It was a realm of bedlam. Very few had ever experienced its trippy 
surroundings firsthand. The only way to actually enter the realm was 
to challenge or to be challenged by Inferno, the evil essence of the 
one surviving Soul Edge in an almost human form.

There were others with Inferno in the Chaos Realm. The Soul Edge's 
previous controller, Siegfried Schtauffen, lay unconscious across the 
ground. The rest were a team of heroes out to destroy the Soul Edge's 
evil once and for all, though weakened by Inferno's power. The leader 
of the four was Hwang Sung Kyung, a Korean hero of justice. Alongside 
him was Heishiro Mitsurugi, a rival swordsman but fellow fighter of 
good. Also with them was the giant monster known as Astaroth, wielding 
his axe in a most threatening manner. Last was Voldo, a skinny 
freakish creature that used his acrobatic and mind trick abilities to 
help gouge his way to victory.

Astaroth rushed Inferno and swung his axe downward. The Soul Edge's 
durability kept it from splitting the fire spirit into two. Both 
pushed back and forth, trying to out power each other. But just as 
Inferno seemed to be getting the best of his enemy, Mitsurugi ran by 
and sliced him down the back. Inferno let go and screamed in pain.

Astaroth used this diversion to pick Inferno up with his axe and swing 
him around in circles. Finally, he let go and the fiery embodiment of 
evil soared over to Voldo.

Voldo caught Inferno with his katar blades and began to spin them 
around. The skinny blind man spun Inferno around by its back like a 
man spinning a basketball off his finger. Voldo then boosted Inferno 
into the air, leaving things to Hwang.

The airborne Inferno screamed with a high, otherworldly pitch as it 
neared the jumping Hwang. With a shining smile, Hwang met Inferno with 
an impaling through the chest. Hwang cut through Inferno and fell to 
the ground. Inferno, instead, continued to float as it went into 
convulsions.

Mitsurugi pointed up. "It's going to blow! Jump through the portal!"

Hwang and Mitsurugi were closer to the opened portal to their home 
dimension so they got to hop through it first. Astaroth and Voldo 
hurried behind them. But with time to spare, the two freaks made it 
out okay.

Hwang pointed at them. "Astaroth, Voldo! Get away from the portal!"

A light blasted out the portal from Inferno's explosion that covered 
the screaming Astaroth and Voldo. They flew through the air, in agony, 
until crashing to the ground.

Hwang nudged them. "Hey! You all right? Snap out of it!"

His samurai friend studied their burnt bodies. "They don't have any 
wounds. Looks like they passed out."

Hwang heard them groaning. "Uh, it looks like they're coming to."

Astaroth and Voldo sat up covered in soot.

"*hissss*" Astaroth spoke.

"*grunt*" Voldo replied.

"*hissssss*?" Astaroth asked.

"*grunt*!" Voldo exclaimed.

The two started freaking out and pointing at each other. The blast had 
traded the two freaks' minds into the other's body. Voldo's body tried 
to hold up the giant axe, while Astaroth's body tried to fit the 
relatively tiny katars. Hwang and Mitsurugi just looked on in 
disbelief.

Hwang scratched his chin. "Then that means... what, exactly?"

"What are we going to do?!" Mits replied.

"Soul Edge did this. So we're going to have to search for it again."

"Well, I don't know if-- say, isn't that Xianghua over there!?" 
Mitsurugi ran into the distance. He suddenly stopped. "Oh, wait. It's 
just a poster."

*BANG!*

A random musket shot caused Mitsurugi to fall back and grip his 
shoulder.

"Huh," Hwang stated. "I guess I should see if Seung Mina would help."

[---]

Choi Bounge suddenly woke up, covered in a cold sweat. He threw on his 
sunglasses and took a couple deep breaths.

"I had that other dream again!"

[---]

The rising sun shone brightly down upon the face of Kim Kaphwan, his 
polished smile (the one where the light goes *ting* off his teeth) 
shining out for all to see, his posture heroic, reminding all that the 
best life was a life of justice where you'd eat your vegetables, say 
your prayers, and take your vitamins.

But the one respecting the bronze statue that stood over Kaphwan's 
grave was not one of his kin nor one of his students. It was only an 
admirer and fellow reformer of evil. He was also the proprietor of the 
cemetery and the church it was adjacent to. He wore a long, purple 
jacket with a white priest's collar. He had a white cloth across his 
shoulders depicting the cross on each side. He was a tall man with 
long, black hair that only reached down his back. His face was 
detailed with a pair of John Lennon shades and a long frown. He made 
the sign of the cross with his right hand and bowed before Kaphwan's 
statue.

"My name is Father Patrick Elias," he narrated. "I am a reformer of 
evil. Only unlike Kaphwan's calling, I do not deal with those who walk 
with evil behavior. Instead I deal with the evil spirits embedded in 
the innocents I come across. Exorcism is my talent.

"I serve the Lord these days, but lately I have been receiving 
visions. A war is brewing, I know that. A war is brewing that will put 
all existence on the line. The powers of Hell are plotting now, more 
than they have in the past century. A dark shadow shall lead them to 
make Earth their second territory. And with him is a hunter, covered 
in spikes and reeking of evil. There is a fallen hero, surrounded by 
a motley crew of bodyguards. And there is another group, helping them, 
made up of two shape shifters and their two harlot companions. 

"But I see many other players in this story. I see a group of unlikely 
heroes, led by a man with no eyes. With him are a giant, a fool, a 
nameless mute and a being of unknown gender. I see a young girl titled 
after her role as a boy's lover. I see a trio of masked heroes, hated 
by the outside world, but still fighting to save it. I see a group of 
followers, worshipping a weak man who is imprisoned in another land. 
I see a dangerous group led by a redheaded turncoat. I see a boy of 
many clothes and his two loyal associates. I see two unlucky men with 
tall hairdos. I cannot tell what their roles may be in this upcoming 
scenario. Even the Lord himself may be in the dark.

"But most importantly I see two brothers who hold the key to Hell's 
defeat. One is forgetful. The other forgotten. Only together can they 
stand a chance against the evil.

"And I see myself in the middle of this, guiding the heroes to their 
hopeful victory.

"My name is Father Patrick Elias. I kick arse for the Lord."

[---]

FORGOT ABOUT JAE
Chapter 25: Laundry Day

Series given a promotion and an extra day off by Shelby Scott, aka the 
Darkheart One.

Chapter fed to grasshoppers by Gavin "Gavok" Jasper

[---]

Last time on Forgot About Jae:

- Scorpion flipped out and kicked Ghost Rider's ass.

- Tina, Lei Fang and Shermie went around beating down fellow big-
breasted women for very little reason.

- Mr. Grimm yelled at Violence Unlimited a lot, but wandered off with 
Megaman X. And it's a good thing he did, too. One more day of that and 
Fuuma would have shot him in the bathroom before blasting himself.

- Ultros was killed off. He will be missed. At least I'll kinda miss 
him.

- Violence Unlimited plus Battler Man and friends thwarted the Smoker!

- I watched the news today, oh boy. Simon claimed Dracula rose from 
his grave.

