"Goodbye, Dr. Doppler. Rest in peace." With those words, a piece of the ceiling fell from above. As he was being crushed to death, Doppler screamed, "You sick psychopath!" Megaman X led his team out of the exploding fortress. Meanwhile, the voice of Sigma boomed over the speakers. "I AM SIGMA! THE NEW WORLD ORDER! MY FUTURE IS NOW!" But luckily the four robots escaped the lair and found safety in a neighboring desert. While the two lesser robots relaxed in the sand, X and Zero argued about whose weapon was superior. It was probably the eighth time that day they had said argument. "So now you know, your way is antique, X." "No, you don't understand. You lack robot understanding." Meanwhile, Gutsman scoffed in the background. "Lack robot understanding? Hmph. All they do is blow things up into circles!" Iceman groaned. "Boy, you said it, Guts. I wish we could lose those two." "Impossible. They'll stick to us like Crash Bombs." "I guess you're right." After a moment of silence, an idea arose in their metal heads. The two scooted over and conspired. "Hey, Ice. There's only one thing left to do." "You mean...?" Zero and X continued to argue. Unbeknownst to them, Gutsman was looming behind them, carrying a giant boulder he found. High above, Iceman soared like a falcon, preparing his lungs for some ice spitting. The Maverick Hunters never knew what hit them. Well, they probably did figure it out, but at the time they were busy getting turned into scrap via being frozen and/or crushed. The fatal beatdown went on for quite a while, but soon Gutsman and Iceman were certain they had won. Covered in black oil that once belonged to X, Gutsman looked up into the sky and smiled. "We do that and we're free!" Gutsman said, waking up from a daydream. The two said together, "We can't do it, can we?!" Gutsman sighed. "Nope! We've gone soft. A century ago, we could've." "Yeah. We're actually becoming... nice!" "And X knows it, too! We've gone legitimate!" Iceman grinned. "This year, I haven't felt guilty about any--" *BOOM!* "Huh!?" *BOOM!* "X, what the hell?" "I need some powers. Don't look at me like that. You're just mad I thought of it first." [---] Megaman woke up with a loud gasp. "I had that dream again!" "Shh..." his sister said in his arms. "I can make it better." Megaman smiled. "With or without the helmet?" [---] "Hey, honey, my stock went up," J. Carn said while reading the paper. In the kitchen, Rose commented, "That's nice... dear." Truth be told, Rose was finally getting used to the weirdness that was being forcefully married to J. Carn. Maybe it had to do with his stooge quitting to join some commando group where he was quickly killed. But she was finally getting used to this odd lifestyle. "Honey, do you hear someone knocking at the door?" "Sounds more like scratching. Let me get it." J. Carn went back to his newspaper. "I don't care what people say. I like Hillary Clinton." "EEEEEEEEEEEK!" Rose screamed as she ran past her husband and went up stairs. "Is the roast burning?" Carn looked to his side, then looked up a little to see Brad Vickers and quite a few zombies staring him down with their hands out. "Oh my God." Rose ran into her room and locked the door. Besides the many utterings of "Brains," she heard the screams of J. Carn, followed by his hungry moan. Time was running out. Rose wanted to kick herself for going into a room with nothing more than a couple small windows. She wouldn't fit in them. She knew that from experience. An undead hand broke through the wooden door. The rest of the zombie, along with his peers, followed. Rose backed into a corner, seeing Brad Vickers, J. Carn and a host of others coming for her brains. Her Soul Power would only be able to fend off a couple. She knew she was done for. But then she heard the sound of chopping. From the far corner of the room, she saw a man charge through the doorway and decapitate as many zombies as possible. This man, dressed in beads and an odd red and yellow outfit, which included a skirt, hopped in front of Rose and stood before the zombie horde. His giant sword floated behind his back. Donovan Baine looked around at the undead monsters through his black sunglasses. "You..." More zombies broke through the wall. "...obviously..." Even more climbed through the window, succeeding where Rose had failed. "...do not know..." The dozens of brain-hungry creatures advanced. "...WHO YOU ARE FUCKING WITH!" Donovan grabbed his sword by the handle. Insert techno music here. [---] FORGOT ABOUT JAE Chapter 27: Blood From a Rock Story put up for adoption by Shelby Scott, The Darkheart One Chapter prank called by Gavin "Gavok" Jasper [---] Last time on Forgot About Jae: - C.C. Bounge went to go avenge his pop. - Kain revealed the truth about Rock Howard. - The Fire Tax was implemented. - The wrong Kyo was kidnapped. - Strider Hiryu wore a crown shaped as a cheeseburger. - I'm not kidding. A cheeseburger. - Garuda likes working solo. - Kim's son is going to reform Choi's son. Nothing changes cause it's all the same. The world you get's the one you give away. It all just happens again way down the line. [---] Kyo was surrounded by his bodyguards. With Shang Tsung, Goro, Scorpion and Armor King looking on, Kyo pulled out a large sack from under his desk. On it was the clichT dollar sign. "It's that time again," he spat. "All right!" Scorpion said out loud. "Pay day!" Kyo pulled out a pile of bankrolls, each worth two thousand dollars. "Okay, one for each of you." He handed one to Shang Tsung. "One for you." He handed one to Goro. "One for you." He handed one to Scorpion. "One for you." He handed one to Armor King. "One for you." As he went to put the sack of cash away, he saw Alucard standing in front of him. "What about me, boss?" "One for you." Standing in Alucard's spot was now Q*Bert. "What about me, boss?" "Oh, right. One for you." Zack then asked, "What about me, boss?" "And one for you." Maximo cleared his throat. "And me, boss?" "One for you." Shang Tsung, with lots and lots of cash in his hands, walked out the door. "I'll see you later, Kusanagi. I have to meet my old partner for lunch." "Yeah, sure. Go to town." Kyo watched Shang leave. He put his hands behind his head and relaxed. About a minute later... "Hey, wait a minute!" [---] The thin rain came down upon the face of Kim Kaphwan, his polished smile (the one where the light goes *ting* off his teeth) obscured slightly by the clouds, his posture still heroic, reminding all that the best life was a life of justice where you'd eat your vegetables, say your prayers, and take your vitamins. Beside him stood the diminutive figure of Choi Bounge, criminal turned hero, striking the pose of victory with his claws ready to shred evil to ribbons (the one where he goes *ping*). Jae looked at the two statues with NEG and a reluctant C.C. Bounge beside him. It turned out Jae wasn't half the reformer his father was. Bringing a claw-wearer to a petting zoo probably hurt more than it helped. So he hoped paying his respects to their fathers would help out. "I don't need your help, Jae," the badass skinny guy said. "The heck you don't. You can't just go around slicing anyone you think may have killed your dad." "I'm going to get revenge, Jae. I'm going to get revenge, and