Station Square was filled with excitement, as Perfect Chaos and Dr. Robotnik had been defeated by a bunch of rodents and a robot. Unfortunately, the robot exploded and turned into a bird. Go figure. Anyway, Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails Prower, Big the Cat and Amy sat in a car, waving to onlookers in a parade to celebrate their victory. Big the Cat held up his pet frog and smiled. A tear went down his cheek. "I never thought I'd be so glad to be back home." Tails began to cry too. "You said it! I hope this gladdity never ends!" Amy gave them a wink and smiled cutely. "It won't. For sure. We are the best, aren't we?" "Is that so?" Out of the crowd walked Knuckles the Echidna. His climactic battle with Chaos 6 rendered him with a broken arm. He walked over to them with his head down. Tails seemed surprised. "Kn-Knuckles!" Sonic zipped over and gave a fake Seinfeld-meeting-Newman smile. "Oh... uh, Knuckles! Glad you could make it!" Knuckles copied the smile. "Congratulations, Sonic." "I owe it all to you, Knux." "Just because I stayed out of your fight with Perfect Chaos? I always knew you were jealous of your superiors." Sonic grew pissed. "Well don't get testy!" Big the Cat and Tails watched as Sonic and Knuckles erupted in a cartoon dust cloud. "Uh oh," they both said. Amy basked in the glow of the celebration. Nothing could ruin her day. Big the Cat and Tails looked at her and smiled. "The reason we won," Big said, "was because of Amy." "You said it." [---] Choi Bounge suddenly woke up, covered in a cold sweat. He threw on his sunglasses and took a couple deep breaths. "I had that dream again!" He reached out and searched for the remote. "Why Tails must I be?" He found the controller and turned on the TV. That one kids show was on. [---] Shao Kahn stood ominously on the television screen with his fists to his sides. Before him was a series of numbers followed by fine print. His eyes were red and glowing and his body seemed to be huge without an ounce of body fat. "So, pathetic mortals! If you want to talk to I, the great dictator of Outworld, when I am not on the air, I demand that you speak on your petty telephones and call the Shao Kahn Hotline at 1-900-SKULL-MASK! Until then, sweet dreams, young ones! Tomorrow on Shao Kahn's Slap Happy Circus Fun House I will bestow upon you a series of adorable balloon animals! And I shall torture them until they willingly allow me to take their lives! Mwahahahahaha! Excellent!" He waved his hand awkwardly, as if it was a stage direction given to him by the director. "Farewell!" The crowd cheered and the credits scrolled. Meanwhile, the muffled voice of Motaro narrated, "Don'tcalltheShaoKahnHotlinewithoutyour- parents'permission," but it was really fast and hardly decipherable. Finally, the cameras turned off. "That shall hold those pitiful S.O.B.s!" [---] A little boy, watching at home, studied the number. "Hey, sis! Let's call it!" The boy's sister, roughly around the same age, agreed. "Yeah!" She grabbed the phone and looked at the screen. "Put that phone down!" a superhero in red and blue spandex with black webs demanded. "Wow!" the boy said in shock. "It's the Spectacular Spider-Man!" A second super being entered the room. Larger than Spider-Man, the figure was black and white with a giant set of fangs. "And look!" the girl screamed with joy. "It's Venom, the Lethal Protector!" Another body walked in. This guy was a brown-skinned hombre with a black, bushy mustache and clad in full boxing gear. The boy pointed at the boxer. "It's former boxing champion Bald Bull!" "Hiya, kids." Venom looked over their shoulder with a look of annoyance. "Get out of here!" Bald Bull sulked and walked away with his head down. Spidey shook his head. "Anyway, kids, it's not cool to call 900 numbers without your parents' permission." "Yeah!" agreed Venom. "It's unfair to your parents. Those 900 numbers take a Venom-sized bite out of their wallets. So it's a good idea to ask permission like the evil centaur suggested." The girl put down the phone and huffed. "You're right. We're sorry Spider-Man and Venom." "Yeah," the brother added. "We did wrong. But now we know." Venom nodded. "And knowing is half the bat-- wait! What the fuck are we doing here?!" "Language, Eddie!" "Sorry, Spider. But shouldn't we be fighting real crime? Like stopping Carnage and Shriek from killing hordes of innocents or beating up that chunky mad scientist with the metal tentacles and the Moe Howard haircut?" "Yeah, yeah." The two arachnid crusaders exited the house. The kids shrugged and began to watch Cooking with Vectorman. Spider-Man continued. "It's vital for true superheroes to teach kids right from wrong sometimes. It comes with the territory. But then again, you wouldn't understand since you're not even a true superhero." "Whoa, back up there, Gilligan. We're superheroes! We fight crime, beat up the bad guys, etc. What more do you want from us?" "You're not a true superhero, Eddie." "Why the fuck not?!" "You *eat* *brains*!" Venom shrugged. "Yeah! We eat *evil* brains! Now we understand that Mary Jane has you whipped and you're not allowed to eat meat, but you have to realize that--" "What about last Tuesday?" "What about last Tuesday?" Venom asked back. "At Joe Higashi's party?" "We don't know what you're talking about." "You *ate* Terry Bogard's *brain*!" "Ohhhhh! That! You're still bitching about that?" "You ate Terry Bogard's brain!" Venom sighed. "We keep telling you, we didn't eat the whole thing! We just... had a nibble." "A nibble?" "Yeah, man. Just a small piece. You're overreacting." "Overreacting?" Spider-Man exclaimed. "You ate Terry Bogard's brain!" "We ate a piece of his brain! It wasn't even an important piece. He still knows how to read and who his friends are and stuff." Spider-Man finally calmed down. "Oh. Huh." The two continued to walk down the sidewalk. The buildings were too low and far apart to swing from. "So, what part of the brain did you eat?" "That's not important." "Uh, yes it is." "It's a trivial thing, really." "Eddie..." "Listen, it's no big deal!" "What part was it?" "The part that tells him how to..." The rest of their words were mumbled as they trailed off. "Eddie!" "Fine! We ate the part of his brain that tells him how to stop doing his Burn Knuckle move! There! Now shut up and get off our back!" Spider-Man continued walking as he scratched his head. He needed to digest that information before he could respond with something witty. Far behind the heroes, a screaming Terry Bogard zoomed by with his fist out. "What was that?" Spidey wondered aloud. "We're sure it was nothing." "How long before we can start