Magneto sat in his newly delivered La-Z-Boy brand recliner, waiting. He steepled his fingers in front of his face and waited. He tapped his fingers on his thighs and waited. He juggled seventy-odd small iron ball bearings with his powers, and waited. He prank-called M. Bison and waited. He waited floating in the air. He waited in his chair. He did not wait, with a goat, he waited with a dog that spoke. As the dog shifted its eyes, Magneto waited, no surprise. Magneto waited, on Asteroid M. Magneto waited way up there. He kept on waiting, never once pulling his hair. Magneto was patient, Reader there. Buyer beware. Never let it be said that Magneto didn't have time on his hands. He'd been plotting this for a very long time, and had the fortitude to see it through to completion. He had been sidetracked earlier, but he had taken care of that little problem in a little less than three hours. This project was different from all the others he had tried. This was serious. This required expert timing. It had taken a little over three days to set this up. Soon, it would come to fruition. Of course, all important things hit snags. This snag came in the form of a breathless Acolyte (Number One, to be exact) throwing open Magneto's door and dashing inside. "Master!" he shouted. "We have found Cable! The other members of the Scrub Corps are missing, but we have him! Are you ready to rain down your magnetically charged wrath upon him?" Magneto stared at his Acolyte. His eyes narrowed and he spoke slowly and menacingly. He spoke with gravity. "If you don't get out of here, right *now*, I will spin your head off so fast that it will travel *back* *in* *time*." "Master?" asked the Acolyte. "Shut up. Leave." [---] Dio Brando looked up from his new hiding place. He had felt a disturbance in the... something or other. "I find your lack of originality disturbing. Someone will pay... as soon as my skin grows back." [---] Magneto waited. And waited. Waited. Then, a tinny rhythmic beeping caught his attention. It was time. Magneto had finally hatched a Platinum Chocobochu. Life was good. He had the rarest of the rare, and now had the ability to go get the 'Knights of the Squared Circle' materesper, and kick the ass of Chrono Fantasy Mystic Mask Ogre Tactics Saga Story Complete's last boss in ten seconds flat. "Hell yeah." [---] "Well, you see," began Skullomania, "I was once a normal business man. I worked eighteen hours a day in an oppressive little cubicle, my boss hated me and my secretary went and got a sex change two days after I began flirting with her... er, him." "Why the hell are you telling us this?" asked Ashley Winchester, Agent of ARMS. He polished his rifle as he spoke. "We don't care." "WAI WAI WAI! (Yeah, what he said,)" added Lilka, his sorceress friend/pain in the ass. "For one thing, you can move, or else you'll never see this movie." Skullo grinned, but it was under his mask so no one saw it. "The line is three miles long. You're a captive audience, as it were. Second, I have to tell *someone* my origin." "..." replied Ashley. This was going to get on his nerves *very* quickly. "As I was saying, I needed a break." "You weren't saying that." Ashley twirled his rifle somehow between his fingers, and holstered it. Where he holstered it, exactly, is a damn good question. "Shut up. You weren't there. You wouldn't know. Anyway, I needed a break. So, I informed my boss that I was taking a Friday off so that I could go to this rave that I'd heard about. He fired me, kicked me in the face, and fired me again. So, jobless and scarred, I went to the rave. It was crazy. There were half-naked women, fully-naked women, half-naked catgirls, everything. Then, I saw him. My favorite movie star. Spinal." "Wait," interrupted Ashley. "That sucky skeleton guy?" "The very one. "He sucks," muttered Ashley. Skullo ignored that and just moved right along. "He was glowing green from what I thought were glow sticks at the time. He was dancing like a madman, and chatting up this blue-haired