neither of you can stop me. Even if I have to tear apart everybody in South Town, I will bring vengeance for the perpetrator." "I can't let you do that, C.C. It just wouldn't be prudent." "Besides," NEG said, "we know that Rock Howard is the guy who killed Choi." "What?!" "Oh. You didn't know?" "Then I'm off. Later, Jae and... whatever your name is." "Oh no you don't!" Jae said with a kick at C.C.'s head. It was blocked. C.C., fast as lightning, put his middle talon half and inch from Jae's throat. "Kick me once, shame on me. Kick me twice, blood on you." Jae stayed silent. "I'm going to carve up that sick son of a bitch. And you won't stop me, coward." Jae's look of shock became anger. "Coward?" "Our fathers have been murdered. But I'm the only one with the balls to do something about it. You're just a little wuss." C.C. shoved Jae away and stalked off in disgust. "Chong! Get back here!" Jae yelled. "Leave him be," Elias said ten feet away, his hands behind his back. Nobody knew just how long he had been there. "It is his path of justice to choose." "Hey, Elias," Jae and NEG said in unison. "Hello, my friends." Elias looked up into the sky. Rain trickled down his face. He jerked his head back down and stared at Jae. "A storm is brewing." "The rain doesn't seem that bad," Jae responded. "I don't mean the rain." "Huh?" "Friendship can go a long way, lad. Remember that." "What are you talking about?" NEG asked. "You're a good fighter, Jae. But not the best. Every enemy has a weakness. Exploit this weakness and you will see your next challenge." Jae was staring in the direction Chong walked. "Enemies? Weaknesses? What does this have to do with anyth--" Jae turned to see Elias was missing. "He's gone." NEG commented, "What a weird guy." She then saw a figure running towards them from afar. "Hey, somebody's coming." "Oh, it's the Driver. I wonder what he wants." The quiet man stopped before the couple and gestured. "CJ wants to see me?" Driver nodded. Then he pointed his thumb over his shoulder. "And you're going to give us a ride?" He nodded again. "Well, let's go. I guess it probably is time I get back to work." [---] Stone relaxed in the first class section of the airplane. He had the aisle seat. All the way to his left, Sakura sat by the window. The seat between them was empty. "We should be landing in Ecuador in a couple hours," Stone assured. "That's good. Too bad Rock couldn't be here." "Yeah. But it was his fault for not allowing his hat, shoes and stuff to get checked." Sakura shrugged and put her headphones back on. As the plane made its way to Ecuador at an amazing speed, two figures stood on top of its roof, not budging from nature's powerful winds. One was Rock Howard. He was wearing his nearly finished outfit. Geese Howard's pants, Wolfgang Krauser's body armor, May Lee's belt and cape, Sakura's panties (which he has been wearing for a long while without changing. Ew.), Amingo's sombrero, Casey Jones' hockey mask, Blanka's anklets, Choi Bounge's talon gloves and Bonker the Clown's long, red shoes. There were only two things left on the list. One was Ryu's headband, hence the trip to Ecuador. The other was the Glasses of G'vock. Rock had no idea who this G'vock character was. Every time he looked him up on Google, he just got tons of sites about German volleyball. Behind Rock was Oro, a shriveled, homely, old man in rags. He growled in annoyance. "Darn these in-flight magazines! I already read this one! I'm gonna go see if anyone on the plane has another one." Oro hopped onto the wing and knocked on the window. William Shatner looked out his window. He sighed. "Not... again." [---] "WELCOME THIS KIN KORN KARN SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" The audience applauded the appearance of the professional wrestler- turned talkshow host. "Kin Korn Karn Show! We have a great show! Say hello to the house band of the Kin Korn Karn Show! Starman and the Boston Crabs!" The pink-clad luchadore waved back at the host. "Very good to be here, Senor Karn!" Kin Korn Karn smiled and nodded. "Your music is peppy! BUT! It does not have!" The crowed erupted with a cheer of, "MONGOLIAN CHOP!" An instant later, Karn answered with, "A TUBA! THIS IS NOT SING ALONG WITH KIN KORN KARN!" "Heh heh. You are too much, Senor Karn!" "The Boston Crabs! That is your band's name!" "Si!" "There are many crabs in this Boston?" "No." "Just say yes!" "No!" "FOR THE SAKE OF COMEDY SAY YES!" "Si." "Well then... I forgot punchline. KARATE KICK!" The crowed roared with laughter. Karn bowed to the audience. "Here at Kin Karn Show, we get many guests! Sometimes we get them to reveal secrets about their lives! Amazing secrets! We have footage of a guest talking about his past right now! ENJOY OR I WILL PILEDRIVE YOU!" [---] SCORPION! Seeeeeeeeeeecrets. Scorpion, the ninja, sat behind a table in a small, dark room. He stared at the camera with his pupil-lacking eyes, holding a cigarette in one hand and a glass of liquor in the other. He seemed a little nervous. "People always ask me about how I can talk, considering I lack lips and a tongue. In response I ask why they drive on a parkway but park on a driveway. That seems to shut them up." Seeeeeeeeeeecrets. "A lot of people wonder how many Sub-Zeros are out there. There are actually three. The youngest is the one with the scar on his eye. The middle is the one who killed me and I killed in return. The oldest one changed his name to John Ratzenberger and got a job as a mail- delivering drunk on a popular sitcom." Seeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "Ermac is legally retarded. Not many people know that." Seeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "There are a lot of similarities between my past and Spawn's. The main difference is that I don't wear a cape. And also, I have never played for the New York Knicks." Seeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "I admit it. I lost a popularity contest to Link the elf. But the real reason I lost was because of a disqualification for wearing a thong in the swimsuit competition." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "'Get over here' was suggested by Reptile. My original battle cry was, 'I am feeling fat and sassy.' Looking back, Reptile probably had a better idea." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "I wouldn't keep leaving Hell if they'd just let me keep my Hello Kitty posters up." