"Hello, innocents. We are Venom. And this... is the Brock Group." A news program-type theme song began to play as the monitors tuned in were treated to a montage of Venom ranting with various different emotions. Their words weren't heard, but as images of world leaders and events passed by in the foreground, Venom's tone would change from calm, to angry, to frustrated, to happy. Finally a graphic imposed over the screen saying, "The Brock Group." Finally, it came back to Venom who was (or were?) sitting in the middle chair of the five set up. "Let's meet our panel, shall we?" Venom pointed to each guest panelist as they said their names. "First, we have the only professional wrestler to ever gain a clean victory over King Slender, Kin Korn Karn." "Greetings!" "Then we have the happy-go-lucky oni martial arts master, Akuma." ":):):):):):):):):):):)" "Next is a piece of rich, criminal scum who is the brother-in-law to a dead piece of rich, criminal scum, Kain R. Heinlein." "Hello." "And finally, a man who we know very well, a wise-cracking superhero who needs little introduction, the Spectacular Spider-Man." "Good to be here, Eddie." Venom nodded, smiled, and shifted into a serious expression as they stared into the camera. "And now for today's first topic. Peter Parker: Is he a douche bag or what?" They quickly turned their head to their left. "Spider-Man!" "Well I think we would all agree that-- wait, what did you say the topic is!?" "Peter Parker: Is he a douche bag or what?" "You are such a dick." "And why is that, Spidey? Got something to tell us?" "I... just wanted to say that Peter Parker is not nor has he ever been a douche bag." "And what makes you say that? You know, we haven't exactly seen you two together in the same room before." "Well, I'm allergic to photographers." "More like you're allergic to douche bags," Kain added. The viewing audience couldn't see that Spidey was grinding his teeth under the red and black mask. [---] FORGOT ABOUT JAE Chapter 18: Oh Great, It's Him Story used to create six powerful robot masters by Dr. Shelby Scott, aka The Darkheart One Chapter used to turn said robot masters to evil by Dr. Gavin "Gavok" Jasper [---] Last time on Forgot About Jae: -Hanzou issued a 5-day-a-week restraining order against Iori Yagami in reference to Kyo Kusanagi. -The dream may or may not be dead. -We found out where in the world Carmen Sandiego is. -Jae and friends were prrrrrrricks! -Skullomania is in dire need of doing his laundry. -Dio has rocked for a long, long time. But now it's time for him to pass the torch. -Various villains partied like it was KOF '99. [---] Gill held a bottle of tequila in one hand and a bottle of spring water on the other (his red side was supposed to be driving that night). He became concerned when he saw Magneto lounging on a brimstone couch, watching television. "Magnus, what are you doing? It's time to get plowed!" The old mutant held his hand out while intently watching the TV. "Hold on. I'm watching Terry Bogard Fighting Around the World. I love this show." [---] "Come on, fight me!" Terry punched Daniel, an older black man in a brown suit, in the face. "Hey, c'mon, c'mon!" Daniel tried punching back but it was blocked and countered. "POWER GEYSER!" *BOOM!* Daniel flew back into a wall. Terry turned around to see a very pissed off Aya Brea wearing a black dress and pointing a pistol. "Crack Shot!" Terry flipped forward and kicked the gun out of Aya's hands. Aya's eyes narrowed and her skin began to change color. Thin wings began to grow out of her back and smacked Terry around like Stooge. Terry rubbed his jaw and tried to crawl away. "Can we cut that in editing?" [---] "Wow," Gill said. "Aya's kicking Terry Bogard's ass. That shouldn't happen." "Nope," Magneto agreed. Kazuya Mishima walked over to Blackheart. "What's the deal with the portal? I tried to get out but a wall of purple blood is blocking it." "Who the 'here' would seal the exits from here and lock us in?" Blackheart asked himself. Suddenly the red specks that made up his eyes widened. "Oh no! If this is who I think it is, we and all existence are in trouble." Kazuya lifted his eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?" [---] In the lonely depths of the Dark World, an evil blue figure sat on a throne amongst the blue flames and watched a television where Blackheart and the others began to panic. "Oh, how I looooove parties," he said in a high, feminine voice accompanied with a loud echo. "And far be it for me to be the party pooper. So I'll do you all a big favor and prolong your fun. And with you all out of the way..." Jedah's voice became much more masculine and menacing as he growled, "I will destroy everything good and decent in Southtown!" The flames surrounding shook from the dark echo. Jedah, a blue-skinned demon in what can be described as the Buttoned- Down Suit of the Damned and an odd headdress, regained his composure. His blue face featured yellow eyes with thick eyelashes, rosy red cheeks, and an always-present smile, twice the size of Jae Hoon's. With his creepy smile abstaining from fading, Jedah continued. His voice went back to being feminine and echoing. "Oh, but there are just so many do-gooders in Southtown. It's enough to make me *sick*!" His voice reverted to demonic on the last word. Back to feminine. "But those who oppose me can't fight for good when they're sleeping, can they? And so I will let them sleep and allow them to have their share of wonderful dreams. Because when I wake them all up..." Jedah's eyes narrowed. "...their new reality awaits." The surrounding flames became more and more fueled. [---] Mephisto, ruler of