catgirl at the same time. Then, this other skeleton dropped out of nowhere. He was wearing this ugly pink vest and shorts, with sneakers and sunglasses. He was a beach skeleton or something. He was screaming something about Jimmy and Billy Lee, of all people. Anyway, Spinal just flips out. He whips this guy's ass, scatters his bones all over the club, and then goes back to dancing. I was like 'Wow. That guy is amazing.' So, I walked over to him to get an autograph. Problem is, I'm drunker than hell. I stumbled over, and knocked him over. His bones went flying all over the place. I try to put him back together, but it gets all screwed up. Legs on backwards, arms in his neck, face in his crotch." "WAI WAI WAI!(You sure do talk a lot, mister!)" said Lilka. Oblivious to the scorn, Skullo trudged on. "I went to grab his face and put it on right, when he bit me. Now, he broke skin. It burned. It burned like the heat of a million suns being shoved down my throat." "..." Ashley was ready to shoot this guy and get it over with. "Later on, I found out that Pyron was drunker than me, and thought that I was a gateway back to the Dark World or something, so he jumped down my throat. Weird, huh? Anyway, I kind of collapsed after Spinal bit me. It was pretty shocking. I mean, those weren't glow sticks making him green, that was *radioactivity*!" "Ooohhh," mocked Ashley. "Radioactivity! Wow!" "When I woke up, I felt funny. I realized that Spinal had given me all the powers of a skeleton by biting me. I was even wearing this costume. I then knew what I had to do." "Skeleton's don't have powers to give, and you can take that costume off. That story is such horseshit." [---] Forgot About Jae Chapter 12: Time and Tide Originally projectile vomited from the mouth of Shelby "Darkheart One" Scott. This chapter programmed to just totally flip out and kick you in the head and pop a boner by David "black dub" Brothers. Hey, do me a favor? Tell your mom that I'm sorry. I wouldn't have left if I had known that she was still awake. And tell her that this isn't a damn RECBT clone. [---] Last Time on FAJ: -- Garuda got stuck! -- Grant came on to, rather, Grant hit on Rock Howard! -- Geese Howard struck from the grave! -- Kool Aid Man broke the wall dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn! -- Vanilla Ice forgot about Jae! -- The World stopped time! -- Doom thought about the DoA girls jiggly bits... mmmm. -- Before I forget: Hanzou. Yeah, that felt good. Hanzou. Hanzou. Hanzou. Damn. [---] Kyo Kusanagi was relaxing on his roof, once again. In the past few weeks, he'd been through a lot of crap. Kidnapped by ninjas, fought over, taunted by a Dark Lord, and had his gimmick stolen half a dozen times. These were trying times. The only thing that made it better was the army of catgirls serving him- Kyo started awake suddenly. He'd been dozing on his roof, again. He stood up and stretched, and prepared to go back inside. It was getting late and he needed sleep. Real sleep. He turned to leave his balcony and saw something strange. There was a man standing in his doorway. He wore an outfit that looked a lot like what Kyo used to wear back in '97. Wait. Was this- "Shingo, what the hell are you doing in my house?" said Kyo as he stormed over to the unoriginal fanboy. Shingo turned towards Kyo a bit and looked at him. Shingo held a large lighter in his hands, which he lit. He hid the lighter in his fist, leaving only the flame visible and glared at Kyo. "Get the hell out," said Kyo. "Right the *fuck* now, you stupid poser. The restraining order isn't expired until you're fifty." Shingo looked at Kyo for a moment longer. "Kore ga..." muttered Shingo, "KUSANAGI NO KEN DA!" Shingo extinguished the flame in his hand and tossed the lighter off the building. He assumed Kyo's battle stance and beckoned. Kyo simply looked at him. He was actually speechless. At least, he was for a moment. "You son of a *bitch*! I'm gonna *kill* you! Fire is *mine*, motherfucker! I *invented* *fire*! BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN-urk!" Kyo fell to the ground, unconscious, a basketball landing near his body. "Took you long enough, Lucky Luke," said Shingo. "Don't call me Luke, bitch." Lucky Luke Glauber looked over his shoulder and waved someone over. "Kane, get your ass over here." A large man wearing a Union Jack bandanna and a black and white mask ambled over from the shadows. "Rrrnngh?" he said. "Tie up this garbage. We're going back to the hide-out." Shingo didn't like this. "Wait, what about my reward? I get Kyo alone for a while, right? So that I can extract his DNA and insert it into me so that I can use his powers?" Lucky looked at Shingo. He looked hard. "You want *what* now?" asked Lucky. "You want Kyo's DNA inside you?" Shingo nodded in affirmation. Lucky looked vaguely sick. "... Kane, throw this sick fucker off this building." Kane nodded in affirmation, and smacked Shingo in the head with his three-piece cane, sending the poor fanboy flying off Kyo's skyscraper. [---] J.P. Polnareff was wandering around an old mansion. He figured that it would most likely be safer than walking around outside. Off to his right he heard a dog's howl in the room next to him. Not being the very brave type, he summoned Silver Chariot and ran in the opposite direction. Of course, this was not a good idea. J.P. tripped over a certain large undead samurai who was lying face-up in a sticky mess on the floor. Needless to say, J.P. got stuck as well, only in a very compromising position. "Shit," he said. "Die," said Garuda, shortly before sending a huge spike into J.P. Polnareff's wet and sticky body. Okay, maybe that came out wrong. [---] "Oh, Trowa..." "Oh, Quatre..." "Mrs. Butterworth!" "Aunt Jemima!" "Bad Mr. Frosty-chu!" "Yeah, Chu-chu!" "Ohhhh, Uncle Ben!" "UNCLE BEN?!" [---] Then the ceiling collapsed on both Garuda and Jaypee, crushing the pretty-boy's chest into the undead samurai's face. This did not make Garuda happy. What made him even more pissed off was when a decayed dog wandered into the room. It sniffed around a bit, and then marked its territory. Which happened to be Garuda's face. I guess you could say that Garuda was pissed off and pissed on. "Hate." [---] Dio looked up again. "Unoriginal. Hmph." [---] "Ralf, put them on." "Fuck you man, no," said Ralf. "Put. The. Damn. Glasses. On." Ralf crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at Clark. "No." "I'll do it!" shouted Whip. "Let me wear them! Letmeletmeletme!" Whip got so excited that she began vibrating in place. Literally. Ralf and Clark looked at each other. "Is it your turn to medicate her or mine?" asked Ralf. "Your turn." "GALATICA PHANTOM!" "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" said Whip. [---] At Violence Unlimited, the phone rang. "Violence Unlimited," said Poison. "You point, we mangle beyond recognition." "Umm... I've got a problem." "What is it?" "Well..." "Spit. It. Out." "Zombies ate my neighbors." "And you're telling me this because..." "Well... I'm supposed to go out and save them, but I... I can't. I'm scared." "You're scared? Look, what does this have to do with us?" "I was wondering if you could help me." Poison sighed into the phone. Annoyance level? Way the fuck up. "We don't do fucking *zombies*, call S.T.A.R.S.," shi said. "Well, what about the forty foot baby on my lawn?" "Call its mother. Don't call us. Dipshit." Poison slammed down the phone. Shi hated people like that. They got on hir nerves. Speaking of people who got on hir nerves... "Hey, Poison?" asked Fuuma. "What?" replied Poison. "Poison?" "What, Fuuma?" "Poison." "What?" "What?" "What?" "What?" "What?" "Nothin'," finished Fuuma. "Hey, Fuuma," said Poison, "hold this for me?" "Sure, what is it?" Poison tossed a round object at him. "What does 'claymore' mean?" "Just you wait," said Poison as shi ducked under hir desk and tapped a button on a remote. "Owwie," said Fuuma. Poison took a moment to laugh. Of course, the phone interrupted her happiness again. "Violence