swinging? I promised to bring MJ out to dinner tonight." "Not sure." "Perfect. Just perfect." Just then, a screaming Slash ran through the background, chased by a series of giant spheres with faces. "Did you...?" "Nope." In that same area behind them, two military men angrily wrestled each other across the street. "Give me back the glasses, Ralf!" "Fuck you, Clark!" As they rolled away, Spidey looked up at Venom's toothy grin. "Should we...?" "Eh, let them be." "Suits me." Mai and Ayane, in the midst of a similar struggle, passed by in the background. Only instead of rolling, they bounced by like a kickball. Spider-Man paused. "My spider sense is telling me I should check that out." "Don't you spray enough white goo as it is?" "Maybe you're right-- Hey!" [---] FORGOT ABOUT JAE Chapter 22: Just a Nibble Story walked so it can go to the bathroom by Shelby Scott, aka the Darkheart One Chapter shoved off a tall building by Gavin "Gavok" Jasper [---] Last time on Forgot About Jae: - Roll... uh... pass. - Cracker Jack saw to it that Bomberman met up with Violence. Unlimited. Yes. - Rock Howard and friends beat up Casey Jones, who also has the initials "CJ" and likes to use sports sticks as weapons. - Roll... I mean, what the fuck? - The Driver, who could possibly have the initials of "CJ", though it's far fetched, could finally scratch his nose. - Candle Jack, whose initials are definitely "CJ", didn't do a thing. I just mentioned him because patterns are choice. And Freakazoid was a great show. - Roll... No, seriously. What the fuck? - Here's the story! Of a guy named Bowser! And he was living with seven kids all of his own! They all had pointy shells, like their father. But they were all alone! - Mai says, "Me bouncy!" - Ayane says, "That's the problem, bitch!" [---] Seth, Guile, Ken Masters, Rainbow Mika, Sie Kensou, Benimaru Nikkaido, and a bikini-clad Athena sat around a table filled with many empty beer mugs. And if you can't figure out what they were talking about by now, you haven't been paying attention. For shame! Ken nodded at Benimaru's story. "If it wasn't E. Honda, I wouldn't have believed it!" "E.Honda once ate an entire truckload of hamburger patties, and puked up whole cows!" "They say it was E. Honda scat that drove Dr. Baldhead to insanity!" "He broke Aeris' nose and used the blood as his face paint!" "He hires Gen-an to shave his back!" "The Russians stole his sumo thong and tried to harness its power!" "Honda provides homeless forest creatures a home in his belly button!" "Honda once destroyed a bus while looking for the cream filling!" "He converted the Blacknoah into a toilet!" "TO E. HONDA!" Anyway, I believe we have a cliffhanger to deal with. [---] It was only a week or so before the whole Giga Bowser incident. Ultros wandered into Violence Unlimited Headquarters with a pile of envelopes. "Mail call, everybody!" "Anything for me?" Jae's Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend asked. "Yeah, but I want to give Fuuma this letter first. It's freezing!" Fuuma squeezed out of a desk and snatched the letter. This contained complications as it had frozen to Ultros' tentacle. After about ten seconds, it finally tore off, accompanied with a scream from the purple octopus. Fuuma stood up, opened the envelope and found two pieces of paper. One was text, the other a photo. The photo excited the ninja as he realized just who wrote the letter. "Dear Fuuma, It warmed my heart (just kidding!) to read all those letters you sent to me. All 488 letters. And none of them said a thing about that infernal song that's been driving me mad for the last decade! Without a doubt, you're my biggest fan, and I thank you for it. But you have more than my gratitude, my friend. You have my protection. That's right, Fuuma. Whenever you're in trouble, I will always be there. I will always have your back. And together, we will tear the spine out of the forces of evil. Your hero, Sub-Zero P.S.: I have enclosed an autographed picture of myself." Fuuma teared up on the spot and clutched the autographed print. He quickly ran over to Hugo to show him. "Look, Hugo! I got Sub-Zero's autograph! Sub-Zero! My sixth favorite ninja ever!" Hugo, barely paying attention, grabbed the picture of the ninja, inserted it into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. He gave a deep grunt in satisfaction. "Hugo, no! That was not cool! That was Sub-Zero's autograph! Don't you know how long I've wanted that?! And you just ate it like it was a bagel! What the hell is wrong with-- how did it taste?" Hugo shrugged. "Rggrlffl." "Huh." Fuuma stared at the letter. He folded it up and shoved it into his mouth. After some chewing to the tune of crumpling, he swallowed and smiled. "That's not bad." Hugo nodded. "But I'm still hungry. Doesn't Cracker Jack have a copy of War and Peace somewhere around here?" Hugo stood up from his chair and followed Fuuma to CJ's bookshelf. Both smiled. [---] Fuuma woke up in Hugo's arms. He snapped out of his Twisted Metal Black-like dream sequence/flashback with a look of determination. "Sub-Zero will save us. I know he will!" With that, he pounced out of Hugo's arms and ran in the direction of Giga Bowser. Cracker Jack sighed. "There has to be a gas leak at HQ. There just has to be." [---] Giga Bowser loomed over Jae and lifted up his foot. Before the stain- inducing stomp, he heard a daring shout for attention. "Why don't you try picking on me, Mr. Pants!" Fuuma marched over to the annoyed Giga Bowser. At first he looked sure of himself. But as he looked around, he became worried. There was no sign of Sub-Zero. He promised he'd be there. But then again, where was Sub-Zero when the other ninjas attacked earlier? And what about against Iggy Koopa? Was our story's second most important character (the first being Brian Battler) about to meet his end? Maybe not! A chill filled the air. Even Giga Bowser shivered for a second. And far away, stepping out from the old wreckage, was Sub-Zero himself. He looked different than how most knew him. He was without his ninja mask, showing his bare face. He had a blue, squiggly scar going down his right eye. His hair had gone gray and he seemed more aged and wrinkled than one would expect. In fact, he almost looked like he could be Takuma Sakazaki's brother. But he was there, staring in the general direction of Giga Bowser's carnage. With a look that was grizzled, badass and even heroic, Sub-Zero advanced. Fuuma was speechless with joy. But Sub-Zero sure took his sweet ass time making his way over to the battle. Giga Bowser began to lose his patience. But Sub-Zero was almost halfway there. Though he slowed down even more