Kyo looked at the four men who sat across from him in his office, doing
his best to evaluate them on such short notice. They had arrived earlier
that day, separately, but within 15 minutes of each other. Each was 
dressed the same, wearing three piece suits and sunglasses. But clearly,
they were in fact nothing alike.

The first was staggeringly huge, easily well over eight feet tall, the 
breathing motion of his many rippling muscles was barely contained by the 
tailored Armani. His face appeared to have been carved from granite if
his expression were anything to go by, grim and angry, his scowl such
that his eyes may have well been closed. His skin was a leathery yellow, 
almost akin to scales, and his jet-black hair was tied into one long 
Chinese braid. The feature that stuck out most in Kyo's mind however, 
were the man's four brawny arms. Folded in front, the giant had a 
regular habit of popping his knuckles, filling the room with a sound of
splintering oak. On his right breast pocket was a nametag that read:
"Hi, my name is: Goro."

The second man was nowhere near as inhuman as the Shokan warrior, but
was no less intimidating. He wore a black and yellow mask that concealed
most of his face, but from what Kyo could make out, there was not much 
of a face left, as the man stared blankly with the eyes of the dead, 
and his breath was rank with the stench of burning flesh. Of the four,
he had chosen not to sit, instead leaning against an ornamental pillar.
He and Kyo required no introductions, as the undead ninja had helped
kidnap him a month earlier. And Scorpion was not someone any living man
forgot.

The third man was dressed more unorthodox than the others, choosing 
to wear a black steel breastplate over his suit jacket, and his head 
was concealed behind the mask of a dark-furred jaguar. He moved with 
the grace of a jungle cat, but his large frame told Kyo that the man 
preferred wrestling over any other combat form. Kyo figured this masked
man had ties to the wrestler King, but his lack of familiarity with the
Tekken tournaments left the man's identity unknown.

The final man was easily the most normal of the four, a lean Asian who
had no real distinguishing marks, other than dark, ancient eyes that 
seemed to lead into a bottomless well of pure darkness. But any time 
Kyo blinked, the man changed, however slightly, however briefly. One 
moment he was talking to a man who resembled a b-movie martial arts 
villain, then, between the blinks he was replaced by a wizened old 
codger, and then with a more Eurasian face. Kyo could not at all recall
any knowledge of the man, and he could be anyone for all Kyo cared.

"All right then," Kyo said from behind his desk, "I know those two guys, 
and I think the other big guy's name is King, but who are you?"

The man smiled, and Kyo felt somewhat afraid. He extended his hand in a 
friendly manner and said: "Shang Tsung."

Kyo sat back, now particularly worried. "As in the ancient Chinese demon
sorcerer who feeds upon the souls of the living?"

"Don't forget that I can assume the skill and power of anyone I meet," 
Shang added, "even if I haven't claimed their soul." He pointed to the 
armored man. "My associate was once called Armor King, until his life 
was ignominiously snuffed in a common barroom brawl."

Armor King turned, and Kyo noticed both the man's eyes were a blood red.

"But as I lay dying," Armor King said in a voice that was no longer 
human, "I turned away from the uncaring God, and pleaded to the powers of
Darkness, wanting nothing more than revenge. But I have learned that 
nothing is free: not even revenge. My fell master restored me to this 
realm, but as a vampire, cursed to feed from the blood of the living, 
while my soul burns in his eternal grasp. But all that matters to me now
is that all my enemies suffer as I did, and as they die they at last 
understand the Legacy of King."

Kyo was now sweating like a pig. "And I'm guessing you all now want to
do horrible things to me now right, because I've somehow screwed you 
all over?"

Kyo's four visitors stared at him in silence a moment, glanced at each 
other, then turned back to Kyo and laughed their asses off.

Shang was the first to regain his composure, and spoke: "Not at all. 
All four of us wish only to help you. We shall protect you from your 
enemies, strike down those against us, and even help you on certain 
business affairs."