[---]

At the headquarters for the Mean Street Posse, Clay9999 wandered into 
the kitchen where he saw Angel reading the newspaper. She gave a 
friendly wave to him. Clay9999 just glared back. That was the closest 
thing you'd get to a smile from him.

"Baby, where are the light bulbs at?"

"In the cupboard next to the fridge."

"Thanks." Clay9999 walked past the table and stepped up on a stool so 
he could reach the cupboard. He looked back and watched Angel reading 
the paper. Something seemed off about it. He searched the cupboard and 
found a new bulb. He stepped off the stool and continued staring at 
Angel. "Angel, did you get a haircut?"

"No." She continued reading without looking away.

"Because there's something different about you." He looked her up and 
down. "Did you lose weight?"

"No, not really."

"Did you... gain weight?"

"No!"

"Must be my imagination. Ah well. Got what I came for, anyway."

Angel put down the newspaper and turned to Clay9999. "Clay, is there 
any orange juice left?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good, I'm thirsty as hell." Angel stood up and walked past Clay9999, 
over to the fridge. Her NESTS alumni just shrugged and walked off with 
his light bulb in hand. As Angel drank some OJ straight from the 
carton, Clay9999 left the room.

It was when he reached his room when he realized that Angel wasn't 
wearing a single shred of clothing. Shocked, he ran back into the 
kitchen.

"Angel, what the hell do you think you're doing like that!?" Clay9999 
screamed in anger.

"Geez!" Angel yelled back. "So I'm drinking straight from the carton. 
It's almost done anyway."

"It's not that, dammit! You're naked!"

Angel looked down, then at Clay9999. "Seems I am. So did you get the 
light working again?"

"I don't know, I didn't check but I think it should-- Angel, why the 
fuck are you naked?!"

"Because it's laundry day. I told you I was doing my laundry."

"Yes, but that doesn't explain why you're not wearing anything!"

"So I like to get it done all at once. Chill out, Clay. It's not like 
it's something you've never seen before."

Clay9999 sighed. "Fine, but can't you cover up or something? What if 
Raptor walks in and sees you like this?"

"He went to Hell for the weekend, remember?"

"Right, right." Clay9999 was about to leave again when he thought 
about something. "Wait, you wear mostly leather with metallic stuff 
on it. Isn't that bad for the washing..."

*BOOM!*

"...machine?"

The two scrambled to the next room. Clay9999 decided to run faster, 
the fool. They looked over a blackened washing machine, covered in 
mild flames. Clay9999 turned his arm into a fire extinguisher and put 
it out. After that, only black smoke escaped.

"Well, damn," Angel said. She held up one of her black jackets. After 
two seconds it crumbled to soot. "That was my entire wardrobe." She 
rolled her eyes and walked back to the kitchen. Clay9999 followed.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm finding my pocket book. I need to go buy a new set of clothes 
before all the stores close."

"Well you're not going out like that!" Clay9999 chastised.

She sighed. "Fine! I'll put on some sunscreen if it'll make you 
happy."

"No, it's not that. Angel, I can't have you walking around South Town 
in the nude!"

"Why?"

"Because... because you're my girl! Why don't you borrow something 
from I-no?"

"She left with Raptor and took all her stuff."

"Shit!"

Angel walked upwards in the direction of the bathroom. "Would it work 
if I wore a towel?" she asked from upstairs.

Clay9999 rubbed his temples so hard that his hand flowed into his 
head. "I don't like it, but if you really have to leave, it's better 
than nothing."

Angel walked back down the stairs and to the door. Clay9999 screamed 
her name again. "Angel!"

"What?!"

"You're still bare assed! I thought you said you were going to put on 
a towel!"

Angel turned around, wearing three small washcloths and some scotch 
tape. "I'm wearing three. Is there no pleasing you?"

"Don't you have a bigger towel?!"

"It's in the wash."

"That's it!" Clay9999 stood in front of the door. "Angel, I forbid 
you from ever leaving this house unless you're fully clothed!"

"Well how do you expect me to *buy* clothes if I can't leave this 
place?"

Clay9999 thought to himself. "Aha! I got it! It's simple. I'll buy 
the clothes for you."

"If you insist. Do you need my measurements?"

"Won't be needed." Clay9999's body transformed into a perfect replica 
of Angel's, only he was wearing her regular leather outfit. In a voice 
like hers, he said, "I shouldn't be long. Later, baby."

"Later, Putty Buddy."

"Don't call me that." Clay/Angel slammed the door.

"Well, I'm bored," the real Angel said to herself. "I should probably 
go pick up random objects off the floor."

[---]

Elsewhere, Lucky Luke Glauber shivered.

"Urrrgh?" Billy Kane asked.

"I don't know, man. For some reason I feel like leaving the Mean 
Street Posse was a big mistake."

[---]

Evil men entered Hell all the time. That's what it's there for. Day 
in, day out, legions of bad people would call the flaming pits their 
new home. But it was very rare to ever see an evil man enter Hell, who 
was still alive! But Daniel J. D'Arby had his reasons to visit the 
land of pain and chaffing.

Daniel was a collector of souls. Not the kind of collector like Shang 
Tsung who used violence to get his way, nor like Morrigan who used 
lust to make due. Daniel used gambling. For his Stand Osiris was one 
that tore the souls away from those he had defeated in his games. He 
was never one for fisticuffs, but that didn't stop him from being 
among the most dangerous Stand wielders alive.

In Hell, he had sought to face Mephisto himself and win as many souls 
possible through poker or some other game to bet on. But before he 
had the chance, Daniel was challenged by Mephisto's son, Blackheart.

"I didn't know you were into cards, Blackheart."

"Eternity can be very boring, D'Arby. Sometimes you need to pass the 
time."

"Okay, then. But keep in mind that I don't play for money. I play for 
souls."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Unfortunately I don't have a soul 
of my own." Blackheart pulled out a sack of coins and emptied them out 
on his side of the table. They were all souls converted to tokens, 
with the faces of the victims engraved on each. "But don't let that 
stop you."

D'Arby looked at the pile. Even his own collection was not that huge. 
He shivered in excitement.

"Well, D'Arby? Do you still want to play? I'm ready when you are."

D'Arby smiled and pointed at the demon prince. "GOOD!"

[---]

"I hear E. Honda's body grease is slick enough to deflect bullets!"

"E. Honda? I hear he's nine feet tall and weighs half a ton!"

"E. Honda has an original copy of the first Superman comic! He deep 
fried it and ate it as an appetizer!"

"He bitch slapped Tom Petty!"

"He beat Galactus in a staring contest!"

"He played in the XFL!"

"He sold M. Bison on the idea to drive a semi truck at Ryu, and 
convinced Ryu he'd be able to jump kick it!"

"E. Honda chases Solo!  We drink Ritalin!"

"TO E. HONDA!"

[---]

"Okay, will that be all, Miss Angel?"

"Yes," Clay9999 in disguise said to the clothing store clerk.

"That will be $680. Cash or charge?"

"Oh, right. Let me get the money." Clay/Angel reached into his black 
jacket to search for his wallet. His eyes widened. "Heh. I seemed to 
have forgotten my wallet."

The clerk just stared blankly. "Next!"