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "Everyone assumes that my name is Scorpion because my spear symbolizes the scorpion's tail in the way it strikes. That's a lie. I'm really just a big fan of 80's rock." SCORPION! Seeeeeeeeeeeecrets. [---] The Driver's drive to Violence Unlimited's HQ was pretty uneventful. That was, until he stopped at a red light. He had the Statler Brothers playing as he waited for it to change. If he was not so silent, he would have sung along. That's when a man who looked just like the Driver, only with a face that appeared like he was horribly constipated, walked by with a cup of coffee in his hands. He stopped halfway and saw his arch nemesis, the Driver, behind the wheel. "Well I'll be damned," Max Payne said without actually moving his face. Something told Jae and NEG that it would be a good idea to step out of the car. And so they did. Driver floored it and ran into Max. He went too far into the intersection and started a huge five-car pile-up. From the crash, one car flew into the air and landed on top Takuma Sakazaki, who was merely walking down the street, minding his own business. Upon getting crushed by the car, Takuma crawled out from under it, dusted himself off, and continued his stroll. Jae and NEG decided that they'd just walk the rest of the way. A block away, another battle was about to begin. Nightmare, the evil alter ego of Siegfried, laid waste to anybody that came in his way. Most people were smart enough to run away, considering Nightmare's sword, the Soul Edge, was about as big as he was. But among the people running for their lives, another swordsman waded through them and faced Nightmare's direction. Nightmare quickly became aware of this mortal. He was a young man of Egyptian descent with a ponytail and bland clothing. The glazed over look in his eyes told Nightmare that this guy wasn't all there. "Who are you?" Nightmare grunted. "My name is Chaka. And with this katana I will slice you." Above Chaka, the image of a jackal appeared and cackled. The power of the Soul Edge allowed Nightmare to see this Stand. "Your puny needle will fall to my ultimate blade!" With that, Nightmare charged with a loud battle cry and sent his Soul Edge downward in a swipe that would cut a bus in half like a hot knife through butter. Instead it was easily parried by the Anubis Blade and countered with a swift upward slice. When Nightmare got up, he noticed that his chest plate wasn't scratched in the least, but he was still cut open underneath it. With Chaka nearing, Nightmare surprised him with a baseball swing of his mighty sword, which propelled him through a window. Chaka climbed out and smiled. "Idiot! Now I have memorized that attack! You can never hurt me with it ever again!" Nightmare held his sword in front of him, drawing in all the nearby light. The area around him began to darken. "There is more than one way to skin a cat." You know, there's a lot to be said about mixing magics. Lots of unseen events can occur from it. There's a reason I mention this. Chaka and Nightmare rushed each other, swinging their respective swords at the same time. The two collided and reacted in an odd way. The magic of the Anubis Stand and the magic of Inferno's evil power merged together, creating an explosion of light. Both Siegfried and Chaka flew back, swordless. Chaka came to first. Without the Anubis Sword in his hands, his mind was free. He took off in fear of holding the blade once again. Siegfried, without his Nightmare helmet, woke a moment later. In front of him, the Anubis Edge was stabbing into the ground. The reaction of the swords clashing created a large katana with an eyeball on the side and some weird pink vein things on it. His soul was still tainted and he was too curious to pass up such an opportunity. He stood up, pulled the sword out of the ground, and held it high. Now, when somebody picks up the Soul Edge, they are soon corrupted by its true evil. And when somebody picks up the Anubis Blade, they are immediately under the control of the living Stand Anubis and are given an uncontrollable addiction to slicing flesh. For Siegfried, it was something worse. He slowly lifted his head up. His appearance had changed. He gave a wide smile while his cheeks became increasingly red. With the Anubis Edge in his hand, he began to do a ragtime dance and sang... o/~ I love to sing-ah! About the moon-ah and the June-ah and the spring-ah! I love to sing-ah! About a sky so blue-ah and a tea for two-ah, anything with a swing-ah to an "I love you"-ah! I love to, I love to SIIIING! o/~ Siegfried immediately tossed the sword away and ran for dear life. "What have I unleashed!?" [---] Shang Tsung entered the Conker CafT and was right away waved at by a man near the back of the room. He walked over and sat across from a bald albino man with black lines going down his eyes. It was Quan Chi, Shang's old partner in the Deadly Alliance. "Good to see you're well, Shang." "Likewise, my friend." "I hear you are working with Kyo Kusanagi." Shang narrowed his eyes. "Perhaps." "How the mighty have fallen, I see." "I'll have you know, I'm working for somebody higher than a mere mortal." "Kahn?" "Of course not. I'm not going to play second banana to some entertainer. I would say my master makes Kahn look like a clown, but it's a bit too late for that, is it not?" Quan smiled. "I see you've been plotting. I have my own plot to worry about." The waitress came by to take Shang's order. He quickly asked for a coffee as black as the night sky and went back to his discussion. "Your own plot? Still working for Shinnok?" "No, not this time." "Then whom are you working for?" "This time I work with no one. I'm sure you remember my business with the Sub-Zero brothers and Scorpion all those years ago." Shang nodded. "Indeed. You tricked them into hating each other in order to obtain your goals. Too bad it failed horribly." "Yes, a shame. But if at first you don't succeed..." Quan took a sip of his hot chocolate. "This time I won't fail. I know of two young heroes with the ability to foil my plans when push comes to shove. Using my power I have turned them against each other. One is already too far into the darkness to be helped. The other is on his way to evil. Their hatred will soon devour each other and I will be free of two loose ends." "Loose ends?" a devilish smile went across Shang Tsung's face. "What are you up to, Quan Chi?" Quan Chi looked at him straight faced. "I don't have any evil plans." The two of them chuckled. Meanwhile, on the other side of the cafT, Chang Koehan was on a date with his on-again-off-again girlfriend Leona. The date seemed to be going smoothly until Leona felt the need to tell Chang about something. "..." "Yeah, heh, I remember that night. That was one well deserved heart attack, if you don't mind me saying." Leona continued to glare. "..." Chang lifted his left eyebrow. "...What do you mean you haven't 'Blood Rioted' in two months?" "..." Chang's pupils dilated. "What?! Are you sure it's mine?" "..." Chang took a deep breath and looked relaxed. "I'm going to be a father. Well, all right, then. Heart attack in 3... 