Kyo ran through a list of his mind, noting the ever-growing list of 
enemies he'd made over the years. He could not however find any reason
for these new allies.

"Okay," he said, "joke's over. Who the Hell sent you guys?"

The second the words left his mouth Kyo knew who was behind this.

"Funny you should say that," came the voice of Blackheart, "Kusanagi." 
Although Kyo couldn't see the demon, he could in his mind's eye perceive 
the Dark Prince, leaning down over him, resting his arms on the back of
Kyo's chair. And although Kyo knew Blackheart's face was almost 
non-existent, he could tell the demon was smiling in a cruel fashion. 

"Believe it or not," the voice continued, "despite my earlier words, you 
are quite important to my plans, and it does not suit them if you are 
being kidnapped every hour to be fought over like table scraps between
dogs."

"Was that a compliment?" Kyo asked.

"Silence Mortal! You are to continue to rule this city as I have 
instructed, and I have left you these three bodyguards to see that you
do so unmolested. I expect results, Kusanagi, and when all comes to 
fruition you will have your rewards as promised in our contract."

"Just remember I keep my soul, even if this deal's pooched."

The room was filled with the demon's mocking laughter, and when it at last 
died down Kyo could feel Blackheart was gone as well.

"Our mutual benefactor is fully aware of the terms to your pact," Shang
said with a knowing smirk.

Kyo reached into his desk and began to pour himself a shot of whiskey. 
Then he paused, looked at Shang, and asked: "Wait, Blackheart said that
three of you are bodyguards. I figure that's what those guys are for. 
Why are you here Shang Tsung?"

"Publicly, I'm your new attorney and hatchet-man. I keep your nose clean.
However, my real job is far simpler: I make sure you don't fuck up."

Kyo downed the booze, then poured another. "Sounds fair enough. But I
want you four to know three things while you're under me. First, 
don't ever get wise with me again."

"Second?" Goro growled.

Kyo leapt onto his desk, his fury visible to each of them. "FIRE IS 
MINE YOU STUPID FUCKERS! IF I SEE YOU BITCHES LOBBING AROUND SO MUCH 
AS A PUFF OF SMOKE, I WILL PERSONALLY DRIVE MY LIMOUSINE UP YOUR ASS AND 
MAIL YOU BACK TO BLACKBITCH MYSELF!"

"Duly noted," replied Shang. "No fire from any of us. What is the third 
condition of our relationship to you?"

Kyo got down from the desk, pleased that these new guys were listening
to him.

"Can I have that beanie you wore during MK2?"

The sorcerer sat there silently for roughly 15 minutes, then pulled the 
hat in question from his breast pocket and tossed it to Kyo. "Deal."

Kyo put on the beanie, turning to the window and smiled. "Guys, I think 
this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

[---]

FORGOT ABOUT JAE

Chapter 16: Stirring Up Trouble

Original Recipe by Shelby "Darkheart One" Scott.

Additional Seasoning by Jim "Grahf316" Eperson.

Test-tasted by Gavin "Gavok" Jasper, who has detected no poison...yet.

[---]

Last Time on "Forgot About Jae"

- Abobo proved he is indeed the most terrifying being in town.

- The Driver carjacked Axel.

- Rock Howard got some with Sakura, and came away with her panties too.

- Many people got run over.

- Violence Unlimited no longer has an office, thanks to Garuda's lousy
driving.

[---]

"So," Cracker Jack said as he, Sharon and Poison were setting up the 
new office, "for the time being, this is the set-up we're using, so 
we'd damn well better get used to it."

What they had to get used to, in particular, was the fact that their 
"office" now consisted of a used lemonade stand Ultros had provided, 
and the Port-a-john they'd found Hugo cowering in after the Abobo 
fiasco, which served as CJ's office. Both of which were in front of 
what remained of their old office building. Suffice to say, things were 
not doing too well.

"Why'd we go with the Mario Brothers for rebuilding the place anyway?"
asked Poison as she adjusted the company sign atop the stand.