Clay/Angel left the line and grumbled in Clay9999's voice. "What a 
waste of time that was." Then something caught his eye. Back in 
Angel's voice he asked, "Isn't that Kyo Kusanagi?"

Indeed, Kyo was just outside the store, instructing his bodyguards.

"Okay, guys. I'm going to go buy some slacks. You wait up for me over 
here. And NO FIRE while I'm gone, okay? Scorpion, that goes double 
for you. I heard about the court fiasco, you son of a bitch."

"Won't happen again," Scorpion assured.

Kyo stepped through the doors. Immediately Armor King groaned, "What 
a dick."

Clay/Angel stared at Kyo from behind a rack of shirts. There was 
something important about him that he couldn't remember. "What the 
hell was that thing Raptor told me?"

[---]

"Don't throw salt in your eyes! And also, whenever you get around to 
it, disguise yourself as Kyo Kusanagi and steal his spot. It'll help 
us get in deeper with Blackheart's plans."

[---]

Clay/Angel immediately grabbed a saltshaker off a counter (no, I have 
no clue why it was there in the first place) and tossed salt into his 
eyes. He screamed and fell over. After composing himself, he noticed 
Kyo grabbing a couple pairs of pants off a rack and walking into the 
men's fitting room.

Still hidden from view, he transformed back into his plain Clay9999 
state and followed Kyo into the room. But first he grabbed a mostly-
empty garbage bag from the trash.

Kyo zipped up his new black pants and looked into the mirror. He 
jumped when he thought he saw the reflection of something hideous 
staring at him from under the door. But when he looked back, there 
was nothing.

Just then, he heard a knock on the door.

"Occupied!"

"No, boss. It's me."

Kyo opened the door and saw Goro standing before him. "I told you to 
stay outside!"

"Yes, but it's an emergency. I just saw Liu Kang tossing fire."

"WHAT!? Let me at him! First I'm going to kick his ass, then I'm 
going to sue the pants off him!"

Kyo began to storm off, but Goro jumped over and landed in front of 
him. "Oh, boss, just one other thing."

"What is it?!"

"This!" Goro proceeded to clobber Kyo into unconsciousness with his 
four arms. He scooped up the prone asshole, stuffed him into the 
garbage bag, reverted back to Clay9999 and walked out of the store 
through the back door. He tossed the bag into a moving garbage truck 
and reentered the store.

Clay9999 morphed into Kyo Kusanagi and marched out the door to his 
four bodyguards. His voice changed into character along with his 
sinister laugh.

[---]

Vanilla Ice bowed before his master.

"Master Dio, I have news."

Dio sucked down on a milkshake. Using his charismatic skills, Dio 
found refuge from the sun in the backroom of a Smoothie King desert 
shop. "What do you have to report Ice?"

"Dio, I... I've fallen in love."

Dio grinned. "Good for you, my loyal companion. Who is the lucky guy?"

"...Guy?"

"Yes, guy. You are gay, right?"

"Not really, master."

Dio spit out his shake. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I promise I'm not. Why are you under the impression that I'm of the 
homosexual persuasion? ...Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Ice, look in a mirror. You're absolutely flaming."

"I cannot do that, Master Dio. We're vampires. We don't have 
reflections."

"Good point. Well take my word for it. You look as queer as a three 
dollar bill."

"If you say so, Master Dio."

"So," Dio took another sip from his shake, "who is the lucky woman?"

"She is a human. I met her last night at a New Faces concert. Her name 
is Yuri Sakazaki. I have a picture." Ice gave his master a photo of 
said girl.

"...She's not wearing any pants."

Ice nodded. "Is she not beautiful? But she is already with another 
man, named Robert Garcia. He is a rich man who treats her as an 
object. I have followed you for years, my master. But I need to ask 
the favor that you help me in separating her from this Robert Garcia. 
Please, Dio."

Dio considered this. "You have been my most loyal soldier, Vanilla 
Ice. Get me a refill with some chocolate sprinkles, and you have 
yourself a deal."

[---]

"Gen is actually 22! He just walked in on E. Honda at the wrong time!"

"He swallowed N'Doul whole! It was the sight of E. Honda's insides 
that blinded him!"

"His armpit can both stop the Juggernaut and move the Blob!"

"There's moss growing on his inner thigh!"

"He saw the Never-ending Story and sued for false advertising!"

"It wasn't Raizo that time, it was E. Honda!"

"TO E. HONDA!"

[---]

"Hi, I'm Simon Belmont and welcome back to the Belmont Family News 
Factor. You can't go anywhere today without hearing about the 
acquittal of Siegfried Schtauffen, which took place earlier today. 
Schtauffen was charged with the murder of his father, Frederick 
Schtauffen. Schtauffen's defense was based on the fact that he could 
not wield such a weapon as the large zweihander used in the murder.

"His lawyer, Attorney Monkey-for-a-Head has been quoted as saying, 
'If he can't lift the sword, then freedom's the reward.' Upon release 
from prison, Schtauffen has claimed, quote, 'I will not rest until I 
find the real killer.'"

Simon turned and a new graphic appeared over his shoulder. "In similar 
news, New Face members Yashiro and Shermie are in tears over the 
apparent disappearance of their junior bandmate Chris. They say that 
shortly after their performance last night, someone had stormed 
backstage and took Chris away at gunpoint. Shermie described the 
kidnapper as 'Some Shotoclone Guy'. Currently there is an 
investigation to see if Some Shotoclone Guy is also behind the murder 
of Frederick Schtauffen."

[---]

Angel lounged around the Mean Street Posse headquarters. She was still 
very bored, and yes, still very naked. When searching for a deck of 
cards, she came across Clay9999's wallet (the one that says "Bad Muddy 
Fucker" on it).

"Uh oh. He can't buy anything without this. I better go out and find 
him." She grabbed the wallet and ran out the front door. After hearing 
several instances of whistling and hollering, she remembered her 
current state and what Clay9999 said about it. She ran back in and 
closed the door.

"Stupid rule. I'll never get out of here." Angel walked back into the 
kitchen and brushed against the garbage basket. She stared at it and 
suddenly got an idea.

[---]

Meanwhile, Slash the purple-wearing elf was still in big trouble. The 
gaggle of Fernandezes was still on his tail. Every time he seemed to 
lose them, some asshole would say "perfect" and cause them to chase 
him again. But this time he had a plan to finally be rid of the pests.

He read from the directions in his hands. "He said to meet him here. 
God, I hope this works."

Slash heard a scream from the distance and saw something nearing from 
afar.

"Yes!" Slash said out loud.

Terry Bogard soared through the air with his fist out. It's not 
certain how he was able to tell Slash of his plan, but he did so 
anyway. He set his sights on the giant balls with faces that chased 
Slash 24/7.

"NOW!"

Slash took cover.

*SMASH*

The Burn Knuckle blasted the Fernandezes, bouncing them apart and 
spreading them around South Town like a bunch of tennis balls. He had 
fallen to the ground and breathed a sigh of relief. He was finally 
done with that accursed move.

Slash helped him up. "I can't believe that worked! You're a genius!"