to high-five some spectators. But he kept getting closer to the battle. Only then, he started signing some autographs and posed for the fans. "Sub-Zero, help me!" Subby was too busy asking a kid if his name was spelled "J-O-N" or "J-O-H-N". Jae, who was kicking Giga Bowser's leg, agreed. "Sub-Zero, help him!" "To hell with him!" Giga Bowser boomed. He took a deep breath and spewed fire in the direction of Fuuma. The screams of pain didn't even register for Sub-Zero, who was busy shaking hands with a little boy. Meanwhile, another chilly warrior was in the area. Bad Mr. Frosty, to be exact. And he wasn't looking very happy. "Chu Chu! Where are you, babe!? Baby, where are you?!" The heat from the lizard's breath reduced the snowman to slush. He angrily concentrated and brought his body back to its regular state. "That's not cool!" he grunted. He looked up at the dragon and spread out his arms. "ENUCH CHUCK!" The man of snow grew to the same size as Giga Bowser and smiled. "Chill out, hothead!" He transformed into a giant snowball and clashed with Giga Bowser, knocking him back. The response was not what he expected. Bowser grabbed Frosty, bit into him, and then discarded him like a piece of trash. He looked back at Fuuma. Fuuma was running around on fire, screaming for someone to help him. Sub-Zero was still far away, interacting with onlookers and ignoring the burning ninja. Luckily, Hugo had followed Fuuma into the battle. To help out his friend, Hugo stomped down the charred moron until the flames were ultimately smothered. "Hrrrllltt?" "I've been better..." Hugo looked up at Giga Bowser and summoned with a wave of both hands. "C'MMNN!" he almost clearly demanded. Giga Bowser leapt high into the air and shrouded Hugo and Fuuma with his large shadow. Rear-first, he dove down onto his prey. The former wrestler picked up Fuuma and tossed him away, accidentally throwing him into Jae. Hugo ran for his life and dove from the falling monster. *CRASH!* The shockwave of Giga Bowser's attack caused Fuuma and Jae to go flying. Bowser gave an insane smile as he sat on the crushed pavement. He was satisfied as yet another rival fell to his power. But something felt wrong. He felt a tugging sensation from his tail area. It started as nothing. But it became more apparent. By the third tug he shifted a little to the left. Then he shifted even more to the right. Then there was a long pause. The next tug sent him airborne. Giga Bowser was off the ground and was spinning in the air by his tail. And at his tail was Hugo Andore, his pink shirt torn open by his bulging muscles. With a stressed look, he gave his enemy quite a ride, spinning him around like a big, spiky lasso. The giant Bad Mr. Frosty finally found his way back to the battle with a pleased look on his face. "Send him my way, Muscle Man!" Hugo abided, and with a loud grunt, he released Giga Bowser from his grip. The reptile flew into the air and met with Frosty's foot. The force of the icicle-covered snow-foot knocked Giga Bowser high into the air and even out of the Earth's atmosphere. With an impact slightly audible on Earth, Giga Bowser landed on the moon. He stood back up and went on an empty rampage with nothing to crush and destroy. His wrath had been contained. But for how long? "ENUCH CHUCK!" Frosty shrunk back down. He walked away, continuing his search for Chu Chu. "I'm cool. I know I'm cool." As one iceman left, another appeared. Sub-Zero looked up at the sky and got into his fighting stance. Fuuma staggered and coughed smoke. "You're late, Sub-Zero." "What are you talking about, Fuuma? I just scared away that evil Giga Bowser with my incredible Tae Kwon Do abilities." Jae rubbed his aching neck. "You use Tae Kwon Do too?" "When I feel like it. I'm also an expert in Shotokan Karate." Sub-Zero changed the subject and put his cold hand on Fuuma's burning shoulder. The crazy ninja found it soothing, considering he was reduced to fried chicken. "But remember, Fuuma. I will always have your back. But now I'm off. Evil never sleeps, my friend." Sub-Zero gave a heroic, hearty laugh and ran off in a random direction. "There's something I don't like about that guy," Jae said as he scratched his chin. "Rhhrrh." "I don't know what you guys are talking about," Fuuma said back. "I think he's swell!" Jae tended his wounds. "Speaking of 'swell', I need an icepack that isn't full of himself." [---] "E. Honda licked Scorpion's face clean off! He had a full face when he rose from Hell!" "Scientists have turned his sweat into a high octane fuel... but no engine on earth can contain it!" "He blew into Eyedol's mouth until another head popped up!" "He won Twisted Metal with nothing but roller skates and a wet towel!" "He wrote the script to Leonard Part 6 on a series of cocktail napkins!" "E. Honda managed to single-handedly father a small European country!" "He fought the law and the law won!" "Goro Daimon fell into Honda's butt crack in 97 and found his way to freedom in 2001!" "TO E. HONDA!" [---] "Hehehehe. So how long is this going to take, Doc?" Dr. Abel continued working in his lab while a figure commanded him from the dark corner. "Soon, sir. But you have to be patient. DNA cloning technology hasn't been perfected yet. Just look at the NESTS Cartel." "I didn't ask the NESTS Cartel for help, did I?" The figure took a puff from his cigarette. "I hired you because you're the best, Dr. Abel. I've seen the work you've done for Mishima. I'm sure the final product's quality will be as good as one would expect from you. Heh. Hehe. HehehehahahahahAHAHAHAHA--*cough**cough**hack* Excuse me." "Please, can you put out that cigarette? I can hardly breathe nor see in here!" The Smoker stepped from out of the shadows, the thick, red cracks in his eyes being the only part of his face that had color. "I don't pay you to complain, Dr. Abel. Now finish up." "Yes, yes, very well. I'm almost done with these evil Battler Man clones." Dr. Abel coughed and searched for the steroid-like chemicals that would enhance the Battler Clones to Hulk-like strength. But with the potent smoke filling the room, he accidentally grabbed a vial labeled "Amphibian DNA" from a separate experiment all together. He poured it into one of his machines and pressed a blue button. "There. It should be complete in a week, Mr. Smoker. But I have to ask: Where did you get Battler Man's DNA? That is quite a feat!" "Hehehehehe. I didn't get it, Doc. His sidekick composed it and gave it to me willingly. Not that little Bao Wonder still knows that I still have some control over his pathetic little brain. HehehehehahahHOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Cowboy Prince