Unlimited, ask me a stupid question and I'll call you a moron." "Umm... hi," said a clear female voice. "..." "I need your help." "Yes, I gathered that. Why the hell else would you be calling us? For chit-chat?" "Well, my boyfriend's been kidnapped. I need you to get him back." "Yeah, well, we can do that. Who is he, where is he, give us something to work with." "Well, I'm not sure where he is. He just disappeared one night." "Who is he?" "Kyo Kusanagi." "Fuck you." Click. [---] At OOSHA Headquarters, the phone rang. "OOSHA," said Dig-Dug, "We are here for all your religious needs." "I need help." "How can we help ya, hon?" "Well, Kyo Kusanagi has been kidnapped." "What, again?" For once, Yuki's voice was hopeful. Was salvation in sight? "Well, yes. Could you rescue him by any chance?" "Sure. But, we have kind of a full caseload. Could it wait til next week?" Damn. [---] In a darkened alley, two super-types were fighting. This was not unusual in any sense of the word, but pay attention. It gets better. "You *die*, Spider!" shouted Venom, right before jump-kicking Spider- man in the face. "Oh yeah, Brock? Here, take *one for J.J.*! Spider Sting!" Spidey landed and posed, flaunting his skill. "Y'know Venom, I think you just might be overrated." "Little do you know, Parker," said Venom, as if the very name was distasteful, "our symbiote is tops. Everyone should have one!" Jumping kick, uppercut, and Spider-man lands fifteen feet away. On his *feet*. Damnit. "Too late, Eddie-baby. I *had* your symbiote! That's right! I had it all... night... long!" "Urrrrrgh, SPIDER! DIE! Venom *WEB*!" Venom leapt into mid-air, spraying webs all over the alley, hoping to catch Spider-man. Instead, he caught something wholly different, and yet, the same. "Hiya, guys!" said Ben Reilly, the Scarlet Spider. "Venom, could you let me out of your web thingamajig? I've got a date with Gwen Stacey in about ten minutes and I don't want to be late. She said she might actually kiss me tonight!" Venom facepalmed. "Parker, he's your friend. You take care of him. Fucking clone." Spider-man sighed and looked at his wayward clone. "Ben, Gwen has been dead for years. Dead. Years. Deceased. There is no way that she is going to kiss you, because she is *dead*. Understand?" Ben thought for a moment. "So, there is no chance of me getting any action from her tonight?" "Not tonight, or any night. I hope." Spider-man shivered in disgust at the ugly mental picture. Ben's face darkened for a moment. He would always be a loser. A punk. A herb. He would never amount to anything. The Jackal was right, he would always be a worthless clone of Peter Parker... wait. "Hey, what about Mary-Jane? Since I'm you, and you're me, I could sleep with her all I want and it wouldn't be adultery!" "... *what*?" "No, it's okay! I'll call her up right now. She's got *huge* hooters right? I like those. What kind of lingerie does she like? Any positions I should watch out for? Do I really need a condom? Hey, does she give good-" "Venom?" "Yeah?" replied Spidey's archenemy. "Kill it." "One date with Gwen Stacy, coming right up." Ben Reilly had the decency to look scared. "Now, wait a minute, guys! I'm cool, right? C'mon! This isn't funny! What's with those teeth?! Look, chill out! Hey, NOT THE NECK!" What followed was a quite tasteless display of gore and carnage, which would wreck our strict NC-17 rating if it were to be detailed. Actually, someone just said "Hanzou" and I got off track. Sorry. [---] At the coffee shop across the street, Fulgore and Carnage were watching the festivities. "Well," said Carnage, "I didn't know ol' Brock had it in him." "101010101011100001," replied Fulgore. "Yeah, but it looks like Clone-boy is limping away. How he's doing that with no legs, I dunno. Anyways, how're things with you and Orchid?" "101010111000110101," answered Fulgore. "Dude, that's *sick*. What kind of woman flashes every man *but* her date when they're out?" "101010011." "There was a light in there? Implants, dude, implants." "0101010. 