2... ACK!" he fell off his chair on onto his back. Leona calmly walked over and started punching him in the chest. A seat away, Ken Masters spat out his cappuccino. "Oh, God! That's not the image I needed today. Check please!" [---] On the streets of South Town, a great chase had continued. A mainly- black blur zoomed past the pedestrians, trying its hardest to elude its pursuer. The figure finally paused in mid air. Text appeared underneath. KIM DONG HWAN (Electrodus Lazius) He continued speeding, hoping the blue blur wouldn't catch him. The chaser also paused in mid air. GARUDA (Stalkus Pointius) Dong wished Doom was still with him. But as much as Dong looked up to the evil genius, he was not going to follow him to see the Mel Gibson movie, "We Were Doombots" for the third time in a week. And with his luck, it didn't take long for Garuda to find him. Far in front of him, Dong saw a giant mousetrap with a sign saying, "GOOD FOR CATCHING PERSISTENT ONI!" Inspiration struck. "I know now what I must do!" Dong reached into a pocket and pulled out a felt tip pen. He began to scribble onto his hands while still dodging the other pedestrians. Finally, Dong stopped a good five feet away from the mousetrap and sat down. "'Gee, it sure is a good day!'" Dong's cross-eyed left hand lip- synched. "'You can say that again!'" the angry-eyed right hand lip-synched. "'Gee, it sure is a good day!'" Garuda almost smiled. It was too easy. Like killing ducks with a barrel. And to make matters better, Garuda saw a sword lying in front of him. Despite looking enough like Bishamon, It picked up the sword and made Its way over to Dong's direction. That's when It started dancing uncontrollably. o/~ I love to sing-ah! About the moon-ah and the June-ah and the spring-ah! I love to sing-ah! About a sky so blue-ah and a tea for two-ah, anything with a swing-ah to an "I love you"-ah! I love to, I love to SIIIING! o/~ Garuda forced the sword out of Its hand and stepped away. It would just kill Dong with It's own bare hands like usual. Dammit, the kid was gone. Garuda snarled at the turn of events. There was nothing that could make It more pissed off. *SNAP!* Except for stepping in a giant mousetrap. "Shit." [---] Behind his desk, Cracker Jack rubbed his chin and listened to Jae's plea for help. When finished, CJ cleared his throat. "Okay, let me get this straight. The punk kid of dead man Geese Howard has been putting together the Armor of Mars in order to kick your ass for some reason not even you understand..." "Right." "And you want me and the rest of Violence Unlimited to help you stop him because he's much more than a mere human can handle." "Yes." "And why would we do that, again?" "Friendship?" CJ started pounding on the desk with laughter. "Ha ha! That's rich! Thanks, Jae! I needed the laugh." "No, sir. I'm serious." CJ frowned. "Jae, we're Violence Unlimited. We're not the Make a Wish Foundation. Go find some other marks to bring with you on your little adventure. I, on the other hand, am going to wait for some actual business to pick up. Now get out of here." Jae sighed, shook his head and turned to the door. After two steps, inspiration struck. He walked back to the desk and slammed his hand onto it while pointing at CJ. "I'll hire you, then." "What!?" CJ and NEG exclaimed. "That's right. I, Kim Jae Hoon, am hiring Violence Unlimited to help me defeat Rock Howard." CJ smirked. "You can't be serious, kid." "I am serious. Take it out of my paycheck; I don't care. But I'm willing to do what it takes to win this." "Well, Jae, I..." "What, is my money not good here?!" "The thing is..." "Are you afraid? Is that it?" CJ grumbled. "Fine! You have yourself a deal. Me and the guys will help you take care of your little problem." "Good." The two shook hands. "Say," CJ began, "where's the Driver at?" Jae smacked himself in the head. "I forgot all about him!" [---] The Driver and Max Payne woke up inside a dark basement inside some kind of strange shop. They instantly realized they were both tied to chairs and silenced with ball gags. Max still looked constipated. With Morrigan in the background, Lilith sat on a backwards chair and pointed back and forth. "...My. Mother. Says. To. Pick. The. Very. Best. One. And. You. Are... IT." The Driver realized her finger was pointing in his direction. "So he's first," Morrigan said. "I'll go set up the chains in the other room and ready the Vaseline." "Got it!" Lilith said. She grabbed the Driver's chair from behind and started to drag him into the next room. Then another door smashed open thanks to a baseball bat. "Driver!" Cracker Jack yelled. "Quit fooling around! We've got work to do!" The Driver gave him a sad puppy dog look. This was kind of creepy considering the ball gag. "Now!" The Driver untied himself, removed the gag and walked up the stairs with his head down. "I guess that just leaves me," Max Payne said clearly, despite his mouth full. Lilith looked him up and down. "Do you need to use the bathroom first? You don't look so good." [---] Dan relaxed on the top bunk bed. "Hey, Ryu." "Yes?" "Ever notice that our prison uniforms are the exact same outfits as the ones we would regularly wear? I know Ecuador is nutty, but it strikes me as odd that they would have their prisoners wear karate gis in various colors, while certain prisoners have to wear black undershirts." "I don't see what's so odd about that, Dan. The colors of the gi are enamored with the smell of popcorn and luck." "Cripes. I can't wait to be rid of you." "I'm afraid that won't be for a while. First your followers have to find out what a zenny is, and then they have to raise a million of them. That's the only way out of he-- did you hear that?" There was a loud smashing noise outside the cell. "Hey, you can't go in there-- ACK! My nipple!" Dan and Ryu hopped off their beds and looked out the bars. "Stand back," Rock Howard told them. The prisoners complied. With a grab and a jiggle, Rock broke the jail door off completely. "That's better." "Who the hell are you?" Dan asked in amazement. "And what do you want with us?" "My name is Rock Howard." "You mean you're the son of..." "Geese Howard? Yes." Dan looked sheepish. "I was going to say Shemp Howard, but Geese's son is more impressive I guess." "I'm not here for you, Hibiki. But I'm more than happy to set you free and reunite you with your cult." "Thanks." "Don't mention it. As for you, Ryu, I've come for your headband." "...My headband?" "Good, you're not deaf. Hand it over." "You came all the way to Ecuador just for a headband?" Ryu put his fists up. "The challenge comes from the place of the many berries, I guess." Rock looked to Dan. "What did he say?" "I think he wants to fight you." "I'd love to smash your face in," Rock said. "But I promised to keep you in one piece for somebody else." Ryu narrowed his eyes. "Somebody else?" "RYU-CHAN!" reached his ears. "Oh no. No!" Ryu tried running away. Somehow Dan stood completely still during this while Ryu ran in place. Then he was glomped by Sakura Kasugano. "WAI!" "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" Sakura grabbed the red headband off Ryu's head. "Yoink!" Then she tossed it to Rock who tied it over his hockey mask. "Well, that's all nice," Dan said. "But can you do something about these chains? I've been stuck with this joke for two years!" "Not a problem." Rock grabbed the chains and snapped them without effort. "Yeah!" Stone said confidently as he entered the cell. "Rock here can bite chains and spit out nails, man! And he eats tires instead of licorice!" Rock snickered. "Heh, no I don't." "Well I would if I was you." "Come on, guys," Rock said. "We're going back to South Town. All I need are those glasses and I will be unbeatable." "Glasses?" Dan repeated. "You wouldn't happen to be talking about the Glasses of G'vock, would you?" "Yeah," Stone informed him. "The Glasses of G'vock. Rock needs them, but none of us have a clue where to find them. How the hell do you know about them?" "I *created* them!" Rock blinked. "Are you kidding me?" "Of course not. I'm a god, aren't I?" Long pause. "Well, aren't I?" Sakura stopped crushing Ryu with her hug long enough to ask, "Then what does G'vock