of Crime and his mad scientist lackey laughed like madmen for about a minute until they both started hacking and coughing even louder. "Let's cackle in a room with a window in it," Abel suggested. "Good idea." [---] That was one week before. The Smoker and his loyal companion Mariah Net were back at Dr. Abel's lab. The doctor seemed a little uneasy. "It's been a week, Abel. I take it everything went as planned?" "Well... almost." The Smoker summoned the Emperor in his right hand in preparation. "Oh?" "There was a minor complication that altered Battler Man's DNA into something completely different." "How minor?" "Well, it's not a bad thing, mind you. It's just... well... meet your new henchmen." Abel pressed a remote control that opened up a metal door. Behind the door stood three men. Or what seemed like men at first glance. But instead they were three creatures, half-man/half- frog, dressed in football uniforms. And they all looked ready to kick some ass. "Smoker, Mariah Net, meet... the Battlertoads!" "Battlertoads?!" Mariah Net exclaimed. [---] Somewhere far away, the Dark Queen sneezed. Then she had a pillow fight with Angel, both of them in their underwear. I figured you'd probably want to know that. [---] "Yes, the Battlertoads. The green one with the long limbs and kicker mask is Blitz. The smaller one with the sunglasses and black stuff under his eyes is Rush. And the big, brown fellow is Fumble." Smoker looked them up and down. "Blitz, Rush and Fumble?" Blitz groaned. "The Doc wanted to call us Ball, Tackle and Sack, but we're not much for getting ridiculed with dick jokes." Mariah Net smiled and hugged Smoker's arm. "So should ya cap him, puddin', or do ya want me ta take him out?" "Neither, babe. Hehehe. This could work out. Hehehahaha! Yes! Come on, boys! We're gonna have fun today!" "We gonna kill Battler Man?" Fumble boomed. "Maybe. But we have to do something a lot more important first. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--*cough* Goddammit." [---] "Honda does a commentary track on the Rocky 3 DVD!" "Lilith got that way from breast feeding Honda!" "And Honda was 35!" "Cthulhu stared at E. Honda and went insane!" "He devoured Mr. Grimm because he thought it would be ironic!" "The fingerprint on his pinky is the splitting image of Rolento Schugerg with a beard!" "He was on the OJ jury!" "He committed barbercide!" "He smelted the Juggernaut's outfit out of his own by-products!" "TO E. HONDA!" [---] In the streets of South Town, a giant, tiger-striped menace with four arms named Kintaro stomped his way over to a fight. Across from him was a teenager with a long, blue coat and a hat covering part of his face. Jotaro Kujo kept his hands in his pockets despite the challenge that stood before him. Nobody knew why they were fighting, but it was widely believed that a last slice of pizza was involved. "Grrrr..." "Well, well." The Star Platinum popped out of Jotaro's back with its fists ready. Kintaro snarled. The Star Platinum made the first move. While Jotaro stood still, the invisible robot stand rushed Kintaro and smashed his fists into his face and chest, in rapid succession. "ORA! ORA! ORA! ORAAAAA!" Kintaro didn't even fall over. Though bleeding, he stormed past the stand and kicked Jotaro square in the chest. Jotaro's body dented a dumpster, but the Star Platinum pried him off. He smirked and casually stepped forward. "ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA!" "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" "Pickik!" "What did you say?" Jotaro asked. Kintaro just gave him a look of confusion. "Pickik!" There it was again. The two fighters looked around, wondering where that voice came from. Jotaro saw it first and pointed it out to Kintaro. It was some hamster, ^_^ing at them. "Pickik!" Jotaro and Kintaro looked down at Hamtaro. "Well, well." Jotaro looked at Kintaro with a smile. Kintaro returned the gesture. The Shokan General picked up the little hamster and held him in his hand. "^_^" went Hamtaro. "^_^" went Kintaro. "Let's do it," went Jotaro. Kintaro abided with a spit of flame. It fried Hamtaro and sent him off of Kintaro's palm. He soared through the air until he was bloodied by invisible fists. "ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORAAAAAAA!" The piece of meat that was once a hamster landed on the ground and twitched. A force ball, which came out of nowhere, landed on it and detonated it into many pieces. Jotaro and Kintaro looked away from Hamtaro and saw the mighty centaur Motaro. And for that one moment, the human, Shokan and centaur races were at peace with each other. And it was good. [---] In the far future, a satellite revolved around the earth, labeled "Time Posse". Inside, a mammoth man named Potemkin concentrated on an important battle. Sweat covered him as he planned his next attack. "Check." Kyosuke, pulled from the present years ago, moved his rook. "Checkmate." Cyrax the robot delivered a plate of cookies while clad in an apron. "I believe he got you again, Potemkin. What is that, 60, 70 games?" Potemkin put his elbow on the table and rested his unshaven chin. "68." He grabbed the white king and snapped its head off. "If this was boxin' or arm rasslin', Kyosuke here wouldn't had no chance." It's weird how a Zepp accent sounds exactly like a Texas one. "Oh, you're such a sore loser," the robot ninja laughed. "Gee, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Potemkin." "Nah, don't feel bad, kid. Let's go make some sammiches out ah cookies 'n' whipped cream." Suddenly an alarm went off. "Aw, man," Potemkin groaned. "That was gonna be mah breakfast." The three members of Time Posse gathered around a gigantic monitor, showing an image of Ryu with an accompanying label of "1987". Kyosuke looked up in awe. "Wow, it's Ryu! He's a pioneer in the great street fighting movement of the early nineties! After his victory over Sagat in 1987, he became one of the greatest fighters ever! I went to school with this one girl who was crazy about him!" "Yes," Cyrax stated. "I'm sure that goes without saying." "No, I mean she was really obsessed with him." "What, as in covering her wall with photos of him? That's perfectly normal for a teenage girl." "She made me wear only a red headband and a gi top when we did it!" "Well, then," Potemkin commented. "I'm no longer in the mood ta eat breakfast." "Hm," speculated Cyrax. "I wonder what could have gone wrong." Potemkin led them to the transporters. He adjusted his giant collar and flexed. "Welp, the history ain't gonna get fixed on its own. Let's go, Time Posse!" Cyrax pressed the button and they disappeared from their timeframe. [---] They