Hell, adjusted his reading glasses. His shadow-like son entered his quarters. "Father! You must assist us! Jedah of the Dark World has locked I and the other villains within Hell! Only you are powerful enough to undo magic! Dr. Doom theoretically could, but he has passed out from too many hard lemonades!" Mephisto lowered his book for a second. "Did you say that no-good bastard Dr. Doom is here?" "Uh, I mean Dr. Dune. He's a... uh... an evil foot doctor." "So you were saying..." "We need you to destroy the portal's barrier and set my guests free!" "Very well, my son. Right after I finish this book." Blackheart tried to catch a peak at the front cover. "And how far are you, father?" "Damnation! I lost my place. Now I have to start from the beginning again." Mephisto turned to page one. "'Call me Ishmael...'" His son groaned. [---] Liu Kang pointed at the blue ninja Sub-Zero and giggled. "Hey, Sub-Zero. Long time no see." "Hello, Liu Kang." "You know, we've known each other for years and there's something I've always wanted to know." "Yes?" Liu Kang commenced with a mix of laughter and singing. "Why do you wear thaaaaaaaat maaaaaaaask!? SUB-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A ball of ice froze him still. Sub-Zero, pissed off, walked over, ducked down, and delivered an uppercut that sent Liu Kang flying. The fighting monk stood back up and wobbled. [---] Slayer, former leader of the Cult of Some, stood in front of a desk, somewhere outdoors. In his right arm he cradled an open bag of Doritos. With a smug look on his face he commented, "You may be bold, my friend. But are you also... DARING?" [---] Sub-Zero reached out and grabbed Liu Kang's skull. In a quick yanking motion, he tore Liu's head clean off his body, along with a dangling spinal chord. He held up the memento in victory. [---] Sub-Zero, standing next to Slayer, enjoyed a handful of Doritos. The aging man in Iori's duds patted him on the back. [---] Cracker Jack grunted in pain. "Ow! Anyway, this kitchen looks nice." Rugal Bernstein, real estate agent and former powerful deity, nodded in agreement. "Yes. It's a dandy. It has a garbage disposal so strong it can almost dent adamantium. Now let me show you what could be your office." Rugal grabbed CJ by the collar and ran down the hall, dragging CJ for the ride. When they reached the office, Rugal slammed CJ into the wall. "Notice how spacious this room is." CJ rubbed his aching back. "Yeah, that's a nice touch. But if you don't mind, I'd like to take another look at downstairs." "I don't mind at all." Rugal jumped on CJ's head, crossed his arms, and began to spin. Like a screwdriver, he caused CJ to burrow a hole through the floor and into the room below. "We just had it fumigated. You might be interested in knowing that downstairs there's a dungeon." "Oh?" CJ dusted himself off. "Yes. With spikes on the walls and everything. Want me to guide you?" Jack looked at him with a stone face. "I'll pass. But I like this place. I'll take it." Rugal smiled. "Splendid. I'll go get the deed." He disappeared and reappeared outside the building. After a brief delay, the wall he went through crumbled. Cracker Jack didn't seem to have much of a reaction. [---] Somewhere, Angel felt the effects of a badly cooked hamburger. She grabbed her stomach and blew chunks all over Clay9999's face. ...I probably shouldn't have told you that. [---] Someone with a mohawk rolled a pair of dice. "Snake eyes!" Rancid bragged. The Hair Scare Bunch, fresh from mugging JP Polnareff to death a few minutes earlier, was enjoying a nice illegal game of dice. But their guilty pleasure was interrupted by the blue demon whose mere voice struck fear into their mislead hearts. "Hellooooo..." Jedah said from the shadows. He slinked out with his large smile beaming at the Hair Scare Bunch. "Oh, man!" Duck King exclaimed. "It's... it's... him! It's Jedah!" "Yes, boys," the high, echoing voice continued. "Just passing through. So please do me a favor and get out of my fucking way." He continued to smile as if he knew exactly how the gang would react. Duck King, Birdie and Jack stepped away to let Jedah pass. But Rancid stepped in his way and leaned on his chainsaw. "I don't give a fuck who you are, blue boy. You're in our territory. And you may be bad, but the four of us are badder than one of you. Now wipe that smile off your face before my saw does it for you." The other three mohawked punks stood beside their leader and attempted to stare down the festive demon. Jedah only giggled at their futile attempt to intimidate him. [---] Stone Krauser led Rock and Sakura to the entrance of a green house. "This is the place." "And you're sure he lives here?" Rock asked. "That's what my sources say. And they're rarely ever wrong." "Since when do you have sources?" "I'm a Krauser. I'm rich and stuff. Why wouldn't I?" Rock and Sakura crossed their arms and looked at Stone. He huffed. "Fine. I got it from an AOL chat room. Happy?" The trio cautiously entered the green house. Rock looked to his girlfriend and asked the same question he had asked several times that day. "Sakura, are you sure you don't want to just stop by your place and put on another pair? We can always just come back here later." Sakura hugged Rock's arm. "Oh, don't worry about me, Rocky baby. This is more important." She kissed him on the cheek. "Besides, I kinda like the air." "And I kinda like the wind," Stone said under his breath. "What was that, cousin?" Rock asked. "Huh? Nothing." "AMINGO!" Rock turned around to see a confused Stone. "Where?" "I didn't say it. I thought Sakura did." "That was definitely not my voice and you know