On the outskirts of South Town is an old building that has long catered
to the needs of the city, taking in its tired and restless, those whom 
society would prefer to have never existed, with the eventual hope of
sending those within its walls back into the world. But, when said 
establishment is none other than the infamous Blackfield Asylum, the hope
that anyone confined within its walls would eventually be released was
far more aptly described as fear.

To Moe Habana and Bao, better known to the city at large at Battler Girl
and the Bao Wonder, they had little choice. Inside there were countless
madmen, but one of those madmen was their only hope. 

"So," chuckled Dr. Baldhead, the asylum director, as he walked down the 
ill-lit hallway with the detested duo, "I understand that there's 
someone in our extra-special 'my god man what have you done?' ward that
you'd like to visit and/or break out?" He chuckled again.

"Yes," said Moe. "He's the half-brother of a friend of ours, and we need 
him to help us while our friend recovers."

"I see. He hasn't had many visitors you know Not since he nearly 
killed an orderly over a bit of trivia." Another chuckle. "Might I ask
what happened to your friend?"

"Well, it's like this..."

[---]

The Detested Trio had been ambushed! What had begun as a simple 
investigation of Cheng "The Chenguin" Sinzan's Woo Casino and All-Night 
Buffet had become a fairly sticky situation. It had started simple, with
the trio beating down a few thugs and hired goons. Then Chenguin had sent 
in wave after wave of professional mooks. The kind that dressed all in 
black with their criminal nickname stenciled on the front, like "Mah", 
"Jhong" or "Lucre". Again, these guys weren't too much trouble, that is 
until Chenguin had brought in the hired muscle: A really big masked and 
drug enhanced Italian boxer named Bash.

The Chenguin was over by the salad bar smacking his ass at Battler girl, a 
cigarette holder clenched in his teeth.

"Waugh waugh wauggh," he sneered, as he smacked that ass again and 
again, "this time you pathetic poseurs haven't got a chance. Between 
my goons and Bash, this time you fools will be nothing more than a 
footnote in the next Sports Illustrated For Kids."

"OH-SO-LA-LOSERS," Bash sang, "I'M-A-SO-GONNA-BREAK-YO ASS! YOU'LL-A
THINK-IT-AN-HONOUR, TO-GET-BASHED-IN-BY-BASH!"

"I never figured him for a tenor," Battler Girl quipped as he punched 
Lucre in the face.

"No time for witticism now Battler Girl," Battler Man said. "We aren't
OOSHA, after all. I'll take on the big guy, the rest of you get Sinzan."

With that brave, yet not terribly bright announcement of their attack 
plan, the Linebacker Crusader launched himself into the air. Or, that 
was his intent, before he lurched forward grasping his lower lumbar.

"Oh my back," he shouted, "I think I threw my back out." He was then 
punched in the face by Bash, knocking him out.

[---]

"Oh, my," Baldhead said with yet another amused chuckle, "that is a rather
good story and reason. I have a question though."

"And that is," Moe asked.

"How did you escape such impressive numbers?"

"Well, both Bash and Chenguin fell over like they'd been shot, and their 
goons scattered. The thing is though, nobody there had a gun."

Bao took this moment to switch the cowboy hat he was wearing while no
one was looking with his usual cap and stuffed it down his shorts. Nobody
noticed.

"Well," Baldhead said, "I'm sure it wasn't that important." He stopped 
before an ominous looking reinforced steel door.

"At any rate," he said, "We're here."

He knocked on the door.

"Mr. Maximum," he said quietly, "Johnny, you have visitors. Are you 
awake?"

"Send me in Coach," came a deep, gravelly voice from inside the cell,
"I can do it. I'll win it for the Gipper, and it ain't so kid. Laces 
out Aikman. LACES OUT!"

"Let me talk to him," Moe asked, taking the place of the obliging doctor,
"Johnny, I'm Moe. Your half-brother sent me. We need your help."