"Two words," CJ said as he opened the door to his 'office', "cheap 
bastards. Because those dickwads at Kusanagi Insurance won't cover us,
and are in fact denying that our building was destroyed in the first place,
we have to pay for reconstruction out of our own pockets. And that 
means hiring two guys who only know carpentry, plumbing, and jumping 
on things to rebuild the entire building, on the grounds they work for
pennies. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

It would be about then that Fuuma stuck his head up from the hole in 
the john.

"Hey there's some neat stuff down here guys..." the nincompoop ninja
said as CJ shut the door and turned back to his co-workers.

"Any more word from The Driver?" CJ asked, looking for anything that 
could turn a craptacular day into just a crappy day.

"Nope," Sharon said. "Aside from the fact he never talks, the poor 
bastard's still stuck in that thing..."

[---]

The Driver watched as the little blue haired old lady puttered past him
in her cherry red BMW sportscar, at such speeds that even the slowest of
men could walk up, open her door, and jack the car without even breaking
stride. The whole scene was Gee! Tee! Aii! Heaven, a rare once in a life
time opportunity for the perfect Jack. And there was absolutely nothing 
The Driver could do but watch and stare, as his arms and legs were now 
permanently locked into place courtesy of the vehicular torture device 
that was Daddy's Revenge.

So he just launched a pair of rockets, blowing the old biddy, and a 
passing Polnareff, into itty bitty pieces, dreaming of what might have 
been.

Then he realized needed to use the can...

[---]

"And we don't have enough money left in the budget left to send him to
Park World so he can get out of that thing," Sharon concluded.

"Bad news boss," Poison said, "Danists at 4 o'clock."

The three freelance enforcers watched as about 5 thousand weird balloon
things clad in pink gis rolled in front of them, then stood up and 
started spanking their asses, shouting "Chou, yoyutchi" at the top of 
their lungs.

[---]

Although He was countless miles, time zones, and several countries 
apart from the scene of the taunting balloon thingies, The Great God 
smiled. For indeed, it, was good, and worthy of the unparalled gloriest
of glories that was His school, Saikyo-Ryu. Dan was not a particularly
important god, nor even one that had enough recognition to be despised, 
but He was a wise and caring god, and accepted the offering they had 
made of the dignity of the heretic. But they would not be heretics one 
day, for on that day they would come to realize the true holiness that 
is Hibiki. After all, was it not He who had cast down the demon God 
Rugal, thus proving that in fact He did not suck? Was He not the one 
who had chosen Benimaru as His messenger, thus freeing him from his 
unfair lot, which He stuck to some funny looking Frenchman who still 
owed Him fifty bucks? Was it not He who...

"Hey," the Ecuadorian prison guard shouted, "back to work!"

Dan's internal sermon ground to a halt, and once again He swung the 
sledgehammer down onto the rocks.

"All I was trying to do was found a major world religion," He groused
out loud to no one in particular. "One that would unite all of humanity 
under a banner of peace, understanding and the pursuit of the perfect 
taunt. And here I am trapped down here, taking the rap for that slut 
Athena. I mean c'mon people, I don't even like her singing! Why would 
I be trying to swindle an entire country into buying her 'Worship ME, 
The Goddess Athena' CD single by mail? I was framed I tell you, but 
do you listen? Nooooo, you just leave me breaking rocks all day while 
chained to Mr. Personality here!"

Ryu, the most famous and toughest street fighter of all time, who also
happened to be the man who had been chained to Dan by leg irons, paused
from breaking his rocks to look at the frustrated god, his stern expression
unchanging. He then turned to look towards the setting sun, and spoke.

"When the rabbit breathes fire," he said, espousing the ancient teachings
of the Shotokan, "the boar sleeps soundly in his den."

"Just once," Dan said, resuming His hard labor, "I'd like one of your 
damn sayings to not sound like some garbled, half-assed 1980's Engrish
translation."