mean?" Dan shrugged. "I'm just a big fan of German volleyball. Listen, there'll be time for explanations later. Let's just get on our way, kids." Rock put his arm around Dan Hibiki's shoulder as they walked down the hall. "Daniel, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship." [---] "Uh huh. Kidnapped, right. Guys called the Firebrands. Right. What did you say the leader's name was? Abdul? Okay. Uh huh. Did you try morphing back to-- oh, and that still didn't convince them? Yeah, I have a piece of paper. Uh huh. Is that by the bowling alley? Right. Yes, I'm still naked. Well, I've been waiting for you, you big dummy! No, Raptor and I-no aren't back yet. Don't worry; I have it all taken care of. Bye baby. I'll be there soon." *click* It was a good thing Clay9999 could turn his hand into a cell phone. At that point, Angel was his only hope, even if she wouldn't leave the house. "Hey, Angel," I-no said, entering the kitchen. "Hey, I-no." "Angel, why are you--" "--So in shape? I eat right and exercise daily." "No, I mean why are you naked? Is it laundry day again?" "Oh, right. That. It's a long story. Say, where's Raptor?" "He had a prior engagement." [---] "Welcome back to the Brock Group! For those of you just joining us, we are Venom and the topic today is: Brains vs. Souls. Which is more fun to eat?" "Oy!" Raptor oyed. "It's gotta be the brains. Souls are like rice cakes. They may be good for ya, but there's just no flavor!" "Good point. What do you think, Shao Kahn?" "IS THAT YOUR BEST?" "We see you like souls better, Mr. Kahn. What about you, Sodom?" Sodom yelled something in Japanese that translated to, "Cardboard bakes the eagle drink! Pine scent!" "Interesting. Personally, we make no secret about loving to eat brains. Just earlier, we chowed down on Rayden's brain backstage." "Whoa!" Raptor exclaimed. "You ate a guest's brain?" "Well, just part of it. A nibble. The part that tells him how to stop--" "DUCK!" Kahn yelled. Rayden torpedoed into Venom and pushed them off screen. "DORITOS AWAAAAAAAAAY!!" "Go to commercial!" [---] "Oh," responded Angel. "Say, I found this package by the door. It has your name on it." Angel snatched the two-by-four-shaped package out of I-no's hands. "It's here!" She opened up the package to find a packet of spirit gum and three long, black bars with "CENSORED" written across them in stencil. "Can you be a doll and help me put these on? I have to go help out Clay." [---] Lucky rubbed his head. "GRRR?" "I just got that feeling again that leaving the Mean Street Posse was a bad idea." [---] BOGARD! Seeeeeeeeeeecrets. Terry Bogard sat behind the desk that Scorpion occupied earlier. Like Scorpion, Terry held a cigarette, and a glass of something alcoholic. He too looked really nervous. "When we were kids, I accidentally beaned Andy in the head with a basketball. He received a concussion. It traumatized him and he gets uneasy when he's near bouncing round things. Poor guy." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "When I killed Geese Howard, I pretended that I was Garfield, Geese was Odie, and Geese Tower was a big table. It was fun to pretend." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "There have been a lot of bad things said about Joe Higashi. He's been called arrogant, conceited, a horse's ass. But the truth of the matter is, Joe Higashi is an arrogant, conceited horse's ass. Sorry, Joe." Seeeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "I wrote the original screenplay for the first Fatal Fury Movie. The finished product was only 45 minutes long. That's because they took out my 45-minute tap dancing segment. The bastards." Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "In 1994, me, Andy and Joe were called Team Italy, despite none of us actually being from Italy. Let me set the records straight: I *really* love pizza." Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "I don't ask people 'Are you okay?' I ask them, 'Are you Opie?' Because after Geese, Ron is the Howard I hate the most." Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "I've been in many fights in my life. And people often wonder who my strongest opponent was. Geese? Krauser? Kyo? None of them. My greatest opponent hands down... is hat hair." BOGARD! Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. [---] Donovan Baine quietly walked into his home in a dimly lit garage in parts unknown. His peculiar outfit was covered with zombie guts and he was in need of cleaning his sword. Under his arm he carried a television set that he stole from J. Carn's house after he saved Rose. "Busy day?" an old, grizzled voice said from elsewhere in the garage. Donovan looked to his right and saw his mentor, Joseph Joestar, playing computer solitaire. "You can say that. I took out the zombies we saw on the news. But I'm sure it isn't over. There's something out there creating these zombies and we need to destroy it." "Hence the TV?" Joseph asked. "Exactly. So if you'll do the honors, old man." While Donovan plugged the TV in, Joseph called out his Stand, the Hermit Purple, and attached it to the set. The television turned on and instantaneously went under the spell of Joseph's purple vines. The channels began to change at random at a rapid speed. Soon the voices on the channels began to spell out a message. "Meg!" "a man." "ex--" "is the" "Cos--" "of" "the zombies!" "mega--" "Man," "X!" "Meg," "A)" "man" "Ex--" "cursed" "by" "Doctor" "while" "--y" "doc--" "--ter" "While" "E!" The channel then changed to show a flashback of Megaman X confronting Dr. Wily and getting infected. "Ha-HA!" laughed Wily on the TV. "That gas will alter your main memory banks, causing you to be driven to feed off the flesh of humanoids to survive! Bwahahahahahahahaha!" X began coughing and hacking again. "Seriously?" he choked out. Watching the television smoke, Donovan grabbed Joseph by the back collar and pulled him out of the way right before the television exploded. The two composed themselves and looked at the broken television. "Don't worry," Donovan said. "The guy I stole it from is dead anyway." "So a robot created a bunch of zombies. Huh. What do you suppose we do?" Donovan cleaned the goo off his sword with a cloth. "It started with Megaman X and it will end with Megaman X. He and that mad scientist are going down." [---] Several blocks away from Violence Unlimited Headquarters, Ralf and Clark walked on their way home. "Those were some nice beers," Ralf commented. "Yes. Nice, manly beers." "Did Leona tell you the news?" "Yeah," Clark responded. "Pregnant. Christ." "Did she say what she's going to name it yet?" "I think she said something about calling him 'Gordon'. But what really gets me is the dad." Ralf shuddered. "Yeah. It just doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, we're two fairly good looking guys, right?" "I'd say so. But you should probably shave once and a while." "Right. And instead of having her pick of two handsome muscle men, she picks a fat, ugly, hairy, aging freak who's prone to heart attacks." "Sucks, doesn't it. At least we still have a chance with Whip." Ralf sighed. "I don't know about that. Yesterday I saw her carving a sculpture out of her earwax of that brain-dead red ninja guy from Violence