Silence.

"Our team needs you Johnny, our star player is out and it's 4th down, 
can you do it?"

Her words were met with more silence, until the door buckled under a 
resounding impact from inside the room. The three outside backed away, 
as the door was pushed off of its hinges to reveal a huge and muscular 
football player who looked as if he had stepped out from the deepest 
pits of Hell, bedecked in red, black and gold as he was with his glowing 
red eyes.

"I'm J. Maximum," he announced, thumping his chest "and I will, send
anyone against us to the morgue!"

Moe sweatdropped, then pulled Baldhead aside "you never said he had 
super strength or that he was still a raging lunatic!"

"Well," the doctor said, "we don't get much money, so we rent out 
patients to various research firms. Mr. Maximum here is recently 
returned from being used to test an experimental steroid."

"And now he has to fill in until Battler Man gets better. Oh yeah, we're
fucked."

[---]

Forgot About Jae

Chapter 13: Lemon-Aide

Originally trained in Kamiya-Kassin-Ryu by Shelby "Darkheart One" Scott

This chapter was taught Hiten-Mitsugiri-Ryu by Grahf316

Proofread by: Gavok, master of the Futae No Kawami

[---]

Last Time on Forgot About Jae:

- The life and very possible death of Skullomania was at last revealed.

- Kyo got kidnapped again, this time by the Mean Street Posse of Lucky 
Glauber, who has allied himself with Clay9999

- Angel was damn sexy

- Various characters discussed their sex lives and family problems

- E. Honda was declared a minor god

[---]

It was a very rare sight to see either Jae or his Nameless Everpresent 
Girlfriend without seeing the other in close proximity, as was the case
that night when Jae awoke from a brief nap. He looked about the room, 
wondering where NEG could have gotten to, and if this was part of one
of the games they played on each other. Then he remembered that NEG had
said earlier that she was going to stop down at the Quick-Save and pick
up some groceries and a lottery ticket or two. Jae relaxed, when the 
phone rang. Reaching over, he picked it up and answered.

"Hello," he asked.

"Hi sweetie," came the woman's voice on the other end.

"Hi Mom," Jae replied, speaking to his surviving parent, "How are 
things?"

"Just fine dear," she said, "Your brother left home a few weeks ago to 
go on a voyage of self-discovery like the one you are on, and your Uncle 
Chang had another mild heart attack. He's okay now, but Choi wants him to 
go on a diet."

"Well, that's good to hear. I take it you'll all be coming here next week?"

"I'm not I'm afraid. I love and miss your father every day, but I don't feel 
up to traveling. I'm afraid I'll have to miss this year. Chang and Choi 
should arrive on the 23rd, but I don't know about your brother."

"I see. Thanks Mom. Is there anything else?"

"Well, since I don't get out much anymore, and to pay the bills I sold the 
family car. Dao, you remember him he's that spirit in the engine, he up and 
left us, saying something about the alignment of dark powers, hopped into 
a passing truck's engine and we never heard from him again, so now the Family
car won't run anymore. I'm not sure if Marid's still here either, I haven't used 
her power in years."

"I see. If I see them I'll let you know."

"Thanks. I guess that's it for now, I'll call again some other time to find 
out how you're doing. Lousy long distance plan..." and with that she hung up.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Leaping up from the Murphy bed, he 
short-jumped across the room to answer it, only to find NEG, distraught, 
disheveled and covered in yellow goo, as she put herself in his arms 
with the words "I was lemoned" on her voice.