it." "AMINGO!" Rock heard the voice come from behind him. He spun around and finally saw the speaker. It was Amingo, all right. There aren't many other overgrown, fat, talking cacti wearing a blue sombrero and orange pants wandering around Southtown. The fact that he could only say his own name clinched his identity. The son of Geese ran his fingers through his hair, knowing that it may be the last time he'd be able to that during a fight. He pointed at the cactus and simply told him, "I need that sombrero you're wearing. Can you please do me a favor and hand it over so I don't have to fight you?" "AMINGO!" Using his amazing plant powers, Amingo conjured up a flower out of the ground. To Rock and friends it seemed like a friendly gesture, maybe even like a handshake. Rock reached his hand out to shake the flower's petals as if they were part of a hand. "It's, uh, nice to meet you--AH!" The flower grabbed Rock by the arm and tossed him over at Amingo. Amingo removed his sombrero and opened a hole in his head. Rock's body fell through the hole and into the body of the cactus freak. Amingo put his sombrero back on and transformed into a giant maraca, shaking back and forth. Finally he released Rock and set him sailing into a table of poinsettias. After crashing through the table, several airborne flowerpots broke over Rock Howard's head. Sakura put her fists up. "You can't do that to my Rocky!" "Yeah!" Stone agreed. "Let's burn it up!" "AMINGO!" [---] Jedah nonchalantly discarded the bloody body of Jack and took a step towards the alleyway's exit. Just then, a chain wrapped around his neck. "Damn MONSTER!" Birdie grunted. "Please," Jedah said as calmly as possible while being strangled. "Haven't you had enough screen time for one day?" With that, Jedah's blade-like wings folded like a scissor and destroyed Birdie's chain. Jedah slit his own wrist and encased Birdie in a bubble of blood. Jedah pulled out a scythe and used an excessive amount of force to pop that bubble. Birdie's hide landed next to Rancid's. Jedah, still smiling, stepped over a busted chainsaw and the unmoving body of Duck King. A bus drove by and Jedah inhaled the fumes with delight. With a deep breath, Jedah stretched his arms out and demonically said into the sky... "SSSLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Cars driving by skidded out of control as the drivers became unconscious. A sleeping Stick Breitling was run over by a stray car. Jedah giggled as his message was spreading throughout Southtown. [---] Kin Korn Karn laughed at Venom's words. "Ha! A symbiote may be tops! But! It does not have! TOP ROPE SPLASH!" "Oh, you want some, huh?" Venom growled back. Kain chuckled. "This should be interesting." "You're next, you mullet-wearing villain! Flames or no flames!" Spider-Man stood up. "This is gone on long enough, Eddie!" The four debaters stood ready to fight in a ratings-grabbing free-for- all. Lotta hyphens there. But meanwhile... "SSSLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" The two superheroes, the wrestler and the crimelord fell asleep and landed in their own respective chairs. Venom's symbiote began to squirm and partially unravel. Akuma, who had been listening to "Sunshine, Lollypops and Rainbows" by Lesley Gore on its highest setting on his walkman, stood up, shrugged and walked away. "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [---] *WHAM!* *WUMBO!* *STROMBOLI!* "¡Mi cara!" El Riddlador fell to the floor of the "We Sell Balloons and Enchiladas" balloons and enchiladas store. His face began to swell up as he muttered, "Carumba." "Holy Three for a Dollar, Battler Man! You finally defeated El Riddlador!" "That's right, old chum. His mind tricks and riddles are no match for my technique." "What technique, BM? You just ran into him by chance at a balloons and enchiladas store and punched him a couple times." "That was the technique. It was a battle of wits, and my fist is the smartest part of my body. And stop calling me BM!" Battler Man began tying up El Riddlador for the police. "And for the last time, it wasn't by chance. I just happened to have figured out his last riddle." "How does a question about spiders and lampshades equate to a 'We Sell Balloons and Enchiladas' franchise?" "Well, it's simple, Bao Wonder. You see, first he asked about spiders, AKA 'arañas'. Now spiders are known for--" "SSSLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Bao Wonder fell over and into slumber. Battler Man did the same, only he landed on Bao Wonder and crushed one of his sidekick's ribs. [---] "Hey, Ralf. Put on the--" "I'm already wearing them, Clark. For the last time, they're pretty fucking sweet." "Oh. Say, have you seen Whip anywhere?" "Yeah. She locked herself into a soundproof freezer and tried shoving gophers into her ears." Clark removed his hat and scratched his head. "Huh. I thought she only did that on Fridays." "SSSLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" [---] Amingo ducked a flying kick attack from Sakura. The schoolgirl's outward foot landed on a table of daffodils, which caused her to slip and fall back. Amingo's back broke her fall. Amingo wobbled and felt unbalanced. Sakura was stuck to him, in a back- to-back position. Plus the purple-haired teenager with the gold boots had his arms spread out, preparing for an attack. "Let's see how much water you got inside you!" Stone shouted while channeling his energy. "KAISER WA--!" "SSSLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" The power in Stone's hands waned as he fell over and began snoring. Rock continued to lay unconscious over the broken table. And despite getting pricked with