reappeared inside a cave in the twenty-first century. A cave filled with green grass and yard markings on the walls. That's right, you guessed it: The Battler Cave. Though the Brian Battler standing in it wasn't the one we were familiar with. Instead he was gray and geriatric, barely able to stand. He was listening to the pleading rant of his latest ward, Freddy Gordo, son of Eddy and Christie. "What's your point, kid?" Old Man Brian asked. "Whenever I become Battler Man, I feel like I'm making up for all those fights I had no right in winning. I feel like it makes me a better person. It's what I want, Brian." The biting retired football player turned away in disgust. "Stupid kid. You don't know what you want. None of you ever did." Freddy began to tear up. He tossed away his duffle bag containing his Battler gear and stormed off. Walking on his hands. "And you pass like a girl." Battler stopped for a second. "Oh, wait. Bao DID know what he wanted. Did Moe? ...Yeah, she did. Guess I just pulled that line out of my ass. Ah well. Time for my mush and Jack Daniels." He looked to his right and saw the Time Posse staring at him. "Hey, ponytail guy. You want to become a superhero?" Kyosuke whispered to Cyrax. "I think you screwed up." "You're right. My mistake." The three disappeared from that time frame. [---] "Happy Birthday, Solid Snake!" Colonel Campbell repeated to his greatest agent. "Heh. Thanks, Colonel. I loved the presents, hats and games. That tailless donkey never even saw me coming. But to be honest, I'm kind of hungry." "Of course. Let me go get that cake. It's delicious. Vanilla ice cream with those little brown cookie things inside them. Now where did I put it?" Campbell saw a dirty plate covered in crumbs and some icing. Next to it was Raiden, passed out and bloated. The Colonel freaked out. "Cake? CAKE? CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!" [---] "E. Honda? He goes about 6'11", 800 pounds, right?" "He proclaimed Michael Flatley 'Lord of the Dance'. No one dares question this decision!" "NESTS tried to clone him, but they couldn't afford the food bill!" "He's Remy's dad!" Guile raised his glass. "Mine too!" "The riot in Woodstock '99 was his idea!" "He uses Necro as a condom!" "He thought the Run button was a good idea!" "TO E. HONDA!" [---] Stepping away from the story for a minute, I'd like to touch on the foul events from the last installment of Forgot About Jae. Namely, the Megaman/Roll luvluv scene. Indiemadnesse received a bevy of angry emails, letter bombs and threats on its life because of this scene. It has been decided that I, the current author, will retcon this wrongful scene into something decent that readers of all ages and tastes can enjoy. Now on with the motherfucker. "Oh! Oh! Oh, sis!" "Oh, Rock! Rock! R...Rock?" "What is it? Something wrong?" "Your face. It's... it's melting! Ew!" Yes, Megaman's face began to melt. And putty leaked onto Roll's naked arm. The Blue Bomber's face transformed and when it chose a new form... "Oh my God!" Roll exclaimed. "You're that--" "No, I'm not Tetsuo. I'm Clay9999. I can't believe this worked! Me! Doing it with Roll Light!" "Heh. Yeah, well..." Clay9999 turned his head for a second. When he looked back, he screamed like a banshee. Roll was gone. All that was left was a naked old dude with a long, white beard. "SHANG TSUNG!?" "Okay, this time you transform yourself into Princess Kitana and I'll..." "GAH!" Clay9999 jumped out of bed and ran screaming out into the hallway with the bed sheets wrapped around his waist. In the next room, Megaman held his hand and Buster behind his head and laid back. "Did you hear something?" Roll woke up next to him. "Huh? No. Go back to sleep." ...........Goddammit. I messed up. Just forget it. Moving on. [---] A young twenty-something with long, unclean hair walked up to a group of people on the sidewalk and started badgering them about the dangers of cigarettes and the lies of the corporate creators and stuff. The group of listeners was made up of five figures with their forms hidden behind purple trench coats and fedoras. The hippy wasn't alone, though. On the street, there was a huge rally of people holding signs saying, "The Truth", "Tobacco has no Place on Earth", and "We're going to ruin your commercial viewing time during wrestling until our voices our heard!" "Hey, man. Do you, like, use paper to write on and stuff?" the hippy asked. The mysterious, pale man nodded. "I do." "Don't you know that paper can be found in cigarettes? I mean, you're like, inhaling paper, dude!" "Really." The main man in the trench coat took a puff from his cigarette and held it out. He inspected it for a second. "Paper, eh? Let me ask you something..." "Burt." "Burt. Let me ask you something, Burt. I own a gun. There are bullets in my gun. Are there any bullets in a cigarette?" "Well, not really, man." "Huh. And what about cigars? Are there any... hehe... bullets in a cigar?" "Uh... no." "What about your head, Burt? Are there any bullets in your head?" "Uh, definitely not." "That's a shame, Burt." The Smoker pulled out the Emperor and capped Burt several times. "Because there are now. HehehehahahahaHAHAHAH!" Mariah Net handed him an inhaler, which he breathed through for several seconds. "Okay, boys and Pumpkin. I've been waiting a long time for this! Whoever kills the most of them gets a second helping of dessert tonight! *cough**cough**cough*" The Battlertoads revealed themselves to the protesters and advanced. Mutated fists, metal objects and invisible bullets flew like bumblebees in the summer as the protesters found out: The Truth hurts. "Hey, I tell you what, stinky! How about instead of not polluting your air, you stop breathing my oxygen! AHAHAHAHA!" *BLAM!* *BLAM!