[---]

Roughly four minutes before those words were spoken NEG walked down the
street on her way back to the apartment they shared from the convenience
store. However, if one were to look closer, one would notice that she 
was walking faster than normal, occasionally looking back behind her, 
as if she were being followed, and wished to lose her pursuer. This was
in fact the case, although NEG was actually still uncertain she was being
followed other than a definite feeling she was being watched. While it 
was home to several beings of incredible power as of late, South Town 
was still the same den of vice, crime and corruption it had been under
the rule of Geese Howard. Life was cheap, and innocence was a thing 
lost easily and all too often in the dark corners where the people 
would turn a blind eye because to do otherwise would put them at the 
same risk as the victim. While this fact was looming in her mind, NEG 
was also keeping in her mind the closing distance between her and the 
safety of their apartment. As she came within sight of the building, 
NEG's confidence grew, knowing she was safe from whatever had been 
following her, if she was indeed being followed. She had passed several
dark alleyways, and other sites where if her pursuer had meant her harm
they would have had the perfect opportunity.

Now believing herself to be completely safe, she stepped into the 
elevator to take herself up to the third floor where Jae would be 
waking up. She breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that she was safe.

Which was when the maintenance hatch on the top of the elevator car 
opened suddenly, and a writhing mass of dark purple tentacles came 
pouring down through the hole, followed by the creature's head, which 
bore an impossibly wide fanged maw. The creature smiled and said, "Now, 
how 'bout you and me have some fun babe..."

[---]

"It was a hentai tentacle beast?" Jae said, interrupting the story NEG 
was relating to him while he helped towel the junk out of her hair. 
He'd heard stories of the creatures, beasts told to teenaged girls to 
keep them on the straight and narrow, but he'd never believed in them.
Yet to learn that one had worked its way with his Girlfreind in their 
building...

"Not exactly," NEG said, interrupting Jae's train of thought, "I mean,
it felt me up, but it was more like it was tickling me than a grope. 
then it pulls out of nowhere bottles of lemon juice and various cream 
pies and covers me in them while taping it on a camcorder. It was more
like some Lovecraftian beast playing a childish practical joke on me
than anything else. Then the doors opened and I ran. You know the rest."

"But this thing still stalked and lemoned you."

"Yes."

Jae stood up, striking a heroic pose. "Then as my dim brother would say:
I KNOW NOW WHAT I MUST DO!"

"And what is it you must do?"

"Find this thing and beat it senseless. Who knows, maybe I can reform 
it like Dad did Chang, Choi and the Jin brothers."

"You do that," NEG said as she stood up and headed for the bathroom, 
"I'm going to take a nice long shower to get rid of this crap."

"Do you want me to help you get those hard-to-reach spots?"

"No, I think I can do it myself for once." 

Jae was dumbstruck for a moment. This creature had traumatized her to 
the point that she turned down one of her favorite activities. It had 
to pay.

[---]

Rock Howard felt every inch a complete dork. He'd worked hard to achieve
his image of being an embittered yet stylish lone wolf, and now this 
last insult from beyond the grave of his father ruined it. Having 
replaced the black jeans he now wore a deep red hakama, a gift to him
according to Geese Howard's will. He moved about in them, noting how 
they made him look ridiculous.

"On the plus side though," he mused, "these are pretty comfortable."

"That's because those are your father's Emergency Pants," Said his uncle 
Kain.

Rock raised his eyebrow. "Emergency Pants?"

"Yes. As you know, Geese had this annoying habit of being dropped 
off of his building by Terry Bogard. Those pants gave him the 
ability to survive being killed in such a fashion, if you'll excuse
the pun."

"I won't. Besides, if these pants really do protect me from falling 
to my death, how come that's what killed Geese?"

"Well, you see..."

[---]

Geese Howard had just fallen off of the roof of his building. He'd
been smashed through the newly installed protective railing, and 
was about to plummet down towards the unforgiving concrete once again.

That was when Terry Bogard grabbed his arm.

"I'm not going to let you die Geese," Terry said, "You're going to 
pay for your crimes in jail."

"Noble," Geese sneered, "foolish, but noble. Just like your father. 
I'll see you in Hell, Bogard!"

And with that, the king of South Town let go, laughing cruelly as he 
fell.