Unlimited." "...Maybe it's our breath." "Out of the way!" a floating Rock Howard said as he shoved Clark aside and moved towards Violence Unlimited HQ. This pissed off Ralf who tried to hit him from behind. Rock caught his fist and tossed him into a brick wall. "I love melting army men." [---] "Guys! Guys!" Fuuma yelped while holding up his binoculars and looking out the window. "A guy in an overly elaborate costume, a guy with a visor and a schoolgirl in a pink outfit are outside!" "Is that it?" CJ asked while getting his bat ready. "No!" Fuuma looked in a different direction. "Angel is walking around wearing three strategically placed black bars!" CJ shook his head. "And it couldn't have come at a worse time. Okay, guys. Let's go!" [---] Rock dropped Clark's body and finally moved on. If he didn't float he would have probably stepped on Clark's discarded shades. Unfortunately for Rock, he didn't notice that they were THE glasses. He floated in the direction of Violence Unlimited with the full intent on reducing it to ashes, whether or not Jae was in there. He was slightly surprised to see a small army there waiting for him. Cracker Jack, Poison, Hugo Andore, Fuuma, the Driver, Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend and Kim Jae Hoon. All of them ready to take care of Rock and his two helpers. CJ stepped up and pointed at Rock. Then he pointed above Rock as to illustrate where he planned to send him. "Those are some nice clothes, kid. Too bad I'm going to ruin your deposit." [---] Angel knocked on the charred door that served as an entrance to the Firebrand's hideout. Cinder looked through the slot, saw Angel, and then proceeded to leak lighter fluid out of where his nose would be. "What do you want?" "Hi, I hear you guys are a team of fire users and you're hiring. I was kinda wondering if I could join." "You have fire powers?" "Uh... sure!" Cinder noted her attire. "Why are you dressed like that?" Angel blushed. "I keep burning my clothes off." Angel heard Cinder scribbling something from behind the door. He opened the door and handed Angel a note. "Listen, I know this guy named Gill who has the same problem. This is where he buys his clothes. They sell flame-retardant underwear the--" *thwap* I-no smashed Cinder from behind with her guitar. She and Angel nodded to each other and ran inside. Cinder groaned. "Ugh. Times like this I wish I had genitalia." Inside the building, Abdul slapped Clay9999 around the room in anger. In the background were Pyron and a floating fireball with sunglasses on known as Fry Guy. "Take this, Kusanagi!" he yelled while throwing him into the wall. "I... told you. I'm not... Kusanagi!" "You can't fool me! I know you like to change your look every few years." Abdul's Stand, the Magician's Red, picked Clay up by the neck and started to burn him. "Us fire users will not be ignored, Kyo! If your tax passes, then so will your life." Magician's Red slammed him to the ground and disappeared. Clay9999 turned his arm into a shotgun and fired it at Abdul. Abdul's Stand reappeared and intercepted it with its mystical flame. "Pyron. Fry Guy. Incinerate him." "Oh no you don't!" Angel yelled from the hallway. Clay let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God." Angel tried to run into the room, but catapulted back when she reached the doorway. She rubbed her head and let out an annoyed grunt. Stupid bars. She then stood back up, turned herself sideways, and came in that way. Upon entering, she took Pyron down with a jump kick. "Flame on, babay!" Fry Guy taunted as he soared at her. I-no ran in and shoved Angel out of the way. With Fry Guy still coming, she strummed a chord and stunned the giant fireball with its damaging sonics. She held her guitar by the neck and smacked Fry Guy upwards, into the ceiling. "Oh no!" Abdul exclaimed. "You'll set off the..." *sssssssssssssssssssssssss* He smacked his head. "...sprinkler system." Pyron and Fry Guy both screamed in pain and ran into the bathroom to save themselves. Clay9999 smashed Abdul over the head with a chair and ran out of the door. I-no helped Angel up, but the water seemed to have weakened the adhesive, causing the three bars to fall off. Angel held the front two up and bolted out of there with I-no. Five minutes after the Mean Street members left, the sprinklers finally stopped. The angry and very wet Abdul knocked on the bathroom door. "It's okay to come out, guys." Pyron and Fry Guy came out the bathroom while a dizzy Cinder entered through the main door. Pyron huffed. "They got away, didn't they." Abdul shook his head. "I'm afraid so." Cinder asked, "Should we go after them?" "No. No, it's too late. And besides, I really need to sit down." Fry Guy's lip quivered. "So... it was a total failure?" Abdul noticed something lying on the floor. "No. Not a total failure." He picked up the discarded censor bar. "Pyron." "Yes, Abdul?" "Put this on. I'm sick and tired of having to see your bare ass every day." [---] Hugo finally got a hold of Rock from behind. "EIN!" *crack* "ZWIE!" *crack* "DRIE! END!!" Hugo drove Rock into the ground while landing on top of him. Instead of crushing him, Rock's power caused the German monster to bounce high into the sky, and over the horizon. He landed on Takuma Sakazaki, who surprisingly didn't show a scratch. Rock stood up, still looking 100% and moved on to Poison. He stepped over Cracker Jack's beaten body and broken baseball bat. Poison flipped forward and tried to axe-kick Rock on the head. In a rapid blur, Rock Power Dunked her to the ground. "Come on, Jae. Just get it over with. The longer you make me wait, the longer I'll make you suffer." Jae accepted Rock's invitation and delivered a series of clean kicks to his enemy's head and chest. Despite the fact that it caused Rock to shift back a foot, there wasn't the slightest indication that there was any damage done. "RISING TACKLE!" Rock's counter attack, an upside-down, rising spin kick, held Jae in the air and punished him for well over fifteen seconds. The squeaky clown shoe noises added to the novelty. Luckily, Jae finally fell out of its grasp and tumbled onto the sidewalk. He struggled to crawl. Rock advanced, thinking it would be fitting if he did Jae in with Choi's claws. But then NEG grasped onto Rock from behind and tried to choke him. It didn't seem to do anything, but her pissed off screams were annoying as hell. "Sakura, take care of her." And indeed, she did take care of her. She ran next to her boyfriend and fired a series of upward blue fireballs that launched NEG up onto a neighboring roof. With intent to finish her off, Sakura searched for the nearest fire escape. Rock watched Sakura race off and grinned. "Now that that's taken care of..." "KYAAAA!" Fuuma screeched as he flew out of a garbage can and jump kicked Rock in the hockey mask. He pointed at himself and smiled. "You fuhgot I was a ninja, MOTHAFUCKAAA!" Then his leg buckled under him. "Owie. My leg." In the background, Stone Krauser looked on and downed some popcorn. "My visor rules so very, very much." "Anybody else?" Rock asked. From behind he felt the sensation like a group of people were tapping him on the back. Turning around, he saw that it was just the Driver unloading a clip. The bullets ran out and