"Thanks. But now that you're problem is fixed, and my problem is 
fixed, you know what it means?"

"No, what."

"It's time to fight! POWA GEYSA!"

*BOOM*

[---]

Rock Howard, Sakura Kasugano and Stone Krauser walked out of OOSHA's 
center of operations, satisfied. They delivered ChuChu and took a 
quick class in Saikyo. In return, Rock gained Blanka's anklets, Sakura 
received a new pink schoolgirl uniform, and they ultimately made a 
strong ally.

"All's well that ends well," Stone said.

"You said it." Sakura admired her outfit. "I had no idea Karnov was a 
seamstress."

"I like it," Rock said through the hockey mask. "Very cute. Though 
I'll miss the tights."

"Don't worry about that, sweetie." Sakura whispered into Rock's ear. 
"It's pink on the outside, but I'm wearing black underneath."

It was guessed that Rock smiled after that. "So who's next on the 
list?"

Stone checked the list. "Oooooh shit. I don't know how we missed this 
one."

"What is it?" Sakura asked.

"Choi Bounge's metal talons."

Rock shrugged. "What's so special about that chump? He's just a 
sidekick of a sidekick of a dead guy whose biggest claim to fame was 
that he met Joe Higashi."

"Exactly," Stone went on. "The guy was close to Kaphwan. And my 
sources tell me--"

Sakura sighed. "Again with the sources."

"Let me finish. My sources tell me that Choi Bounge is in fact 
visiting South Town and guess whose apartment he's living in."

"...Gen-an Shiranui?"

"No, man! Jae Hoon! You remember Jae, don't you, cuz?"

Rock grumbled. "I can never forget about Jae. But do I dare reveal 
myself to him so soon? I was hoping to absolutely destroy him at full 
force. Aw, fuck it. Let's go beat the shit out of some Koreans."

Rock led the way and walked into the distance. Stone and Sakura 
followed.

"You know, Sakura," Stone told her, "that is a nice skirt."

"Thanks, Stone."

"Too bad it doesn't hold a candle to the fucking visor! Yeah!"

"God, will you just shut up about the visor?"

[---]

To escape the hunting oni Garuda, Dr. Doom and his protégé Kim Dong 
Hwan sought refuge in South Town. The shining sun was much more 
desirable than the dark murkiness in Latveria. The two walked down the 
sidewalk, breathing in the fresh air.

"It truly is a day worthy of Dr. Doom's presence," Doom said.

"Yeah, it's been a while since I've been here. It's too bad I had to 
leave."

"Why is that?" the floating Doom wondered.

"Me and my brother, what's-his-name, had a fall out."

"Falling out."

"Exactly. But screw him. He's just a wet blanket who doesn't know 
from fun." Dong lifted his hands up to make quoting motions. "He kept 
saying shit like, 'Dong, you don't train enough' and 'Dong, you're 
lazy and you eat too much' and 'Dong, why can't you be less like Uncle 
Chang and more like dad?' and 'Dong, how do you like your toast?' and 
'Dong, you make quotes with your fingers way too much.' It's enough to 
make you sick. So I left."

"Doom sees. But it's a necessity that we enter this city. That blue 
demon will never find us here. Don't you agree?"

There was no response.

"Don't you agree? ...Dong?"

Doom turned his head and saw Garuda strangling Dong. No, I don't mean 
it like that you pervert. The Elemental Spirit Sylph began to be 
vacuumed out of Dong's being, thanks to Garuda's power. The young man 
looked to his mentor.

"Doom, what do I do? What do I do?"

Doom, one of the most brilliant beings to ever exist in any form of 
storytelling pondered on how Dong could possibly get out of this 
pickle. Using his astounding wisdom, Victor Von Doom crossed his arms 
and told Dong the right answer.

"Kick him in the nards!"

"Garuda doesn't have nards!"

"Kick him anyway!"

Dong gave a swift kick that hit Garuda right in the crotch. Despite 
It's quiet, deadly and determined demeanor, Garuda let go of Dong Hwan 
and Sylph, grabbed onto It's groin and fell in fetal position.

"Whoa," Dong said. "Garuda's got nards."

"He's incapacitated for the moment. We must escape."

Dong pumped his fists into the air. "I know now what we must do!"

A minute later they found themselves in a grocery store a block away.

"What are we doing here, again?" Doom asked.

"We're buying baloney."

"And why is that?"

"So we can make a super baloney sandwich!"

"Should Doom go get the bread?"

"Nah, man. The baloney IS the bread! That's what makes it so super!"

"Intriguing."

[---]

"E. Honda once sneezed and farted at the same time! It sunk the 
Titanic!"

"He won Ben Stein's Money!"

"E. Honda is the number one form of birth control!"

"I hear E. Honda ate the Psycho Drive and said it needed salt!"

"He's the greatest DDR player to ever exist, but no dance pad can 
support him!"

"His left buttock is regarded as the Eighth Wonder of the World!"

"His right buttock is the Ninth!"

"His middle buttock is the Tenth!"

"TO E. HONDA!"

[---]

Kyo/Clay smiled. "It sure is nice to get back to my office."

"This is the elevator," Scorpion said.

"I know that!"

"You know, Kyo," Shang Tsung said, "there's something odd about you. I 
can't put my finger on it."

Kyo/Clay seemed nervous and said, "R-really?"

"Yes. You seem different... but familiar. Like as if you're not Kyo, 
but I know you from somewhere."

"Heh. That's crazy."

"Yeah, Shang," Armor King said. "You're creeping us out. Of course 
he's Kyo. All your shape shifting has made you paranoid. Like that one 
weekend when you were convinced that everybody in South Town was a 
robot."

The four men and the shokan stepped out of the elevator. Thirty 
seconds later, Kyo/Clay took a deep breath and commented, "It sure is 
nice to get back to my office."

"Boss, you're in the ladies bathroom," Goro said from the other side 
of the door.

"I meant what I said!"

"See?" Armor King said. "Told you he was the real Kyo."

[---]

Simon Belmont checked the sheet he had just been given. "Whoa. In a 
shocking turn of events, it sees that Chris, junior member of the New 
Faces, is actually alive. At the scene to hear Yashiro's comments is 
Trevor Belmont. How goes it, Trevor?"

Trevor stood in front of the New Face's trailer where Yashiro stood 
behind a podium with Shermie and Chris to his sides. He surveyed the 
many reporters and supporters in the area.

"Yashiro seems to be ready to make his speech and, okay, he's 
starting."

"We... have an announcement to make, um. Our teammate has been 
returned to us. But, that isn't all we have to say. You see, we 
learned a very important lesson tonight and it took the smarts of 
young Chris to show us."

"Yeah!" Chris said, smiling.

"We've learned that deception is wrong and that the only thing to ever 
make it right again is to come clean."

"Yeah!" Chris repeated.

"You see, I've been deceiving Shermie for several months. I had been 
taking sexual favors from random male groupies who were complete 
strangers."

Chris continued smiling. "Yea-- wait, what?"

Shermie moved to the microphone. "And when I found out I went crazy, 
I went crazy and I tried to sacrifice the three of us to the great and 
mighty Lord Orochi, starting by an attempt to kill Chris."