[---]

"And that's why I want to help you obtain the incredible power you seek 
Rock," Sakura said as she walked down the street alongside Rock Howard
and Stone Krauser, her arm firmly grasping Rock's bicep. "And once 
Ryu's free, he'll have no choice but to teach me as payment."

"I thought the reason you were with us was because you had this perverse
sexual lust for Rock," Stone said, adjusting his family mustache.

"That too," she said with a wry smile, "but just because I'm lusting 
after him doesn't mean I can't lust after abstracts such as power."

"Well just remember Sakura," Stone said grimly, "not all of us were 
meant to be all powerful."

Sakura stopped, letting go of Rock, and stood in place staring down at
her hands, her skin darkening to a rich bronze tan. "Well I should be," 
she said glaring at Stone with blood-red eyes. "One day, I will be the
most powerful Shoto ever, and then nothing will stand in my way."

Rock smirked. "But what my cousin didn't realize when he said that is 
that you are destined for greatness."

Sakura resumed her normal appearance, gave a huge smile, and latched onto
Rock again. "Wai! And that's where we're the perfect couple, Rocky-Chan! 
We both want to gain enough power to crush our enemies without having to 
cut deals with demons."

"Amen to that." Rock said, nuzzling up with his foul-hearted girlfriend.

"Well ain't that cute," Skullomania shouted as he bounded out of the 
shadows, the hero scarf he'd won from May Lee flapping free in the 
breeze while the huge buckle of his belt shone under the street lights.

"But in many ways so deeply wrong it disturbs your heart," Krauser 
asked, taking a few steps back from Rock and Sakura.

"Yeah," Skullomania said as he scratched his noggin, "that's one way of
saying it." The would-be superhero started jumping about them excitedly.
"So, I hear you three are looking for me, huh? You want my autograph? 
Be my sidekicks? Tell me that Spidey's finally accepted me as his heir?"

"Actually," Rock said as he assumed a fighting stance in case things 
turned ugly, "I'd like that scarf and belt you have."

"Forget it, I won these fair and square against that May Lee girl! If 
you want them you'll have to fight me for them, blondie."

"Have it your way," Sakura said as she popped her knuckles.

Skullo leapt back. "Nope, I don't do tag battles. It's just the kid in 
the cargo pants or no deal."

Rock shrugged and smirked. "All right then, I accept. I mean, you're one
of South Town's biggest jobbers, this fight'll be a breeze."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Skullomania said. "You see, I've gone through 
some changes lately."

"Like what?"

"I was bitten by a radioactive Doppelganger, watch." The three youths 
watched as Skullomania began to change. First he got more muscular, 
while an additional four arms srouted from his sides, and his mask tore
open along the bottom, revealing a wide, fanged maw.

"Cool, huh?" the mutated superhero said.

"Maybe we should call S.T.A.R.S.," Stone said.

[---]

"I never should've gone to Korea," Brad Vickers said as he drove down 
the street in a blind panic, his pursuer gaining upon him at an alarming 
rate. Brad glanced in the rear-view mirror. That, that, THING was still 
behind him, grinning a cold smile of death.

"C'mon Brad! Floor it," came the voice from within the car, "I don't 
want to think of what'll happen if he catches me. Just a few more blocks
buddy, we have to warn Jae."

"Who the hell's Jae?" Brad screamed at the dashboard.

"Aw Brad, now is NOT the time to tell me you forgot about Jae! 'cause 
if I don't make it, you're going to have to...Turn here."
  
The old Studebaker fishtailed around the corner, and began hurtling down
Hill Street. People scattered out of the way as the vehicle went past 
with no regard for speeding limits, crushing Polnareff under its wheels.
Brad swerved to avoid anyone else, his heart beating so fast it might 
have just jumped out of his mouth. Turning again and onto 5th avenue, 
both he and his long-time companion breathed a sigh of brief respite. 
They'd put enough distance between themselves and their pursuer that at
last they could try to lose it safely. Brad had been drummed out of 
the force for being a craven coward, but today those instincts had 
saved not only his life, but that of his friend.