needles, Sakura was under as well. Amingo, on the other hand, was a cactus. And cacti don't sleep, no matter how much you pay them. He took a step, but wobbled once more. This time, his sombrero fell off. His new goal was to get this thing off his back. So he summoned a bamboo pole and used it as a crowbar to remove Sakura. After a couple seconds of pressure, Amingo heard several loud tearing sounds and a thump, accompanied by the feeling of relief on his back. Amingo, content, left the greenhouse. It was time for his weekly visit to Boogerman's Fertilizer Market. He failed to notice that he forgot his sombrero, and left it with the sleeping attackers. He also failed to notice the torn up white shirt and blue skirt sticking to his back. [---] "Wow, this is our new HQ?" Sharon asked while looking at the building Cracker Jack bought earlier, along with Poison and the boss. Hugo and Ultros were busy putting up the Violence Unlimited sign. "Yeah. That job the boys did with Neo and Geo helped us get back on our feet. Not only did we get this place for cheap, but after I fixed up the holes, I had enough to get a new stereo system. Now I can watch the cash roll in *while* enjoying the Stones." "Holes?" Poison repeated. "Don't ask." Jae's Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend walked out the front door and sought Cracker Jack. "Jae needs to know where you put the extension cord." "It's in the brown bag on the desk." NEG yelled up at Jae who looked down at her through the window. "HONEY, IT'S IN THE BROWN BAG ON THE DESK!" CJ groaned. "I could've done that." Jae left the window for a second and came back, giving the thumbs up. "Ah," Sharon started. "Jae's hooking up the stereo system. But where are Fuuma and the Driver?" CJ shrugged. "Haven't seen the Driver in a while. Fuuma's up there helping Jae out." Poison blinked. "You have Fuuma hooking up your stereo equipment." "Yeah. What can go... wrong?" CJ suddenly had a vision of what was not-so-surprisingly happening at that moment. [---] Jae plugged in the amps. "Okay, Fuuma. Turn it on and see how it sounds." Fuuma wasn't exactly listening. Instead he was fiddling with the dials. "Huh. Let's put this baby up to 11." "Fuuma, turn it on," Jae repeated. "Huh? Oh, right. Sorry, Jae." Fuuma pressed the on button. [---] The resulting boom that came from an ultra-loud rendition of "Under My Thumb" caused Hugo and Ultros to fall off their ladders. CJ and the others ducked for cover. And to make things worse... "SSSLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" [---] Jae frantically pulled at the cord, eventually turning the sound off. Instead of exploding at Fuuma like most would, he just rubbed his ears and sat down. "YOU SAY SOMETHING, JAE?!" Fuuma asked. "WHAT!?" "WHAT!?" "WHAT!?" "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" "WHAT DID YOU SAY!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" [---] Almost all of Southtown was sleeping. But there is some evil that never sleeps. Take Garuda for example. The time-stopping power of the World had no effect on It. What would make you think Jedah's black magic had a chance? And Garuda would not be fazed by such a trick. Even with Its master in peril, It continued with Its goal of finding and destroying Kim Jae Hoon. Its instincts served it well as it waded through the comatose citizens. Garuda couldn't be stopped. It was like some kind of... not... stopping... porcupine demon guy. [---] Jae left to find help and/or answers, leaving Fuuma with strict orders to bring the rest of Violence Unlimited indoors. That would be easy for even Fuuma to do if it wasn't for the fact that he couldn't even budge Hugo. But even in the face of doom, Fuuma welcomed the familiar voice he heard behind him. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" *thud* "Hey, I know you!" Fuuma said. "You're that Ikari Girl. The one who *didn't* stuff my pants with dynamite." "My name is Whip!" "And you carry a whip. What a coinkedink!" Whip stared at the gun in her hand. "I thought this was a gun." "Other hand." Whip glanced at the weapon on her other hand, squeaked in terror, dropped it and jumped into Fuuma's arms. Shivering, she told him, "You're right! Now I'm scared!" "So are your comrades sleeping too?" "Yeah! No matter how many times I kicked him in the ribs, Ralf wouldn't wake up!" Fuuma set Whip down. "Same here. I tried everything to wake them up, but nothing works. Here, watch." Fuuma crouched over and talked to the sleeping Poison. "Hey, Poison. Want to do me a BIG favor and wake up? Please? No? Okay." Fuuma pulled a dollar out of his pocket. "Can my friend George Washington convince you? Eh?" Fuuma stood back up. "See? Nothing." Whip touched her bottom lip. "Maybe it has something to do with that evil blue thing wreaking havoc ten blocks away!" "Great balls of fire! I bet you're right! And my friend Jae is probably going to meet that thing head on! Cripes til Tuesday, we have to help him!" Whip was distracted. "Hey, look! That big guy in the pink muscle shirt is using that purple thing as a pillow!" Both tilted their heads and gave a collective, "Awwwwwww..." Fuuma shook his head. "Quick! We don't have a moment to lose!" The two of them just stood there for about 30 seconds. "Except for that one. Okay, follow me. I know a shortcut!" Fuuma grabbed Whip by the hand and lead her to behind a bush where they both seemed to have disappeared completely. [---] In Transylvania, Demitri Maximov went one-on-one with the cursed samurai Bishamon. As the blue swordsman tried to drive the vampire through, Demitri merely sidestepped and smiled as Bishamon left himself open. Demitri floated