"K-kill me!? Jesus Christ!"

Yashiro spoke again. "So you see, there was no 'Some Shotoclone Guy'. 
He doesn't exist. And so the people we owe the biggest apology to are 
M. Bison, Siegfried and Sephiroth. We gave you false hope for finding 
the person who hurt those close to you and, we're sorry. Now we're 
just happy we won't have to live a life of secrets. For I knew that 
even though some of you supported us, some others were looking at me 
and thinking..."

Yashiro looked directly at M. Bison "'You're a liar! You're a LIAR! 
You know something that you're not telling us, you slimy, scumbag 
LIAR!'"

Yashiro looked into the crowd again. "Eh, you know, that's what people 
would say to me. And then people would see Shermie at the supermarket 
and they would say, 'Hello,' but they'd be thinking..."

He looked directly at Siegfried. "'Ah, there goes that MURDERER! You 
got away with MURDER you murdering, lying, waste of life!!'" 

"And to me, people might say things like," he looked at Bison again. 
"'LIAR! Tell us what you know you goddamned LIAR!!'

"And so, to both of us, people all over town would be saying things 
like... 

He looked directly at Sephiroth. "'You know goddamn well what happened 
to that kid, so stop acting like a victim, and confess, you MURDERING 
MURDERER!!'" He glared at Sephiroth. "'CONFESS!!'" Then to Bison one 
more time. "LIAR!! CONFESS!!' You know, and, that's what people would 
be saying to us, and so, we just had to come forward and tell the 
truth."

[---]

Ultros stepped out of Park World, walking alongside Cracker Jack, and 
basked in the sun. It was good to be alive again. And he was more than 
happy to find out that Mr. Grimm was no longer on the Violence 
Unlimited payroll.

"Thanks for bringing me back, CJ."

"Your welcome. Sorry it took so long. You have no idea how hard it is 
to find a piece of you to bring back when you turn into a cloud of 
smoke."

Ultros looked sheepish. "Heh, sorry. It's genetic."

"Don't worry about it."

"So what happened since I've been gone?"

"Oh, you know. Stuff. We fought the Smoker and saved the city, Fuuma 
acted like a jackass, and Poison and I have decided to release you."

"...What?"

"You're fired, Ultros."

Ultros stopped keeping up with CJ and paused. "But... but I was 
working for free!"

Meanwhile, as the sun set upon South Town, two mysterious men entered 
the building.

"This is the place," Vanilla Ice said as he pointed at the sign:

                  PARK WORLD RESTORATION FACILITY
                A GARCIA'S FAMILY FOUNDATION COMPANY
           "If you think it sucks, then it's not Garcia's"

[---]

"Heihachi Mishima tossed his own son into a volcano. He survived 
because there was already a stack of E. Honda's kids!"

"He refuses to believe that Faust is Dr. Baldhead!"

"Zuul will now only ask if you're E. Honda!"

"He's a hidden character in Bloodstorm!"

"He was the guy who sang for Milli Vanilli!"

"It's yet to be proven, but it's popular belief that Captain Lou 
Albano is E. Honda's father!"

"TO E. HONDA!"

[---]

Jae and his Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend weren't at his apartment 
when Rock Howard intruded. That brought both good news and bad news. 
The good news was that Jae's health was spared for the moment, as he 
didn't have to fight with the overpowered youth. The bad news was that 
Choi Bounge was home and he needed all the help he could get.

"Iku de yansu!" Choi screamed as he sprung into action.

A Shine Knuckle propelled him back.

"You can't hack it anymore, old man."

"Hack I can! Slice you I will!"

Rock ran at Choi and zipped behind him in order to surprise him with 
a Shinkuu Nage. But when he tried, Choi was already gone.

"Where--?!"

Choi's talons poking into Rock's ass answered the question. Taking 
advantage of Rock's yelp, Choi hopped up and tipped the sombrero over 
Rock's face, blinding him. He laughed maniacally and began digging 
into Rock's neck and shoulders.

"DANCE! DANCE! GOUGE! GOUGE!"

He hopped off Rock's head, spun around in place, and then power posed, 
yelling, "PING! Too fast for you I am!"

"REPPUKEN!"

The wave was four times bigger than usual. Choi couldn't act before it 
blasted him into a chair. He shook his head and got up. Choi was an 
aging man, older than Kaphwan would have been. Ever since Kim's death, 
Choi lost the reasoning to train as hard as he had during the 
nineties. While his fighting ability peaked in the early 2000's, it 
had already decayed back to his weaker days of '94 when he just 
started to learn Tae Kwon Do. He was no longer as quick as he used to 
be, and his battle with this mysterious youngster was teaching him 
that lesson.

But he felt he could still win the fight. Other than his unorthodox 
Tae Kwon Do skills, he had a special power that Kim told him never to 
use unless it was an emergency. But his life was on the line. He 
needed to do it.

Choi dove at Rock from across the room in the form of a tornado, 
lunging right at his neck. Rock attempted to swat him away, but at 
the last second Choi changed his direction and took out Rock's knee. 
With the opening he needed, Choi began to spin. His cyclonic powers 
began to pick up and he sucked up Rock into a giant tornado that began 
to tear up Jae's apartment and especially the roof (good thing Jae 
lived on the top floor).

Lightning crackled around the windy cylinder and the attack lasted for 
about a full minute. Choi stopped it and struck a heroic pose. Rock 
fell like, well, a rock. But in a moment he got up and staggered.

"I cannot forgive EVIL!" Choi screamed as he went to strike once more. 
But Rock grabbed him out of the air and slammed him into the wall. 
Holding him still, Rock first tried punching Choi in the face, but 
missed by half a foot. He was still pretty messed up from the 
whirlwind.

"Having a little trouble?" Choi taunted.

Rock grabbed Choi's left arm and removed the claw. He spiked it into 
the floor and went for the other. Instead of discarding it, he held it 
and examined its sharpness.

"Give that back!" Choi demanded.

"If you insist." Rock shoved the talon through Choi's sternum and 
impaled him onto the wall. With Choi unable to free himself, Rock just 
laughed. "Where's your speed now, has-been?"

Rock put his hand around Choi's neck. "If you live long enough to see 
him, I want you to tell Jae who did this to you. You're a smart man, 
you can figure it out." Rock held Choi still while carving the blades 
lower and tearing Choi's stomach apart.

Just then, Chang walked into the room. "Choi, do you know where I left 
the TV Gui-- holy shit, Choi!"

Rock freed Choi and let him drop to the ground. He smirked at Chang 
and walked away. Chang grabbed him by the cape-like scarf.

"Where do you think you're going, buster?! ...And why are you wearing 
May Lee's cape?"

"Guys, take care of this joke."

Stone and Sakura ran at Chang, who immediately gripped his heart. 
"No... not now... must... fight it..." The behemoth pounded on his 
chest for a moment and stood straight up. He glanced at the two young 
fighters and bolted back to the room where he came from.

"What a coward!" Stone laughed. "Come on, Sakura. Let's go break the 
door down and kick his ass anyway."

But as they neared the door, it sprung open and Chang jumped back out, 
wielding his trusty iron ball. He used this ball to launch Stone 
across the room. Then he grabbed Sakura by the ankle and slammed her 
back and forth.