"So," Brad said, "How long do you think we have until he picks up our 
trail?"

"If we're lucky, we'll have warned Jae and split this town by then.
There is some seriously bad mojo going down here, Brad, and I don't 
intend to be here when it does."

"I'll drink to that."

"Gimme s'more gas, then head for the freeway."

Silently, Brad complied, and the car picked up speed as it crossed over
the bridge. It wouldn't be long now, Brad thought. Just warn this Jae
kid, and they'd be home free. He'd survived Raccoon, he could sure as 
Hell survive South Town.

* CRUNCH *

Brad jerked forward as the car collided with something that had appeared 
in the middle of the road. As the car came to a grinding halt, He 
thanked his lucky stars that he'd been wearing his seatbelt. Granted,
it felt like he had a concussion, but he was alive, and that was always
a plus. Then he looked out what remained of the windshield and knew he
was a dead man.

It was that monster they'd been trying to get away from. Somehow it had 
gotten here ahead of them and had ruined the car, and thus their only 
hope for survival. Seeing it up close, Brad began to wonder how they'd
managed to last this long. The entire beast reminded him of when he'd 
seen a grizzly bear as a child, a huge, terrifying creature of nightmare,
only clad in dark samurai armor, and with a snarling metal death mask for 
a face. Brad knew the monster's name, it had been told to him that morning:

"Garuda," he whispered.

The Oni looked Brad in the eye, then punched down through the hood of 
the car, right on into the engine block, with all the ease of punching
through cardboard, before pulling out the spirit that had dwelled in the 
engine for the past two years: Dao, Elemental Spirit of Earth.

The rocklike being struggled in the Oni's grasp, his head clutched in 
Gardua's vicelike grip. He tried to escape by turning into a sandstorm,
but Garuda's grip was too tight, and thus Dao was powerless to escape.

Brad watched as the Oni produced a tiny silken bag from its belt, shook
it open, and it began to stuff Dao into the bag, which opened wide enough 
to accept the elemental, but retained its tiny dimensions. Within 
moments, Dao was gone, the bag was tied shut, which then disappeared 
within the Oni's grasp.

Something snapped inside Brad, having been forced to watch the entire 
scene helplessly in fear, as he reached for the gun he had on the 
passenger side front seat. It took only a moment to cock it before he 
unloaded the full clip point blank into the Oni. Garuda flinched,
covering it's face like it was being swarmed by mosquitoes, as each 
bullet struck the creature. But Garuda did not fall down. Instead, It
moved over to the driver's side door, which it tore off effortlessly, 
then pulled Brad from the wreck. The Oni studied the man, tasting his 
fear and hatred. Then, its hunger satisfied, Garuda dropped the human 
onto the pavement, flipped the now ruined car onto its back for no other
reason than the fact that Garuda could, and disappeared into the night.

Brad lay there on the side of the road, taking to keep hold of his 
sanity after what he'd witnessed. Then, he slowly got himself to stand,
and stuck his thumb out so as to hitchhike.

It was then that Dame Fortune finally smiled that night, as Brad was 
surprised to see that the man who decided to pick him up was driving a
vehicle which was little more than two giant wheels with said nameless
wheelman as its literal axle.

"Hey," Brad said as he approached The Driver, "I need your help. Do you
know a guy named Kim Jae Hoon?"

The Driver nodded.

"Great, can you give me a lift to his place, because there's something
very important I have to warn him about, or we are in serious trouble..."

[---]

Rock Howard was in serious trouble. The mutated Skullomania was almost 
literally walking all over him in this fight, and the supposed power of
the costume pieces he'd been assembling over the past few days was 
beginning to seem like just a fairy tale concocted by Kain. Skullomania's
6 fists flew like lightning, knocking Rock against the wall, which the 
mutant superhero followed up with by leaping on top of Rock's head, 
knocking him to the ground.