the wheelman tossed his gun away. "You can't be serious," Rock scoffed. "You don't know who you're dealing with. I'm Rock Howard. Son of Geese Howard. Trained by Terry Bogard. Owner of an almost completed Ultimate Ensemble! And you, some two-bit jackass, think you can actually beat me?" The Driver nodded and cracked his knuckles. "Well, big shot, I'm a fair guy. I'll let you use any one of your little toys on me before I tear you apart. Go ahead." Rock expected to be fed something like a flamethrower or a missile launcher. He didn't expect the Driver to pull a pill out of his pocket. "What is that?" Rock asked. Driver, of course, didn't answer. Instead, he swallowed the pill and waited. "Enough of this." Rock floated towards the Driver with full intent to maim him. Twenty seconds later, Rock sat back up, a block away. Looking down, he noticed the shoe-shaped dent on his chest plate. Due to the unexpected beat down via the Driver, Rock could sense slight feelings of pain. Then he noticed something a few feet away. Clark's sunglasses. Rock didn't notice it minutes before, but there was a very small inscription in pink saying, "MADE IN HONG KONG". "The Glasses of G'vock!" he exclaimed, before one of the Driver's grenades blasted him away. The Driver quickly ascended high into the air and landed next to Rock. Rock sliced the Driver's chest a couple times, but despite the bleeding, the Driver continued the assault. With a series of punches that were too fast for even Rock Howard to deal with, the Driver launched Rock away yet again, back to Jae. It was then when the adrenaline pill wore off and the pain registered. The Driver fell over and passed out. Rock got back up, happy that the Driver was out of the picture. And in the corner of his eye he saw that Stone was kicking the crap out of Jae in his absence. "Just keeping him warm for you, cuz!" "I can take it from here, Stone." "Cool. I'm gonna go stare up Sakura's-- I mean I'm gonna go watch Sakura beat up Jae's girl." Rock picked Jae up by the neck and stared him in the eye. "It's time to die, Kim Jae Hoon." "Wh... why?" "What did you say?" "Why? Why... do you hate me so much?" "Why do I hate you so much!? You have the audacity to ask me that!? After what you did to me!?" Jae weakly shrugged. "Well... yeah." "I'll tell you what you did! You... you..." something sticking out of the ground caught Rock's eye. "How long has that been there?" He moved closer to it, dragging Jae behind. "Yes. I should use this. It goes well with my costume. Heh heh. Fuck the talons. You're going to be sliced in half by my new sword!" He picked it up. o/~ I love to sing-ah! About the moon-ah and the June-ah and the spring-ah! I love to sing-ah! About a sky so blue--AH! o/~ Because of the prior beating from the Driver and/or a vulnerability caused from the Anubis Edge's power, Rock was fully able to feel the pain of Jae's furious kicks. Jae let his rival have it with the Phoenix Flattener. As uncanny as it seemed to Rock, Jae was on the verge of winning. "I need to get to the place," Rock told himself. "HEINZAN!" The flip kick sent Rock down the street. He got to his knees and took a couple deep breaths. His armor was dented in several places. His mask had a crack running down it. He even had some tears on his father's pants. He began to crawl in the opposite direction. "Must find the place..." "You're not getting away so easily!" Jae yelled. He picked Rock up and kicked him some more. Then he grabbed him by the scarf and tossed him even further down the street. "Haha!" Rock screamed in the air. "You just signed your death warrant! This is exactly where I wanted to go!" Jae's instincts told him to go follow and finish him off. But the near-hit of a Blitzball distracted him. "If you want to fight Rock, you gotta get through me," Stone told him with his arms crossed. "Wrong, wrong, wrong," somebody whispered from the shadows. "Jae gets to thrash Rock as long as he wants." Choi Chong Bounge appeared and pointed at Stone. "Because your ass is mine, bitch." "Let's burn it up, motherfucker!" C.C. dove at Stone and forced him into an alley where the two supporters brawled. Chong yelled from inside the alley, "Make him beg, Jae!" Jae nodded, then looked forward. Despite his title as a wholesome guy, even Jae had to respond to what was going on with, "Oh shit." Rock Howard had landed next to the Glasses of G'vock. The brief conflict between Jae and Stone gave him just enough time to remove his mask and put the shades on underneath. Upon doing so, the hockey mask healed up, the armor's dents faded away, his pants restitched themselves and his panties shook off the effects of not being cleaned for however long he had them on. He began to float again, this time with purple flames blasting out of his body. "I HAVE DONE IT!" he boomed. "I HAVE COMPLETED THE ULTIMATE ENSEMBLE! I AM INVINCIBLE! I AM A GOD!!" Jae ran at the "god", hopped into the air, and drilled down with a series of kicks. Rock didn't even budge. "IDIOT!" Jae tried a Heinzan. It even nailed Rock in the crotch. Still nothing. Rock picked Jae up by the neck and tossed him through a window with the Shinkuu Nage. It was then when he noticed that the members of Violence Unlimited, led by Cracker Jack, were running towards him. "REPPUKEN!!" If you've read enough of Forgot About Jae, you should probably have an impression of what a Reppuken looks like. Well think of one of these babies in the form of a tidal wave, going down the street and washing away anything that got in its way. Even Hugo's attempt to parry didn't cut it. Violence Unlimited had been defeated. Meanwhile, Jae lay inside the pet store he landed in. He accidentally knocked over a tank of pet earthworms, but that was the least of his problems. He had lost. There was nothing he could hope to do that would even scratch the unbeatable Rock Howard. But he kept hearing something Elias told him earlier. "You're a good fighter, Jae. But not the best. Every enemy has a weakness. Exploit this weakness and you will see your next challenge." He kept hearing that same part emphasized. "Every enemy has a weakness. Exploit this weakness. Exploit this weakness." "Ugh," he groaned. "There *is* no weakness. Rock is invincible. As long as he's wearing that stupid costume he's just plain invincible. ...Hey now." Rock floated in through the window. "NOW IT IS FINALLY OVER, JAE! DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO MARK MY ENTRANCE TO GODHOOD?!" Jae didn't say anything. Instead he weakly crawled over to the costumed cretin. He gripped his pant leg in an attempt to stand up. "WELL IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY, I DO!" Rock held his hands into the air. The resulting move would probably have enough power to destroy South Town itself if he went through with it. "RAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIING STO-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Jae was playing possum. He grabbed Rock's waistband with one hand and used the other to drop a handful of excited earthworms down his pants. Rock began to tremble. "YOU THINK EARTHWORMS CAN STOP A -- HEH HEH -- GOD --HAHAHA! -- LIKE -- HAHAHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHO! MAKE IT STOP! HEEHEEHEE!" Jae moved