"You're all really *fucked* now!"

He smacked the charging Stone out of his attempt at an attack and 
turned around to crush Sakura. The schoolgirl met him with Shoryuken 
to the chin. Chang staggered a little and took a Hadoken to the gut. 
Then a Blitzball to the back. Rock's associates began to play Pong, 
using Chang's body. He needed to do something quick to save his skin. 
Every second he got attacked was a second taken away from saving 
Choi's life.

But he felt he could still win the fight. Other than his unorthodox 
Tae Kwon Do skills, he had a special power that Kim told him never, 
ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER to use unless it was an absolute 
emergency.

Chang ducked one of Sakura's jump kicks, putting the three young ones 
on the same side. Chang breathed deeply with intense anger. He dropped 
his iron ball to the floor. He grabbed onto the chains he wore and 
tore them to pieces. Then he grasped his shirt and tore it open, 
revealing his hideously hairy chest and belly. Stone, Sakura and even 
Rock (who was now wearing the talon gloves) all looked mildly 
concerned.

"And now..." Chang growled, hunched over. "ANGRY TICKS FIRE OUT OF MY 
NIPPLES!!"

He arched back and spread out his arms. A huge swarm of ticks 
discharged out of the large man's chest and went after the trio who 
immediately ran away shrieking. They jumped out the window and climbed 
down the fire escape. It's not sure whether they ran because they were 
being eaten alive by ticks or because what they saw was the epitome of 
"fucked up." But they left Chang to deal with the dying Choi.

"Choi!" he yelled as he kneeled over to his friend and cradled him in 
his arms. "What did they do to you?!"

"Not... going to make... it..."

"That's crazy talk! Just hold on, buddy!"

"Kim... I see him, Chang... I can see Kim..."

"Choi, don't go! You're my best friend!"

"Bye... Chang. You were... the best..."

Chang's tears made his beard look like a wet mop. "Who did this? Who 
did this!?"

"It was... R... R... Ro..." Choi fell limp in Chang's arms let out a 
final breath.

"NO!" Chang let him down and pounded his fist into the floor. "NO! No, 
no, no, no, no, no!"

He sat there, crying with his head down for a moment. But that cry 
soon became a growl of rage. He looked up and had the guise of 
vengeance in his eyes. He again began to breath deeply and stood up. 
He picked up his iron ball and stared at it, looking at his own 
reflection. He held the ball out and then smashed himself in the head 
with it five times. Neither his skull nor the ball was dented. Then he 
held the ball over his head and let out a scream that everyone in the 
three-block radius could hear clearly.

"I KNOW NOW WHAT I MUST DOOOO!"

Chang picked up the nearest phone and dialed several digits. "Hello!? 
Yeah, this is Chang Koehan at Kim Jae Hoon's apartment. My best friend 
Choi just died and I need you to get here as fast as possible. ...Yes, 
I realize that you're a burger delivery joint. Don't you guys have 
some kind of 'dead friend' discount? You don't?! Well fuck you too!" 
He hung up. "Insensitive prick."

[---]

In a movie theater, Jae put his arm around his Nameless Everpresent 
Girlfriend's shoulder. She adjusted his arm to somewhere lower. Then 
she inserted her hand somewhere into Jae's dobok. They sat there, 
watching the remastered version of Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture. Now 
with a digitally inserted Rick Strowd!

"You looked so cute back then," NEG told Jae.

"Thanks. It's really an actor, though. And he was in his thirties. The 
mouth on him... Oh, here's my dad's big scene."

"Shhh!" Scorpion yelled from two seats back.

"Sorry."

Together, Jae and NEG watched as Kim took a beating from cyborg Cheng, 
got back up, then kicked his ass just as badly. Kim won and the good 
guys left to begin their journey.

"So is that it?" NEG asked.

Jae stood up. "Yep. The rest is just the four heroes doing their 
thing. Dad only had that one scene." The two left the theater.

Two seats back, Kyo/Clay spied the couple. Jae seemed familiar to him. 
Like he saw him recently and it infuriated him. He then remembered the 
events of the night before and decided to go trail them.

"Shang, I need to take a dump. Be right back."

"Thanks for telling me."

Outside, Jae and NEG walked down the empty street. It was pretty late 
and that specific road was barren as usual.

"This has been the best day off ever," Jae smiled. "Just you and me 
and--"

"ME!"

"Huh?" Jae turned around to see Clay9999 staring daggers into him. "Do 
I know you?"

"I saw you on TV last night. You were cavorting with Battler Man, 
weren't you? WEREN'T YOU?!"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it cavorting. I..."

"SHUT UP! I hate Battler Man! He made me what I am! That dipshit 
tossed Dagget Brand Face Clay into my NESTS capsule while I had yet to 
be born! He made me a freak! And because of that, he and everyone he 
holds dear will pay!"

"That's a nice story," Jae said back. "What does it have to do with 
me?"

"I'm going to kill you, you idiot!"

"No you won't!" NEG taunted. "Because Jae is unbeatable!"

"Is that so?!" Clay9999 sprang at Jae and received a kick into the 
gut. The foot actually went through Clay's body and didn't seem to 
cause much pain.

"The hell?" Jae exclaimed

Clay9999 slid off and called for his move with the convenient name, 
"SHUT UP!" He slid at Jae with his arm as a drill. Jae quickly dodged 
it and roundhouse kicked Clay9999 into a wall. With no place to go, 
Clay9999 was a target for many rapid kicks to the face and chest. He 
grabbed the gooey opponent and tossed him over his shoulder. One splat 
later, Clay9999 got back up and growled.

"This is going to be harder than I thought," he said to himself.

"Clay, I found you!" a familiar voice said.

"Angel?!"

Yes, it was Angel. From far away at night it looked like she was in 
her regular outfit. But closer up, one could tell that she was really 
wearing loose, cut-up pieces of black, plastic garbage bags, held onto 
her by a series of tight rubber bands.

"Hi, Clay! You forgot your wallet! Oh, and I made this outfit! Isn't 
it cute?"

"Forget about that! Help me beat this guy!"

"Thanks for the gratitude." 

Angel ran at Jae, but NEG stood in her way. "Oh, no you don't. If you 
want to fight Jae you have to get past me f--"

NEG went down to an axe kick.

Angel continued running at Jae. She slid under a thrust kick and spun 
Jae away with a throw, using her legs. Then she stood up and adjusted 
her wedgie.

Hey, I'm just looking out for you.

Jae reacted with a sweep, taking down Angel. He stood up and rushed 
Clay9999, who merely blasted Jae back with a wave of flame. Jae didn't 
fall, but it did leave him open for Angel to turn him around, slug him 
in the gut, and then punch him in the face. Jae was in desperate need 
of help, but his Girlfriend wasn't much of a fighter.

But she was still conscious from Angel's attack and crawled over to 
stop her. As she neared Angel, who was still beating on Jae, she 
reached up to pull her back. But her strength gave out and she fell 
back over, to the sound of stretching and tearing. Before going under, 
NEG noticed she had something black in her hand.

