1234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890 Well, as much as I wanted to condense this into a single chapter, I'm afraid I'm going to have to make this a two parter. Best of luck to whoever follows next, and I apologise to all PPV fans out there for not having witty yet annoying announcers. Special thanks goes to Benn Dunn, Creator of Ninja High School (the first true american manga), for writing the original storyline I have so ripped off to make this chapter.