That's when he noticed the note sticking out of his pocket. Figuring 
he had time, he gave it the once over. It read:

Hey Geese, took your lucky pants out to be pressed and cleaned. Left 
this exact copy for you. Hope you don't mind
- Billy

As Terry walked away from the rooftop ledge, he could have sworn he 
heard the words "FUCK YOU BILLY KANE!"

[---]

"So the old man died because it was laundry day?"

"Yes."

"Figures." Rock started for the motel door.

"Incidentally," Kain said as he continued to read over the will, "it 
mentions here that those emergency pants are only a part of the 
'Ultimate Ensemble'."

Rock turned back towards his despised uncle. "The what?"

"The Ultimate Ensemble. According to your father's will, his 
Emergency Pants are only one part of the ultimate fighting uniform. 
Wear the entire matching set, and you would gain limitless power. 
More than enough to crush your rival."

"What's the catch?"

"You have to work for me for another 6 months."

"Forget it. I'll win with these pants and my own power."

"Very well. If you change your mind however..." Kain purposely trailed
off, hoping to entice the boy, but Rock had already left.

Rock walked off into the night, the power of the pants now added to his 
fighting spirit.

"Soon," he said under his breath, recalling his past humiliations, "Kim
Jae Hoon, revenge will be mine." He paused and thought, "or was it Kim 
Dong Hwan? Well, just to be sure I'll destroy them both."

[---]

In the forest just outside of south town, J.P. Polnareff was running for
his life. He'd had enough of dying in the past few days, and this time 
he was going to make sure he didn't die until he was good and ready. Of
course, there was the small matter of that demon samurai chasing after 
him. JP could hear the creature further back in the forest, the blades 
about its spinning form slicing through the virgin timber about it. 
And as fast as Polnareff ran, Garuda was catching up.

"What the Hell was I thinking when I went back there," he shouted to the 
uncaring heavens, "and why the fuck did I think that thing was dead and 
thus safe to approach?"

Polnareff stopped shouting though, when he saw he'd reached the main 
highway. Spotting a car approaching, he flagged it down any which way he
could, which included an interpretive dance.

The sound of Garuda's chopping blades grew closer.

Fortune was smiling on JP that night though, as the car pulled up and the 
driver's side window opened to reveal a fairly attractive brunette woman.

"Going my way handsome," she said with a seductive smirk.

"Mais ouis," Polnareff said as he saw the glint of sharpened steel in the 
darkness behind him, "This masked lunatic's been trying to kill me for days
now, and I want to get as fucking far away from him as possible!"

"Well hop in babe," she said, eyeing Polnareff with undisguised lust. 
After he got in the blue sports car drove off into the night. Garuda came
whirling out of the woods moments later, eyeing the car. It had not been 
The Prey It sought, nor The Prey's 3 siblings. But Garuda had come to 
recognize that bag of meat, and after their last encounter, decided that 
killing the human was an excellent way to enjoy his 2 hour break.

Garuda took another step forward, beginning the long walk back into the 
city. That's when It heard the blaring horn behind Itself. The oni spun 
around just in time to see the monster truck bearing down on It. Garuda 
had not been in the human realm long, and thus was unfamiliar with 
speaking their language. It was a fast learner though.

"Fuck."

Mike and Stu bounced in their seats as their monster truck, Hammerhead, 
ran over Garuda, high-fiving each other with typical reckless glee.

"Oh Hell yeah, man," Stu said as he fiddled with the radio, filling the cab
with Rob Zombie's "Dragula", "that was just killer the way he went crunch 
under us."

"Totally dude," replied Mike. "Stupid shit shoulda watched where he was 
goin'!" Mike's eyes turned towards the road. "Hey, load up the machine 
guns, we're almost in range of that Spectre bitch."

"You got it!" Stu paused, cocking his ear to an unfamiliar sound, like 
someone had just landed on top of them. "Dude, what was that?" he said.

"Your imaginary boyfriend!"