Angel shoved Jae into Clay9999 to take care of, and looked down. That 
damn girl tore off the bottom half of her outfit, ruining her hard 
work. "You really did it now, you bitch!" Angel stormed away and 
walked over to a pile of garbage cans. "This fight is OVER!" she 
yelled before she picked up two lids and pressed them on each side of 
her body.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Clay9999 screamed with one foot on 
Jae's chest.

"According to you, I'm not decent right now. Your stupid rules say I 
have to go back home. So tell me how it all turns out, 'kay?" Angel 
took off running in the opposite direction.

"No, wait!" he protested. "I still need your help in... ah, 
nevermind."

During this fight, a mysterious figure watched on from the shadows, 
with his arms behind his back. He intently studied the two remaining 
fighters and pondered.

Clay9999 turned his arm into a shotgun and pointed it down at Jae's 
face. Jae's eyes opened up followed by his mouth, which showcased his 
uber bright teeth. Clay9999 stepped back and covered his eyes. But he 
was still able to block Jae's kick and fight back by clocking him over 
the head with his gun-arm.

Jae lost the ability to focus after that shot. He saw no less than a 
dozen Clay9999s coming at him, spiraling around.

"So you want a piece of me, HUH!? Well I'll let you have a piece of 
me. I'll let you have a whole CHUNK OF ME!" Clay9999 extended his 
right arm and launched it at Jae. It became much longer, much thicker, 
and far less human looking. It was just a big pile of brown clay. And 
it crushed Jae into a brick wall like a high-pressure water hose.

"Come on, smiley! You're just putty in my hands! HEHEHEHEHE!"

He was then tapped on the shoulder.

"Angel, did you forget where we live again?"

Another tap.

"I stored my wallet in my chest, okay?"

Another tap.

Clay retracted his arm and turned around.

"WHAT!?"

"It's unethical to sin in front of a priest, lad."

Elias lifted his hand into the air and the upper half of his body 
became engulfed within a circle of flame, which blasted Clay9999 in 
the face. Clay's face immediately hardened and he fell back. Elias 
grabbed him from off the ground by the collar and slugged him 
repeatedly in the stomach. The final blow knocked him fifteen feet 
back.

Clay9999 looked to Elias. Then he looked at Jae. Then he turned back 
into Kyo and ran for it. He hoped it wasn't a total loss and that he 
could get back to the theater before the Geese/Billy scene came up.

"He ran away," Jae said.

"Of course," Elias told him. "It was four to one."

"Four?"

"Of course, lad. You, your lady friend, myself and..." Elias pulled 
out a crucifix necklace.

Jae shrugged. "Fair enough. Who are you?"

"My name is Patrick Elias. What can I call you?"

"My name is Kim Jae Hoon. This is my Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend."

Elias raised his right eyebrow. "'Kim'? Would you by any chance be 
related to Kim Kaphwan?"

"He was my father."

Elias looked in the direction where Clay9999 was running. 
"Interesting. I'm afraid that man we just defeated may be going to get 
friends. We should finish this conversation at my church. Help up your 
Girlfriend and follow me."

"If you say so."

[---]

The burning flames of Hell weren't the only reason why Daniel J. 
D'Arby was sweating bullets. At first he seemed to be winning over 
Blackheart pretty easily. But then in one game, where D'Arby got a 
hand of four Jacks, Blackheart seemed to be just as confident.

D'Arby was an expert at reading people's faces, but he forgot to take 
in consideration that Blackheart didn't have much in terms of facial 
features. Not to mention that D'Arby didn't have any advantages when 
he was out of his element. If he were still in Egypt, he'd have enough 
cronies to help him cheat. But instead, he was in Blackheart's domain 
and he was in the middle of one of his most tense games of poker ever.

The pot was stacked to a size equal to the Juggernaut. D'Arby went to 
toss in another chip, but he realized he was out of souls.

"I... uh... I'm out!"

"No, D'Arby. You have one six more chips to play."

"S-six? Where?"

"Your soul, D'Arby. Bet your own soul for once. Heh heh heh."

Daniel didn't have much of a choice. It was all or nothing. "Okay. 
I'll... I'll gamble my soul on this bet."

Blackheart hissed. "Goooood."

"My hand is..."

"Heh heh heh heh..."

Daniel trembled. The fear of Blackheart owning his soul began to take 
over. He tried to turn over his cards, but the insidious laughter 
caused him to shake.

"My hand is..."

"Heh heh heh heh..."

"MY HAND IS... MY... ACK!"

The stress was too much. D'Arby broke down and fell off his chair. His 
mind had accepted his defeat, despite what his cards may have been. 
Blackheart pulled in all the chips and cackled.

"FOOL!"

"I didn't want this..." D'Arby said to nobody in particular. "I just 
wanted a couple easy souls... I didn't want this..."

"D'Arby, stand!"

With fear of what would happen if he didn't, Daniel stood up to 
attention.

"I have a proposition for you. I will let you have your soul back, as 
well as many of the souls in that pot, if you do something for me."

He already had nothing to lose. "Y-yes, Blackheart. Anything."

"I want you and your Stand to go back to South Town and search for the 
Elemental Spirits and those who control them. When you do, bring them 
here and you will become whole once again."

"Yes, I will do that, Bl-Blackheart. But first you should probably 
tell me what these Elemental Spirits are."

The demon looked down and nodded. He proceeded to explain few details 
of his plan without giving away everything.

Meanwhile, two tables away, Lord Raptor listened intently. He 
scribbled down notes on a dismembered human hand and smiled. Then 
again, he always smiled.

*click*

I-no sighed. "Your turn, love."

"Oy, thanks I-no." Lord Raptor held the pistol to the side of his head 
and pulled the trigger.

*BANG!*

Blue goop came out the side of his head. "Darn. You won again."

"Want another game?"

"Like I need another hole in my head. Heh. Know what I mean?"

[---]

In Ecuador, Ryu reluctantly explained to Dan for the 456th time about 
how he defeated Sagat.

"So then with the evil surge in my body, I tore a wound into his chest 
with a Shoyruken and won the match. It was then that I learned that 
the bear is as tenacious as the diner that invites him."

"That's a cool story and all," Dan said, "but there's one thing I 
don't get."

"Oh?"

"In Blade 2, how can you tell who's a real actor and who's CGI?"

Ryu blinked.

One hour later...

It's weird how prisoners are allowed VCRs in their cells. Ryu and Dan 
were at the time watching as Wesley Snipes took on a group of 
blood-sucking reapers.

Dan pointed at the screen. "Okay, so that's CGI."

"No, that's a real actor."

"Gotcha. Now that guy is CGI."

"No, that's also a real actor."

"Oh, I see. So that monster there is an actor."

"No, Dan! It's CGI!"

Dan laid back. "Eh, who cares. This movie looks so fake and its plot 
is so predictable."

"That is your opinion, Dan. But the fight scenes are amazing to 
behold."

"Yeah, but--"

"Dan, the fight is all."

"Yeah, yeah. You know... I saw a shirt saying that when I was doing 
the laundry the other day. Crazy, huh?"

"Yeah... Crazy."

[---]

"So you knew my dad?" Jae asked while downing some hot chocolate.