over to his opponent and placed him under a spell. In an instant, Bishamon had been transformed into an attractive blue-haired woman in a short kimono. The gender changing transformation put Bishamon in a daze, making "her" wonder who this man was before "her" and why he was bowing. [---] Back at the mysterious hangout of Slayer, he continued to hold an open bag of Doritos. With a smug look on his face he commented, "You may be bold, my friend. But are you also... DARING?" [---] Demitri transformed into a gargoyle-like creature, grabbed the female Bishamon by the neck and sucked all of "her" blood out. He discarded the shriveled body and licked his lips. [---] Slayer patted Demitri on the back as they both stood outside, eating Doritos. [---] Back in the mystical land of Ecuador, Dan Hibiki tried striking a conversation with his cellmate Ryu while eating lunch at the cafeteria. "You remember when you were getting beat up by Sagat and he was going to win, but he left you an opening and you became Evil Ryu for five seconds and delivered a Dragon Punch which scarred Sagat's chest and won you the match, reducing him to being a sloppy fighter bent on revenge?" Ryu ate some peas. "Yes I do." "That was cool." Ryu put down his fork. "Dan, my head-swapped friend with the added black undershirt, it's not the history of one's triumphs that make life enjoyable, but the amount of owls drinking from the lake." "How am I playing the straight man in this duo?" Dan asked himself under his breath. "Is something on your mind?" Ryu wondered. "I don't know. I just miss Southtown. I'm still waiting patiently for my followers to bail me out of here. Then I'll be gone from this jail, gone from you, and back to being omnipotent." "You miss the city life?" Ryu folded his hands. "Dan, the life of one in the city corresponds with the amount of raisins in a glass jar." "And that means what, exactly?" "I once lived in Southtown for a few months. Let me tell you, it was Hell. I was pursued by the forces of Shadaloo to no end." He began to rub his chin. "Ah, yes. I remember it like it was just yesterday." [---] Oh, boy! It sure is hard being a Shoto in the Big City! But our friend Ryu tries to make due! Just now he's attempting to sharpen his skills by challenging a new opponent! A man in a business suit walked up to Ryu in a park. "Excuse me, young sir, but can you tell me where the nearest subway station is?" "SHORYUKEN!" Wow! He sure taught that combatant a lesson he'll never forget! Ryu nodded his head and smiled. He turned his head and immediately ran in the opposite direction. "Gah!" he yelled. "I know he's here somewhere!" M. Bison said through his clenched teeth. Followed by Balrog, Bison noticed Ryu running away. "Holy Smoke!" he exclaimed. Just then, a purple robot ninja in a priest's outfit popped out of the ground and next to M. Bison. "Yes?" he asked. "Is that Ryu the World Warrior over there?" "Yes." "Thanks. Just needed clarification." Holy Smoke teleported away. "Aha!" Bison said with his teeth still clenched. "Now all we have to do is catch that Shoto and place him in the Psycho Drive! Then the world will be mine!" "Uh, boss," Balrog said. "He's getting away." "Holy Smoke!" The cyberninja popped up again. "Yes?" "You dropped your wallet." "Oh. Thanks." He disappeared again. Bison began to give chase. "Now get that Shoto!" Oh no! It seems the notorious M. Bison is closing in on our hero! Will Ryu get away?! We'll find out in Act II: "The Fight is All Right!" [---] "So you see," Ryu concluded, "I had to get away from Shadaloo and that annoying narrator." "I see. So you had yourself locked up in here?" "No." Ryu cleared his throat. "Actually, there's a law out there against having the same boring ending over and over again." "That makes sense." [---] The enchanting shriek of Jedah failed to put Zato-One and the Scarlet Skull under. But its loud volume caused Zato-One's shadow to weaken. It really wasn't supposed to, but they figured that their hero went through the same process so they would too. On a rooftop, Zato-One's shadow spread across the ground and took a shot at Skullo in the form of a drill. The friendly, neighborhood skeleton easily hopped over and bounced off Zato's head with a Skullo Roll. He held the blonde one down and began punching him in the face. "Now I'm taking you in, sicko! But first I need to find a giant ribcage to hold you in before the police get here." "You haven't seen the last of us, Skull-- ribcage? The fuck?" The Scarlet Skull shrugged. "Well, yeah. Spider-Man leaves his villains in spider webs. So I figured that since I'm a talking skeleton, I should--" Jae's ears picked up as he searched for clues. Instinctively, he rushed up the stairwell like a bolt of lightning and rushed Skullomania. "Talking skeleton! Your evil cannot be forgiven!" Skullo shielded his face. "No, wait! You got the wrong idea! I'm one of the good guys!" Jae crossed his arms and looked down at him. "That's what they all say." The scared hero pulled out his wallet and fumbled it in his hands. "Wait, I have proof!" He produced a folded picture of himself shaking hands with the guy who played the Meteor Man from the film of the same name. "See? I'm palling with the Meteor Man!" Jae scratched his chin and inspected it. "Hm. Your story seems to check out. Listen, there's something out there that caused almost everyone in Southtown to fall asleep. I was wondering if you would care to help me out and--" Zato-One stood back up. "Don't trust him! He corrupts the innocent! We're the true hero!" Jae lifted his shoulder. "Hold on a second. Wears black... has a shadow following him... long blonde hair... no