001." "Oh. Everyone she flashed died?" "1." "That's crazy. I wonder what she's packing in there. You felt 'em yet?" "0." "Sorry, man. That sucks." "0010100101010101," said Fulgore, "010100111." "Yeah, I hear ya. Pass the beer, bro." In another corner of the coffee shop, Onslaught was having tea with Apocalypse. They were talking about nothing in particular, at least until Cyclops and Archangel wandered over, drunk off their asses. "Onshlaugh'?" muttered Cyclops. "It ish! Onshlaught, joo son of a bish... gimme back Profeshor X," he managed, right before vomiting all over Onslaught's enormous shoes. Archangel, having spotted Apocalypse, sobered up quickly. "Father?" "MY SON," replied Apocalypse, "HOW'VE YOU BEEN?" "I've been okay... Betsy's gone all weird though. How'd you do it, pops? I mean, I had everything. Cars, women, money, recreational drugs, lesbian orgies, wings, everything. Then, I go and settle down with an British chick-turned-sexy Oriental Assassin, and everything goes to shit. You, you started with nothing. Pharoah Something Or Other beat the shit out of you, almost daily. Yet, you still live the good life. You could have any woman you want, or clone her. You're gonna rule the world someday, and you know it. Is there any way that I could get a piece of that action? I mean, you are my dad, and all." "ERRR..." replied Apocalypse. "LOOK, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT MY BIOLOGICAL SON, RIGHT? TECHNICALLY, I OWE YOU NOTHING." "What?! You mean I've been living a lie?!" On the other side of the table, another conversation was unfolding. "Dreamsh... don't... die!" "THE DREAM IS DEAD." "Dreams... don't... die, dammit!" "THE DREAM IS DEAD." "F'ck you... dreamsh don't... die!" "THE DREAM IS DEAD." "Dreamsh don't-" "I TIRE OF THIS. BEHOLD MY MIGHTY BOOT TO DA HEAD!" [---] After disposing of a certain expendable clone, Spider-man and Venom were right back at it. "You ruined our innocence, you son of a bitch!" shouted Venom. Spider-man just looked confused. "I don't remember doing that. We never had sex." "... VENOM FANG!" "SPIDER STING!" "VENOM FANG!" "MAXIMUM SPIDER!" "VENOM RUSH!" Spider-man paused, tired from the battle. They'd been fighting for hours now, with no end in sight. Finally, he decided to try and immobilize Venom. Spidey leapt backwards, firing a web-line at the symbiotic monstrosity. Venom caught it with one hand. They both paused, each holding an end of the web. Slowly, something turned over in their minds, and they began spinning the rope. Soon, they began to sing. "Jumprope time! Jumprope time! Let's all jumprope and fight crime! How many times can we jump and skip, before we all begin to trip? One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine!" Out of nowhere, a third voice yelled "TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" Spider-man and Venom looked around, confused. They didn't see anyone, so they continued turning the rope. When they looked back at each other, they realized that someone was in the way, madly skipping rope. "What the-?!" said Venom. "Skullo?!" said Spider-man. "Yeah! Fourteen! Fifteen! Sixteen! Seventeen! Eighteen!" All of a sudden, both Spidey and Venom stopped turning the rope. "Ow! That got me in the eye!" "Why are you here, you weird little stalker guy?" asked Spider-man. "I came to show you something! I can shoot webs too!" "Skullo," said Venom, "you're dressed as a skeleton. They make rattling noises and scare children. Skeletons don't shoot webs." "This one does! Watch!" To the dismay of all present, excepting Skullomania, he shot a web twenty feet into the air, where it impacted against the side of a building. "Whoa," said Spidey. "..." said Venom. Skullo powerposed, and dropped the can of silly string in the process. "Look," said Venom. "Spider-man, this has gone on long enough. We were trying to devour your brains, and having a good time of it, but *your* friends and clones and shit keep on butting in. Get rid of them." "Look man, I'm sorry," replied Spider-man. "I