"We've met at conventions a couple times. I never got to know him too 
well. But we did have plenty of mutual respect towards each other's 
work."

"You reform criminals too?"

"Not exactly. More like the possessed. Currently I'm trying to help a 
little girl named Alice. She's a nice little lass."

"Where is she?" NEG wondered.

"I'm... not exactly sure. But I'm sure she's fine."

[---]

Alice, with a glazed look in her eyes, walked up to Polnareff.

"Hello, little girl. You shouldn't be out so late."

Alice, without warning, grabbed Polnareff by the stomach, tore a good 
chunk of it out, beat the Frenchman in the head with it until he died, 
wore it as a hat, and started waving her arms around, yelling, "I AM 
THE QUEEN OF FRANCE!"

[---]

"She's such an angel," Elias smiled.

"So thanks for helping us out, back there, Father. But I think we lost 
that Play Dough guy and his friends. Me and my Girlfriend are probably 
going to take off once she finishes calling my Uncle Choi."

"Not a problem, lad. I should probably be getting to sleep as well. 
Tomorrow is Sunday. Busy day for me." Elias stared upward. "You have a 
brother, do you not?"

"Yeah, Dong Hwan. But he's a slacker. I mean, he's very talented, but 
he's as sharp as a baseball bat."

"Jae!" NEG screamed, running into the cathedral. "Choi's been 
murdered!"

"What?!"

"Chang wants us to meet him at Park World. Let's go, quick, before 
they close!" She ran off.

Jae nodded at Elias. "I guess I'll see you later. Thanks again!" He 
scrambled out the building.

"I'm sure you will, Jae. I'm sure you will." Elias took a deep sigh 
and looked up into a stained glass window. "'Mysterious ways', 
indeed."

[---]

"Rugal tried to make a statue out of Honda, but ran out of casting 
material!"

"E. Honda? I hear he goes by 9'5", 1005 pounds!"

"E. Honda rocks the body that rocks the party!"

"E. Honda can eat something just by looking at it real hard!"

"He knows the Muffin Man!"

"The Iron Giant was based on E. Honda's friendship with Hinako!"

"He turns to stone on Labor Day!"

"A meteor was once coming down to earth. E. Honda jumped up and down 
until Earth moved out of the way!"

"TO E. HONDA!"

[---]

Mayor Rodriguez liked to take time to stand on his office's front lawn 
and practice katas. It really seemed to calm him down, taking away the 
stress of being the mayor of such a hectic city. It's a shame he did 
it with his eyes closed or he would have seen the vandalizing of his 
property.

"What's this!?" he screamed, realizing the graffiti. "'Butt smells 
like butt'?! Rotten kids!"

[---]

Jae and NEG finally made it to Park World at the same time Chang's 
Volkswagon Van parked. The large Korean man came out of the car with 
Choi's dead body in his hands, covered with a blanket.

"...Ch-Choi?" Jae choked.

"You shouldn't look, kid. It's not for young eyes. Let's just him 
inside this... burning... building."

Yes, that's right. Park World was nothing but flames. The three 
Koreans stared at its blaze in awe. Chang almost dropped Choi's corpse 
then and there.

Pantsless Yuri Sakazaki ran by and was overcome by shock. "Wha-what 
the fuckity fuck happened here!?"

Jae looked her up and down. "What is it with all the women being naked 
from the waist down tonight?"

Robert Garcia ran through the black smoke and immediately coughed into 
Yuri's face. Then he began to cry into her shoulder.

"It's gone! It's all gone!"

"What happened?" Jae demanded.

"Some guys came in. They said they were reporters. But then one of 
them disappeared and turned into a big floating ball. The other kept 
smashing things up without even using his hands. It's a miracle I even 
got away. But still, they destroyed my Park World! Bastards! That 
wasn't 'Garcia's', you bastards! THAT WASN'T 'GARCIA'S'!"

"Goddammit, you're fucking screaming in my fucking ear, fucker!"

"Then that means," Jae looked at the covered dead body. "Choi's 
really dead. He's gone like dad."

"Can't you rebuild it?" NEG asked.

"Not a chance. It would take years at the very least. And what would 
be the use? So somebody could destroy it again? No, Park World is 
gone. The only thing left is JP Polnareff's pod, and that's DNA 
specific. There's nothing we can do for your midget. Come on, Yuri. 
Let's go bathe in hundred dollar bills."

As the two walked away, Jae, NEG and Chang continued their silence.

"He's gone..." Chang sighed.

"Who did this, Chang? I need to know. Was it Freeman?"

"No. This is somebody else, I think. I couldn't see his face and Choi 
died before he could tell me. All I know is that he was wearing May 
Lee's cape. And he was hanging out with Sakura and somebody I ain't 
never seen."

Jae sniffed in sadness. "We should probably go see Elias about burying 
him. Let's go, guys."

Chang was confused. "Elias who?"

"I'll explain on the way."

Chang groaned. "I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."

As the three got into Chang's car, JP Polnareff left the dead Park 
World with his own personal pod. He moved at a snail's pace trying to 
escape. In fact, he died three times trying to get out.

"God, this is heavier than it looks."

He tripped on a rock.

*CRUNCH*

Polnareff walked out of the pod and sighed. "Why couldn't I get a 
closer apartment?" he whined.

[---]

And there ends another episode of Forgot About Jae. Hope you liked it.

First off, thanks go out to black dub, OgOpOgO- and Keio for 
prereading. And also the eDANgelist for helping out yet AGAIN with 
the idea for the Ryu/Dan scene. Various Honda quotes came from: me, 
OgOpOgO-, Keio, Darkheart, Zrith and O. Hakubi. And also thanks to 
Steven Scougall and Burghy for help on what moves Elias does. He's 
from Rage of the Dragons, if you didn't know.

When writing this chapter, I wanted to have Rock go after Choi for his 
talons. Then the idea came to me of having Rock murder Choi in order 
to solidify him more as a threat to Jae and as a villain. But then I 
realized that Choi could easily be brought back through the Park World 
gimmick. That discouraged me until I noticed that we don't really need 
Park World anymore. When it was introduced, it was used for two 
reasons: bring back Polnareff and bring back Akuma. While it's still 
fun to kill off Polnareff, Akuma has grown out of his old gimmick and 
into "The Buddy Gouki". So to be quite honest, Park World has worn out 
its welcome and it's time to say goodbye. Or, well, that's how I feel 
about it.

Besides, it helps separate FAJ from that other Kimpro :)

Up next is FAJ first timer Keio. And in preparation, he's been in the 
basement drinking nothing but espresso for five hours. Take it away, 
Keio!

Gavin "Gavok" Jasper
Half Horse Productions
http://www.rit.edu/~gjj2192/hol

Yes, you heard me. Angry ticks fire out his nipples.

[---]

Kyo Kusanagi came to in them middle of a garbage dump, somewhere in 
Liberty City. He started wading through a never-ending river of ET 
Atari cartridges and snarled.

"That shokan is so fucking fired."

A green stalk with a red eye popped out from the garbage-filled water 
and roared at Kyo. He turned around to see it moving back under.

"Don't start with me!"