eyes..." "That's us, all right." The Venom wannabe were Heinzaned across the rooftop by a pissed off Jae Hoon. "You're the jerk who kidnapped my girlfriend, aren't you?!" Zato's shadow pushed him back up. "Okay, maybe we... I... no, it's we, did." He pointed at Skullo. "But he made us do it! It's his fault! He ruined our lives!" "We? Us?" Skullo whispered, "He considers himself to be two beings." "Oh." "And I had nothing to do with your misery, Zato-One! And now I'm going to whoop your brail-loving ass! Then Spider-Man will have no choice but to make me his disciple!" "For the last time, the name is not Zato-One! We are Eddie!" The two rushed at each other and exploded into a cartoon cloud of smoke. Jae angrily shook his head yelled at them. "Enough!" The fight ceased. "Acceptance? Revenge? You two should be ashamed of yourselves. The city and maybe even the entire world at large are in trouble and all you can do is bicker? You both seem to have forgotten what being a hero is about. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a villain to find." With those words, Jae left the rooftops and continued his search. Skullo and Zato looked over the streets from where they stood. The skeletal one sighed. "He's right, you know." "About how we should put aside our differences and fight side-by-side?" "Yeah. And also about the people of Southtown. It seems everyone is asleep down there except you, me and that guy who attacked us. I wonder why that scream from before didn't knock us out." "Well it's obvious," Zato said. "We're deaf so we didn't hear it." "You're not deaf. You're blind." "...It's fun to pretend." Zato began to climb down the side of the building. "So how come you're not affected?" The blood-drenched Skullo followed. "Probably because I turned my ears off during the spell." "But if you turned your ears off, how could you tell someone was screaming?" "What?" "I said, if you turned your ears off, how could you tell someone was screaming?" "What?" "I said, if you turned-- you said you turned them off, right?" "Right." "If you turned your ears off, how could you tell someone was screaming!?" "...What?" [---] Garuda was only a block away from Jae. It was finally going to meet the poor fool and destroy him once and for all. It was going to become one step closer to completing Its mission. The eye-less sockets studied Jae's movement. It was go time. Well, it would have been if Garuda didn't run into someone else. "AMINGO!" The cactus showed a pair of angry eyes as spikes emerged from his chest. Garuda snarled and did the same. The battle began. Not that Amingo really had anything against Garuda in the first place. It's just that Amingo's bad mood got the best of him. Boogerman's Fertilizer Market was closed and the cactus was hankering for a brawl. Poor self-promoting plant. He never had a chance. [---] Main Street was pretty quiet for once. At the time there were only three active figures there. One was Jedah, who was in the middle of doing his own style of feng shui to prepare for his ultimate reign of terror. The other two were Fuuma and Whip who tried to jump him from behind a tree. Of course, things didn't work out so well for them. Whip tripped on her own shoelaces and Fuuma was too busy singing "Holiday Road", the theme to National Lampoon's Summer Vacation, to remember what he was supposed to do. The approaching buzz saw attack reminded him. The plucky ninja backed away with a bleeding arm and responded with a projectile shuriken, which nailed the blue meanie right in the chest. Jedah merely ignored it and smiled some more. Even when Whip's whip whip-cracked the side of his face, all he really did was giggle and snap his head to the left. "Oh, is that all you are capable of?" He asked in his happy voice. It changed to his dark voice. "Then let me remove you from your misery!" He reached out his arm and stabbed his fingers at the two upstarts. Whip whipped upward (at what, I have no clue) and disappeared into the sky while Fuuma was lacerated a couple times and collapsed. Jedah noticed the shadow over him, accompanied by a cry that kept getting louder and louder. The Vampire Savior merely floated a foot away, leaving Whip to crack her skull on the pavement. Still with his evil tone, he supplied, "Now you see that anyone who opposes me will be slaughtered like the goody pigs they are!" No later than he finished his sentence, a tooth in Jedah's mouth went flying, as caused by a flaming foot. And as you can guess, it was Kim Jae Hoon's flaming foot (of justice!). But after making the attack, Jae was swatted away by Jedah's arm. "Fool!" he barked. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say you're the one causing the trouble." Jedah's tooth grew back and he joyfully floated to his right. "Oh, you are the bright one, aren't you?" He drifted over to a sleeping Brad Vickers and the Driver. With the Driver still in the Daddy's Revenge, he was nevertheless standing. "Yes, it's definitely one of my better plans: a sleep spell that renders everyone who hears it unconscious. I'm not certain how you and your friends evaded its power, but don't be too afraid of me trying again. I was never a big fan of repeat performances." Jedah put his head right next to the Driver's and proceeded to lick the side of his face. The Driver didn't respond. "But there's no need for that anyway. Because I can merely walk over your corpse and bask in victory." "You don't stand a chance..." Jae stalled. Then he grinned. "Heh. What's your name again?" "Jedah," he growled. "You don't stand a chance, Jedah. Because you're evil. Maybe even pure evil. And as long as my heart beats justice, none