seem to attract crazies like flies to a spider's-" "Finish that pun and we will kill you now." "Ahem. Okay. Skullo, leave." Skullo sat down Indian-style between the two. "No. I'm going to learn this super-hero business." "Okay, fine. Doppelganger, get down here." A six-armed mutant clone of Spider-man dropped down from the sky, landing beside Spidey. "I have a name, you know," said the doppelganger. "My bad. I keep on forgetting. What is it?" "Tad. Tad Arachnoidal." "Er, okay." Spider-man paused for a moment. "Kind of a mouthful, isn't it?" Tad's grimace answered that question. Of course, he was always grimacing. That's just how his face was made. If he did anything other than grimace, he'd slit his own throat with his teeth. "Anyway, get rid of Skullo for me. I'll owe you one." "Hmm... okay." Skullo was starting get worried. "Um, guys? Wait... can we talk about this? You know what? My Skullo Sense is tingling like a motherf-" [---] Lucky's hideout. This was the big hit. Lucky and Kane had dragged Kyo's unconscious body all the way back to their pierside warehouse, and had finally made it in. The bastard weighed more than he looked. Once they were inside and had stowed Kyo in a spare closet, they went to Lucky's war room to plan. Little did they know, someone was waiting for them there. "So, Kane," Lucky said on the way to the room, "what do you think? How much do you think Kyo is worth to the world at large?" "Urrrrnnngh." "Say what?" "He said," announced a feminine voice, "that there is a sexy bitch standing beside your throne! Yow! Bomp-chicka-bow-wow!" "What?! Who're you?" "You can call me... Angel." The platinum-haired beauty pirouetted, and posed cutely. Kane, a noted diabetic, immediately collapsed, unconscious. "I'm here with a good friend, who's just *dying* to meet you." Angel posed again, licking her finger and touching it to her backside. She made a hissing sound with her mouth. "Yeah! Hot stuff!" Lucky was paying no attention to her speech. Instead, he focused on her more prominent... assets. Lucky grinned. "Look, babe, why don't we go back to my room for a minute? I know you're an angel, Angel, but I can introduce you to heaven!" "I think not, fool," said a wet, sickly voice. "She is mine." "Who said that?!" "Look upon the throne, and you will find the answer to your question." Lucky, never the genius, took a moment to parse this. Finally, he looked at the throne in the middle of room. In it sat a man. More of a boy, really. He looked somewhat familiar to Lucky. "Who're you? Do I know you from somewhere?" "You may call me... Clay9999. We have much to speak of." Across the room, Angel stretched. Just thought you might want to know. Lucky slowly walked towards the throne. Once he got close enough to see Clay9999's face, however, he stopped dead in his tracks. "Dude, you've got something on your face." "What?!" shouted Clay9999. "Where?! Angel, getitoff! Getitoff!" "Comin' boss!" Angel shouted. "Wait... there's nothing there." "Woman," began Lucky, "I'm looking at his face, and it is the most fucked up thing I have *ever* seen in my entire life. There is no way *that* shit is natural." Angel happened to knock a few papers off the war room's desk. She bent over at the waist to pick them up. Just FYI, don'tcha know. Clay9999 fumed for a moment. "It isn't natural, you *are* right about that. Allow me to fix it." With that, Clay9999's face changed shape before Lucky's eyes, first changing to a featureless goop, then into a perfect replica of Lucky's face, albeit rounder and white, and then into a form that resembled the face of- "Tetsuo?!" shouted Lucky. "You're *Tetsuo*?!" "*FUCK*!" shouted Clay9999. "I am *not* Tetsuo! I'm *not*! NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT!" "Whoa, chill out man. Anyway, what do you want?" Angel, off in the background, happened to accidentally spill an entire gallon jug of water all over herself. Make sure to tell your friends. Clay9999 took a couple of deep breaths and began. "You have Kyo Kusanagi. I