* *BLAM!" [---] Mayor Rodriguez watched from out the window. He figured it would probably be wise to call somebody to fix this problem. It didn't look good to have a pair of stand-wielding supervillains and a trio of football frogs tearing the streets apart. Yep, this looked like a job for someone like say, Violence Unlimited. The Mayor grabbed the phone and pressed the speed dial button. Nothing happened. So he tried the OOSHA speed dial button. Nothing happened. Ikaris? Nothing happened. "Bear!" The Vice Mayor growled. "Did you erase my speed dial entries?" The Vice Mayor roared. "Goddammit. I'll deal with you in a sec." Mayor Rodriguez then had to make a choice. He could press the button for the Battler Signal to shine into the sky. Or he could just call Violence Unlimited or OOSHA to take care of things. But that would mean pressing at least seven buttons. "Battler Man it is." [---] In the deluxe apartment Johnny Cage lived in, the martial arts superstar sat in his chair and watched out the window. Behind him, Fei Long entered the room with a newspaper in hand. "Reviews for your latest movie are in, sir. Thirty of them." "Great! How did I do?" "It got four stars." "All right! Which reviewer?" "All of them." Johnny removed his shades. "Holy crap!" "No, you don't understand, sir. You got four stars as a sum. You know, after adding together all thirty reviews." "Oh." Johnny put his sunglasses back on. "Still better than the reviews for my movie with Piscapo. You know, Fei Long, when I asked you to become my assistant, you do realize that I was being sarcastic, right? At the time I was just bragging for getting the upper hand. I had no idea you'd actually take me up on it and work for me." "What can I say? I couldn't find a job for three weeks." Fei Long handed Johnny a water bottle. "Besides, I couldn't help but feel interested when you filled me in on the *other* part of the job. Would you like some coffee and a donut?" Johnny looked uneasy. "Uh... I'll pass." He looked out the window and saw the Battlermobile speeding by. "Speaking of that part of the job, it seems like we might be needed. Get suited up and meet me at the Black Beater. It's time to get a piece of the action." [---] Meanwhile in Ancient Rome... "We're totally going to kick your asses back to the Stone Age!" Cody yelled. "I think you'll find that difficult-- BRAINS! BRAAAAAAINS! --considering you're going to be worm food very soon, Fyters! BRAINS!" the zombified Belger taunted. Sodom agreed by speaking Japanese. Roughly translated, he told the Fynal Fyters that, "Styrofoam makes the best breakfast cereal! Stereo equipment!" Sodom was never very good at foreign languages. The two pairs charged at each other, ready to relive the days of '89 in Metro City. But in the area where they would meet, Time Posse appeared. "This isn't Thailand in the '80s!" Kyosuke whined. "This is Ancient Rome!" Cyrax checked the monitor in his arm. "My mistake. Must be a glitch. Say, do you hear battle cries?" Potemkin saw the attacking forces and became bemused. "Well surprise, surprise. I'll take care uh this one. You boys better stand back." The other two complied with the orders. Potemkin started flexing. His bomb collar started smoking. Guy's eyes widened. Why he was going as fast as Cody when he can almost go the speed of light, I have no idea. "Oh no! It's those future pigs! Most heinous!" By the time the four warriors realized what was about to happen, it was too late. Potemkin's collar exploded, right as the four came near. Without a scratch on him, Potemkin pounded them all on their way down. He swatted Guy, elbowed Radioactive Cyborg Zombie Belger, and punted Cody. With Sodom still feeling the effects of gravity, Potemkin kissed his own fist, pulled back and smashed the daylights out of the gaijin with one single blow. "Now that oughta learn ya! Here we are tryin' ta fix the past ta protect the future when you boys is feudin' and screwin' and fondlin' it up!" He pointed both arms at their respective time machines and bared his teeth. "Now get before I get REAL mad!" "Bogus!" Cody and Guy yelled as they scrambled to their phone booth. "I'd like a flashlight with trousers now, please!" is what Sodom yelled in Japanese as Radioactive Cyborg Zombie Belger led his beaten body to his bigass truck. The great rematch would have wait. But soon Guy and Cody would feel their wrath and the bullies of Time Posse wouldn't be around to stop them. Both the booth and truck disappeared. Time Posse regrouped. As Cyrax pushed the button on his arm, Potemkin rubbed his neck. "Man. Remind me ta order some more bomb collars. Just ain't the same without 'em." And away they went. Again. [---] "E. Honda farted in Japan and Spider-Man's spider sense went off in New York!" "E. Honda? Goes about 7'1", 850 pounds? I *know* E. Honda!" "Let me buy you a round!" "His favorite actor is Christian Slater!" "He can still see his manhood in the shower!" "He prefers Kirk to Picard!" "He remembers Sammy Jenkis!" "He uses an anime girl's head as a bowling ball! It's the only way his fingers will fit!" "He claims chicken tastes like Metroids!" "TO E. HONDA!" [---] A protester took a whiz inside a Porto Potty, when a piece of paper slipped through the door crack. He zipped himself up, picked up the note and read it. "'There's water in your piss. There's also water in your blood.' What the hell does that--" *BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM* Outside, the Smoker laughed. "I haven't had this much fun since I first got to this city over two months ago!" [---] JP Polnareff guided Hol Horse down the street. Despite being his archenemy, Polnareff still wanted to give Hol a good look at South Town, considering it was his first week there. "What's that?" The cowboy said as he pointed at a passing Felicia. "Naked catgirl." "What's that?" Hol said, pointing at a bunch guys flipping out. "That's a gaggle of ninjas." Later on, the two sat down in a Subway. Polnareff looked at the new sandwich in surprise. "What's this?" Hol pointed the Emperor at the back of Polnareff's head. "Your early grave." *BLAM* [---] The Smoker continued to shoot his prey while laughing. "Oh, come on people! Lung cancer doesn't kill people! I do! HAHAHAHAHA-*cough*" "Hey, Smoker," Battler Man said from the shadows. "You ever danced with Hanzou in the pale moon... oooh... Hanzou..." Battler Girl stayed straight-faced. "Nobody gets you." "Brian Liu gets me." "Battler Man!" Smoker exclaimed. "So, you're here to stop me." "Actually, I was here to beat up hippies. But I guess I can't go around working with villains. Well... maybe just one." Battler Man punched a random bystander. *GRUNDY!