of your like will ever prosper." "Such strong words," Jedah paused as he felt a disturbance. "Hm. I sense an overwhelming amount of innocence and goodness within you. Where have I felt this sensation before?" In Jedah's eyes, Jae's appearance changed to the appearance of Kim Kap Hwan. He then reverted back. "Of course! Kap Hwan!" Jedah smiled widely once more. "You must miss your father. I think I can reunite the two of you right now. Because you don't have a ghost of a chance, boy." "I don't think so," Skullomania's voice said behind Jedah. To his side was Zato-One. "I don't know much, but I do know that evil is wrong. You are evil. Hence, you are wrong and you will lose." "We're sending you back to Hell where you came from!" Zato-One threatened. "And we don't mean 'we' as in Zato-One and the shadow. We mean it as in the Scarlet Skull and that smiling kid too." "Hell? You think I come from such a weak realm as Hell?" Back to his dark voice. "Foolish heroes. The Dark World makes Hell look like kindergarten!" Zato-One grimaced and looked in Jedah's general direction. "I don't give a fuck whether you're from Heaven or Hell. Let's rock!" And so another battle began. [---] Garuda shook off the dead pieces of cactus that attached to him. The Korean kid got away yet again. The oni refused to rest until that boy and the power within him were destroyed. And again, It continued the quest. Unlike many others, Garuda could never forget about... uh... whatever his name was. "Jae..." Oh, right. Jae. Wait, who said that? "Jae..." NEG continued in her sleep. "No Jae... use the colored sprinkles. Yeah... there you go..." Garuda saw the girl, still lying in front of Violence Unlimited's HQ and talking in her sleep. The demon was confused. There were slight traces of Jae Hoon and Efrite all over the area, but they centered on the sleeping girl in the pink dobok. Garuda, being colorblind, couldn't tell the difference between her garb and the one Jae wore. Plus Garuda never really got a good look at Jae. It gained the sinking feeling that NEG was really Jae in disguise, trying to play possum and trick It. The blue-faced abomination needed to be sure. It neared the prone body. "Away from her you will get!" a voice rang out. Garuda turned Its head to see a large, dark shadow on a wall. And the figure owning that shadow soon followed. But instead of a mammoth challenger, it was only the petite Choi Bounge. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Choi screamed as he charged Garuda. The nimble one swiped at Garuda's chest, overcoming the blue spikes. Chang finally caught up and watched from afar as Choi used his speed to match Garuda's killing flair. They finally arrived from Korea only to find the place a ghost town. The big, bearded one didn't get that his best friend was fighting for his life. He just thought Choi was asking Garuda for directions. Chang Koehan wasn't exactly the brightest of people. [---] The beaten Skullomania and Zato-One crawled away from the maniacal Jedah. Jae seemed to be the most offensive of the demon's challengers, but even he was seemingly finished. He lay on his back as Jedah and his scythe neared. In the evil voice, Jedah told him, "Don't forget to write, boy. Farewell!" And with those words he swung the weapon downward. But Jae wasn't finished. He rolled back and made it to his feet. Without wasting a moment, he advanced in a blur and attacked Jedah with everything he had. It was his own incarnation of his father's renown Phoenix Flattener move. With the final kick, a Heinzan, he punted Jedah and sent him onto his back. Jae took a couple deep breaths and wiped the sweat from his head. He hoped it was over. But instead he groaned loudly when Jedah stood back up, smiling and without a hint of damage. Jae, not knowing what else to do, backed away slowly. "Don't you get it?" Jedah asked, evilly. "You can't hurt me! I live off of violence and evil! Every punch, kick and fireball does nothing more than make me more powerful! Your stupid attacks won't do you any good! Face it, fool! You have LOST!" Jae still backed away. But his look of fear gradually changed to confidence. "Okay, okay. But before you kill me, I just have one question." "What is it?" Jedah spat. "Are you familiar with the Shun Goku Satsu?" "What are you babbling on about?" "The Raging Demon. The Instant Hell Murder. The Autopilot Asskicking." Jedah kept floating forward. "It's a funny move, really. The guy doing it grabs you and submits you to an indescribable beating. They say it's like feeling a million deaths in an instant. But the thing is, it doesn't use punches or kicks or anything like that. It uses the sins of the victim's soul to destroy itself." Jedah, not too happy looking, continued to advance with his scythe in hand. Jae kept a safe distance. "Unfortunately, I don't know how to do it. I hear it causes madness to the user. But there are three guys I do know of who can do it. First is Ryu, but he gave up the attack when he decided to stay good. Besides, he fell off the face of the earth. Then there's God Rugal, but he lost the ability when he was cast down by some guy. And then there is Akuma. Logic would indicate that he'd be asleep thanks to you. But instead, for some reason, he's walking right behind you." "You really think that speech will fool me? Now quit whining and prepare to-- ACK!" "!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Akuma said as he playfully hugged Jedah. "WAIT! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" WHAPPITY-WHAPPITY-WHAPPITY-WHAP-WHAP-WHAP! *TING!* *TEN!