"Fuck you. Listen, there is something messed up here."

Suddenly, a steel blade as long as their arms pierced down through the roof
between them, then was pulled along before the roof was torn open by a 
visibly pissed off Garuda, who had caught the back and had climbed Its 
way back up over the truck.

Fearing for their lives, Mike and Stu bailed out of Hammerhead.

Garuda sat down in Stu's seat, and attempted to turn the truck back towards 
South Town. The best It got in doing so was throwing the truck into full 
reverse, which crushed Club Kid into Club Kibble. But that was in the direction
It wanted, so Garuda didn't mind.

[---]

In his personal blimp, Calypso watched the events on the highway. This year's
Twisted Metal Rat Race was going along swimmingly, and the news that Club Kid 
was killed brought a smile to his horribly burned face. At last, his tournament
was free of the inane, and now there were only the evil, and the insane.

[---]

Battler Man lay stretched out over the Battler-Massage Table, as Richard 
Meyer worked his magic fingers over his back.

"Oh yeah," Brain said, enjoying the healing process almost as much as 
saying 'Hanzou'...

...Damn, that does feel good.

Anyway...

"A little lower my friend," Battler said. "Yeah, at this rate I should 
be back on the streets in no time. Oh fuck that feels great."

"Actually," Meyer said, "This is just my warm-up. I haven't actually 
started yet. But do not worry sir, I won't feel a thing."

"But what about me?"

"Oh I'm afraid this is going to hurt like a bitch."

Meyer then began to twist Battler Man like a pretzel, causing the Dark 
Nugget to scream like a little girl.

Elsewhere in the Battler-Cave, J. Maximan, Battler Girl and the Bao 
Wonder were on the Battler-Phone with Yuki Kushinada discussing Kyo's
recent kidnapping .

"He got kidnapped again?" asked the Bao Wonder.

"Yes," replied Yuki, "security reports that he was grabbed by Luke 
Glauber's Mean Street Posse this morning."

"Are they still found at the abandoned blaxploitation movie theatre," 
asked Battler Girl.

"Yes."

"Do we get paid extra if we maim the other team coach?" grunted J. 
Maximan.

"Yes."

"Right, to the Battlermobile!"

[---]

Jae knew he was on the right track. After he had left the apartment to
track the creature that lemoned NEG, he had found a lemon-scented slime
trail leading from the elevator. He followed the trail down the stairs, 
out of the building, across a busy freeway, past Kusanagi Tower, and 
into the abandoned theatre district. Now the trail led to one old theatre 
in particular, that bore the words "Kung Pow" on the marquee. Soon, Jae 
thought, Justice would be served. Much righteous ass-kicking would ensue, 
to be followed later by a post-victory groping at NEG's hands and other 
body parts. However, there was one small problem: someone was in his way.

"Away with you," the handsome elven man said, his blue topcoat fluttering
in the wind, "this is a matter that does not concern you."

"I'm afraid it does," Jae replied as slowly moving into a fighting 
stance. "As a would-be Hero of Justice (TM), I have to avenge my 
girlfriend's honor."

"While I have to destroy this beast on a matter of principle," the man 
summoned to his hand a glowing pink energy sword, "for I am the pursuer 
of the perverse, enemy of the ecchi, for I am Hentai Hunter Slash, Hero 
of Justice (TM)!"

"Wait, you're a Hero of Justice (TM) but your name means gay porn?"

"No, Slash, as in I slash you with my sword."

"That sounds like gay porn to me."

Slash facepalmed at the cheap comedy, then pointed his blade at Jae.
"At any rate," he said, "we are both Heroes of Justice (TM), and we both 
want a crack at the beast inside, but only one of us can do it."

"Well," Jae said with a smile, "I guess this means we settle this the 
old-fashioned way then: The heroic misunderstanding brawl. Whoever's 
less is tired after two minutes goes in. How does that sound?"