* The hippy dropped like a dead fly. "Well, now that that's finished with, let's go." "You're a fool to try to stop me this time, Battler Man! HAHAHA!" "I'm also pretty drunk right now. What's your point?" "Fumble, get him!" Fumble, the biggest of the Battlertoads, rushed at Battler Man. His head transformed into a giant football helmet with spikes sticking out. It effectively knocked our hero into a bus. "I definitely did not expect that." Mariah Net looked down at a determined Bao Wonder. "Aw, ain't he a darlin'? Look at that button nose!" She tapped Bao's nose and her stand, Bast, zapped him. "Well, I'll go see what Mista S is up to! Bye!" "Hey, come back here!" Bao Wonder yelled. But then he realized he couldn't move his feet from the manhole cover he was standing on. He was magnetized. A nearby fire hydrant broke away from its foundation and smashed him in the head. A light post bent and conked him on the head. Meanwhile, Rush held back Battler Girl while Blitz beat her with a yard marker. Is this the end of Battler Man? Is Bao Wonder doomed? Can Battler Girl free herself from her fate? We'll find out later, friends! Same Battler Fic! Same Battler Chapter! [---] Rock Howard kicked Roberto the volleyball player in the ribs until he finally went under. "That'll teach you for messing with us! When we ask you to give us your visor, you give us your goddamn visor!" Stone picked up the visor and dusted it off. "Uh, guys?" Sakura asked. She held Chu Chu in one arm, while examining the list in the other. "Something wrong, babe?" Rock asked back. "I don't see Roberto's visor on here at all. It wouldn't even make sense, considering you already have the sombrero." Rock looked over the list through the eyeholes in his hockey mask. "Hey, you're right!" Stone gave a nervous laugh. "Hey guys, I never said that the visor was part of the Ultimate Ensemble." "Then why did you want us to take it from this guy?" Sakura angrily wanted to know. Stone straightened the visor on his head. "Because I thought I'd look good in it. So what do you guys think?" Rock and Sakura blinked. There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Then suddenly... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!" *ZOOM* Rock waved at Terry Bogard as he flew across the horizon. "Hey, dad." [---] "So where is Armor King, again?" Kyo asked. "He's on his dinner break," Scorpion answered. "Right. And Goro?" "Celebrating over something. All he said was 'The feud is over'." "Okay. And Shang Tsung?" "Don't. Ask." Just then, the door to Kyo's office busted open. Pac Man walked through with a tape recorder. "Pac Man, High Times Magazine. Mr. Kusanagi, is it true that you're really a lapdog for Satan and that South Town is amidst a plot that could cause it to fall into the hands of a demonic prince? And also, isn't it true that you have a garden of marijuana in your back yard but you won't share?" Kyo folded his arms. "I don't have to answer these accusations. Especially from some has-been bozo from High Times." "That's harsh, man. Now you're asking for it!" Kyo became frightened when he saw Pac Man advancing and chomping at air. "Ah! Get away from me!" He cowered behind his desk. Pac Man bit into the desk several times, but a thrust kick knocked him off. He looked up and Scorpion stared down. His undead eyes glowed brightly. "Heh. Hi." "So you want another beating?" "Heh. Bye!" Pac Man raced out the office as a spear tailed him. He passed the door and slammed it, right before the spear dug into the wood. "Damn. Missed." [---] In the past, Time Posse had finally caught up with a young Ryu. Though instead of seeing him training for a fight, the Japanese boy was managing a t-shirt store. He even sold Potemkin a shirt saying, "I'm with a sissy robot". Cyrax was forced to stand outside for his refusal to wear or buy a shirt. Kyosuke pleaded with him. "But don't you want to fight Sagat, and prove that your training was the best?" "Training? What training?" "Your training with Gouken! Master of Shotokan Karate!" Ryu laughed. "Gouken? Ha! I haven't trained with him in years. Man... he put the 'drag' in Dragon Punch, you know? Now I sell t-shirts with funny sayings. I even made one for Mr. Sagat. Look." Ryu held up a shirt saying, "Chicks Dig Eyepatches." Potemkin smacked the shirt out of his hand. "That's tha rock-STUPIDEST THING I've ever heard! Don't you want to win, boy?" "Win what?" "The fight!" "What fight?" He trembled with anger. "The fight with SAGAT!" "What fight with Sagat?" "YOUR fight with Sagat!" "You haven't been paying attention! I'm not fighting Sagat! He's mean!" Potemkin stopped. "...oh. I just thought you wanted ta win the fight, is all." Ryu's mouth fell agape. "...what did you say?" "I said, I just thought you wanted to win the fight, is all." Ryu started thinking out loud. "...the fight...is all. Hrm. The fight... is all." He smiled. "The fight is all! THE FIGHT IS ALL! Yes!" The muscleman from Zepp looked cocky. "Now doesn't that make you want ta go out and kick butt?" "No, but that would make a great t-shirt!" Kyosuke facepalmed. Potemkin hunched over. "...can I just maim him?" Cyrax entered the store. "Hey, everyone! I want you to meet a new friend of mine. His name is Joe." "Hey," Joe said. Ryu looked at him with annoyance. "Are you going to buy a shirt?" "No thanks." "I insist that you either buy a shirt or get out. Here's one for you, Joe." Ryu held up a shirt saying, "Average Joe". "Hey! Why I oughta!" Joe growled. He grabbed a random shirt and tore it in half. "How do you like that?" "You tore up one of my shirts! I'm going to... I'm going to..." "What are you going to do? Hit me with a fireball?" Ryu hit Joe with a fireball. He then jumped over the counter and beat the living piss out of the shirtless guy. When done, he took a couple deep breaths and stared at his fist. "This feeling... This feeling is great! I can get used to this! I see now. The wood in one's heart is unable to fulfill his fist's goals!" Potemkin scratched his chin. "The hell did he just say?" Cyrax shrugged and opened up his arm. "Who cares? The mission is complete. Let's go back home." Kyosuke held up a t-shirt saying, "Get Well Birdie". "So he really was..." The three disappeared and went back to their home in the future. [---] Fuuma bravely wandered into a smashed up parking lot. After clearing his throat he yelled out, "Hey Abobo! Your mother sews socks that smell!" An annoyed grunt came from a recently rebuilt wall. "That's right! I'm calling you out, baldy! And with Sub-Zero by my side, you won't have a chance!" The wall shattered and Abobo stormed out. His permanent scowl almost made Fuuma afraid. But it was all right, since his idol Sub-Zero was on his way. Yep. Any minute. As the fists crunched Fuuma's bones he wondered, Oddly enough it came out as, "AAAAAAAGGHHH! MY RIBS! IT HURTS SO BAD!" Outside, Sub-Zero killed time by inspecting his parking job. "Hm. Looks a little TOO close. I should probably try it again. Man, I suck at parallel parking." Just then, Fuuma's tenderized body fell to his feet. Subby struck a heroic pose. "Hello, Fuuma! How goes it?" "ABOBO!" the muscle man yelled as he neared the two. "Uh oh. I mean, uh, no problem!" He ran like an Olympian from Abobo, but not before Fuuma latched onto his arm. "Why aren't you fighting him?" Fuuma weakly asked. "I have to get you out of danger, young ninja!" "You'd do that for me? What a guy." Sub-Zero found a dumpster where he dumped Fuuma's hide. He hid behind it, shaking, until he was sure Abobo was gone. When that happened, he knocked