back and leaned on the side of a counter. He caught his breath while seeing if his plan would work. "GOT TO -- BWAHAHA! -- GET THESE OUT OF MY PANTS! OW! STUPID TALO-- HEHEHE! -- TALONS!" He removed Choi's claws and tossed them aside. "CAN'T SEE PAST THIS ARMOR!" He took off the sombrero, sunglasses and hockey mask in order to get at the armor. His voice had lost its booming quality. He tripped over. "Stupid shoes! Hehehehehe! Keep tripping over them!" Jae smirked. "It's working." After taking off the shoes and inadvertently slipping off the anklets, Rock's scarf untied and flew away with the wind. He removed his belt and pants. Rock got back up and swept away at any worms on his body. With that over he took a deep breath. "Glad that's over." Then realization struck. He was standing around in public clad in only a young girl's undergarment. Another thing that struck him was Jae's foot. Several times. Then Jae took Rock by the neck and slammed him through a nearby table. Sakura released NEG from her sleeper hold and looked over the edge of the roof. Her boyfriend was in peril and Stone was nowhere in sight. She had to help him. *tap tap* Sakura turned around and saw the bruised face of Jae's Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend. NEG trembled in anger. "You know what? You're a real pain in the neck!" She then smashed the living daylights out of Sakura's face with a right cross, letting the schoolgirl descend into a nearby dumpster. While the streets were mostly barren before, random people began to walk past the surplus of clothes lying around, almost completely ignorant to the vicious brutality going on between Jae and the half- naked Rock. "All right!" Clay9999 yelled. "Pants! Angel, quick, put these on." Venom found the red headband. "Cool! We needed some new dental floss anyway." "Yes! Not only did I find my scarf, but also here's my belt! Skullomania is at full power once again!" "So that's where my glasses went. Heh. Nice girly underwear, doofus." Mr. TJ Combo walked by next. "Hm. I pity the foo' who littered like this. I should melt this armor down. Make me some new chains, sucka. Drink your milk." "Whoa!" Kung Lao exclaimed. "Look at the size of that hat! I can take out giants with this thing!" "Fuck!" Yuri Sakazaki cursed. "Who the fuck took the fucking pants?!" Sasquatch smiled. "Finally! Some shoes that'll fit my grotesquely huge feet!" "Arr! Look at these here anklets! We be playing ring toss tonight for sure!" "Hockey mask. Marky, is there a hockey mask on the list?" "Sure is, Kevin!" "Mark it down then." "Can I keep it? I wanna be Jason for Halloween!" "Heh. Sure thing, kid." Soon all that was left was a pair of claws. Back inside the pet shop, Rock's face looked like somebody took an apple and threw it against a wall for an hour. His face was swollen and blood was leaking out of several orifices. He fell back and weakly pointed at Jae. "Just so you... know... I will get you... Jae. Next time... I will... kill you..." Jae was no longer there. At first he glanced at the talons gloves lying outside. Then his face became shrouded with a black shadow as he stared down at his victim. "There isn't going to be a next time." "Huh...?" Jae grabbed Rock by the neck and stood him up so he could punish him some more. At first it was just the memories of Choi. But soon Jae's visage transformed. He no longer saw a bloody blonde guy in a state of undress. Now all he saw before him was a psychotic, faceless murderer with hair covering his entire head. This gothic image didn't beg like Rock did. Instead he taunted Jae, reminding him of what he did to Kim Kaphwan. For probably the first time in his life, Kim Jae Hoon had no intention of showing mercy to his enemy. He was going to kill Rock Howard. Somewhere else, Quan Chi sneered with delight. Everything was going according to plan. [---] Elias stood within his empty church, staring in a random direction. He closed his eyes and took a deep sigh. "Congratulations, Jae. You defeated the invincible Rock Howard and the Armor of Mars. Now it is time for your next challenge. Good luck... "And heaven help you." [---] Author's Notes Well that was fun, wasn't it? I felt it was time to finish off the whole Ultimate Ensemble arc and move on. After I came up with the whole worms idea, I knew that I had to write Jae vs. Rock if it was the last thing I would do. I was feeling a little dry on E. Honda material so I used a reoccurring Conan O'Brien skit to fill the void. Hope you don't mind. Special thanks go out to black dub, Grahf and OgOpOgO- for prereading and helping me with some ideas. And as always, thanks to the eDANgelist for coming up with the Starman and the Boston Crabs bit. Also, apologies to Zeroin for having to write the Firebrands before he could. Up next is OgOpOgO-, or OgOpOgO if you want to use his nickname. Will it be good? Listen, bud. He has disturbing comedic blood. Gavin "Gavok" Jasper Half Horse Productions http://www.rit.edu/~gjj2192/hol Oh, I almost forgot. It can't be a Gavok chapter without this guy... [---] BATTLER! Seeeeeeeeeeecrets. "The D in Heavy D! doesn't stand for anything. It's just a reference to the fact that he could never comprehend multiplication in grade school." Seeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "If you pay attention to the fighter profiles, you'll notice that all three members of the Sports Team list their favorite sports as something inconsistent with their gimmicks. I enjoy hunting, Lucky loves baseball and Heavy is a wrestling nut. The truth is, we were originally going to be the Halloween Team. Those assholes changed it to the Sports Team five minutes before our first fight. That's pretty much how it happened." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "I'm numba one." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "Why weren't we in the King of Fighters tournament after 1994? Steal a bagel off Athena's plate once and you pay for it for the rest of your life." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "Some ask me if losing in the King of Fighters was the most disappointing moment in my life. Of course not. That space is reserved for the cancellation of the XFL." Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. "Do you know a guy by the name of E. Honda? I hear King wasn't in King of Fighters 2002 because she was pregnant with Honda's seed. Nine months later she gave birth to a delicious 16 oz. steak. The afterbirth was sautTed mushrooms. To E. Honda." BATTLER! Seeeeeeeeeeeeecrets. [---] "TELEVISION IS HORRIBLE THESE DAYS," said Onslaught. Next to him on a giant couch was Apocalypse. "INDEED. I THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE RECEPTION." "ALLOW ME TO MAKE A PHONE CALL." Onslaught pulled out a giant cell phone and pressed a speed dial button. "HELLO, ALAN. MY TELEVISION IS BUSTED. THANK YOU." Upon the hanging up of the phone, an average looking man with a mustache and a receding hairline entered through the door, greeted Onslaught and took a look at the TV. "Ah. There's the problem. Let me just get my tools, Mr. 'Slaught and everything'll be hunky-dory." "I APPRECIATE IT, ALAN." Apocalypse watched Alan go to work and turned to Onslaught. "WHO IS THIS MAN?" "BEHOLD MY MIGHTY HANDY MAN!"