"Yes, that would be perfect, I..." Slash trailed off, then started to 
sweat and panic. "Oh Hell I said it."

Jae scratched his head. "What, Perfect?"

Slash reacted to Jae as if he'd blurted out a spoiler on opening night
while in the middle of the movie. "SHHHHHHH! Don't say that word around
me!"

In the distance, a faint rumbling sound was heard.

"Why? What's wrong with saying Perfect?"

The rumbling sound grew louder.

"AUGH! You said it again, I..." Slash stopped as he looked down the 
street. He dropped his sword while his face held a cartoonish expression
of fear before he ran away screaming in abject terror. Moments later, Jae 
hopped to his left as the demonic spheroid stampede that was The Fernandez
Fangirls ran past him, chasing their bishonen idol across town while 
proclaiming their undying love for him.

A minute after they passed Jae found the words to describe what had 
just happened: "Now that was messed-up."

"I hear that," said the tentacled creature as it slithered out from behind 
the theatre's ticket booth.

"You," Jae shouted, "prepare for a sound yet just thrashing by my feet
of fury!"

The creature shirked away, raising its tentacles to protect its face.

"Will this involve chainsaws," it asked.

"No."

"Will it involve fire?"

"Yes."

The creature then did something Jae did not expect. It latched onto his
feet and started begging.

"Please don't hurt me, I didn't mean to get any of the juice in her 
eyes! You gotta believe me man, I was only doing it because I needed the
money!"

"May I say something Mister..."

"Ultros."

"Mr. Ultros, you have got to be the most incompetent hentai demon I have 
ever seen."

Ultros looked up at Jae, blinked, then spoke in a hurt tone. "I'll have
you know I'm a mutant cephalopod, not a demon. And what do you mean by 
incompetent?"

"Well, for starters you're a coward."

"Darn tootin. Guy can get killed taking on some of the people in this 
town."

"Second, you don't want to rape and hurt innocent women."

"What? Rape? Oh God no, I'm firmly opposed to violence against women.
Besides, they have cooties."

"So basically you just run around humiliating people like on Candid Camera?"

"Yeah," Ultros paused to light himself a cigarette. "Kusanagi TV pays
squat, but a once-famous monster's got to make a living somehow. Heck, 
I'd settle for being the mascot for a freelance vigilante agency."

Jae smiled as he walked alongside Ultros. "You know, I think I can help
you with that."

As they walked away, they failed to notice the careening and out-of-control
Battlermobile as it crashed through the Old Blaxploitation theatre.

"By the way, How'd you like to be the sidekick of an aspiring Hero of 
Justice (TM)?"

[---]

Lucky, Kane, and Clay9999 sat in a circle around the war room table, 
which had been dragged closer to the throne, while discussing recent 
sports events.

"5 hundred clams," said Lucky as he threw some money on the table,
"says My man Heavy D'll beat that Micheal Max bitch in the first 
minute, then pound the crap out of Axel Hawk for an encore."

"Urrrggh!!!" groaned Kane.

"Say what?"

"He said", said Clay9999 as he tried to pull his mutated arm from out 
of the throne, "that Heavy D would lose to Steve Fox after that."

"Hey, no way my homey's losin' to some pissy limey!"

"Rrrrrgh!"

"Listen Kane, he'd smack yo bitch ass too."

Meanwhile, Angel had been behind a dressing screen that displayed her
shadow as she was changing into one of her variant color fighting 
outfits. Just in case you were wondering where she got to.

She had just stepped out from behind the screen when the elliptical 
shape of the Battlermobile smashed through the wall, and the Battler Man
Brigade clambered out of the vehicle.

"You're not Battler Man," Clay9999 screamed. "You're his crazy 
half-brother on the rampage! Again!"

"56," J. Maximan shouted to no one in particular as he hunkered down 
into a crouch, "78, 90! HUT!" He charged Lucky with a shoulder 
tackle, and then punted him into clay9999.