* The positive force of Akuma's accidental attack caused Jedah's body to explode in a blue light as he screamed in true agony. When it died down, Akuma saluted the others, jumped, clicked his heels, and skipped away. The red smiley face tattoo shined. Jae, meanwhile, was helping up his allies. "I can't believe that worked. You guys all right?" Skullo rubbed the back of his head. "I guess. I mean, we won, didn't we?" "Yeah," Zato agreed. "We should do this more often, Skullo." "Well I have a feeling that every other week will involve us either at each other's throat or on the same team." "Sounds good to me. See you next week!" Zato was carried away by a black wave form of his shadow. Fuuma dusted himself off. "So do you think we've seen the last of him?" Whip shook her head. "The blind man really hasn't left yet. You can still catch him." "No, I mean that Jedah guy. What do you think, Jae?" "I hope we've seen the last of him. But... part of me believes he'll be back. But I'll still be here, ready to fight back." Whip brandished her weapon. "Well, I should be getting back home before the commander wakes up. I think I'm supposed to be mowing the rug. Bye bye, Fuumy! Bye bye, Jae!" She snapped her whip into the sky and pulled herself up once more. "WHIP AWAAAAAAAAAAY!" Fuuma watched her leave and waved. "What a nice girl. Oh, hey, I better do something before everyone wakes up. I'll see you back at the headquarters, Jae!" The red ninja hopped into an open manhole. "Bye, Fuuma." Jae didn't get a response. "Huh. Well, I better go check on my Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend. Hopefully she and the others are okay." [---] Choi Bounge sliced at Garuda with the amazing abilities he picked up from the years of reluctantly training under Kim Kap Hwan and Jhun Hoon. But unfortunately, Garuda's stamina was too much. The monster kept coming and coming and was beginning to wear Choi down. Garuda spun around like a top and smacked Choi away with a nice, clean hit. Chang looked on in confusion. "Chang, don't just stand there! Help me!" Chang rubbed his bald head. "Chang!" Then he scratched his beard. "Hm..." "Chang, do something!" "Gasp!" Chang gasped. He marched over and looked down at Garuda. "I figured it out! You're a villain!" Choi rolled his eyes. "You're a genius." Chang's head popped up and he quickly spun around. "Genius? Where?" During that gesture, Chang's iron ball conveniently made contact with Garuda and sent It flying across the horizon. It landed in the back of Convoy's pickup truck as it took off in the opposite direction. A waking Nameless Everpresent Girlfriend yawned. "Huh? What's going on?" "Hey, they're all waking up!" Chang stated. "Get off me, brute!" Ultros squealed at Hugo. "Bryrrrscmfrtbllll." "I don't care if I'm comfortable! I can hardly breathe!" [---] Stone woke up and rubbed his eyes. "Huh. Did I fall asleep in the middle of a fight or did that guy just beat the shit out of me?" Rock sat up. "We must have won. Look, Sakura's got his sombrero." "Heh. Yeah. I guess we did," Sakura nervously said while holding the overgrown hat up, her head peaking out the top. "Well," Rock continued. "The next things on the list are the ankle bracelets Blanka wears. Getting them won't be easy." "You said it, cousin. He's a part of that Dan Hibiki cult, from what I hear." Rock stood up. "Anyway, first thing's first. Sakura, can you pass me the hat?" Sakura blushed. "Uh, not really." "Are you all right, baby?" "Not really." Rock saw a brief flash of Sakura's shoulder and widened his eyes. "You *are* wearing clothes behind that hat, right?" Sakura continued to shield herself from view with the sombrero. "Not really." [---] "Karnov! Karnov! We have good news!" Bob piped. "Oh? What is it my little, green friend?" "Bub and I found a guy who can help track down the Chosen One!" "That is excellent news! Who is it?" Bub pulled a man into Karnov's office by his blue glove. This man looked short, hairy and really feral in his unique yellow, black and blue spandex outfit. "Karnov, meet our friend Logan." "Call me Wolverine." "We shared a dorm room in college," Bob stated. "He is an excellent tracker and would be an excellent addition!" "Just don't try to get me into your idiot beliefs, bub." "We'll try not to!" "Dammit, Bub, I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to Bob." Bob raised his hand. "But Logan, you said that..." "Stay out of this, bub." "I'm Bob!" "I know." [---] Author Notes: And the day is saved! Thanks to... Akuma, Chang and Choi! Writing a lot of fights can take a while, so I'm sorry if anyone felt cheated at some points. And yes, I did realize later on that this is incredibly similar to the MK3 storyline. But I hope you had a good time reading this chapter. Thanks go out to Grahf and black dub for prereading. And also thanks to Keio and Racewing for helping me flesh out some ideas. I should also thank the eDANgelist. Because if I didn't, it just wouldn't feel the same :) Up next is the darkest dub around: the black dub! Whoo! Gavin "Gavok" Jasper Half Horse Productions http://www.rit.edu/~gjj2192/ [---] Hanzou woke up among the legion of ninjas. First he noticed the smell. Then, when he sat up, he noticed the wetness in his pants. And his indignity grew when he saw that his hand was placed in a glass of warm water. Accusingly, he looked to his kind. "Which one of you assholes is behind this!?" While they all snickered, none of them admitted to anything. [---] Fuuma enjoyed some Doritos out of the bag Slayer held. The two of them stood among the grass, somewhere outdoors, in front of an empty desk and a globe. Fuuma munched on a chip and looked Slayer up and down. "Say, weren't you the bad guy from that Gargoyles cartoon?"