"Well," Skullo said, "I see that that last one FLOORED you, didn't it."

As Rock drew himself to his feet, he made a note that after destroying
Jae, he'd come back and make this costumed loon pay for each and every 
pun. Right after he beat the crap out of Kain for making up such a 
bogus story. However, his train of thought was derailed as Skulloganger
caught him in a hold.

"How's that grab ya?" said Skullo, as he began pounding away on rock 
with his other 4 arms.

Off to the side, Sakura and Stone watched the fight, while commenting.

"You know he's feeling that in the morning," Stone said, averting his 
eyes as Rock was spiked like a football.

"True," Sakura replied," but if you've been paying attention, Rock's now
in a perfect position to really start laying on the punishment. One 
Raging Storm and he'll turn the tide."

Stone shook his head. "Right, but with Skullo's offense, he can't get 
the right opening for it."

Sakura smirked. "I think I know just the thing." Before Stone could ask
she walked over closer to the fight and whistled. This distracted Rock, 
as he loosed a Reppuken at Skullo, who nimbly scuttled out of the way.
The stray projectile whipped past Sakura, the wake of rushing air from 
it lifting her skirt all the way up. Both Rock and Skullo stared, as 
did Stone.

Sakura giggled. "Whoopsie, I guess I forgot to replace that pair I gave
you, Rocky-chan. Now feed him some whoopass, baby!"

Rock smiled evilly, while Skullo kept staring. Seizing the gift of her 
distraction, Rock gathered his chi, and unleashed the full fury of the
"Raging...STOOOOOOOOOORM!!!"

Skullo turned away from Sakura, only to see the swirling violet vortex 
of Rock's super move, and wisely took 3 steps back, outside the blast
radius. However, much to his surprise (and that of the 3 youths), the 
whirlwind lurched forward, catching him in it and plunging him through
half an abandoned tenement building. Right before he lost consciousness,
amidst the debris and falling bricks, Skullomania said: "You win."

Rock stared at the path of destruction he had caused, blinking in almost
disbelief, but closer to awe. "It moves..." he said.

Stone clapped Rock on the back, knocking him to the ground. "I'll say,
that thing was like Joe Higashi's Screw Upper on steroids."

"Well," Sakura said as she took the scarf and belt from Skullo and 
handed them to Rock, "I'd say that's fair proof that wearing the full
costume will be worth being seen wearing it. So who's next?"

Rock fished the list from his pocket, and looked at the next item on 
the list. "Amingo's sombrero. That's the next step in my quest to take
my revenge upon Kim Jae Hoon."

[---]

Kim Jae Hoon, along with Hugo, Ultros, and Fuuma, sat inside the Violence
Unlimited van, listening to CJ.

"Now look guys," their boss said from the front, "I can't tell you 
enough how important our being successfully paid for this assignment is.
I want absolutely no-screw ups, and I mean you, Fuuma. You're to go in,
get the info we need, then get out without causing a scene. Now, before
I throw you out there, are there any last minute questions?"

"Uh, yeah," Ultros said. "Why aren't Poison and Sharon on this job? I
mean, they'd cause less ruckus than we could."

"A good question. They can't make it because they're pounding the crap 
out of about five thousand balloon thingies." CJ turned to Jae. "What?"

"Exactly why do we have to pretend to be women, including wearing these
dresses?"

"Because it's the only way we can sneak you bastards in close enough
to get the job done on what budget we have left."

"Ooh, ooh," Fuuma said, "I have a question. How many Shotos can a 
Shotokan kan if a Shotokan can kan Shotos?"

"Hugo, hit him for me. I'm still trying to find a parking spot."

*Whack*

[---]

And so chapter 16 draws to a close, and the way is now paved for chapter
17 to be penned by Neroman. Hopefully you'll enjoy his chapter as much
as you did mine, and that this chapter raises the bar for FAJ excellence.

Ja ne,

Grahf316