Losing no time, the rest of the team swung into action. As J. Maximan
took on the ringleaders, the Bao Wonder turned into a fireball and 
launched himself at Kane, only to by batted aside by the man's staff. 
Bao Wonder decided to just lob fireballs at him after that. Battler
Girl leapt into the air and landed on Angel, wrestling the curvaceous 
and scantily-clad silver haired hottie to the ground, where they began 
to wrestle in the standard 70's catfight style with much puling of hair
and clothing. Just so you know.

In fact, when compared to their fight with the Chenguin last night, The 
Battler Man Gang was kicking serious ass. That is, until the Bao Wonder 
made a fatal mistake:

He taunted.

"Hey Mr. Stick-man," he shouted as he prepped his groin kick as he'd 
been taught, "your shoelace is untied!"

Everyone in the theatre heard him, most notably J. Maximan, as he drop
kicked a nigh-comatose Lucky, and turned in the direction of the Bao 
Wonder. He was breathing in and out heavily, and his red eyes were 
glowing with a fiery hatred.

"Laces, Out," he growled, advancing on his team-mate with the intent to 
destroy. "LACES OUT!"

What happened next was 15 minutes of indescribable pain for any man in 
that room not named J. Maximan, as he went on a mindless rampage.

15 minutes later as the smoke cleared there was a J. Maximan sized hole 
in the wall where he had smashed his way out to destroy more things, Bao
Wonder was barely alive, there was a good chance Lucky, Kane and Clay9999
were on Death's door, while Angel and Battler Girl had settled their 
differences and were now busy fondling each other's bodies with growing
passion. These things happen, man. No one knows why, they just do.

"Oh Angel..."

"Oh Battler Girl..."

[---]

Polnareff looked out at the road. It had been quiet, not another soul 
in sight save for the woman next to him. He had almost lived an entire
24 hours. Things were looking up.

"You know," he said with a smile, "I never introduced myself. I am Jean
Pierre Polnareff."

"Bloody Mary," was the woman's reply as she stopped the car, "of course,
you know that already, don't you Paul Pheonix?"

"Um, mademoiselle," JP said with unease as he saw a deranged look in 
her eye, "I am afraid you are confused..."

"Now don't you lie to me, Paulie," she said, pulling out a butcher knife
 as she handcuffed him to herself, "I hate it when you lie to me. Like 
when you said we'd be together forever. Well Paulie, I keep my promises,
and I'm not going to let you walk out on my life again you sweet thing..."

Polnareff cried out, but was then silenced. Bloody Mary hated it when 
boys cried.

[---]

Outside the offices of Violence Unlimited, Poison and Fuuma watched the
new guy. CJ had been pretty happy with the money they got from Heinlein, 
so he agreed to take the kid's advice. Ultros was now VU's official
mascot/coffee guy, and did his best to keep the office tidy as well.

"I dunno," Fuuma said. "I mean, as last of the Fuuma clan I thought I 
was the mascot."

Poison rolled hir eyes. "Don't sweat it Fuuma," she said. "Thankfully 
nothing will relpace you as a person." Shi reached into one of her desk
drawers and gave the red ninja an item. "Here, just to show you'll always
have a place in my heart."

"Wow, a real Russian Iron Faberge egg! Only 6 of them left y'know. I 
don't think this pin belongs here though, I'll just pull it."

Fuuma was caught in a fiery blast once again.

"I gotta clean that up y'know," Ultros said as he gave Poison her coffee.
"Hope ya don't mind I put some lemon in there for you."

Just another day at the office.

[---]

Author notes:
Well, that went quick. Gavok's up next, so expect more zaniness from 
that batty Battler Man Battalion. I hope you had enough fun reading 
this as I did writing it.

[---]

"Oh Battler Girl..."

"Oh Angel..."

"Hey," Kyo screamed. "Are any of you fuckheads still out there? I've
gotta take a piss!"