on the dumpster. "Don't worry, Fuuma! I defeated the evil oaf and drove him away. You are safe now. Just like you will always be safe thanks to me, Sub-Zero! Now if you'll excuse me, I have wrongs to right!" And he took off for his car. "Hello...? Sub-Zero? Hello? I think this dumpster's locked. Hello? Somebody in here smells like fish." [---] "It was E. Honda's idea to screw Bret Hart! And he meant it in a sexual manner!" "E. Honda's original SF2 ending was deemed too graphic for release!" "He does the voice of Alf!" "Hard Man is really an E. Honda action figure!" "His body odor stunts BB Hood's growth!" "Spongebob Squarepants is loosely based on E. Honda's autobiography!" "His snot evolved and became its own species! It's now a boss in Devil May Cry!" "TO E. HONDA!" [---] Battler Man's fall was broken by a series of garbage cans. With his blurry vision, he looked up and saw the Smoker looking down at him with a psychotic yellow grin. He couldn't see the Emperor, but knew Smoker well enough to know it was looming at him. "Any last words, you second string goofball?" "Yes. For my last words, I'd just like to buy time by singing the entire score from the H.M.S. Pinafore. Ahem. Ohhhhhhh!" Before he could start singing, Rush tackled the Smoker and rolled him out of the way. "What are you doing?!" the Cowboy Prince of Crime demanded. "Protecting you, coach!" "From what!?" "That!" Rush pointed at a broken down Lincoln with a black paint job, which almost ran over Fumble. The Black Beater parked and the two left doors opened up. In the back seat, Johnny Cage jumped out dressed in a green three-piece suit with a green fedora and matching green sunglasses. Out of the driver's side, Fei Long in a black chauffer outfit with a black eye mask hopped out and angrily shook his finger at the Battlertoads. The man in green shook Battler Man's hand and helped him up. "How are you feeling?" Battler Man stood up with a grunt. "Good enough to fuck your mother. Who are you guys?" "You can call me the Green Earwig. And this is Nameless Associate Guy. We're here to even the odds." "Fine. But if you steal any of my punch sound effects, it's your ass." [---] Clay9999 ran into the Mean Street Posse's headquarters and locked the door. After a couple deep breaths, he saw Lord Raptor, I-no and Angel staring at him impatiently. Clay9999 mutated himself until properly clothed and dropped the bed sheets. "You're late," I-no spat. "We started planning the next score without you." "Yes. I know. I had some complications." Clay9999 saw a drawing of Blackheart on a chalkboard behind Raptor. "What's that?" The blue one smiled. "This is Blackheart. Not to be confused with Whitelung. Heh. Know what I mean? Anyway, your Uncle L.R. was wandering around the pits of Hell one day when he overheard a little plot about taking over South Town." "So what does this have to do with us?" Angel asked while her outfit was riding up. Hey, I'm just looking out for you. "We're going to anonymously help him take over. But once he lets his guard down for even a second, well, we'll attack and feast upon his power! Yeah!" Clay9999 folded his arms. "And how do we know you're not going to just turn on us and take the power for yourself?" "Oh, no I'm not! Not again. I may be undead, but I have my limits. Check it out." Raptor pulled out a small remote and clicked its button once. Slides appeared over the chalkboard, depicting the zombie in dozens of pieces, scattered across acres of land. The other three gasped. "Took me three weeks to get back together. Heh. Greed's a bitch." [---] "E. Honda uses Lin's blood as a chaser!" "E. Honda? Goes about 7'5", 889 pounds?" "They found a dodo in a fold in his stomach!" "He insists on hiring Leisure Suit Larry to eventually do his eulogy!" "He defeated Sheng Long and stood a chance!" "He expected the Spanish Inquisition!" "He blinded me with science!" "He went down on Testament!" "He greenlighted Herman's Head!" "A serial killer chained him to a chair and force-fed Honda spaghetti! After the tenth day, Honda got bored, casually broke out of the chains and gave the guy a $10 tip!" "TO E. HONDA!" [---] Author's notes Well, hardly any Jae but what the hell. Anyone ever notice that Sharon is to FAJ as Lucky Glauber is to RECBT? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the show. It's one of my longer attempts and was almost longer. I was going to do some more stuff with Mai vs. Ayane, Megaman X, and Pantless Yuri, but couldn't come up with anything great. Thanks go out to Keio, the eDANgelist and Zrith for helping me come up with one and a half hours worth of E. Honda gags. Also, thanks to eDAN for helping me a lot with the Time Posse ideas. And thanks for black dub and Grahf for doing the prereading. Up next is the Grahftacular Grahf316. Rock! Gavin "Gavok" Jasper Half Horse Productions http://www.rit.edu/~gjj2192/hol [---] "Hi there. I'm former Major Circuit Boxing Champion Bald Bull. When I'm not delivering right hooks, uppercuts or my patented Bull Charge, I'm in the mood for a delicious burger. And there's no way to prepare a burger better than using this." The boxer picked up a box with his image on the front. "Bald Bull's Bull Burning Grill. It makes your burgers and steaks thick and juicy, just the way nature intended." He continued talking as he bounced back several times. "It's only $19.99! You can send cash, use a check, or even CHARGE!" He bounced forward at the camera with his fist ready. But another fist popped him in the belly. Bald Bull's eyes bugged out of his head and he fell over. "Oh God, it's over!" Terry screamed, out of breath. "I just couldn't take it anymore! But now I can walk on the ground again. I'm so glad that's over." "What's over?" Kevin Ryan said as he and Marky continued their scavenger hunt. Luckily "boxer from Turkey" was on the list. "Hey, Kevin. For a while there I couldn't stop doing my Burn Knuckle move. I just kept going and going and I forgot how to end it." "The Burn Knuckle move? You mean when you punch the ground and a wave of energy comes out?" "No, that's the Power Wave." "Is it when you flip forward and kick?" Terry continued to catch his breath. "No. That's the Crack Shot." "Oh. So the Burn Knuckle is the move you do when you jump up and then punch downward?" "Close, that's the Power Dunk." "Then which one is the Burn Knuckle?" "It's when I do this. BURN KNUCKLE! ...OH SHIT! STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!" And he continued saying that as he soared away. Kevin shook his head. "That's a shame." Then something caught his attention. "Hey look! Big breasted ninja catfight!" "But Kevin, I don't see it on the list." "So?"