hate Kyo Kusanagi. However, I also hate Battler Man. Due to both of their actions, I was made into this... monstrosity. So. We can use Kyo as bait for Battler Man, and then kill them both." Clay9999 took a moment to show Lucky exactly what he meant by monstrosity. The young man morphed into a gelatinous ball of flesh, veins and tissue bulging. He morphed back into a man, except that his left arm had... *infected* the throne, embedding itself inside and cracking its exterior. Clay9999 groaned and popped a few pills, which caused his arm to retract to a normal shape. Lucky just stared in shock. Angel stretched out on Lucky's plush war room couch and stretched like a cat. Inquiring minds wanted to know that. "I think we will get along, Clay9999. No doubt about it. Can you do me a favor, though?" "What?" "Can you yell "Kaneda" really loudly?" "..." Angel jumped up and down about twenty times. Just in case you were wondering. Or something. [---] "I find this unoriginality *disgusting*. Someone will pay for this. They will pay in *blood*, *sweat*, and *pomegranates*... yes." [---] "E. Honda is a son of a *bitch*! Do you guys know E. Honda?" stated Seth. "Hell yeah, E. Honda slept with my wife and her two sisters on our anniversary!" said Ken Masters. "E. Honda whipped my ass and then went home and made sweet, sweet love to my wife!" said Guile. "And he's what, five foot ten and five hundred pounds? To E. Honda!" "E. HONDA!" "E. Honda fondled me during our fight!" said Rainbow Mika. The other three simply stared at her blankly. "The fuck did you come from?" asked Seth. "And shut up. That's disgusting." "E. Honda picked my car up and carried it all the way to the body shop!" said Guile. "To E. Honda!" "E. HONDA!" shouted everyone. "I once saw E. Honda stare down a grizzly bear, and then swallow it whole! To be six-four and weigh eight hundred pounds, that's quite a feat! To E. Honda!" shouted Seth. "E. HONDA!" said all the guys. "E. Honda took on all of Shadaloo single-handedly, and ate every last *one* of Bison's new ChocoBison-Pops!" said Ken. "Actually, that's pretty normal. To E. Honda, ANYWAY!" "E. HONDA!" "E. Honda created an impro based on a martial artist's son!" shouted Seth. "E. HONDA!" "E. Honda built the house he was born in!" said Ken. "E. HONDA!" "He has Damnd's body stuffed and mounted in his den!" said Guile. "Wait," interrupted Rainbow. "Who?" "Uh, you know," replied Guile. "Damnd." "Oh. To E. Honda?" "E. HONDA!" "They say," began Seth, "that it was the sight of E. Honda's naked ass that drove Rugal Bernstein to evil!" "E. HONDA!" "E. Honda once tried to get me to-" "SHUT UP, RAINBOW!" [Author's Notes] Who didn't get any real writing done until one in the morning on Tuesday night? dub didn't get any real writing done until one in the morning on Tuesday night! I said who didn't get any real writing done until one in the morning on Tuesday night? dub didn't get any real writing done until one in the morning on Tuesday night! Who's house? dub's house! I said who's house? dub's house! Martiiiiiiiiiiiiin... Martiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin... That's right, ladies and gents. I had exactly 6k worth of material until about one a.m. Tuesday. Okay. It's done. Without an extension, no less! Thanks to Gavok for ideas, and proofreading. Also, thanks to him for letting me steal/butcher one (or two) of his gags. Thanks to Alair and my partner in rhyme Caesar Jay for prereading as well. Who actually got (semi-)obscure with a few games references? Yeah, I did. That's right. Spot 'em if you can, monkey-people! Also... a word of warning. Keep me away from anything even remotely ecchi. I had to hold back on that Angel stuff. Sometimes I swear that I have an inner Racewing just dying to get out ^__^ Now, I need rest. I've forgotten what it's like to get to sleep before 1:30a.m. Up next is... Moon Knight! Or not. Maybe Marc Spector. I dunno. Bruce Wayne? --- david'blackdub'brothers.riotofthebittercynicismblackdub sarcasticasfox@canada.com